Abortionists feel stigmatized; upset that killing children in the womb not viewed as “normal”
Professional obstacles cited by physicians [who perform abortions] included workplaces with an anti-abortion climate; the surprisingly widespread “no-abortion policies” that quietly exist in many private practices, HMOs, and hospitals across the country; the risk of being pigeonholed as just an abortion provider; and the risk of being ostracized by the local medical community and patient population. On a more personal level, some physicians worried that providing abortions would cause their families to suffer discrimination and even danger.
In addition, many providers are stigmatized by the very patients who come to them for abortions. Physicians who staff specialized abortion clinics report disheartening interactions with patients who ask “How do you do this on a regular basis?” or “Isn’t this really hard for you?” Even though these patients are willing to have abortions, they have absorbed society’s beliefs about abortion providers and convey that to their doctors.
Separation is a hallmark of any stigmatized practice, and the fact that 93% of abortions are now performed at specialized clinics is no accident….
While specialized abortion clinics are often able to cultivate a more positive environment for women in need of services, their complete separation from all other health-care facilities only perpetuates the idea that abortion is not a “normal” part of women’s reproductive health care.
~ Jennifer Coletti, RH Reality Check, September 22
[Photo via RH Reality Check]
Dear Jennifer,
The processes of becoming a board certified physician and a scientist are exactly the same in both time and effort, differing only in the scientist going to the lab and the physician doing rotations and residency with patients. In my case, 70% of the coursework was identical, so here’s some insight.
It begins with four years of tough undergraduate coursework including full-year courses in physics, general chemistry, organic chemistry, physical chemistry, calculus, biostatistics, general biology, anatomy and physiology, biochemistry, genetics, molecular biology, histology, etc…
Assuming the candidate has made it through all of that with good grades, there comes the Medical College Admission Test, which is akin to putting one’s head into a sausage grinder for 8 hours and hoping to do very well. At this point one is competing with the 30% who made it through pre-med alive.
After admission to medical school, there is a brutal two-year course of basic sciences classes. The pace and workload are so intense that most students EITHER go to class, or read the books. Most simply don’t have time for both.
Then comes the first part of their licensing exam, the USMLE, Part I.
Then comes the exhausting 3rd and 4th years rotations through the various hospital services and more endless hours of study.
Then comes part II of the USMLE.
After graduating with their doctorates, the new doctors enter internship and residency, which can last anywhere from three to seven years, depending on the specialty. Most states still permit the 36 hour shifts for resident physicians, which is exhausting. Somewhere early in that process they take Part III of the USMLE and become full-fledged physicians. After their residency training, candidates then sit for their board exams in the chosen specialty, usually a combination of written and oral.
By now, 12-15 years has elapsed since the first day of pre-med in undergrad.
Many will choose to go on for advanced training in a highly specialized area of medicine, requiring a two-year post-doctoral fellowship, with yet another certification exam.
Ph.D.’s go through a very similar process.
In all of that sacrifice of time, effort, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in training (and hundreds of thousands more of lost income while in medical/graduate school and residency), we all have a dream that sustains us. We have a vision of ourselves making some significant contribution to the world so that our time here was well spent. We typically have the dream of helping other human beings by relieving their pain and suffering.
Tearing babies to shreds violates every precept that sustains the overwhelming majority of us through all of that frustration and physical exhaustion for almost 20 years of our adult lives. Yes, we regard such practitioners of the Black Art as common butchers and treat them as lepers in the societies of doctors, whose sacred trust it is to uphold the highest standards of our fields of endeavor.
They are lepers and pariahs for good reason. They murder the innocent, the most fundamental violation of the Hippocratic Oath. They butcher women. They do not follow the standard of care in Obstetrics and Gynecology.
They are despised and loathed by us, and their stigma is as great as the betrayal of our collective sense of dignity and decency in the scientific and medical professions.
Efforts by proaborts to force legislation that would force abortion into hospitals will only stiffen the resistance of the medical community and make the alienation and isolation of the abortionist all the more acute. Until such time as they abandon the Black Art, their stigma and their isolation are well-deserved.
Absent any repentance, they are also a foretaste of their eternal condition.
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the surprisingly widespread “no-abortion policies” that quietly exist in many private practices
Woohoo!
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93% at abortuaries. Much of the 7% of abortions done at hospitals are women that have pregnancy complications that require actual medical care.
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well good am to all. today is my 42nd birthday. abortion was illegal when mom was pregnant with me. my birthday wish? that women considering abortion will stop! those kids deserve a birthday also.
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the hospital where i gave birth to all 4 of my kids has been performing abortions for 30 plus years. who knew? their dirty little secret came out back in 2000 when a 6 month pregnant girl i worked with aborted there. she tried to lie and say it was a miscarriage but it just didnt pass the smell test. she finally admitted it. once i began talking to people in my pl group they said “heck metro has been killing babies for 30 years!
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its a shame because we have some of the best hospitals here in cleveland. we have the cleveland clinic. celebrities come from all over the world because they specialize in heart surgery. metrohealth medical center ranks top 10 in burn and trauma but why are they killing babies?
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HEATHER…glad you’re here (In the world, AND on Jillstanek.com)! ;)
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Abortionists feel stigmatized? Am I supposed to cry? They are stigmatized because they SHOULD be. Killing babies is NOT normal.
I’m just so baffled by the mindset of pro-aborts. It’s just unbelievable. Pro-aborts have more sympathy for ABORTIONISTS than for smokers.
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thanks pamela!:)
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these people chose to kill babies. butchers and killers……yes but they arent doctors. doctors heal. perhaps a grown man or woman doesnt want their elderly parent. should doctors and nurses kill them based on unwantedness?
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Not normal…..really. You mean killing a baby in the womb isn’t normal. Gee, I’m shocked. The pro-abortion forces have having a conniption fit over the ‘Voices from the Womb’ 4D video of a baby in the womb. This is so powerful it will overwhelm abortion proponent logic. Below is a link. Make sure everybody you know (pro or con about abortion) gets this video.
http://www.catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=42941
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although i know many women who have aborted the goodlord has blessed me with healing words for them. i have a new bff and she opened up to me about the pain her abortion brought her way. she told me how the clinic lied. i told her she is forgiven as she has prayed to the lord for mercy. she keeps saying that she doesnt believe god will forgive her. were working on it. the misconception about christians is that we think we are better. the lord took a tough case liberal like me and changed me. i didnt think he would ever forgive me either
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their complete separation from all other health-care facilities only perpetuates the idea that abortion is not a “normal” part of women’s reproductive health care.
That’s because it isn’t health care. Health care aims to heal the body, not literally tear it apart. Health care is about protecting life, not intentionally destroying it. Abortion should be separated from health-care facilitates because it is NOT a normal part of a woman’s health care. It is entirely abnormal to reach into the womb and make it a place of death. It is right that such a barbaric practice should be stigmatized.
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You know, if all that stigma hurts their wittle feewings so much, they could actually practice medicine like ethical doctors do and stop doing abortions. Then all of those stresses would go away. Or is abortion just more lucrative and the chances of getting sued almost zero because the pro abortion fanatics will defend just about anything short of hacking a woman with an axe.
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hmmm….. the following lines from the Original version of the Hippocratic oath were removed:
“I will not give a lethal drug to anyone if I am asked, nor will I advise such a plan; and similarly I will not give a woman a pessary to cause an abortion. ”
..and replaced with these lines in the Modern version:
“ If it is given to me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God ”
There must’ve been an over-emphasis on “it may also be within my power to take a life” during the pro-aborts training…
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It is entirely abnormal to reach into the womb and make it a place of death.
Jen, you have quite a way with words. So succinct and so true.
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from their own ranks, an admission that abortionists are ostracized by their peers. it begs the question, why would a person go through the grueling experience of a becoming a physician for the sole purpose of chopping up a human being with a sharp instrument, dismembering, and suctioning babies out of a woman’s uterus – knowing the stigma they carry in their own professional community? What kind of a person dreams about doing this?
“Absent any repentance, they are also a foretaste of their eternal condition”
absolutely, dr. nadal
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right hippie is. the abortion industry is the only practice i know of where an abortionist can rape and molest patients mutilate us call us tramps on the exam table and nothing i mean zip nada is done. a dentist would be hung by his privates
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Who cares what’s written at RHRealitycheck? My personal experience has been that the site is filled with rabid pro-aborts (yes, they’re really deserving of that title there) who attack you, spit vitriol at every opportunity and make outlandish statements without repercussion. You can pretty much pass off anything written and/or posted there as being extreme, even by pro-choice standards.
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Some Guy,
I don’t think it’s such a bad idea to read what pro-choicers are concerned about in the fight for life. Do you?
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Don’t like being stigmatized for doing abortions? Then don’t do them.
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Loving all the comments! If I wasnt on my phone I could properly “like” them all.
Happy birthday Heather! Im glad you are in the world too!
Just wanted to share with you all I am feeling my baby flutter now at 14 weeks. I remember when I was pregnant with my son my ob/gyn assured me he didnt do abortions after he admitted he was pro-choice. If abortion is ethical enough to support then why isnt it ethical enough to perform?
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Abortionists and those who advocate abortion know EXACTLY what happens during an abortion. Read Dr. Bernard Nathanson’s book, “The Hand of God” (God rest his soul!). He pulled no punches regarding not just the whole sick abortion industry, but his own involvement. It is one of the most moving books I’ve ever read. Anyone who has any doubt about an abortion or what happens in an abortion will have no further doubts.
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Abortionists are hired killers, paid big salaries to murder the innocent children in the womb. They do untold damage to women and turn their backs on a profession that was supposed to be for healing.
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“why would a person go through the grueling experience of a becoming a physician for the sole purpose of chopping up a human being with a sharp instrument, dismembering, and suctioning babies out of a woman’s uterus”
Several articles over the years have addressed this question; and the answers usually boil down, in order, to: 1) narcissism, 2) money, 3) their own views of sexuality.
PS happy birthday Heather
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Magdalene: Say it like it is, girlfriend!!
Eric: I would only change one thing in your assessment: number 2 should really be number 1. Just a thought…
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thanks for the birthday wishes all!
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“I would only change one thing in your assessment: number 2 should really be number 1.”
Nothing objective in my ordering, I just remembered a couple of the articles talked about how some abortionists, who go through years of medical school and internship, develop a narcissistic “look how hard I worked” savior complex and dream of saving the world, terminating one evil unwanted pregnancy at a time. Many of those doctors were outside the US, though; and I would agree US abortionists may feel a calling more to the money.
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Agreed, Eric – but I keep looking for an answer on a more visceral level…… is it something akin to a more societally acceptable channeling of sociopathic tendencies? what is in the mind of a person who kills, day, after day, after day, after day, after day, after day (because I don’t believe for one minute that anyone smart enough to get through medical school believes it’s “only a clump of cells”)? What does it do to a persons soul? if they stopped killing babies would they start killing other people? how can they enjoy normal relationships? how can they affirm the living? talk about seared consciences…. very smart people with seared consciences = very scary stuff.
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JLO: Hey! I don’t mean THE J.Lo.!! :) You are absolutely correct. I don’t believe for one nanosecond that abortionists and their ilk don’t know EXACTLY what they are doing and what it entails–they just don’t care…whatever their reasons, they just don’t care. This culture of death, as some are chafed to hear it said, is responsible for what is occurring today in our country and elsewhere. There is going to be a great accounting one day.
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Abortionists have to realize they are being stigmatized for a reason. Its a new era, more and more people are acknowledging how horrendous abortion is and they are speaking out against it. People are becoming less desensitized by pro-choice rhetoric and are starting to see abortion for what it is. This is also true among doctors, I was reading an article about this pattern happening in Arizona, more and more doctors are agiant the practice of abortion:
http://blog.azpolicy.org/life/fewer-arizona-doctors-willing-to-perfom-abortions/
If this trend continues throughout the country and enough doctors turn away this will cause a big problem for the abortion industry. Hopefully these physicians can inspire others to follow.
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lets not forget all the holly pattersons who were swept under the blood soaked abortion industry rug. their attitude to hollys dad~ oh well sorry sir. she died. same forthe family of christen gilbert. and last time i checked carharts practice was still in full swing. disgusting. totally low life disgusting!
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J.S.: Great article! Maybe our prayers are finally being answered, slowly but surely!
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perhaps some of you remember the story of the lady attacked by a chimp. he ripped off er face and the cleveland clinic did a face transplant. they also did one for a woman who was shot in the face by her husband. we can do all this yet the best we can offer women in crisis is abortion?
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and for all those who dont buy abortionists being in trouble time and time again for sexual perversion please check out the case of brian finkel. he was an arizona abortionist who fondled molested and raped his patients. he jerked one woman down into the stirrups it made her cry and then he bit her nipple. he often bragged that some women would trade sex for abortions. barbara boxer finally stepped in after 88 counts were brought against him and now hes in the can.
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Heather: Abortion is what is offered because that is what women want. If women didn’t want to kill their babies there would be no need for legalization of abortion.
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Heather,
Cleveland’s own Patricia Heaton (of The Middle) is probably the most famous Hollywood pro-lifer. The two of you represent the city well!
No wonder abortionists “can’t get no respect” among doctors. Do those junkyard workers who compact cars into blocks of metal get any respect from auto mechanics? Why should they? Two totally different “professions”.
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hans its funny you mention p. heaton because we are both from the same suburb~bay village. thanks for the compliment. i remember heatons reply to a woman who aborted to go to college so shed “have something to do with her time” and heaton said “raising kids is giving women somthing to do with their time” shes a class act
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sister terese im aware and its so sad
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(chuckling at ‘JLO’, sister. :))
…and I still can’t figure out why all of the sudden in this day and age, it’s bad to be shamed, or be ashamed for doing something shameful. Everyone is so concerned about shaming and stigmatizing…..may it never cease in this case.
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JLO: Yes…our culture has devolved considerably in the last 40 years. All in the name of “progress”. Hmmm… what kind of “progress” have we made?? We have become a nation in which our actions are no longer dictated by our personal mores or convictions, but by fear out of what others will think of us. We have become programmed by political and celebrity pundits championing sinister agenda who are basically marxist, atheistic, and nihilistic…not to mention the overall pervasive cancer of relativism (which comes from the ultra-leftist universities) that has permeated rational thought and public discourse. All these things could easily (…well, maybe not THAT easily!) corrected by a return to our Christian roots. No matter what the opposition believes or makes us try to believe, this country was founded on Christian principles. We have lost that and are continuing to lose whatever remnants remain. Much prayer is needed.
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Heather: Abortion is what is offered because that is what women want. If women didn’t want to kill their babies there would be no need for legalization of abortion.
Women and young girls are sometimes forced to abort. They are lied to by omission at the mills that only seek to make a profit by killing. There is no informed consent with abortion. Coercion plays a huge factor as parents will kick their own child to the streets if they don’t abort, boyfriends will walk out on a pregnant woman who doesn’t abort. Women who are left alone in their situation, sometimes feel as if they have no “choice.” Many of us wanted help, support and someone to walk along beside us.
Please explain to me why 80% of abortion minded or abortion vulnerable women when shown the ultrasound of their growing child change their minds and choose life? And also why Planned Parenthood fights ultrasound legislation tooth and nail??
You need to get informed.
http://theunchoice.com/intro.htm
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carla i meant no offense agreeing with sister terese. i was thinking more to supply /demand. i agree that many many and most women are victims but i also believe that others do its there
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Make no mistake.
Abortion is an industry and a lucrative one at that.
An industry that preys on women and offers only ONE choice. Which is no choice at all.
Women deserve better than abortion.
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should say some women have hard hearts from sin and may do it because its available on demand
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Carla: I understand completely what you are saying. It seems, from what you’ve alluded to, that you have experienced abortion first hand and personally. For that, my heart breaks for you. You will be in my prayers from now on. However, we, as women, have really no excuse for being “uninformed”. Perhaps 30 or 40 years ago, yes, but not today. I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY with you that all women who consider abortion do so out of pressure and coercion by their boyfriends, husbands, parents,abortion industry, and the political lies that are constantly thrown at us from every angle. But, and I say that “but” with all possible charity, women today simply cannot be further subjected to this horror by claiming ignorance. I saw a documentary a year or so ago about a tribe of indigenous people on some south sea island. There was a married man and woman with three children. They raised their children under their own tribal customs and beliefs. They had/have no modern conveniences. They live and have lived in the jungle using whatever the jungle provides as food, shelter, and medicine. The woman got pregnant. The man and woman discussed this “problem” together in their own language. It was decided that they could not feed another child. So, the husband went off into the jungle to prepare a tonic for the wife to drink that was supposed to end the pregnancy. Amazingly, it worked. Their statements to the researcher and cameraman was that they had to end the life of the child because it was better for the rest of the family. Now, my point here is this: as I said, this was an indigenous family on some island–had no access to any kind of modern technology or medicine or formal education. Inherently (and that is the key word here) they knew, and their ancestors before them knew, that whatever concoction it was that they made, would end the life of a child…not a turnip, but a child. We human beings, and particularly women, have been given an inherent gift from God of knowledge of who and what we are. We know we are the bearers of new life. Now, perhaps here in our country we have a more comprehensive knowledge of the actual structure and design of procreation. But even before this explosion of knowledge, we KNEW that we, as women, have been given a special role/privilege from God…that same privilege as did our Blessed Mother (in the sense of being able to bring another human life into existence). So, in my mind (and my mind has been VERY wrong on many things), regardless of whether or not a women has been formally educated in the horrors of abortion, we still know that it entails the ending of a human life. Walking into Planned Parenthood, or some other abortion mill solidifies the fact that one knows what one will be the end result. The deliberate and conscious ending of a human life. Whatever our rationale is behind that or whatever forces/influences/pressures that have been imposed upon us to make that walk into those doors does not negate our knowledge and will to do what we are about to do. Maybe I am being too judgemental..I don’t think I am because even though I’ve never had to make that “choice”, someone very close to me has–twice. In addition, being a teacher, particularly with students in middle to upper school age groups has also afforded me the opportunity to work with male and female students on this very topic. They know. Believe me, they know. They may not know how to properly head a research paper, or how to correctly develop a hypothesis, or how to solve an equation with two variables, but the one thing they DO know is about sex, pregnancy, and the consequences of sin. It is the mentality today that someone else is to blame (and therefore must pay the consequences of our mistake/s) that has pickled our consciences with nihilism and relativism.
Please know that I do not in anyway at all condemn or judge anyone who has had to face having or participating in an abortion. That is not my job nor my vocation. However, I am also a firm believer in looking at life realistically and with common sense. I cannot imagine the hurt and pain that women go through having been pressured and/or coerced into having an abortion. That is beyond my capabilities. And well it should be. But, I believe that at some point we (as women) have to truly stop being “victims”. I hope you have not taken any offense because I mean everything I say with the utmost love and charity that I can. God bless you.
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We are not talking about indigenous folks though are we?
Who is claiming ignorance?
You do not want to condemn or judge anyone but you do. By saying women that abort are not victims. By saying that in this day and age women are without excuse. You must be reading Abby Johnson’s stuff then?
You know, here is the simple truth. You have no idea as we all have our own stories. I would urge you to head on over to Silent No More Awareness and read some. When they realize what they have done the hurt and pain overwhelms. The regret takes hold and never leaves.
There are people in my life that I am sure think that I am not a victim, or that I got what I paid for, or that I “dwell” too much on my abortion. BUT they would NEVER in a million years say that to me. They love me too much. They keep it to themselves as they know those words would serve no purpose. Some things are just better left unsaid. You may want to heed that. Also, it might behoove you to seek out some women in abortion recovery and just sit and listen to them.
We who reject abortion do not reject those who have had abortions.
-Father Frank Pavone
This is my story. I am not alone. I am silent no more.
http://outcrywisconsin.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-story-at-faith-community-church.html
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SOME women might know fetal development in great detail and KNOW exactly what they are doing. SOME women will go in for a 2nd, 3rd or 4th abortion. SOME women have been pregnant before and absolutely know that a living, growing human child is killed in their abortion. And they are happy and relieved about their abortions.
I am not talking about them. They are just as deceived though are they not? They are just as much in need of prayer are they not?
You have made a sweeping generalization that ALL women should stop claiming ignorance in this day and age. That I take issue with as I personally know women that have been forced, and coerced and abandoned and in their total desperation had abortions. Some had abortions that they didn’t want but in their fear they had them anyway. We didn’t know then what we know now. Blaming victims for their victimization is in a word….ugly.
It will never shine a light for the women that need to find their way out of the darkness.
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Carla: Please forgive me for the perception that I am not sensitive to women facing or who have had to face such a decision. I am. As I said, I have someone VERY close to me whom I love more than my own life who went through two abortions. I DO know intimately, but not completely, of what you speak. I am not making sweeping judgements on anyone. If that is the perception, please accept my sincerest apologies. All I am saying is thst in this day and age, with all the so-called education we have, it is amazing to me that many women claim victimization. I am not saying that you or many other women have NOT been victims…what I am saying is that there are so many who use victimhood as an excuse (for anything, not just abortion). I have been involved with a pro-life Crisis Pregnancy center locally for many years. I know firsthand the agony many women have after having had an abortion. I have shared many tears with women who have had to live post-abortion. I carry them and all others close in my heart everyday. I DO understand completely what you are saying in regards to the fear, anguish, and shame many women experience when considering such a decision and the resultant horror of what has happened after an abortion. I honestly cannot think of anything worse. I KNOW. I am not placing blame onto them for the situation they have gotten into. What I am saying is that human life is as stake here. My question is: At what point do we begin to take responsibility for our actions/decisions? We simply cannot go on with the present “culture of death” that currently drives our country. It frightens me to my very core. As I indicated, I know well the percentage of women who have suffered horrendously from the emotional, mental, physical and SPIRITUAL agony of having had an abortion. I would never, EVER want to be in that position. Please know that I am not tryng to be heartless. I think I have hurt you and my intention was not to do that. I did not use proper wording/verbiage to explain my point. Sometimes it is difficult for me to express in words what I feel in my heart. I am sorry. Instead helping you, I hurt you and others. Please know that I am sorry and I will do all I can to continue to educate myself further by accessing the websites you mentioned. May our dear and Blessed Mother continue to etch in your heart (and others) the Image of her Divine Son. God be with you and all the other women who have been victimized by the abortion mentality since 1973.
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You have a difficult time with the victim mentality in this day and age. Then that is your issue is it not?
You have not hurt me in the least. I have heard pretty much all there is to hear about myself in the 21 years since my abortion. Been called every name in the book and flipped off more times then I can count. THAT behavior has nothing to do with me. That reaction is their own to sort out.
I am trying to help you whether you realize it or not. There are women that need you. Hurting women that don’t need anything but a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on and a heart that hears. Truly hears. If you choose not to, I will be here. Standing in the gap offering to others what I have been offered.
I am praying for you Sister Terese. I am praying that your heart softens to those that truly need love and support and an offering of help to find their way out of a very dark place.
I truly understand the lament for a country that allows the killing. I lament it as well but choose not to blame post abortive women for it. I place the blame squarely on the evil one, the father of lies and the one that will ultimately be defeated in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Thank you so much for your honesty. I mean that.
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Carla: I thank YOU for your honesty. I WANT to help. That is my point. And, please know, I am not blaming. I know very well the father of lies…and that is precisely my point. he has done a good job turning our country into a mess. It never has been my intention to call anyone names or to not be acutely sensitive to their situation. That is not what I am about. Perhaps I should do better to just keep my opinions to myself…flawed as they are.
Thank you for your insight and YOUR honesty. You are and always have been a very precious and unique child of God and I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to “converse” with you on this very sad, and intimate issue.
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I am so glad you want to help!! You are needed in this fight!! Satan has come to kill and destroy and devour and abortion is his business. A covenant with death. We shall overcome him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony!! Revelation 12:11
I am sorry if I came out with guns blazing. That was not my intent at all. My passion gets the best of me and I apologize if I hurt your feelings in any way. I do know that there are post abortive women who read but never comment here. They email me, they reach out to me and that is why I can never stop yapping. :) I want them to know that I will be there for them if/when they need help.
God bless you, Sister Terese. I covet your prayers for me as I continue to tell my story and help women in abortion recovery.
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Heather: Abortion is what is offered because that is what women want. If women didn’t want to kill their babies there would be no need for legalization of abortion.
Sister Terese, do you think that it also goes the other way? That women want abortion because that is what is offered? Being an unexpectedly pregnant woman in our current society, you cannot help but feel that whatever hardships come about as a result of not aborting, they are and will be perceived as YOUR FAULT – not for getting pregnant, but for not aborting. After all, there was an easy solution. You CHOSE something else but that means you CHOSE to be on food stamps, to have no degree, to live with your parents, whatever. Who would “choose” that? (Heck, you don’t even just see this in women with unexpected pregnancies. Anybody who gets pregnant and happens to not be in ultra-ideal circumstances – private bedroom for each child, private college tuition already saving up in the bank, etc – is subject to scrutiny and judgment.)
When I was in college I began to lobby for greater accommodation for pregnant students or students with children. I did this as a direct offshoot of my pro-choice activism, after I began to see the hypocrisy of only caring about abortion rights; but I was largely alone even among actively and vocally pro-choice students. Many people told me that they did not want their “student activity fees” or whatever going to pay for, say, school-subsidized daycare. “If you decide to have a child, you should be aware that consequences come with that decision. If you cannot accept the consequences you really are not ready to be a parent.” No one ever blames your circumstances on having sex; they almost always implicitly blame them on having the baby. After all, you “could have just as easily NOT had the baby.”
If abortion was not a viable option, how many women would not thus want to choose it? Not even for reasons of legality but just for reasons of expectation?
I am not saying that abortion should be illegal just because it makes it harder to choose otherwise. I’m just saying – do you think it’s possible that there is something of a spiral effect when it comes to the legality of abortion?
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Alexandra, I think you have an excellent point. Great post.
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Alexandra,
What a wonderful post! Thank you. It has made me stop and think. :)
I LOVE that you tried to get on campus help for pregnant students and those with children!
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lets remember that the rabid pro death women have added to our bondage. they havent liberated us. ha what a laugh. to them its choose the career and be a shining star or have the kid and be a welfare mom who missed the boat. wow what a choice.~a career or a dead baby.
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Hey Carla – I believe I have talked about this here before, but when I was still in college I was active with a group of students who helped provide transportation to and from Planned Parenthood. This was something I felt really strongly about, due to some of my own experiences – I had had nothing beyond a local shot of anesthetic at the clinic I went to, because I needed to be in charge of getting myself home, since my partner, a new high school teacher, had his first parent-teacher conferences that day and couldn’t miss them. We were overwhelmed – he couldn’t make me feel better and we were struggling just to get by – and the low-income doctor I saw who said I would probably miscarry shortly was rude to me, and implied that my hyperemesis was just a reaction to being in a stressful situation. (Later I learned that this is one of the common dismissals of hyperemesis – that women are just subconsciously rejecting their pregnancy or their circumstances – but at the time I just felt so, so alone.) The people at the abortion clinic were the first people who were nice to me and supportive of me. I remember that they let me lay on the table in the room until I stopped feeling so dizzy; they didn’t rush me out and they asked how I was feeling, what I was feeling. Even though I had no strong emotions either way about my pregnancy or the complicated way in which it ended, I didn’t want anyone else to feel alone like that, to only feel supported at the very end. So I volunteered to help women like me.
One day a girl e-mailed and said that she thought she might be pregnant, but she did not want to go to Planned Parenthood. She asked if we could help her get to any other places. She didn’t know of anyone else to ask because she didn’t want to tell her friends what was going on, yet.
The general consensus in our group was that Planned Parenthood was the unbiased starting-point for sexual-health resources, but I felt hypocritical because I knew that if, for example, THE ONLY place anyone would help me get to was an organization who used my money to do things I disagreed with, I would feel very unsupported. And yet weren’t we supposed to be pro-choice? Support women in their efforts to make the right choice for them?
So I worked to include explicitly abortion-alternative methods of support. I kept contact info for a local CPC and offered it with the other information, etc. But I couldn’t really feel okay doing just that, because honestly if a woman needed help or just a hand to hold even getting to the CPC, her needs wouldn’t stop after that one visit. Unlike the women who chose abortion and ended things there, she had a long road ahead of her, one that universities are not often eager to help pave. So I began to view supporting motherhood (and fatherhood) as natural extensions of being pro-choice.
I didn’t really make many changes. But maybe I changed someone’s mind, at least.
This experience is why I sometimes ask people who volunteer as escorts what they would do if a woman they were escorting asked them to take her down the block to a CPC. Let’s say she was scared to walk through the protestors alone, or she was scared to walk past her boyfriend’s car, or whatever. Or if she just turned to them and said, “I don’t want to be here; can you help me leave?” If you are escorting women because you believe in helping them in a moment of need, you should not withdraw that support just because they are going in a different direction than you thought they would. Someone here – I can’t remember who – once responded that it’s ridiculous to insist that because a person volunteers at one organization, they have an obligation to help anybody get to any other organization. That they thought I was talking about “insisting” and “obligation” when I specifically asked about willingness, was answer enough. That is precisely the attitude my previous post referred to – “I’m pro-choice. Make whatever choice you want. I fully support your right to choose and I believe that you are responsible enough to be trusted with this decision. Oh, but if you make this one choice, you’re on your own! And if you need any support after making this choice, you really weren’t responsible enough to be trusted with that choice in the first place. Walk down the block and see if someone else will help you.”
“I will support you and help you! But only if you do what I like!” That is coercive support. That’s not always a bad thing. Support is not unconditional, like love; we use coercive support all the time, with our children and our citizens and our world as a whole. But we should be sure that we want to be coercing people, towards one thing and away from another. And we should be fully, above-the-table aware of what we’re doing, and why.
That’s what happened to me – someone asked me for non-coercive support – and I am proud of myself, that regardless of my politics I was more interested in helping women than in helping women get abortions.
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I believe women are strongly coerced to abort now more than ever. We have become nothing more than sexual objects by the ‘free love’ mentality. Men are used to getting their way and avoiding responsibilities and this has crossed into all areas: schools, churches, government, etc. If you are reading this CC, the ‘old boys club’ is much worse than it was before abortion became legal. It has also added the ‘old girls’ to its group — those female lawyers, social workers, religious, etc. who think that women are most of, or are the problem.
If someone tells you that they will kill you (and or your children or other family) if you don’t comply with what they want (and they have previously proven to you how dangerous they are by violent actions and threats with weapons), you have a very hard time making any choice other than what the abuser wants you to make. Many women who go to the system for help are again re-victimized by men who see them as nothing more than objects and blame them for being part of the problem as well.
I feel that many of the most vocal prochoice women have been so abused that they only feel safe on the side of the oppressors. Safer to stay with the devil you know rather than move on to a devil that may be worse. We need many prolife men in all areas.
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Sorry, I simply can’t drum up any sympathy for abortion providers. When someone is on the wrong side of an issue, they must live with the consequences. If they feel ostracized, they need to acknowledge that feeling, question why they feel that way and take responsibility for their own actions. No one else is responsible for how they feel. Unless they are sociopaths, their conscience is reminding them of the truth that abortion is brutally wrong and they know it. We all know it.
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