Confessions of a self-proclaimed (and pro-abortion) "abortion addict"

impossible motherhood.jpgIrene Vilar is no pro-lifer.

About her upcoming book, Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an abortion addict, which tells the story of her 16 abortions in 15 years, Vilar writes on her web page:

Impossible Motherhood is committed to eliminating the stigma of abortion by creating new ways to talk about abortion honestly and publicly. It understands the complex moral decision making surrounding a pregnancy decision and how devaluing to women's real experience is any bumper sticker approach to choice....

The aim is to celebrate the transformative power of pregnancy and envision a world in which abortion is understood as a moral decision without stigma.

But Vilar seemingly says the opposite in a book excerpt published online...

My own account can't resolve the moral dilemma of my actions. Yet, I want to understand the spell a pregnant body exercised over me, my flawed desire to become someone, or something else.... My promise to the reader is to deliver an account of my addiction, a steady flow of unhappiness, the X-ray of a delusion, and ultimately, the redeeming face of motherhood.

vilar and daughters.jpg

Halfway through working on this book I got pregnant for the 17th time. I don't think I would have been able to give birth without the call to accountability and self reflection that writing this story demanded. My daughter became the coherence emerging from the shameful mass of 35 years.

Yes, I was an abortion addict and I do not wish for a scapegoat. Everything can be explained, justified, our last century tells us. Everything maybe, except for the burden of life interrupted that shall die with me.

Vilar's publisher is Random House, and the release date is October 6.

Vilar may say she does not intend her book to become one big pro-life talking point, but pro-lifers are really the only ones who can talk about it. I've checked the blogs, and although it's still early, only pro-lifers are writing about Impossible Motherhood.

It will indeed be impossible for pro-aborts to really say anything other than "Atta girl" when writing about Vilar at risk of indicting abortion altogether. There can be no difference between 1 abortion and 16, or there is something wrong with it.

To pro-aborts, abortion can only be another form of birth control. If it is anything more, they open a door they don't want to open.

And if abortion is safe, then 16 abortions are safe x 16.

If aborting one's child is no more mentally imbalanced than taking a bc pill, then a mother aborting 16 times is a psychological powerhouse.

Still, the ABC News article today on Vilar and Impossible Motherhood is full of evidence that there are consequences to the choice:

Although her personal history is unique, Vilar hopes through her painful memoir to trigger a public discussion on abortion and what leads women - even after the feminist movement - to use "procreation as power."

"Everybody is having babies, Hollywood has even developed some sort of motherhood fetish," said Vilar. "Yet, women are repeatedly told that they must be everything but mothers, everything but someone weighed down by motherhood."...

An American Psychological Association task force concluded that mental health problems are "not a direct result" of choosing to have one abortion.

But the 2008 report did note that many "confounding factors might indicate mental problems" in women who have repeat abortions....

Vilar's pregnancies became compulsively self-destructive: After her 9th and 10th abortions, she "needed another self-injury to get the high."

"In the beginning I was taking pills and I'd skip a day or two or give up one month," she said. "I'd think I'll be better next time. But slowly, my days took on a balancing act and there was a specific high. I would get my period and be sad, then discover I was pregnant, being afraid, yet also so excited."

Vilar said many women who have repeat abortions show a certain "recklessness."

Such was the case with Mary, a FL college student....

"I felt like we were committing murder, that I was killing something that I wanted," said Mary. "I felt like I should feel the pain. I wanted to physically suffer."

After 3 abortions, she was left with lingering health problems and her doctor suggested she might not have a child again.

"When I was 21, it seemed easier," she said. "It was. It has a lot to do with my mental state about the situation. It feels like there is no healing for this."

Vilar, too, was warned by her doctor that she might never carry a child to term.

Women who have had multiple abortions face a potential risk for cervical damage and uterine lesions which can compromise future pregnancies, according to Dr. Louis Weinstein, chairman of the department of obstetrics and gynecology at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia....

In Vilar's case, her 17th and 18th pregnancies were healthy ones, and her daughters are now thriving at 3 and 5....

Her story is a reminder that more needs to be done to educate women about the proper use of birth control and providing better access, according to Dr. Lauren Streicher, clinical assistant professor at the Northwestern University School of Medicine.

[JLS comment, Oh, please. There was no post-abortion instruction at mills after abortions, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, and 16? She left the place with no month's supply of birth control pills each time?]

"This book really isn't about using abortion as birth control," she told ABCNews.com. "She is unconsciously sabotaging contraception for self-mutilation. It's a way of escaping feeling empty."

"It's an interesting book and she writes beautifully," said Streicher, who hosts the nationally syndicated radio show for medical professionals, Reach MD. "But by her very admission, she is a psychologically disturbed woman."...

But Vilar blames much of her poor choices on a hypersexualized society that at once values the perfect mother, but also expects women to be sexually attractive to men and to achieve professionally.

"Women have a deep need for agency, for purpose and direction and society is not providing natural and healthy channels for creative action," she said.

"In school and on TV, every message I get is what I am doing as a mother or wife is wrong," said Villar. "I should be thinking about a profession and not mothering. Everyone is having babies, and yet they don't want to care for them.

"Are many of the repeat abortions in part an embodiment of this mixed message? A lost, ambivalent attempt at an act of agency that cannot find its proper vessel? "

[HT: moderator Jasper]


Comments:

WOW. Ugh...I am just stunned.

I've always wondered why my pro-abort friends are totally okay with one abortion, MAYBE 2, but it you need a third? Well, they want to beat you up. whats the difference between one and 16, truly? If it doesn't destroy a unique, defenseless child then who cares how many blobs of tissue you have removed from your uterus? especially since its just sooooo safe!

In Theresa Burke's book "Forbidden Grief" she talks about this syndrome of repeat abortions. Some women abort over and over to punish themselves for their first abortion and also to prove to themselves it doesn't hurt.

You'll find a lot of clinic workers are also post-abortive. Helping other women choose abortion makes them feel less guilty about their own.

This is just so sad. It breaks my heart. Why don't we as women say "ENOUGH!!!" Motherhood is NOT EASY, but its so WORTH every sacrifice! My son has hugged me five times today and told me I'm his "bestest mommy". I don't ever recall getting that much frequent positive feedback from my boss when working.

Posted by: Sydney M at September 21, 2009 11:24 AM


I'll just repost what I said in the QotD.

This woman is a serial killer. She gets the same sort of high from abortion that a serial killer gets from killing a prostitute. Her book should be viewed from that perspective.

She is not a woman forced into a horrible situation who chooses abortion after being lied to by PP. She got pregnant on purpose so that she could have abortions. How completely disturbing!

Posted by: Lauren at September 21, 2009 11:24 AM


Don't buy her book!!!

This is by now a very common pattern of writing something only pro-lifers will buy, but the individuals who produce such works have not changed at all. It's like rewarding their deliberate sob stories.

Don't vote for her with your $$$. It sends the wrong message.

Posted by: Chris Arsenault at September 21, 2009 11:29 AM


Imagine being surrounded by 16 of your own children on judgment day, all standing as witnesses against your cruel bloodshed.

Posted by: Nathan at September 21, 2009 11:30 AM


I'm looking at those two gorgeous girls in her arms and wonder, "Are they safe?"

I haven't read the book, so I'm going to withold further opinion.

Posted by: carder at September 21, 2009 11:35 AM


On her website she opined that pro-lifers have "anti-life sentiments" for not supporting contraceptive education and making sure contraceptives are readily available.

Then a few paragraphs down she talks about how many women who have 3 or more abortions are already using contraception. So to her, I ask, "do you see how stupid your argument is?"

Dependence on birth control fosters and anti-child attitude and when contraceptives fail (my son is proof that they do!) a lot of people get abortions to "solve the problem."

The problem is not the child, it is our attitudes. period.

Posted by: Sydney M at September 21, 2009 11:37 AM


My own account can't resolve the moral dilemma of my actions.

Moral dilemma? What moral dilemma Irene?

If you don't defend the life within you, and you fully reject motherhood, then the only philosophical ground left to stand on is that "might makes right" and so any and all violent actions are not only permissible, they are completely void of any morality whatsoever.

As for the American Psychological Association's statements - they simply reveal their bogus science, and irrationality in the name of political profiteering - which is a sign of utter depravity.

They should be ashamed, but as with the criminally insane, such reprimands would be unheeded.

Posted by: Chris Arsenault at September 21, 2009 11:38 AM


I agree with Chris--don't give her the royalties for this book. She's unrepentant for the murders of these children.
Go to the library or buy it used.

Posted by: Corrina at September 21, 2009 11:41 AM


"It will indeed be impossible for pro-aborts to really say anything other than "Atta girl" when writing about Vilar at risk of indicting abortion altogether."
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?

"I don't ever recall getting that much frequent positive feedback from my boss when working."
And when you do it's not really the same...

"This is by now a very common pattern of writing something only pro-lifers will buy, but the individuals who produce such works have not changed at all."
It is like the man who made up "Christian Salt" and predicted it would sell well in the Bible Belt. Just because something mentions a word or rhetoric doesn't mean it is actually truthful.

Posted by: A Woman at September 21, 2009 11:53 AM


What a repulsive story.

I was struck by the look for her daughters' faces in the picture. The little one looks so worried and the other looks sad. How weird to choose that picture as a portrait. She is the only one smiling.

Posted by: LB at September 21, 2009 12:05 PM


Shocking, but sadly not surprising in our society of do what feels right/good for you and you alone. The world would mock her if she had 18 kids (the ones she now has plus the ones she killed) yet will praise her for having had 16 abortions? It is not a world I ever care to comprehend. Repentance, pure and simple is the only solution, not blaming anyone else, pushing a abortion agenda -- or selling books.

God have mercy on us - especially all the unwanted children!

Posted by: elizabethk at September 21, 2009 12:08 PM


wow..I have to say I am kind of shocked at the judgment on some of these comments.

while I in no way condone this woman's abortions, I also can recognize her traumatic childhood and understand how she came to this place. Maybe if we loving gave her understanding and the mercy of God without condoning what she did, we would be able to change more hearts.

You can clearly, in spite of what she says, hear regret for what she did. The book is an attempt to keep justifying it, or in her words take away the "stigma" which we all know she will never be able to do.


Let those of you without sin cast the first stone.

Posted by: Teri at September 21, 2009 12:16 PM


The sixteen abortions may come back to haunt her if she ever develops breast cancer (especially if there's NO FAMILY HISTORY).

Posted by: LizFromNebraska at September 21, 2009 12:32 PM


well said, terri.

angele

Posted by: angele at September 21, 2009 12:37 PM


She was sad when she got her period but excited when she got pregnant, so she could have an abortion? Oh, and she was popping pills the whole time?

Charles Manson didn't do the dirty work himself but even at that I think his followers killed 9 people.

Jeffrey Dahmer killed 17 people.

This chick serially murdered 16 of her own tiny babies for fun.

And why does she think her book will remove the stigma of abortion? How do you remove stigma from the act of killing your own child?

Posted by: Amy Philo at September 21, 2009 12:42 PM


Teri, as long as she keeps trying to justify it to herself, she is hurting herself.

And anyone who does not condemn what she did is hurting her as well, by allowing her to continue in her delusion that she is somehow a victim- when she victimized 16 people.

She purposefully got pregnant and aborted 16 babies in a row.

I don't feel sympathy for child abusers because they had a rough childhood- they had a chance to grow up and not repeat the cycle that hurt them so badly- so why should I feel sympathy for this woman who made a choice 16 times to kill her babies, knowing fully well what she was doing? And not only that, but she intends to continue justifying it to other women in her book, to promote more abortions and ease her guilt!
That won't work!

The only way this woman is EVER going to find peace is by admitting that what she did was wrong, repenting of it, and turning to Christ for forgiveness. Only then will she be free from the pain that she has brought upon herself.

Posted by: Bethany at September 21, 2009 12:44 PM


I just keep putting her next to the Duggars. I wonder what she would say to them....

Posted by: Peg at September 21, 2009 12:46 PM


Oh my goodness. This woman IS SICK. I cannot fathom this. She's obviously an ignorant person & has mental problems if she couldn't figure out how to take birth control. What she should've done was get fixed or just kept her legs closed. This kind of thing is just sooo sad and now she has the nerve to write a book about this glorifying it? This is nothing to glorify or pat yourself on the back for.

Posted by: Sarah at September 21, 2009 12:54 PM


She had birth control. She purposefully did not take it properly because becoming pregnant so she could have an abortion was her desired outcome.

This woman is like a train wreck.

Posted by: xalisae at September 21, 2009 1:03 PM


cute kids

Posted by: Hal at September 21, 2009 1:04 PM


Hal, it's a shame she'll never know what those other children would have looked like or what kind of personalities they had. It's also a shame that one day they will know about the fact that their mother conceived and killed so many of their siblings on purpose- they will eventually come across that book. I know siblings of aborted children and know how devastating it is to them, having to live with the fact that their siblings have been killed.

Posted by: Bethany at September 21, 2009 1:11 PM


Also, they will never be able to trust that she truly loves them, when they realize what she has done. It was only by random chance that they were given the chance to continue living. Those two cute kids could have been her 17th and 18th abortions, easily.

Posted by: Bethany at September 21, 2009 1:15 PM


I am in total shock. 16 abortions? 16.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 21, 2009 1:26 PM


Sounds like this woman was finding the most painful way to self-mutilate and unlike most cutters, this one just happened to kill 16 of her children. Like all cutters, she's deeply disturbed and unfortunately doesn't see that it wasn't just herself that she mutilated.

Posted by: Jacqueline at September 21, 2009 1:45 PM


And this wasn't a woman just having abortions everytime she got pregnant. This was a woman getting pregnant (like self-mutilators get their scapels) for the sake of hurting herself. So we shouldn't be surprised that they number is so high.

Posted by: Jacqueline at September 21, 2009 1:49 PM


While this woman had access to and was using birth control at the times of her abortions, she was not using the birth control consistantly and correctly, although it is clear that by the outcome of her decisions that she was not in the right position to have children. Perhaps subconscious she sabataged her birth control knowing she could become pregnant again. This really sounds like Replacement Baby Syndrome which is frequently commen in women with Post-Abortion Syndrome...

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 21, 2009 1:49 PM


This physically hurts. God help her.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 21, 2009 1:51 PM


wherein she secretly (or not so secretly) desires to become pregnant again to atone for or replace the pregnancy and baby lost in her prior abortion, only when she does become pregnant again and reality sets in and she realizes she's in the same situation and having a child is still not feasable, it's back to the abortion clinic and the cycle of self-abuse, self-hatred, and blame begins again. What this woman needs...

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 21, 2009 1:58 PM


isn't to go to church and repent (and I know there are many of you who will disagree with me) or condemnation or made to understand what's done, but rather I think she may need to see a professional mental health counselor as I definately think there are some underlying self-esteem and self-worth issues going on there and she's going to need help to break the pattern.

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 21, 2009 2:07 PM


I think this would have made a better cover:

Posted by: Cranky Catholic at September 21, 2009 2:10 PM


isn't to go to church and repent (and I know there are many of you who will disagree with me) or condemnation or made to understand what's done, but rather I think she may need to see a professional mental health counselor as I see her behaviors and feelings about pregnancy and not being pregnant as symptoms of something greater, of underlying self-esteem and self-worth issues going on and she's going to need help to break the pattern and to be able to heal.

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 21, 2009 2:11 PM


Hal, I agree--those little girls are beautiful.

This woman needs mental help, and the forgiveness of Christ. I pray she seeks both.

Posted by: Kel at September 21, 2009 2:44 PM


I can dredge up as much sympathy for her that I can for any other serial killer.

Yes, she was obviously mentally disturbed. All serial killers are, or they wouldn't be serial killers.

That doesn't make what she did any less horrific. I'm not going to sugar coat it. She needs serious help. I honestly think that she is the type of person who could kill a born child (or adult) unless she gets some serious intervention.

Posted by: Lauren at September 21, 2009 3:10 PM


This sounds totally bizarre.

Who would buy this book?

Posted by: Phillymiss at September 21, 2009 3:17 PM


I am speechless and cannot even coax a tear.

Posted by: Phil Schembri is HisMan at September 21, 2009 3:25 PM


Posted by: Teri at September 21, 2009 12:16 PM
-------

Teri - Telling people to refuse to purchase a book doesn't cast judgement upon Irene. If the book falls flat with little sold, then that would speak volumes that her position on abortion is inaccurate/non-applicable.

What Irene is attempting to do is muddy crystal clear waters. When it comes to the morality of abortion, it is wrong. It is morally wrong to kill innocent human beings and scientifically we can prove the unborn are human beings. As for the violent discrimination against them because of size, level of development, environment or degree of dependency, there is no difference between them or any other human being.

Learn BioSLED:

www.thrufire.com/blog/2009/02/biosled-anti-abortion-argument/

Irene is welcome to God's gift of grace - but her unrepentant attitude towards life is not.

Posted by: Chris Arsenault at September 21, 2009 3:28 PM


She does seem to need prof help. But when the medical community denies the existence of PASD and the like, how can she get that help? Maybe she wrote this book a little too soon. In time, I think and hope she'll accept the reality of what's happened to her and what she's done. Pray for her. Pray everyday. Jesus wants her heart. She has enough mourning publicly present to show that she being worked on by God. It takes time and prayer.

Posted by: Jocelyn at September 21, 2009 3:42 PM


Rachael C., I agree that she's got mental health issues, but when something's broken, the One who made it is the authority on fixing it. Healing without God's forgiveness? What does that look like, I wonder?

She says she doesn't need a scapegoat. I wonder if she understands the origin of that word and its concept? I need a scapegoat, we all do. No one can bear the weight of sin themselves. "Sin" is, by definition, going against the way God originally intended us to be. Think Garden of Eden, no death, walking with God in the cool of the day sort of perfection. I'm sorry if some terms turn you off, but repent is simply saying sorry and purposing not to turn back to the behaviors you've just apologized for. Healing only happens by discerning the root of the problem. She may be on the path there and I don't doubt her two living girls help to get her aimed in the right direction, but considering what I've read so far, she's likely to find "professional help" that will only echo and reinforce her same rudimentary and disastrous conclusions.

Posted by: klynn73 at September 21, 2009 3:47 PM


Sorry, my bold was just for the first word "I".

Posted by: klynn73 at September 21, 2009 3:50 PM


I just grateful God causes the rain of HIS mercy to fall on the unjust.

HIS grace is sufficient.

The sufficiency of HIS grace is not strained.

The healthy do not need the Physician.

Where sin abounds HIS grace abounds more abundantly.

The blood of Jesus overcomes the power of satan.

The only authority the bent one has is the authority we allow him.

Let us not join the father of lies in cursing and condemning one for whom Jesus gave HIS life.

We were all once vessels of wrath deserving of destruction, but now by HIS grace and love we have become vessels of mercy.

Remember who and what you were when HE came to you and embraced you with HIS love.

Not many of you were noble or wise or rich, rather you were beyond the covenant and without hope, the outcasts of society, but HE lavished HIS love upon you simply because HE loves you. Do not think you in any way earned his love and affection.

LORD bless this woman and her children, show forthe the greatness of YOUR love, mercy, faithfulness, redemption and restoration in her life. Show her the ONE whom she has pierced. Save her O LORD and her children and her children's children to a thousand generations.

What the bent one intended for evil O LORD work it you YOUR and her good. She who is forgiven much, loves much. LORD you drew Mary Magdalene to YOU by your love. A prostitute washed YOUR feet with her tears and anointed them with fragrant perfumed oil.

Show YOURSELF might on her behalf O Jesus!

yor bro ken

Posted by: kbhvac at September 21, 2009 5:54 PM


The thought of this woman and her book, the sight of her gorgeous children..it's like a knife in my heart. Here, I've lost three babies, and PRAYING that I might be pregnant again(we have ONE precious child who survived), and this woman gets 18 chances? It just HURTS...that's all I can say.

Posted by: Pamela at September 21, 2009 6:22 PM


I would not buy the book because of her unrepentative attitude and how I think it will promote abortions. This is really sick and I do worry about her. I wonder if she has had to hide knives from herself to stop herself from hurting her daughters especially when they were babies? I have heard of women with Post-Abortion Syndrome who did this and were even afraid to be left alone with their babies. Wonder if she would ever admit it if she did? Probably not. The pro-aborts would go crazy.

Posted by: Prolifer L at September 21, 2009 6:28 PM


Being as I am pro-choice and don't consider abortion murder, I really can't condemn this or see it as anything but a very strange sexual fetish. Some people get off with bondage, some people get off with rubber dolls or dildos, and... some women get their sexual thrills from repeatedly getting pregnant and aborting. Okay, whatever.

Posted by: Ted at September 21, 2009 7:08 PM


16 abortions? PROVE IT.

My gut tells me this Vilar woman is a liar who wrote a book for profit and also to get her 15 minutes of fame through television.

Typical addiction story with a new "twist".

Posted by: Marie at September 21, 2009 7:35 PM


oh yeah, and before everyone gets crazy condemning this broad, think about the entire set of circumstances for a moment:

She ran away (pretty much) at the age of 15 and started "a relationship" (read that as "being molested") by a 50 year old professor of hers that viewed children as nothing more than an impediment to sex.

You think that maybe her molester/husband forced the first few abortions perhaps?

Ugh. What a disgusting story, all around.


Also, Ted, you're a monster. I hope someone wouldn't have your ambivalent attitude towards people dying if they had the ability to save your life and you were trapped in a burning vehicle.

Posted by: xalisae at September 21, 2009 7:53 PM


Look at that the gifts God has entrusted to this Mother. He chose her she accepted the appointment Lets all pray she seeks His wisdom in raising these children in the way they should go. We all have a past but when confession and repentance are at work think of what God can do. Come on brothers and sisters in Christ. Abortion should not destroy women too. Pray for healing in the arms of Jesus. This healing can touch more lives than we can imagine. Praise God in everything. He deserves it.

Posted by: Sheryl at September 21, 2009 8:28 PM


Klynn, if you'd like to see women healing from abortion from a comprehensive approach (spirituality being just one component), visit the PASS Support Board. It's a long and difficult journey, but the many women there are all in different stages of healing, some have even found closure and complete healing.

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 21, 2009 8:43 PM


Klynn, if you'd like to see women healing from abortion from a comprehensive approach (spirituality being just one component), visit the PASS Support Board. It's a long and difficult journey, but the many women there are all in different stages of grief and healing, some have even found closure and complete healing, their abortions will always stay with them, but they reach a point where they can cope with their feelings in healthier ways and can move on with their lives.

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 21, 2009 8:48 PM


And many no longer wonder about the child that could of been.

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 21, 2009 8:52 PM


Ted, you're disgusting.

Posted by: Lauren at September 21, 2009 9:06 PM


I'm disgusting? A monster, even? Isn't that a little extreme? I didn't say this is wonderful. In fact, I noted it as very strange. But I am pro-choice and so I'm not going to draw a line in the sand and say that one, two, or maybe three abortions is fine but 16 is too many and wrong.

Posted by: Ted at September 21, 2009 9:32 PM



Gee, I thought we just had to "educate" women on reproduction and birth control to reduce abortions. It must be that this woman is blissfully ignorant of reproduction and contraception, or else her pharmacist won't sell it to her, or she just can't find it, or she just can't afford it. That explains it! It certainly can't be that some women simply take no responsiblity to prevent unwanted pregnancy in the first place.

Posted by: Mary at September 21, 2009 9:37 PM


Ted,

I think I see your point. Can it be argued that one or two rapes are acceptable, but 16 are not?
Mugging one or two people isn't as bad as mugging 16 or them? Would we tell a woman at the domestic violence shelter, "well, he only beat you two times, anything more than that is cause for concern".

PC people certainly can't pound their chests in self righteous indignation over this and Ted isn't.

Posted by: Mary at September 21, 2009 9:45 PM



This is like the sex selection abortion quandry faced by feminists. Sorry ladies, you can't have it both ways.

Posted by: Mary at September 21, 2009 9:53 PM


Taking a human life is just a weird sexual fetish, says Ted. Bundy IS dead, right?

Irene Vilar sounds like one of the most psychologically damaged people I've ever heard of, and I've heard of quite a few, believe me. I predict that she and her children will have a difficult relationship once they're old enough to read and understand her book. The horror of this whole situation is stunning.

Posted by: Marauder at September 21, 2009 10:05 PM


Hi Marauder,

Yes thankfully Bundy is dead but serial killing is alive and doing well. Unlike Bundy, this woman is LEGALLY satisfying what may indeed be some perverse sexual fetish. As revolting as what Ted says is, he may indeed have a point.

I think Vilar, like the women having sex selection abortions, is putting feminists and the PC side in a quandry. How can it be said that abortion for any reason except sex selection is perfectly fine? How can one argue for "choice" but deny the choice to women who don't want a female child? What number of abortions per woman is acceptable and who will draw the line?

Feminists, you should have been very careful what you wished for....when the gods want to punish (wo)man, they answer their prayers.

Posted by: Mary at September 21, 2009 10:28 PM


Ted......

To be able to talk about abortion as if it were similar to washing your face is indeed sick.

Let me ask you this. How many puppies' heads would be OK to crush before you rise up in protest and outrage? 1....2.....5.....100?

Abortion is murder man and if you are pro-choice you are a partaker in that horror. 1 is murder, 2 is murder and 16 is murder, 53,000,000 is murder. Every single one will be recompensed for.

The amazing part is that we allow it without so much as a peep.

Posted by: Phil Schembri is HisMan at September 21, 2009 11:35 PM


Hi Rachael C.

"And many no longer wonder about the child that could have been."

Is that the goal of counseling, in your opinion? And how do you know they never wonder?

I see nothing wrong with ALL of the approaches to help women cope with abortion grief and regret. Jesus can and does heal.
************************************************************
I can't stop looking into the two little faces of the abortion survivors and wondering Why them? Why did they get to make it? Out of 18 pregnancies these two were the chosen ones.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 22, 2009 2:02 AM


Posted by: Ted at September 21, 2009 7:08 PM

"I really can't condemn this or see it as anything but a very strange sexual fetish. Some people get off with bondage, some people get off with rubber dolls or dildos, and... some women get their sexual thrills from repeatedly getting pregnant and aborting. Okay, whatever."

-----------------------------------------------------

So Ted, what is your inflatable friends name?

Bruce or Brenda?

yor bro ken

Posted by: kbhvac at September 22, 2009 7:14 AM


I have lost two babies in a year's time after successfully having three children previous to that. All I wanted was one more child to complete our family and I get two heart breaking losses. This woman gets rid of 16 babies and then is blessed with two beautiful daughters! I just don't get it...........

Posted by: JustMe at September 22, 2009 8:47 AM


I agree, Pamela - I have lost two babies in a year's time after successfully having three children previous to that. All I wanted was one more child to complete our family and I get two heart breaking losses. This woman gets rid of 16 babies and then is blessed with two beautiful daughters! I just don't get it...........

I am currently 14 weeks pregnant again, but have had some bleeding for about 10 days. Ultrasound showed a beautiful baby bouncing all around, no reason for the bleeding, but I'm still petrified something could happen. I wish us both (Pamela and anyone else trying to have a child) the best!!!!

Posted by: JustMe at September 22, 2009 8:56 AM


Hi JustMe, 8:56am

Take heart from this old warhorse. During my last pregnancy 23 years ago I bled daily for 5 months straight. In those days ultrasounds were not routine and I had 1(!) which determined I had a low lying placenta. Not much could be done except to wait until the pregnancy advanced and the placenta hopefully moved up the uterine wall, which it did.
It was a very stressful 5 months but a beautiful baby resulted.
The OB told me during my first pregnancy in which I also had bleeding for unknown reasons: "We feel better if you don't(bleed) but we don't panic if you do".

My best wishes to you and your unborn baby.

Posted by: Mary at September 22, 2009 9:25 AM



I can remember around 30 years ago when the now defunct "McCall's Magazine" ran an article bemoaning the fact that women were actually having repeat abortions! Why, we can understand ONE abortion but repeat abortions?? You... you mean women actually use abortion for birth control? How can this be? The PC side feels a sense of betrayal. Oh woe is us. Why, we never dreamed......
These charming ladies were in for a real shock, sex selection abortion was just around the corner.


I wrote and asked the editors what is the issue here? Why are 2+ abortions any less acceptable than one? Exactly what did they expect to happen? If car theft were legalized, would they be aghast at the number of repeat car thefts and the increased number of cars stolen? Or would just basic common sense tell them this is exactly what to expect would happen.

Be very careful what you wish for......

Posted by: Mary at September 22, 2009 9:54 AM


i agree with the people who say this is a hoax, and a bizarre one at that.

Posted by: Phillymiss at September 22, 2009 9:58 AM


Hi Phillymiss,

Unless she has medical documentation to back this up, you have to wonder. Anyone for whatever sick reason can say anything. Documenting proof for what you say is is quite another matter.

Its like those Hollywood gals who claimed they induced "illegal abortions" on themselves in their early teens using coat hangers. Former poster Heather raised an excellent point concerning these women and their allegations. These women must have done a remarkable job or inducing abortion on oneself is not all that dangerous since they apparently suffered no complications, or at least showed no medical documentation of complications they were alleged to have suffered, and were alive and well today.

Posted by: Mary at September 22, 2009 10:16 AM


Mary I agree with you!

Ted, at least you're not a hypocrite.

God is very merciful. Yes, He blessed her with two more children after she killed her first 16. Everything He brings into our lives is to turn our gaze to HIM. Whether it be trials or joys, He always wants us to search HIM out. He is a loving and merciful God even when we don't deserve it!

Posted by: Sydney M at September 22, 2009 10:23 AM


You're right, Sydney...I was just being a cry baby for a sec...just makes you wonder, is all. At any rate, I've never "blamed" God, and I certainly don't want to "question" his reasons, but I guess it's just hard not to sometimes when you see stuff like this.

Thanks, Mary. I truly appreciate that. I already had a scan and they said the placenta was high and everything looked good. I am actually going again today to see if they can find a blood clot or any other problem. Wow...I don't know how you managed to go so long before finding out what was wrong, but I'm so glad your baby was healthy! I had a baby 18 years ago and also got one scan at 20 weeks only, but I had no problems and was very young and healthy (19).

I actually hope this is a hoax, but unfortunately I know people who have had 6 or more abortions, so I know it's certainly possible!

Posted by: JustMe at September 22, 2009 11:12 AM


The more I've thought about it, the more I am coming to the conclusion it is probably a hoax as well. A woman who has 16 abortions is going to have some major scar tissue and a very weakened cervix, and many other (probably serious) complications. There have been many major studies recently which have proven a link between abortion and subsequent premature labor. What are the chances that after having 16 abortions, a woman would be able to conceive and carry to term two healthy babies to term? I just don't know about that.

Posted by: bethany Author Profile Page at September 22, 2009 11:18 AM


JustMe,
Praying for you and your pregnancy!!

Mary and Bethany,
I would like to see some documentation of the abortions. Medical records would be nice. Oh, and the birth certificate of PBHO while we're at it. :)
Am I asking too much??

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 22, 2009 11:21 AM


why did my post disappear?

Posted by: Stephan at September 22, 2009 11:31 AM


Stephan, are you thinking of the post you'd made to the Quote of the Day 9-21, or was there another one? It's from this author. Excellent point, btw.
----------------------------------------

Posted by: Stephan at September 22, 2009 2:50 AM

One of the things I don't get about the pro-deathers is the idea that they seem to think that airing complicated emotional outfalls before and especially after abortion somehow override the, as Chris pointed out, the simple morality that abortion is wrong.

Big deal if your story has a lot of peripheral details. Guess what? So does everybody elses. It doesn't justify killing children.

Amazon product description: "...channeling a narrative that is at once dramatic and subtle." It seems to me that many will read this book convincing themselves that you can somehow 'go beyond' the issue of the abortions to learn something 'higher' or 'better' or even 'more important'. That is a monumental lie. If you don't understand the basics about life - and one of them is the intrinsic right to life of everybody - of course long discussions will follow with no easy answers - because you're confused about the fundamentals!

But that faux intellectualism that you can just 'put aside' the morality to discuss everything - except what matters, is one thing that really drives me nuts about the pro-death movement. No, I'm not interested in your 'victim' story if you don't get it that abortion is wrong.

-----------------------------------------------

Posted by: klynn73 at September 22, 2009 11:51 AM


Carla,

There are copies of his birth certificate all over the place, they even had a picture of it in Newsweek. No way would he have had his previous career if he could not produce a birth certificate, for goodness sakes. You and others should let it go, and concentrate on real reasons not to like Obama.

Also, this lady is messed up. If she lied about it, it makes her more messed up IMO, like she took a page out of James Frey's book.

Posted by: Kate at September 22, 2009 12:08 PM


Kate,
I was being Fa See Chus. That is what the smiley face is for.
Nice chattin with ya.

Oh,
do you have any idea why so many of Obama's records are SEALED? School records, records from Occidental College, Columbia University, Harvard Law School, State Senate records for Illinois and passport records? :) (There is that smiley again.)

I will take your good advice and let it go.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 22, 2009 12:13 PM


Oh, so you do believe he is a natural citizen?

My bad. Internet is hard to read sometimes!

Posted by: Kate at September 22, 2009 12:32 PM


i was informed by my mother when i was 16 that if abortion had been cheap and legal in the 60's that i wouldn't be here today. these stories and other have been compiled in the newly released true novel by Eloquent Books entitled Euclid Avenue, Our scars mean something. the press release can be seen at eloquentbooks.com/euclidavenue.html. the book is also available at barnes & noble, books & co, books-a-million, borders, select hallmark book stores and amazon.com

Posted by: r keith rytaran at September 22, 2009 12:35 PM


I believe Obama is whoever and whatever he wants us to believe he is. He is a master manipulator and I don't believe anything he says. I must be racist.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 22, 2009 12:37 PM


Hi JustMe,

Actually I found out about 10 weeks when the doctor and I were certain I had a miscarriage.
Thankfully an ultrasound showed I hadn't though the doctor pointed out it was also possible a non developing twin had miscarried. At that point he wasn't certain if the placenta or a twin had caused the bleeding.
The ultrasound showed the problem and the doctor said nature would just have to take its course over the next few months, which thankfully it did and the bleeding subsided around 5 months.

Oh, and the doctor told me during my first baby that the docs often have no idea why women bleed during pregnancy. Don't be surprised if no reason can be found.

Posted by: Mary at September 22, 2009 12:48 PM


"I agree, Pamela - I have lost two babies in a year's time after successfully having three children previous to that. All I wanted was one more child to complete our family and I get two heart breaking losses. This woman gets rid of 16 babies and then is blessed with two beautiful daughters! I just don't get it..........."

My parents tried for ten years to get pregnant before they finally did. They were absolutely thrilled, but shortly after they'd told everybody on both sides of the family, my mom had a miscarriage at about two months. Miraculously, she got pregnant for the second time in her life a couple of months later - with me, her only surviving child. I don't know why God decided that my older sibling should die so I could live, but I'm always very aware of the fact that I owe my existence to someone else's death. It's strange enough wondering why God did what He did - it's going to be incredibly bizarre for Irene Vilar's daughters to try to deal with the fact that their mother picked them to be the ones who survived.

Posted by: Marauder at September 22, 2009 12:50 PM


Carla 12:37PM

No you're not racist. You simply recognize a sociopath when you see one.

Posted by: Mary at September 22, 2009 12:50 PM


Carla, you must be a racist! I must be too to take issue with his character and not just shut up and love him because he is half-black. And of course, all the white Democrats that mocked Mr. Alan Keyes (who is a black conservative) are NOT racist. No, not at all. just us.

Posted by: Sydney M at September 22, 2009 12:52 PM


Hi Sydney M,

Not to mention the Democrats' efforts to portray Clarence Thomas as some drooling sexual predator while only being too happy to overlook the sexual "indiscretions" of a white man named Bill Clinton.

BTW, did or do Democrats have a problem with a Democrat ex-klansman in the US Senate?

Come on folks, let's talk racism.

Posted by: Mary at September 22, 2009 12:57 PM


Very good points! An excellent book is called "The Big Black Lie" by Kevin Jackson. He is a black conservative who details how he discovered that liberals are indeed racist and what led him to be conservative. If you buy it tomorrow on Amazon you get a free "angry mob" t-shirt! The book is an easy read and written very conversationally.

Posted by: Sydney M at September 22, 2009 1:00 PM


Wow, this lady is really disturbed. I hope she's seeking help for her mental problem(s). It's a crying shame that the "collateral damage" of her own self-destruction had to be 16 of her own children, if indeed her claims are true. And if her story is not true, then I still say she needs mental help. What person in their right mind would want to publish a book claiming personal responsibility for 16 abortions? Many post-abortive women seem to want to hide the fact that they've had "just one or two".

Perhaps one of you ladies who has had an abortion in her past could explain that one to me - if someone really had 16 abortions, why would they want to let the whole world know? Wouldn't they feel that secret sense of shame and hide it?

Posted by: army_wife at September 22, 2009 1:11 PM


There are copies of his birth certificate all over the place
Posted by: Kate at September 22, 2009 12:08 PM

Wrong. What's been posted are copies of his certification of live birth, which is not an original birth certificate. It's been well documented that a Hawaiian COLB could be obtained for children not born in Hawaii.

Having said that, I am not a birther. I am a "dualie." I believe his admission that he was born with dual citizenship is the real issue, not his birthplace. How can one born a british subject be "natural born" for constitutional purposes?

naturalborncitizen.wordpress.com/2009/08/07/obama-was-a-natural-born-subject-the-founders-greatest-fear-as-to-commander-in-chief/

You and others should let it go, and concentrate on real reasons not to like Obama.
Posted by: Kate at September 22, 2009 12:08 PM

Liking or disliking Obama has nothing to do with it from my perspective. It has to do with multiple citizenships and the influence that bears on foreign policy, treaties, etc. FWIW, I don't believe McCain was constitutionally eligible and I don't believe Jindal would be either unless both his parents were naturalized US citizens at the time of his birth. The question isn't whether one is a native born citizen but whether one is a natural born citizen.

Posted by: Fed Up at September 22, 2009 1:41 PM


Posted by: carla at September 22, 2009 12:37 PM
--------

carla - I know you're a racist - you've raced in the water, and on land, and on a bicycle. You've even raced your kids around the church! ;-)

disclaimer: - for all the serious folks out there - this is humor - seriously.

Posted by: Chris Arsenault at September 22, 2009 9:09 PM


lmbo Chris!

Posted by: Bethany at September 22, 2009 9:22 PM


God Bless and put His 'Hedge of Protection' around you and your baby, Justme. :)

Posted by: Pamela at September 22, 2009 10:03 PM


"i agree with the people who say this is a hoax, and a bizarre one at that."
--there was a similar story out of England about a year ago...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1035053/I-blanked-emotions-SEVEN-abortions.html

If the link does not work, google "I blanked out the emotions after each of my SEVEN abortions."

I feel sick to my stomach. God help us.

Posted by: Row1 at September 22, 2009 10:58 PM


Row1, her story is horrid- I remember reading that about a year ago- how sad!

Her story is more believable than the woman with 16 abortions though, since her baby, Ben, was born premature and with learning disabilities, which is more expected of a baby who is born after multiple abortions.

Also, she gave her son up to her father after just 2 months, because she had difficulty bonding with him. This makes much more sense than the idea that motherhood suddenly changed everything for the better for the woman in the above story.

If anything, I would imagine motherhood would only make things worse for a woman who aborted so many children.

I also cannot imagine the damage done to the cervix and uterus after 16 abortions and have a really hard time believing that this woman could have had that many abortions but then went on to have healthy full term births with no complications.

Posted by: Bethany at September 22, 2009 11:17 PM


thank you klynn - I'm not sure if I got confused... it's been a busy week and I lose track...

Posted by: Stephan at September 23, 2009 4:42 AM


Chris,
You are correct. I am a racist mother. Racing after the kiddoes everyday!! :)

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 23, 2009 6:34 AM


so maybe this story is a hoax. I do remember reading the uk story and it seemed rather faked to me.

Can she produce medical proof of her abortions? Also the fact that the publisher is protecting her makes it difficult to verify her claims.

Carla we might also add the term racey - that is having the quality of "racing". Does this make you a racey racist? ;) (more humour)

Posted by: angel at September 23, 2009 7:33 AM


Yes, angel. A racey racist!! LOL

If you only vote for a man for president BECAUSE he is black, does that make you a racist?

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 23, 2009 8:34 AM


wow. That woman in the article about seven abortions INSISTS they don't bother her but then tries to commit suicide, and battles depression DAILY. Then she tries to blame it on post-natal depression. Maybe you felt depressed after your baby was born because you realized when you looked at your precious son, that his brothers and sisters were just as precious and you KILLED THEM! How any woman who has already birthed a child could go on to have three more abortions is beyond me. Once you've had a baby, you can't deny that there is life in your womb when you are pregnant!

Posted by: Sydney M at September 23, 2009 9:15 AM


Sydney,
Denial is a powerful thing!! You have to deny what you know in your heart to be true. A complete, living and growing human being is killed in an abortion. Two living humans go into an abortion clinic and one walks out. The tension between what you WANT to believe and what you KNOW becomes so intense. Hence, the depression, anxiety, nightmares, suicidal thoughts and attempts, drinking, drug use, promiscuity...the list goes on.

I have a friend that tells me she is so glad her abortion "never bothered her the way mine bothers me." And yet, why the years of depression and trying different antidepressants? The years in therapy and counseling going from one to the next? The constant weight gain and marital problems? (I usually just SMILE at her when she says that.)

Years and years after an abortion no one really wants to connect the dots back to the killing of your own.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 23, 2009 9:34 AM


Carla and Sydney M. I heartily agree, denial is a powerful thing. I have post-abortive family members who battled depression and suicidal thoughts even seemed to welcome abuse because of poor self-esteem issues, like "I deserve this abuse because of what I did to my babies". eventually they got healing through Christ but the pain is still there.

Posted by: Prolifer L at September 23, 2009 10:37 AM


I am so glad I saw a picture of an aborted baby as a kid and learned the TRUTH of abortion so young. It saved me from so much grief. Because my husband and I had contraceptive failure and our son resulted. What if I hadn't known the truth? I had tons of reasons to "abort". Money was a huge issue for us. But I knew the truth because I learned it as an 8 year old child.

I am very thankful for women like you Carla who speak out about the TRUTH of abortion. You warn other women to stay away from that path, to beware the heartache it brings. Hows that saying go? "There but for the grace of God go I" or something like that. Its so true. It could have easily been me battling depression and trying to deny that my child had existed. I never want to experience the loss of any of my children in any way!

Posted by: Sydney M at September 23, 2009 10:43 AM


Carla wrote in response to:
"And many no longer wonder about the child that could have been."

Is that the goal of counseling, in your opinion? And how do you know they never wonder?

Did you read my prior statement, the part that said, "It's a long and difficult journey, but the many women there are all in different stages of grief and healing, some have even found closure and complete healing, their abortions will always stay with them, but they reach a point where they can cope with their feelings in healthier ways and can move on with their lives."

Perhaps I shouldn't of made such a general statement to include all post-abortion women, as every woman's path to healing and closure is different, but rather some women feel this way. How do I know, you ask? Because I've been invovled with on that message board, where women share intimate details of their lives and healing journey, and have listened and offered counsel to many women for 4 years now. Their experiences and healing journies are diverse.

I see nothing wrong with ALL of the approaches to help women cope with abortion grief and regret. Jesus can and does heal.

Ok then, but Jesus isn't the only way women can completely heal and that's the message I was hearing from klynn73.

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 23, 2009 11:38 AM


*Because I've been invovled with women on that message board...

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 23, 2009 11:48 AM


Rachael,
I was just thinking about what you wrote and have to say I am the type that usually wonders what could have been. Maybe, it's just me. My grandmother died 30 years ago and I wonder...my miscarried babies died in 95 and 2001 and I wonder..

I won't be arguing Jesus with you. :) I hear ya. You have experience with women's journeys, so have I. We both want the same things for them.

Curious. If women do not believe in God or heaven or Jesus then how do you grieve with hope? The one thing that keeps me going is knowing someday I will be with Aubrey again. I will be totally healed in heaven.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 23, 2009 11:54 AM


0h Carla, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invalidate your feelings ((hugs)). I too think about my grandmother, who passed in 2007, from time to time and wonder what could of been, I think it's a normal reaction and a part of healing.

I won't be arguing Jesus with you. :)

Thanks ;)

I hear ya. You have experience with women's journeys, so have I. We both want the same things for them.

Curious. If women do not believe in God or heaven or Jesus then how do you grieve with hope? The one thing that keeps me going is knowing someday I will be with Aubrey again. I will be totally healed in heaven.

I can't answer that as it's such a personal answer. Do you still have your screen name there? Perhaps that would be a good question on the Main Women's Support board or General Spirituality board.

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 23, 2009 12:08 PM


Rachael C.
You didn't invalidate my feelings. Hugs back to you!! I just wanted to totally understand what you were saying. I do.

Thank you for your support and care for post abortive women!! Just having you there is a huge comfort to them, I am sure.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 23, 2009 12:20 PM


We grieve with acceptance.

Posted by: xalisae at September 23, 2009 12:30 PM


I'm willing to bet though that women who have faith in God probably heal better and more quickly than those who do not. That's just my opinion though.

Posted by: angel at September 23, 2009 12:51 PM


Yes, X
the last stage of grief is acceptance.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 23, 2009 1:00 PM


I believe this is true. I meet women all the time who have had multiple abortions.

Posted by: heather at September 23, 2009 2:24 PM


I accept that I had my child killed in an abortion. I accept that and I live with it. But the only forgiveness I have found for this truth that is so horrifying is through Christ. I thought abortion was unforgivable. I was wrong. In Him I have been able to find forgiveness and forgive myself.
He offers me hope.

I'll Hold You in Heaven by Jack Hayford has been a book I read over and over again.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 23, 2009 3:18 PM


I had 1 abortion 24+ years ago and I am so thankful that I found healing and forgiveness in the arms of Christ. I have met many women as I have been involved in the pro-life issues that have had multiple abortions, some 4 some 6 & 7 and some not even sure how many they had. Very Sad! But to them and myself Post Abortion Syndrome is very real and it usually isn't until they seek Christ that they embrace the need for healing and forgiveness. I pray Irene will find Christ's Love and Healing for her and her 2 beautiful daughter's lives. My experience has led me to write "Whispers from the Womb". You can check out the web-site at www.whispersfromthewomb.com I pray we will began to hear their voices. The Lord gave me the words in these poems from babies in the womb to different people. One even being Dear Abortionist & One to the President. But the 1st one God gave me was Please Mommy Please and that became part of my testimony for years. (had I heard those words maybe I wouldn't have chose abortion) Just a couple of months ago I went from one Wednesday night having 8 poems to the next Wednesday night having 16, there are 18 poems in all along with other info. My prayer is that these Whispers will speak Volume! And God will use them to touch change and save many lives. God Bless!!

Posted by: Tina at September 23, 2009 10:07 PM


WOW. This woman is severely disturbed. Daughters 17 and 18 are absolutely beautiful. Wonder what 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16 would have looked like? Undoubtedly beautiful, unique and made with a purpose. Just like the 2 she chose to let live.
SAD.

Posted by: Lise at September 23, 2009 10:24 PM


Carla, :-) BTW, could you do me a favor? I have a couple of posts awaiting approval in moderation at a couple Quote of the Day threads, the one on strippers and the one on the above mentioned book. I look forward to further discussions and thoughts on these two topics.

Posted by: Rachael C. at September 24, 2009 6:59 AM


Done, Rachael C!! :)

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 24, 2009 9:19 AM


You would think after having two beautiful girls by her side that she would be broken by the pillaging she has done but no ... wow! Incomprehensible!!!

Posted by: Abortion Support at September 25, 2009 11:21 PM


Carla:

We've all done real bad stuff. Every single one of us.

The only difference comes when we have the courage to admit it and seek forgiveness from God and the ones we have offended. Sometimes over and over again.

That will be a most joyous day when you see your baby again, all glorified and never to be sick, or die and you right there with her.....forver, as if nothing bad ever happened.

Gives me shivers to think what God is like that He can forgive us so abundantly.

I wish I could forgive more like God does. It's difficult. I'm working on it.

Posted by: Phil Schembri is HisMan at September 27, 2009 9:24 PM


God bless you, Phil!! So many amazing reunions on that day......

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at September 28, 2009 8:38 AM