Stanek weekend Q: Agree on what is and isn’t needed for baby?
BuzzFeed has listed the results of a poll question to parents on the worthiness of 21 popular baby items.
As an old school mom and new school grandma, I found the opinions fascinating.
Today’s parents and I basically agree on what on the market is eye-rolling and what is helpful – some tried and true, some new. We only parted company on wipes warmers. I feel bad using cold wipes! And on Boogie Wipes. I like them, too.
Read through the list and lend your thoughts! Here are a few…
Jan.10, 2015 9:34 am |
Weekend question |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
I was surprised to learn the new trend was no bumpers, no blankets, no toys, no mobiles. Good grief I never realized my children’s cribs were such mine fields.
The baby must feel like he’s sleeping in a drawer.
I had a high chair. A must for me. Also, just a plain old stroller. Put the baby in it and go.
Years ago my two nieces came to visit me at my mother’s with their infants. They came in seperate cars. Good lord, on the cell phones to each other, oh now she’s getting the baby out of the car, had to put the baby in a carrier. She’s trying to put the carrier on the stroller frame.
Fricking pick the baby up and bring him in the house.
I had a baby food blender this last time. The baby bullet. I LOVED it. I made baby food at home and it was more compact than my big ole blender. But thats just me. I never had a baby monitor though because the first time our condo was small enough I could hear my son crying easily. The second time I kept my son in the room with us because I was nursing. I’m thinking I’ll do that again with this third baby. I don’t think I’ll need a monitor though when I finally move the baby down the hall because babies cry so loudly. :-)
lol, Mary!
I am pretty minimalist with the baby stuff myself. I think it depends mostly on the baby so figure out what works as you go along. ie my cub hates swings of all kinds but has been obsessed with standing and walking since 6 weeks old, so we’ve never bothered with a swing but the walker has been absolutely vital for my sanity since he was about 2.5 months old – first he just stood in it and now he walks around in it.
I consider a good stroller a necessity too, since I walk more than I drive. I got a pricey, well-regarded brand/model used for less than $100 and it’s great. It handles all kinds of terrain well and collapses easily with one hand – no one can ever believe it when they see me collapse it the first time – plus it’s lightweight so that I can easily carry it up a flight of stairs with a baby in the other arm.
I don’t have a changing table. Nor do I have a dedicated diaper pail. I just use a regular lidded steel trash can. I don’t even know what a diaper-stacker is.
I don’t regularly use a baby monitor but I have one that someone gave me secondhand that I bring when I travel to other people’s houses. Our home is small enough that I can hear him from anywhere in it but when I’m visiting family it’s nice to not feel chained to “hearing distance” of the bedroom. It’s just a sound monitor, though; I see no real need for video.
As far as high chairs, I have one of those ones that clips onto the table. We use it at home but it folds up and carries easily so that we can bring it on the road or to a restaurant. I don’t really see the need for a bigger stand-alone chair, at least not now.
I do have a Babycook steamer/blender, also handed down from friends. I consider it worth it because it steams and purees the food all without any work from me, plus I don’t have a regular blender anyway. So this way when I am cooking dinner I can just throw a bit of whatever vegetable I’m cooking into the basket, press the button, and come back to it 15 minutes later to freeze whatever I just made. If I had a normal blender I probably would have felt a bit indulgent making room for a dedicated baby-food steamer/blender, but I don’t, so yay.
I love my Ergo. I don’t use it all the time – my baby has always preferred to “be his own person,” never liked snuggling down in the Moby wrap as a newborn even – but when I do use it, mostly in stroller-unfriendly places, it comes in very handy. ie yesterday I went on a caving tour, and it was nice to be able to just strap him to me and walk.
As far as baby shoes, I don’t own a single pair, lol. I do have a pair of these booties, which I think are all you need for like the first year: http://www.stonzwear.com/STORE/Shop-All/Toddler/Booties/Department.aspx?DeptID=90&AdID=300 They provide a waterproof, insulated snuggly foot cover, and they slip on like a big tube, then you adjust the bungees to make it into a “boot shape” so that it doesn’t fall off. I use them when we are in very cold places or when we are someplace chilly where my baby will want to stand on things (ie at a playground in the winter). They are kind of weird-looking but I don’t really care.
I am on vacation right now, after my first flight-with-baby. It was harder than before but not terrible. I think you make life more stressful for yourself when you buy into the idea that you need a billion different gadgets and items and wipes and gear just to comfortably survive with a baby. I packed for both of us in one suitcase (plus diaper bag and then my backpack with computer etc), gate-checked the stroller, and have not had any problems so far.
I do have to admit that I have occasionally considered taking the temperature of the bath water. I’m a freak and I take absolutely scalding showers – sometimes I have no cold water on at all – so the bath water always feels chilly to me and I end up second-guessing myself – worrying that it is too cold or then if I warm it up a bit worrying that it’s too hot. Then I remember common sense and just make it feel roughly lukewarm to me, and check to see if the baby seems visibly uncomfortable.
I guess my point is, I could see how almost any single “ridiculous baby product” might be useful to a specific person in a specific situation. If you have every single thing, it is probably overkill, but if you have one or two things that someone else might consider superfluous or ridiculous, you probably know your own situation better than someone else and there’s no reason to judge.
Oh and Mary – on “pick up the baby and bring it inside” – I have actually had people lecture me for not having my baby in a designated carrier at times! My little guy really does not like the baby-bucket seat. He HATES the car in particular, and will scream for up to two hours on a drive (that is with stopping to feed him, change him, etc, he’s always fine as soon as he’s out of the car – but always starts screaming again as soon as he’s back in) but I am convinced that part of it is just that he hates the recline-cradled position of the car seat. He wants to be sitting up and fights/strains against the belt in an attempt to sit upright, etc. So when we get to our location I often carry him and let him be upright like that rather than make him sit in a stroller, but push the stroller so that I have it for later on, when he is a bit more chilled out. I have had people stop me THREE TIMES and say that it is dangerous or warn me, “Be careful like that!!!” As if babies just don’t belong in someone’s arms, or something.
In the hospital we weren’t allowed to carry the babies in the hallways – had to put them in the bed and push them – which I can understand, given the physical and emotional strain of labor etc, the potential of medications, the liability, that sort of thing. But it’s like so many people seem to think that EVERYWHERE you go, at all times, babies should be in a designated baby-holder of some sort. I am sure that part of the problem is I look very young, so people think I am a teenage mother and make all sorts of insultingly negative assumptions about my ability to care for my own kid or make reasonable choices, idk. It is weird.
special wipes = NO! Use a regular wipe or a tissue or piece of cloth.
changing table = NO! it can be nice for a little while, but too soon baby gets wiggly and having him on a high narrow shelf becomes rather dangerous.
carrier/wrap = YES! keeps baby close and warm and your hands free to do other things. I’ve nursed my daughter in public with a wrap, none the wiser. And I couldn’t have managed doing laundry at my apartment’s distant facility without the wrap to carry her along with clothes and detergent.
Pee-Pee Teepee = NO! they fall off and don’t protect you from anything, or get wet and have to be washed. Just a gag gift for baby boy showers.
Diaper genie = NO! all they do is concentrate the stink. I toss diapers in with my bathroom trash and take it out once a week OR when it gets full/smelly
Nursing pillow = YES! my boppy made all the difference for comfortably positioning a tiny newborn. She also used it for tummy time and to help her sit up for awhile.
Anyway, just my $0.02 :D
Congrats to those with new babies (on the outside or on the way).
I’ve never even heard of a Pee-Pee Teepee and I have several sons. LOL I soon learned with the first one to hold the diaper over him for a minute or so AFTER I took it off and the air hit him. To me that was just common sense.
When he was born, older relatives showed me to test the bath water with my elbow (easy when holding a squirmy baby) or with my wrist (a bit trickier). The skin there is much more sensitive than one’s finger.
Never had a changing table because I didn’t want to spend the money on one. I used something else for that purpose which was much more sturdy.
We had a high chair which a relative had “bought” with S&H green stamps (if you know what those were, you are definitely not a millennial). We used it for years, then also got a clip-on one to take when we went out to eat.
A stroller was a necessity. A walker was too, from about 6 months on, as our babies were so active (some were extremely active even in the womb).
Used cloth diapers with some of my babies, dumped them out in the toilet if they were poopy, and kept them in a 5-gallon diaper pail fixed up with Borax and a drop or two of Clorox mixed in hot water until the pail was full and I washed them. No odor and they washed out clean every time. No need for any bleach in the wash, just gentle detergent and vinegar in the rinse.
A couple of of my babies had ultra-sensitive skin and I had to use disposables. I collected bread bags and put stinky ones in them before throwing them out. Never had any odor.
I used wash cloths and soap with the first two, then used wipes after that. Never needed to warm them, although I can see that would be very comfortable.
My mother-in-law had a collection of books written by Heloise, who had a newspaper column for moms back in her day, and there were innumerable money-saving and time-saving and life-saving tips in them. I wish I still had them. They were a great source of plain old common sense, plus a lot of wisdom.
Mary, I loved your first post. ;)
Sydney, CONGRATULATIONS!!! So happy for you. :)
Hello Alexandra,
I am always so happy to see you here and these posts are delightful.
A baby that doesn’t like a swing or riding in the car! Now that’s a first for me.
My oldest was such a fireball, and as soon as she woke up she’d holler until you got her out of the crib. No playing with toys in her crib (Good heavens, toys in the crib!) like her younger brother and sister would. So at 5am, or sooner, you were up, no if, ands, or buts.
I was lucky my children were good nappers and slept through the night early. I just set them on a pattern and they pretty much stayed with it.
To me a carrier was a nuisance. Just easier to carry them myself.
Hello Claire,
Talk about a walk down memory lane. I remember S&H stamps. My mother collected them. I was also given a book by Heloise when I got married…by my mom.
I used cloth diapers…with liners, which really helped. Dump them in the potty and used baby wipes. Thank heaven they had those instead of always grabbing a washcloth. And there was the big diaper pail.
Alexandra and Claire,
My husband made a changing table and my youngest rolled off of it! Right in front of me. Thankfully she was more scared than hurt. I was a total basket case and my husband had to reassure me she was fine.
You have to wonder how the human race survived this long without all these “necessities” and “safety requirements”!
This cracks me up … reminds me of all the “do we need this?” discussions my husband and I used to have. Changing table: he built an extension onto our bathroom counter. Crib: never. The babies slept with us until they were old enough for a mattress on the floor in their own room(s). (I know that would give a modern pediatrician the vapors.) Baby carrier like a Snugli: indispensable.
For the most part, we improvised and made-do, except for things like car seats. Grandparents did all the gadget-purchasing, bless their generous hearts. What the kids remember, though, are not gadgets but all the wonderful time their grandparents spent with them. Some things never go out of style.
A baby that doesn’t like a swing or riding in the car! Now that’s a first for me.
Me too. Alexandra, I meant to comment on this earlier. We had a swing for our first baby — an old-fashioned wind-up one — and he loved it. I’m not sure what happened to it after that. My husband was in the military then and we moved a lot. I guess it got left behind at some point. No matter, the younger babies were too busy playing with the older kiddos to need a swing.
Our children all loved riding in a car, which was a good thing since we drove long distances to visit relatives while in the military.
Mary, I vaguely remember that Kroger gave out Top Value stamps. But I don’t remember any stores giving out stamps once I was married. To quote good ol’ Charlie Brown, Rats! Just think of all the goodies we could have got just for buying groceries.
My husband couldn’t see paying good money for our boys to be able to reach the toilet when they were potty training, so he used some pieces of scrap lumber and made a very sturdy, very nice step stool for them. They felt like big guys because they didn’t need a potty. ;)
Sweet memories.
“A baby that doesn’t like a swing or riding in the car! Now that’s a first for me.”
Oh man, if I had a dollar for every person who told me that… lol I actually had to warn people in real life not to comment on it because the car in particular is actually traumatic at times and I thought I might scream at the next person who was like, “Oh, how interesting!” We drive 4 hours to visit family on certain holidays, and I spend most of that four hours in tears each time; it’s just awful. Everyone is always like “He’ll fall asleep eventually!” until they try it. My mom and I just had a three-hour drive from the airport to where we are staying, and by about 90 minutes in she was going totally crazy too. It is so awful! And very isolating – before I went back to work, I went almost nowhere that I couldn’t walk to, just because it was so stressful and traumatic. I felt so trapped!
He just likes to be in control of himself, I think. In his stroller (faces forward) he doesn’t sit back, he sits up perched on the very edge in a full sitting position. He doesn’t like traditional “baby-resting” positions. Here he is at 2.5 months: http://imgur.com/gaUPa2c already trying to get up and go. So I think that the way that the car seat (or swing seat) sort of cradles him in a recline, and moves him without his own will, really just drives him crazy. Drives ME crazy, that’s for sure. :/
Hi Alexandra,
Thank you for sharing his picture. He is just precious…and looks like one very determined and in charge little man. Never let anyone tell you babies are not born with personalities. They are. My three had three distinct personalities from birth.
And I thought my son was an early developer because he walked at 10 months! He rolled over around 2-3 months then would lay there and scream because he did not like being on his back. I had to pad him to stay on his side or tummy, which was how babies were supposed to sleep back then. Even that wouldn’t always keep him in place. He made me think of a little turtle who can’t roll back over. I think he was frightened by the loss of confinement. He always had to be held too. No setting him down to play with toys by himself.
This little guy is only 2.5? Unbelievable. He’s going to have you running!
You may be right, he just does not like the confinement and loss of control, especially since he does not like “baby positions”. It may be very frightening to him. That does make it difficult for travel though. Have you tried any soft music or a wind up bear when he’s travelling? That was always very soothing to my son.
Hi Claire,
Our family shopped at Wrigley’s and I remember my mother getting some kind of stamps…green stamps?..and putting them in books. Maybe they were S&H. I can remember when you would get a dish, glass, or towel in a box of detergent. I got my dishes from the grocery store, buy so much and you got a place setting, and they were nice ones too..still have them.
My son was afraid of the toilet so we got a little giraffe seat he could climb up on and sit. Only way to get him on it.
It was so cute. He was only about two and he walked up to his dad, looked way up at him and said very proudly…”I stands up and goes potty like you does daddy”.
Luckily with my third one she had her brother and sister to train her, which made them very proud. They taught her the basics and the rest was clear sailing.
Yep, he was 2.5 months in that picture, Mary! He is 5.5 months old now and can support his own weight and take little steps – can’t balance well enough so we have to hold his shoulders, but otherwise he treks across very short distances taking teeny wobbly little steps. In his walker he can go almost anywhere he feels like going. He’s very determined.
I agree with you that babies are born with personalities! My guy seems to only be interested in things he sees us doing. He rolled around 3.5 months but hasn’t had much interest in repeating it more than a few times, no interest in crawling. He wants to walk, and do other stuff that he sees other people doing. I make him spend time on his belly because I think that crawling is very important, but he hates it.
In the car I have tried white noise and various toys to no effect whatsoever. I did find a Pandora station that he likes (acoustic guitar music, basically) that can occasionally stave off a fit for maybe ten minutes, which helps if I’m just running a few errands. I am hoping that when I switch to a convertible car seat maybe he will like the feeling of that better, since it may be more upright and less cradled-feeling. Who knows…
Hi Alexandra,
I’m afraid it has been many many years since I used car seats so I don’t know much about the latest styles. Is there one where he can sit up more and observe around him? Maybe that would ease his anxiety.
I can remember when you would get a dish, glass, or towel in a box of detergent. I got my dishes from the grocery store, buy so much and you got a place setting, and they were nice ones too..still have them.
Mary, I never lived near a Wrigley’s (was that a grocery store, not just gum and a baseball field?), but I do remember my mother getting dishes, glasses, and towels from boxes of laundry detergent. Do you remember Dash laundry detergent? That’s the one I think had such things in it.
She also bought Tide and Cheer, and I don’t remember those things being in those boxes. But I could be wrong.
BTW, a friend has told me that a grocery store where she lived as a child gave out Gold Bond stamps. She said the store had a rooster as its logo.
Your story about your son was too cute. Two of our sons were also afraid of the toilet. ITA with you and Alexandra that children are individuals from birth, with their own distinct personalities. I never realized this until I had children of my own.
Our youngest son was so afraid, I allowed him to pee in the bathtub at first, as long as he could “ring” the drain and didn’t miss. He didn’t miss one time! Which was amazing. Maybe that’s a testament to how scared he was of the toilet. Interestingly, he potty trained in record time. He only had one accident at all.
I did get a little potty for him to poop in; it was a Fisher-Price model which later turned into a step stool which he used to stand on to wash his hands and brush his teeth.
For the other son who was afraid, the step stool which dear hubby made was enough to help him get over it.
Alexandra, your little guy is a busy bee! I had two like that. Could never turn my back once they were crawling. At that point, their nap time was my favorite part of the day. ;)
When he turns six months old, will he then be able to sit in a car seat which allows him to sit up straight? IIRC, mine did at that point. If so, that should help matters immensely. I hope it does.
Hi Claire,
Yes it was Dash! I believe Duz was the other. Maybe they competed.
I don’t know if you could get a full place setting, just the plate.
I can’t imagine fitting a towel in a box of detergent.
Yes Wrigley’s did have a grocery chain.
I love to share stories from when my children were little.
My adult kids now just roll their eyes and say “yes mom, I’ve heard that story a hunnnnndred times”. They are very tolerant of their broken down old mother.
BTW, isn’t Alexandra’s son just precious?? What a beautiful little boy.
Thank you, Mary :)
re: the car seats, I did recently buy one that seems like the most upright-sitting I’ve ever seen. He is just about ready to transition into it I think – the hard part will be upgrading the car seats in all “his” cars! (my mom drives him as much as I do – probably more – since she cares for him while I am at work.) I had planned on having a few more months to save up for that expense but with how much he hates the infant seats I think it is worth the surprise expense.
My dear your sanity is worth every penny. Go for it!!
I had planned on having a few more months to save up for that expense but with how much he hates the infant seats I think it is worth the surprise expense.
That sounds good to me! Maybe he could have got baby seats for Christmas? ;)
I agree with Mary. He’s a real cutie.
Mary, I had forgotten about Duz! Wow, that was a looooong time ago.
I have seen some of the old commercials on YouTube. Some of them are hilarious. Some make me nostalgic.
No, I don’t think detergent boxes had place settings in them – just one dish. I can see how that was a gimmick to get women to keep buying the same brand so they could complete the set. Not saying it was a bad gimmick (they did get a “bonus”), but I can see an ad man dreaming that up. If one guy came up with that, he probably made a fortune with other ad men clamoring for his ideas.
As I said, I could be wrong, but I believe some boxes did have towels in them – wash or dish cloths or hand towels or kitchen towels, maybe even bath towels. Makes you wonder how much detergent was actually in those boxes!
Yes, my kiddos have heard their share of my compilation of stories from when they were little. A couple of them now have kiddos of their own, and it’s amazing how things their children do bring back vivid memories of them doing those same things. It’s payback time. Just one of the perks of being a broken down old mother. LOL