How to get your girlfriend to abort

by intern Andy M.

"Dealing With An Unwanted Pregnancy" blares the title of the article on, a website which claims 7 million readers a month.

askmen.jpg has been criticized for the way it objectifies women with its "Top 99 Women" poll among other unfavorable facets of the site.

This particular article lays out a guide for men who don't want their partners to give birth to their preborn children. Written by a woman, Isabella Snow, it purports to be an inside look at how women think and act in such situations.

happy pregnant.jpg"For some women, getting pregnant can start clocks ticking and make them suddenly want to be mothers, despite previous agreements," warns Snow. In other words, she's not in her usual state of mind: you are going to have to do your utmost to convince her to deny new maternal feelings.

The entire article is geared against innocent preborn life and instead focuses on wants and lifestyles, primarily of the father....

Copious hints and suggestions are given to help the man make his partner feel relaxed and comfortable as he attempts to convince her that an abortion is the most favorable option. It's for a purely selfish motive: becoming a father could "put tremendous stress on a relationship, particularly if [he doesn't] want to have a child, but [doesn't] want to lose the girl, either."

harley.jpgThe third person in the relationship is brushed aside as a mere "issue of an unwanted pregnancy" which encourages men to treat the situation as if it is only themselves and their partner that need consideration: "Will you have to sell your Harley and get a station wagon?" asks the author.

Oh, what a terrible thought! Yes, clearly ending the life of your unborn child is more preferable!

Ultimately, according to Snow, if a man has made it clear he has no desire for the pregnancy to continue, he is freed from any obligation to stick with the relationship.

The only redeeming factor to the article is it suggests if mothers insist on allowing their preborn children to live, men should feel free to change their minds and embrace their future roles as fathers.


This is ridiculous...

Did something like personal responsibility ever exist? It certainly hasn't existed while I've been conscious, so I really have to wonder how far "it's called being an adult" has fallen.

Posted by: Vannah at July 3, 2009 4:27 PM

Having an abortion hardly "saves a relationship" as 66% of relationships fail after an abortion.

Men suffer post abortion grief as well.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at July 3, 2009 4:38 PM

This just goes hand in hand with the fact that at least 64 percent of abortions are coerced. How sad that this article explains how to effectively manipulate a woman into killing her child. Where's the "choice"?

Posted by: Bethany at July 3, 2009 4:58 PM

A better title: "How to be a wimpy man".
The second to last point is a real keeper.

"Stand by your decision"
"If you’ve followed all of these steps and your woman decides to have the baby anyway, this does not mean you’re required to get married or move in together. You’ll probably want to provide for your child regardless, but if you’ve been clear about your intentions from the start, you are not obligated to contribute beyond what your conscience and the law expects of you. This was her decision, not yours, and the bulk of the responsibility is now hers."

"Prenatal pros: Take a moment to spell this out for her when she gives you the final decision; it may just sway her over to your side."

It's difficult to imagine parenthood starting with this type of conversation, isn't it? If anything good comes of the article, it should make men and women think twice about the consequences of sex outside of marriage.

Posted by: Janet at July 3, 2009 5:19 PM

These are not men.

These are boys with penises.

Posted by: HisMan at July 3, 2009 5:43 PM

This is what we really need men discussing more ways to re-nig on their responsibility for their sexual behavior. Religate sex to satisfying your animal, primal instincts, women to objects meant for your sexual gratification and babies to unwanted and disposible "blobs of tissue" and "products of conception", unless you happen to want one and it is a convenient time in your life, then and only then "it's a BABY". People wonder why human life in the womb and out of the womb now has NO value, children are abused at will and a culture of death has permeated our entire society, even pets, wild animals and bald eagle eggs are more valuable and deserve more protection than babies, you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for killing them but human babies you have the "right to choose" if they die. Abortionist are applauded for being their executioners and are eulogized to be in "heaven" when they are murdered. The pro-aborts are definately the "Dead Babies R Us" crowd, if you want a dead baby they promise you will get one, even if a baby happens to survive an abortion and be born alive, they promise you will get a dead baby. Even the President of the United States voted 3 times in the Illinois legislature that every woman who wants a dead baby deserves to get one. God help this nation. Nothing is more sacred, more valuable and more precious than human life, we are just too selfish, too arrogant, sex-crazed and depraved to realize it. Stop the violence, America.

Posted by: Prolifer L at July 3, 2009 5:49 PM

Wow, how disgusting.

When I got pregnant outside of marriage, Oliver dropped everything to prepare for our marriage and fatherhood.

He sheltered me from all the people telling me to abort, and held me when things kept going terribly wrong.

That's what a real man does. He took responsibility for his actions and took care of us.

This article is beyond disgusting. It's thinking like this that perpetuates both abortion and disrespect for women.

Posted by: Lauren at July 3, 2009 5:53 PM

Yikes, do men really listen to this kind of nonsense? Had never heard of until today, it reads like a male version of Good Housekeeping!

Posted by: Anne Marie at July 3, 2009 6:01 PM

Bethany and HisMan I couldn't agree more. This has to be one of the most reprehensible and depraved articles I've ever read.
Is this what the women's movement has come to? Feeding our children to the abortion mill by further helping men coerce their partners? How can women be so incredibly stupid? Reinforcing men behaving irresponsibly and as boys?

Some really swell choice tidbits in manipulation:

1."If possible, have this conversation at home while sitting together on the sofa. ....since you're sitting side by side, the reduced eye contact will make it easier for her to speak openly.

(of course, we wouldn't want the man to look his partner in the eye and have her see that he's on a mission to kill their baby.)

2.You’ll also want to take care with your word choice; pregnant women tend to feel like they’re carrying someone, as opposed to something, even if she is just a month or so pregnant.Sensitivity is key. Toss words like “it” around too many times, and she’s going to start feeling like she needs to defend “it” from you. If you want her to really listen to you, paraphrase her own word usage.

Manipulation to the max. Of course if she uses the word baby, I wonder how he'll sell her on killing "the baby"?

3. If you don’t want to be a father, you have every right to come out and say so.

'xcuse me there but you already ARE a father - of an unborn baby. Too late.

4. Don’t just tell her you don’t want to be a father; some women aren’t going to consider that a good enough reason to have an abortion. A new baby means significant life changes: Food, diapers, medical care

oh I get it. Abortion is for serious reasons like lack of diapers.

5. Will you have to sell your Harley and get a station wagon? ...if you don’t want to be a new parent, these changes can be pretty overwhelming.

Yes, I remember having to get A STATION WAGON for ONE baby. It was so overwhelming when we gave up the HARLEY. Shallow, materialistic, selfish and pathetic is what this is. Good God.

6. You’ll probably want to provide for your child regardless, but if you’ve been clear about your intentions from the start, you are not obligated to contribute beyond what your conscience and the law expects of you. This was her decision, not yours, and the bulk of the responsibility is now hers.

True women's liberation: man gets sex. Man doesn't have any responsibility.
I am so mad I could just SPIT.
Shame on you "Isabelle Snow". You have sold out your sisters, you shameless hussey. :(

Posted by: angel at July 3, 2009 6:07 PM

Number 2 really upsets me. She is carrying around "someone" and that someone is YOUR child.

Words fail.

Posted by: Lauren at July 3, 2009 6:15 PM

I'm shocked that a WOMAN wrote this.

What sort of self-hatred leads a person to sell out herself? Her friends? All women?

And in writing this article, she sold out men and women alike.

This article is so insidious, in that it tries to make a rational argument, but the actual argument is essentially "stick around until she has that abortion, but then haul a$$ because the relationship is downhill from there anyway.... and if she doesn't have the abortion, the child isn't really yours anyway. It's hers. You wanted the abortion."

How can a woman make these arguments?

Posted by: MaryRose at July 3, 2009 6:17 PM

I was three months into my first pregnancy before anyone congratulated me--up to that point it was all pressure to abort and "you're life is going to be ruined!" That pressure came from my daughter's father and my military command (yup, and did I mention I was stationed overseas in a country where abortion is illegal? They'd "helped" others to abort, breaking host nation law and really overstepping their bounds).

You'd better believe I felt a need to protect HER from HIM, it was only during the pregnancy that I learned he had other dead children: it was his MO: all fun, no responsibility! Later into the pregnancy he would berate me whenever I would be emotional, saying, "Well, it's too late now, you should have aborted it!" I guess even he drew a fuzzy line somewhere.

Lauren, I'm so glad Oliver stepped up & was a real man. I've always said true strength of character comes out in times of pressure.

This article is absolutely disgusting and I find it hard to believe it was written by a woman. He already IS a father, just like she's already a mother. An abortion doesn't change that, it just makes you parents of a dead child.

Posted by: klynn73 at July 3, 2009 6:19 PM

How can a woman make these arguments?
Posted by: MaryRose at July 3, 2009 6:17 PM

because she's not a woman, she's a monster.

Posted by: angel at July 3, 2009 6:24 PM

Klynn, I'm so sorry that you had to deal with such a horrible situation during your pregnancy. I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would be advocating men treat the mother of their children in such a way.

Posted by: Lauren at July 3, 2009 6:28 PM

The author has bought the lie that women are objects. She would vehemently deny it, of course, believing she's "liberated" and fulfilled by such twisted views of women and men and sex. An abortion mentality is built on layers of presuppositions, and devaluing women is at its heart. Only when all women realize their true value as God intended, will all men be held to a higher standard. As long as there are women willing to write drivel like this, no one can dare say we've come a long way.

Posted by: klynn73 at July 3, 2009 6:46 PM

Thanks, Lauren. I've been more than compensated in knowing my daughter & I can assure anyone facing a really bad situation that it will pass! One foot in front of the other (for some reason "just keep swimming" from Nemo's running through my head :D)

I so wish I could communicate to the women & couples I see when I sidewalk counsel that what seems like a huge upheavel in their lives is TEMPORARY! That if in one year from then, if they came back having chosen life for their children, they'd never believe how much you love those same babies, that you'd do anything for them!

I've read more than one post-abortive mom's stories where she expresses a sincere desire for the man in her life to have just put an arm around her and say, "It's going to be okay. We can do this."

Posted by: klynn73 at July 3, 2009 6:54 PM

Posted by: klynn73 at July 3, 2009 6:19 PM

Klynn73 you are amazing and a wonderfully strong person full of character.

You have lived your beliefs!

Posted by: angel at July 3, 2009 6:56 PM

Hey boys; before you go around planting your one-eyed wonder willie where it shouldn't be, remember this: There is a REAL MAN in heaven who will hold your sorry butts to account for participating in the slaughter of His children. For this is what abortion is you wimps:

Abortion is an affront to the creative nature of God, it negates God as Creator,

Abortion denies the power of God to right a wrong, it negates God as Redeemer,

Abortion makes that which is good, the birth of human life, into that which is evil, the death of human life, and then calls it good, the very definition of blasphemy,

Abortion negates the resurrection power of God as it takes flesh that is alive in it's earthly abode (the womb) and kills it, while God takes that flesh which is dead in it's earthly abode (the grave) and desires to make it alive,

Abortion's desire is to take that which was composed from the chaotic array of elemental molecules into a symphony of life infused with an eternal soul, and turn it back to the entropy of randomness, chaos, nothingness, uselessness.

Abortion is against all that is hopeful, all that requires faith for success; for it's solution; annihilation, it's goal; death, it's dream; breaking God's heart, it's vision, Satan's ultimate power.

Abortion is a counterfeit, for the clawprints of Satan are everywhere to be found in its performance;

Abortion disguises hate as love, bondage as freedom, choice as maturity, sin as righteousness, political correctness as wisdom,

Abortion pits men against women, mothers against their children, fathers against God, Yes, abortion is Satan's feeble attempt at killing God Himself, for abortion is a metaphor for Satan; it is his coat of arms, his family crest, his logo, his brand, it belongs to him......for he laughs at its willing proponents as they craft their own self-destruction, mantled in self-deception.

Copyright 2007, 2008, 2009 by HisMan

Posted by: HisMan at July 3, 2009 7:00 PM

Angel, I was blessed to have a pro-life mom so we were all (7 of us, and no, we're not Roman Catholic :)) informed about fetal development and the truth of abortion. So even in times of life when I was not living right (I have 2 daughters, the second 9 years after the first, w/a pro-life Dad), faced with these pregnancies, I knew the truth.

HisMan 7:00 p.m., especially relevant to the article's female author is the "bondage as freedom" part of abortion's disguise. Whenever we see a complete inverse of truth (creation worshipped over Creator, for example) we know who's at work.

Posted by: klynn73 at July 3, 2009 7:17 PM

This article makes my stomach turn. Boys grow up!
If you have sex ad she gets pregnant well then thats the gamble you took. Live with it and GROW UP!

Posted by: AK Krystal at July 3, 2009 7:21 PM

Is it just me, or are pro-abortionists just more and more quiet lately? Where are the scoffing comments explaining how this article really somehow empowers women to have their men intentionally lying to them and choosing their wording in such a way as to coerce them into abortions?

Posted by: Bethany at July 3, 2009 10:40 PM

Just sickening.

Posted by: Abel at July 3, 2009 11:43 PM


Convince her to give the baby for adoption.

Don't coerce her to murder her baby.

Posted by: MaryRose at July 4, 2009 1:29 AM

This article could have been describing my biological father.He even let his 'mommy' convince him I wasn't his. Ironically....I am an almost EXACT replica of HER (no kidding. He has had nothing to do with me my entire life. My MOTHER chose life for me at 19..and she already HAD a toddler who was handicapped. My mother was my best friend(and I hers) for 41 precious years..she passed away suddenly 3 years ago this October. Thank You God for giving me a mother who put her own 'situation' aside, and chose LIFE.

Posted by: Pamela at July 4, 2009 1:38 AM

I guess if you think abortion is completely void of moral value, then this monstrous article would make complete sense.

Posted by: prettyinpink at July 4, 2009 3:44 AM

PIP: yes! But I'm also hopeful that many men would recognize how monstrous this advice is.

Reminds me of those guys 20/20 featured a number of years back who wrote a book and demonstrated to Baba Walters how they could go out and seduce ANY woman with their "techniques". Completely and utterly morally depraved.

Klynn73: I didn't know if you had any religious belief but I was referring more to your belief in your unborn baby being a baby and a person! :)
And yes since this article is filled with lies about the nature of the relationship between man and woman, mother and father and baby, and about the humanity of the unborn, we can conclude that this article reeks of satanic influences.

Posted by: angel at July 4, 2009 6:24 AM

Guys on here might want to check out:

although not specifically Christian, there are some good articles on "manliness" and sometimes some not so good ones.

And for the Catholic men there is

At least many men are trying even if some women aren't helping them.

Posted by: angel at July 4, 2009 6:55 AM

There are several states that are looking into No Coercion Bills in regards to abortion. It will become AGAINST THE LAW to try to coerce or force a woman/little girl to abort. An abortionist would have to ask a woman/little girl if she were being forced or coerced to have her baby killed.

Missouri, Idaho, Wisconsin, Arizona, the top of my head.

So, you "men" better check the laws in your state before you encourage her to kill your child.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at July 4, 2009 6:59 AM

After reading the article and doing a little background research on the author, I've come to the conclusion she's not utterly depraved, but may be a somewhat lonely, post abortive woman in her late 20's, early 30s.

By her own twitter admission, she said she'd rather spend time with the men in the female porn fantasy novels she writes than those she encounters in real life. If true, that's very telling.

She finds Nick Vujicic inspirational, which means she can identify a real man, and God is clearly touching her life.

She makes a living off of peddling porn, so obviously advocating traditional family values goes against her current ambitions, however if she found a man that truly and deeply loved her enough to die for her, I would imagine she'd rethink what was really important. Just a guess, but her father was either physically or emotionally absent from her life.

I can tell from her advice, she's never really been intimate with a man in a full sense, because rather than trying to connect at a deep level with her intended audience, she's merely pandering to their most base desires. She also has no clue about the violent anger that burns within men, otherwise she'd address that - and the anger can burn either way - coercion or revenge.

HisMan is right - any male can father children, it takes a man to raise them. And a nation of romping boyish sperm donors will never overcome a nation of real men.

She knows this, she just can't admit it.

Posted by: Chris Arsenault at July 4, 2009 7:31 AM

Chris: yes if you google her name, her blog says it all.
She's into porn so I guess I'm not surprised at her advice.
very good to have posted what you did Chris as it puts into perspective, her article.
I feel sorry for this woman and the fact that she views men as objects and women as objects who don't deserve respect and love - and this does point to a woman who hasn't been treated well by men and possibly by her own father.
ah, very sad indeed.

Posted by: angel at July 4, 2009 6:26 PM

I don't think most Americans think a pregnant woman is carrying someTHING..otherwise when I was very early pregnant why did everyone at work act so concerned for me...not allowing me to lift anything heavy, asking if I had eaten....and then when I was showing people let me cut to the front of the line at the supermarket, men actually opened doors for me! I think respect for life still exists somewhere inside people though it is being slowly eroded.

Any woman who has been pregnant (and even my friends who aborted can testify to this) you KNOW someONE is in there...the feel that there is a new LIFE in your body is UNDENIABLE!!!! Your whole body screams at you "protect the BABY!!!!!" every cell in your body, every molecule seems rewired and you can sense your new, very serious role of protecting and growing this new little human being. like I said, even my friends who aborted felt this, and after they aborted they knew they had committed a "terrible unnatural crime." Their words.

Posted by: Sydney M at July 5, 2009 12:49 PM

SEE, I told you so. Men want girlfriends to abort.

Birth and birth control are totally the woman's problem. Men and society blame women for pregnancy. It's their fault and their responsibility.

Told ya.

Posted by: hippie at July 5, 2009 3:32 PM

You're right. You know who's also to blame? The mothers and fathers of these boys who didn't teach them to be REAL MEN. They let the media be their teachers instead. These are your aborted grandchildren, people! How sad.

Posted by: Janet at July 5, 2009 4:14 PM

Bethany you are right with your comments on July 3rd, 10:40pm. The pro-aborts have been really quiet on this issue. No scoffers relating how "empowered" women are to be encouraged to abort by their boyfriends and how this article demonstrates that the "right to choose" has "freed" men from worrying about their sexual behavior. So they can gratify themselves, be a sperm donor when they want and if one of those unruly sperm start a pregnancy when they don't want a baby, teach them how to manipulate a women to abort.

Thanks Hisman for your wonderful wise post it is so true:

Abortion disguises hate as love, bondage as freedom...

Abortion pits men against women...

Posted by: Prolifer L at July 5, 2009 10:21 PM

She is a writer for money. Writers make money one of three ways.

1) write things so powerfully cogent that people will pay you for your thoughts.
2) write things so emotionally moving that people want to pay you for your stories.
3) write things so shocking that people read your stuff just to see how shocking it is.

This article in Askmen is now linked here and at Creative Minority Report. Guess which type of writer this woman is.

Posted by: Sherry at July 6, 2009 8:57 AM

Here is the comment I posted on the "askmen" web site in response to this ridiculous article. The part that makes it even more ridiculous is that the writer is a woman who is trying to help men push abortions on the women they impregnate.


This article ought to have been titled, "How to Manipulate Your Girlfriend Into Getting an Abortion."

How should a man REALLY deal with an unplanned, nonmarital pregnancy? Let me give it a whirl.

1. Be honest. The honest truth is that a child in the womb is a person who deserves human rights.

2. Don't be a big baby. Fatherhood is a possibility if you are sexually active. Rather than pretending the pregnancy is "her problem," accept it as the consequence of your own choices.

3. Act like a father. A father's role is to provide and protect. If a man has impregnated a woman, he should protect their child by strongly encouraging the mother to give birth. He should also offer his full support in raising the child.

Being a real man means taking responsibility.

Posted by: Stephen Hayford at July 6, 2009 10:30 AM

Thank you, Stephen Hayford!!

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at July 6, 2009 11:16 AM

That's disgusting. Snow should make a public apology to all women, especially pregnant ones, for objectifying encouraging men to manipulate them like that.

Posted by: Progo35 at July 8, 2009 3:41 PM

It enrages me how childish my generation is! Its so hard to find a 20-something man who doesn't view pre-marital sex as an entitlement and pregnancy as an inconvenient roadblock to getting his rocks off.

Sadly, it doesn't surprise me that a woman wrote that advice. The current "feminist" movement tells young girls that turning yourself into an object for horny boys to use and throw away is empowering. And if you resist the peer pressure to get drunk and let frat boys have their way with you, you're labeled a prude. AARG!

Here's my advice for men who don't want to be fathers: KEEP YOUR PANTS ON!!!
And if you can't wait for marriage and/or birth control fails, talk her into adoption. Don't kill an innocent baby because you were irresponsible!

Posted by: BB at July 9, 2009 2:03 AM

Standing at the cross-roads and not knowing whether I'm or not pregnant, and wavering between contacting the person with whom I had sex with, is not a walk in the park.

So after I googled 'dealing with an unwanted pregnancy' and found the article at the top of the list, I froze!! Further along the list I came across this article, which totally empowered me to have the courage to wait out the consequences of my actions, and not be overwhelmed of the fact that I "could be" pregnant.

Also, thank you to all the men that responded - I guess I mostly wanted to protocol all possible responses my partner could have given. After reading the article, I feel mostly prepared to counter any manipulative innuendoes on his part.

Posted by: Airz at July 14, 2009 7:32 AM

Pro-aborts don't respond because they don't care what other people think. They don't have to care; they have the field, the law, and just enough apathy in society to do what they want. Don't kid yourselves; nothing has really been accomplished in the 30+years since Roe v. Wade, and nothing will change at this rate. Everything else is just window dressing. Face it, they don't care.

Posted by: Ace at July 14, 2009 2:48 PM