Satire: 8th graders squirm through screening of “The Miracle of Abortion”

Every year, there’s a lot of uneasiness when I show this video… I recognize it’s uncomfortable for kids their age to watch, but as they start to become aware of their own sexuality, it’s important they see what actually happens to the female body during abortion.

They’re going to have to learn about it some time…. And while they may find abortion unpleasant now, I always assure them that when they become sexually active adults and start thinking more about their own lives and children, they’ll realize what a true miracle it is.

~ Fictional 8th grade teacher Mrs. Flannery, explaining the necessity of screening a 45-minute educational video titled The Miracle Of Abortion, via the satire site The Onion, November 9

35 thoughts on “Satire: 8th graders squirm through screening of “The Miracle of Abortion””

  1. Though this is a parody story from a satire “newspaper,” the real story is that society has gone so far over the edge that ridiculous stories like this, and the Onion’s Atlanta abortion super center of last year, have plausibility.
    A true good lesson to teach in sex ed would be “these are the things that can happen to you with illicit sex,” and list jail for statutory offenses, show diseases, and the true cost to a woman’s psyche and body from abortion. Maybe like all teens they’ll figure they’re bullet and fireproof and dive in anyway, but at least you did your due diligence.


  2. Please explain to me what this is all about?!  I am speechless and in tears.  Is this REALLY being shown to students?  The last paragraph has me confused — it states:  Fictional 8th grade teacher Mrs. Flannery, explaining the necessity of screening a 45-minute educational video titled The Miracle Of Abortion, via the satire site The Onion, November 9 —     
    My heart is so heavy right now, this must be a very bad and disgusting joke.  Please explain.  This cannot really be happening?!  


  3. Hi Leigh, no, it is fake. It is satire. BUT remember pro-aborts have actually called abortion a “sacrament” so in a way, they DO think it is a “miracle”. 


  4. way back in Canada, a friend of pro-life and high school biology teacher used to use the film “The Miracle of Life” to explain human gestation.  It was without doubt, one of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen.  A fellow pro-lifer showed it to her pregnant daughter, who after seeing it refused to have an abortion.
    The film @1980 or before was on Canadian tv …. David Suzuki’s ‘The Nature of Things’


  5. Can someone tell please me how a person who considers abortion to be a miracle is ignorant about the humanity of the preborn and/or ignorant about the science of human development.  This view is not the result ignorance, this view is the result of evil, of loving freedom more than life and of loving the created mother more than the Mom’s and preborn baby’s creator.  

    Secularists, please explain the view of this teacher in scientific and secular language.     


  6. Jack, the article may be satire but the view it represents is real and exists in the real world.

    Jack, read anything by Peter Singer on the subject of abortion then tell me this view is satire.  Believe me, after reading it, you will wish it was satire.

    Also, a person only has to remember the two European doctors/bio-ethicists who have recently argued in support of after-birth abortion in order to realize this view exists in real life.  Sorry to burst your bubble Jack – but ignorance of the humanity of the preborn doesn’t explain why some people are pro-choice.      


  7. It doesn’t – some people do suck, some people are evil. (This is wrong – revised below.)

    But it does seem to leave you speechless which I think is rather unfortunate.  


  8. Actually, Jack it does change things a little bit.  I should’ve said – people don’t suck, and people aren’t evil – people do things that suck and are evil. 

    It means that the secularist viewpoint doesn’t have an understanding of evil and is blind to a certain extent to the workings of the human heart.     


  9. Tyler! I am speechless because this way of thinking is completely foreign to me. What is it that you want me to say?

    Stop lumping all secularists together, first off. It’s annoying. And second, maybe give secular prolifers enough respect to know that we wouldnt condone orunderstand this kind of thinking anymore than you would.


  10. Jack, I never said that secular prolifers condone this, only that they don’t have anything to say about it.

    Unfortunately, Jack sometimes we have to lump groups of people together.  It is a fact of life, and part of the way we use language.  I don’t think you have a problem with my lumping secularists together as you do with the fact that I have pointed out a flaw in secular reasoning.

    I would like secularists to acknowledge that it is wrong, morally wrong and that ignorance of the humanity of the preborn is not the only reason why some people are prochoice.       


  11. Lol, okay. If its cool to lump people together without regard for their individual viewpoints I am going to view all Christians as exactly like my parents. Boom.

    Where in the world do these “secularists” that you are talking about deny that some people are pro-choice even when they understand the humanity of the preborn? Like I said, some people just suck.


  12. Great explanation Jack. But I think we can take it further and be more charitable. We don’t have to say that these people suck (by the way aren’t you lumping all of these prochoicers together?). We can say that these people make bad choices, and that it is making bad choices that constitutes evil. When people don’t love things for the right reason and in the right order they “create” (for the lack of a better of word) evil. We should love eternal things more then temporal things, and we should love the gift of life itself more than the fruits of life such as freedom. However, if one doesn’t have a religious or philosophical outlook on life and denies these spiritual invisible realities we are left with simply saying that some people suck. Jack, more than me, you have lumped people together without any respect for their inherent humanity. These people are not condemned to “suck”, they have a free will and can change their ways.

    (This is the tough part of Catholicism Jack. Catholicism believes everyone (even baby-killing sadists) is always capable of conversion, repentence and forgiveness from God. The caveats in Catholic teaching are that this conversion must take place in this life, it must exhibit sincere contrition and if possible reparations should be made. The Catholic Church has the sacrament of confession to help baptized Catholics and non-Catholics with the process of forgiveness.)


  13. Think this satire is shocking?  The creepy dude who had that “savage love” column in some free newspapers is actually peddling a video and sex ed to real children that WILL stand your hair on end.  Truth is stranger than fiction.


  14. Yes, Christians can be lumped into a group that has a label, “flawed.”
    We are in theat group with the rest of the humans on the planet.

    In our group, another label can be applied: ‘flawed, but finally humbled enough to recognize how we are fundamentally flawed, and willing to accept God’s redemption of that flawed nature.”

    The ‘secular humanist’ view noted above – no bad people, just bad behavior – is a different way of viewing the world. That is what I used to think: we are all inherently good, and if only we could just treat each other decently, with a supportive culture not dominated by the big Blue Meanies like Mitt Romney, we could all go ahead and just be the nice people we are.

    If any secularist is willing to spend a few reflective moments, it will start to become apparent that this utopia just ain’t gonna happen, no matter how many random acts of kindness we do each day. There is evil in the world, and it is us.

    Like the Bible says, we devote effort to invent new ways to do evil, and cheer on those who come up with clever new ways.   Despite all of the ‘secular humanist’ effort in recent decades, this is true, and only getting worse. Read the daily newspaper to discover the variety of ways of ripping people off, neglecting and abusing children, exploiting the vulnerable, posting pictures of it on the internet, etc.

    It is a tough case to make that we are all basically good, and just mis-understood, or whatever the secular humanist explanation is for all of these beaten infants and exploited minors.
    I am listening, though, in case anyone wants to take a stab at it.   


  15. Absolutely show our young people what an abortion does to an innocent human being!!

    They are “mature” enough to have an abortion but not “mature” enough to handle the truth??!!

    And so many of my post abortive friends have the same response as I do…..I WISH I HAD KNOWN!!! 


  16. (This is the tough part of Catholicism Jack. Catholicism believes everyone (even baby-killing sadists) is always capable of conversion, repentence and forgiveness from God. The caveats in Catholic teaching are that this conversion must take place in this life, it must exhibit sincere contrition and if possible reparations should be made. The Catholic Church has the sacrament of confession to help baptized Catholics and non-Catholics with the process of forgiveness.)”
    Yeah. I don’t agree. I do not think that everyone is capable of “redemption”. It’s like how Jeffrey Dahmer converted in prison lol, it’s just bs. I don’t see why anyone would have obligations to forgive or trust someone who was a genuinely evil person and claims they are contrite. But I do respect your views even if I disagree.


  17. round and round …. Tyler and Jack – there IS a ‘hat’ for aetheists, even if Tyler doesn’t see it.  The hi-point of this ethic is beauty … yep, BEAUTY.  And it is a most-effective argument.  One that is used by modern environmentalists … ie. WHO is nuts enough to appreciate a ‘junkyard’ over the ‘Grand Canyon’?
    In pro-life terms, there is much beauty in a baby developing ….in a womb.  People would react with horror if they knew that much real beauty was being destroyed.  I saved one baby by this method back in 1985.


  18. Jack, watch out, someday someone may think that something you have done is not worthy of forgiveness.


  19. And that’s cool, Tyler. I would actually agree with them that some things I have done are not forgivable. It’s not an invalid viewpoint just because it’s not yours.


  20. John, I don’t deny that there is a hat for atheists, and secularists and even agnostics (just teasing JB).  I just think that hat is ugly and full of holes and should be replaced with a new better and more complete Catholic one!


  21. Jack it may not be an invalid view point but unforgiveness sure is harsh and unloving and does not jive with the human heart. The unforgiving position definitely doesn’t jive with a merciful and loving God.


  22. I liked it for you Tyler, buddy. ;)
    I only consider very few things unforgivable, btw. I am not horrendously cruel lol.


  23. Thanks Jack…but I was only joking.

    I know you are forgiving person Jack.  But dwelling on the concept of forgiveness might actually help you to understand religion, especially Christianity, if you are ever interested to do so.  It may also provide you with another fundamental reason as to why abortion is wrong.  Forgiveness is one of the things Jesus taught and thought was important.

    However, I think you know all this already.


  24. To answer your question, Jill:

    Because parents would be freaking out and literally storming the campus with blow horns and torches, that’s why.


  25. TheLastDemocrat – I was sort of making the case that people choose evil, and that it is their behaviour that is wrong. In case I may have mislead anyone I just want to clarify that I was not implying that human beings are inherently good, but that they are inherently redeemed.  We were originally created good, then fell, and now our human nature is corrupted with that original sin. I hope that helps clarify what I meant.

    By the way, I really liked your post and the question that you posed at the end.


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