Pregnant Michelle Duggar hospitalized

Please keep über mom Michelle Duggar and her brood in your prayers. Here is one reality show family that sets a shining Godly example in so many ways. According to People last night:

Michelle Duggar, star of TLC's 18 Kids and Counting, was rushed to an AR hospital over the weekend - but her pregnancy with Baby No. 19, not due until spring, wasn't the reason for her dash to the doctor.

duggar jim bob and michelle.jpg

"This weekend, Michelle Duggar was admitted to an AR hospital due to gallbladder issues," says a network rep. "The pain from a gallstone was generating some contractions. Just to be safe, she was airlifted to a Little Rock, AR, hospital, so that in the unlikely event that she had to be delivered early, she would be close to a NICU center. Though there were some fears that the baby was in trouble initially, it soon was discovered to be solely the gallstone causing the discomfort. Michelle is resting comfortably, and the baby is doing fine."...

For now, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar's brood of 18 kids will have to get by without Mom at home. "Doctors want to observe Michelle in the hospital for the next couple of days," says the rep, "but it would appear that the pain medication they have given her for the gallstone has worked, and there is no need for immediate surgery. The hope is that any necessary surgery can be delayed until after she delivers."

The physician attending Duggar, Dr. Curtis Lowery of the University of AR for Medical Sciences, tells People, "We have every reason at present to expect that mother and baby will proceed with a healthy pregnancy. Mrs. Duggar is in good spirits and feeling much better."

duggar family 18 and counting photo.png

[HT: proofreader Laura Loo]


Oh that's awful that she was having such discomfort from the gallstones. I'm glad everything is going to be okay with her and the baby.

Posted by: bethany Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 7:01 AM

Yikes! Glad she and the baby are both okay. The older kids usually help out at home, so I think they'll be okay without mom for a few days. The younger kids like Jordyn and Jennifer and Johannah might be in more distress cause they're so much younger.

Posted by: LizFromNebraska at December 8, 2009 7:13 AM

Pretty much what I was going to say, only in not-so-nice terms. It's different when YOU are the older child mothering your younger siblings that you didn't have because it is expected of you while your friends are all out having fun.

Posted by: xalisae at December 8, 2009 8:02 AM

God bless Mrs. Duggar! What a scary experience for her. It's a blessing she has children to help out. As to what xalisae said, I'd have to say that it might be different (I was the oldest so I know what I'm talking about) but any disgruntled feelings the oldest has is due to selfishness rather than service. It's all about attitude.

Posted by: Fiona at December 8, 2009 8:10 AM

Praying for the Duggars!! I so want to spend a weekend in their house. Taking notes.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 8:15 AM

Riiiiight. I would do anything for my siblings, I love them, and to this day I help them whenever I can. Trust me, I've had many adjectives used to describe me-quite a few of a negative stroke-but "selfish" has never been one. And that doesn't mean I don't think parents should take care of their own ---- babies and have some consideration for their other children whose only misstep is having been born before the others.

I hadn't really given any thought to my upbringing and adolescence before the Duggars came around, honestly. It had become my normal, and I didn't see any problem with it. Watching it from the outside helped me to realize how jacked-up it was.

Posted by: xalisae at December 8, 2009 8:18 AM

Some of you act like these things don't happen in small families too. I had one sister, and OH MY GOSH, I had to babysit her from time to time because my parents had an emergency situation going on, or just had busy schedules. God forbid.

Obviously maybe not quite as much as a larger family, but still. The happiest families I know are large, and I wish I had that when I was younger.

Posted by: Jenny Z at December 8, 2009 8:33 AM

"babysit from time to time" is quite different than constantly having a sibling on your hip from age 13 (or younger) and having people at supermarkets frequently asking YOU about "your baby".

Plus...have any of you thought about how older children feel after moving out to start their own lives after having invested so much of their own time and energy into helping raise their siblings, only to have mom finally step in at their departure? A couple years down the line, and an older child seeing mom take credit for all his/her hard work is pretty painful.

Posted by: xalisae at December 8, 2009 9:16 AM

I'm sorry, xalisae, it seems that you have a lot of issues from your childhood. I've been in your shoes. If I might, may I humbly suggest that you need to let it go for your own sake. Children are still a blessing, and I hope your siblings appreciated what you did for them, but if not, at least you know you provided them with care and love when your mom either could or would not.

Posted by: Fiona at December 8, 2009 9:18 AM

Children are a blessing, but so is food, and eating too much food isn't good for you.

My issues aren't just my issues. I want people here to understand the implications of their advocation.

Hating children and loving abortion is something I've seen quite a bit of, and it's definitely not healthy and is inconsiderate of the children involved to the extreme. But, claiming to love children so much and talking about how great it is to pop out as many as you can isn't healthy either, and isn't considerate of all the children involved, either. I just want people to be reasonable. Abortion isn't reasonable, but I don't think families like the Duggars are, either.

Posted by: xalisae at December 8, 2009 9:33 AM

Xalisae, I wish that I had had an experience like yours, being taught to take care of my sister and brother at a young age.

It would have helped me so much in growing into a mature adult who knew how to take care of children well. I have a lot of experience NOW, but taking care of my first and second was such a huge learning curve, because I had almost no experience with children when I first got married. I had a lot of temper issues because I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that all of a sudden I had these responsibilities I had never had to deal with (or even known about) before. I had absolutely no preparation for being a mother- even though that is exactly what I wanted to be.

It would have been so nice had I had the kind of experience that the Duggar children are able to get in their home. It would have helped me so much in being completely prepared for what my adult life would be one day. The Duggar children are so lucky to live in a home with such joy, structure, and love. I see Michelle as a role model in my life.

Posted by: bethany Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 9:56 AM

Xalisae, I'm sorry though that your parents didn't make you feel appreciated when you were taking care of your siblings.

I think that the Duggars do make their children feel appreciated and maybe that makes all of the difference. Plus, it seems that they make a great effort to have one on one time with each of their children. Without that, I am sure it is much more difficult!

Posted by: bethany Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 10:04 AM

Praying for the Duggars!! I so want to spend a weekend in their house. Taking notes.

Oh I am so with you there, Carla! If only I could watch how she and Jim Bob deal with it when their children are fighting or when a child pitches a temper tantrum. I know their ways are so much more effective than my own! I would love to have their patience and learn a lot from their methods and apply them to my own life. I am so jealous of Ken (kbhvac) who had dinner with them once. lol

Posted by: bethany Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 10:20 AM

I had a gallbladder attack when I was pregnant. It was WORSE than natural labor. I pray for Michelle!

I was the youngest of four kids. My brothers were teens when I was born and since my father died when I was 3 my brothers pretty much raised me like a father. They disciplined me and my husband asked them for permission to marry me before he proposed. My sister is only two years older than me but she was also a little mother to me much to my chagrin! My mom had to go back to work as an R.N. after my father's death so my siblings helped raise me. Didn't hurt them at all. Think about back in the "olden" days...children didn't run around in packs at the mall. They stayed home and helped out. I think if more kids did that they would have better relationships with their parents and you wouldn't see all these "bad kids" doing drugs, having promiscuous sex, running away from home, crime etc... More kids should take a page from the Duggars handbook and adjust their attitudes and put family first. The Duggar kids don't look bitter to me. They all seem to have sweet attitudes and look like good kids who will do the world some good!

Posted by: Sydney M at December 8, 2009 10:34 AM

Xalisae, I would only counter that we pro-aborts don't love abortion any more than dentists love root canals. It is a medical procedure that needs to be protected, but it is not adored.

But I do agree with you that the Duggars, while really good people, are unintentionally 'spoiling it' for everyone else. For every family like the Duggars, there are many many more couples who struggle to produce just one healthy child. Furthermore, having two children is the ideal way to promote continuation of the species without causing unhealthy population growth. It also keeps your family's carbon footprint and environmental impact to a minimum. The Duggars are doing what their religion says is right, but not necessarily what societies or the world needs.

Posted by: Dhalgren at December 8, 2009 10:52 AM

I guess that's the problem then, bethany. While I do love children, being a mother only has never been my ultimate goal. When I was in school, mothering never really even showed up on my radar of what I wanted to do with my life.

Posted by: xalisae at December 8, 2009 10:57 AM

Finish the thought Dhalgren
A medical procedure that forcefully dilates a woman's cervix and chops a tiny unborn human child into pieces and then vacuums that tiny unborn human child out of the womb. THAT is what you want to protect. The right to kill our children. Own it.

If you are considering having any more children please make sure to clear it with Dhalgren. We don't want to "spoil" anything for him/her by having all of the children God wants to bless us with.
You may or may not be given permission to reproduce again from Dhalgren but it's worth a shot.

Too late for me. I have 4 children. Sue me.
Too late for the Duggars. They have 18. Sue them.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 11:00 AM

"The Duggars are doing what their religion says is right, but not necessarily what societies or the world needs. "

It's a good thing that they won't have to answer to "society" come judgment day.

Posted by: Bobby Bambino Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 11:03 AM

I pray that all is well with her and her baby in Jesus Name. Amen.

Posted by: LisaShaw at December 8, 2009 11:10 AM

I would totally echo your comment about being unprepared for motherhood. I have always wanted four children. Always.

Unfortunately I was not taught HOW to be a mother by my own mother. She did not have it to give. It is a crash course for me and at times I am frustrated at my lack of knowledge in so many areas that seems to come much more easily to those that grew up in a nurturing household.

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 11:12 AM

Even if mothering wasn't on your radar at the time, can you really argue that the experience you gained from helping raise your siblings didn't help you with the children you have today, even just a little?

Even in other areas of life, I think that having responsibilities as a young teenager/adult, and learning that you aren't the center of the universe and that you need to do your part to help others is a very positive thing that brings up responsible, respectable people who have diligence, and a sense of purpose in whatever field they choose in life. Not just mothering.

I think that it's possible that the reason you are such a caring and smart person today is likely at least partly due to the fact that you were raised in such an atmosphere.

Posted by: bethany Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 11:21 AM

Also, one of the biggest reasons that abortion happens today is that 'motherhood wasn't on the radar' of the person at the time. Fortunately, you're more responsible than that and you chose life for your children - but many women choose to abort based soley on that, whether due to ignorance or selfishness?

How many people would be choosing life for their children today if they were raised being taught the importance of "family first"?

Posted by: bethany Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 11:29 AM

I am not saying that this is what happened to X but I would like to give a different perspective.

My oldest (a daughter) was a little upset when she found out I was expecting #7. She has this perception that she ALWAYS has to take care of the other kids and this will just increase when the new baby comes.

My hubby and I laugh at this b/c she has NEVER changed a diaper, fed a baby a bottle, made a meal for the other kids, etc. She HAS watched a few of them while I drop another off at a friend. Taken a walk with the dog, or hubby and I have gone to Noodles for dinner. (We have yet to go out for a sit down dinner with her watching the others.) And trust me, we dont do this often and pretty much set the kids up with different technology to avoid getting a call. (This one plays a computer game, these two play the Wii, these watch a movie....) When we get a real sitter they have told us our six are easier to watch than 2 in other families.

Sometimes its all in the perception. Now my little one is telling me she ALWAYS has to feed the dog - it will never end.

Posted by: Kristen at December 8, 2009 12:13 PM

No, Kirsten. I've been changing diapers, feeding bottles, and making entire dinner meals all on my own for a family of 8 since I was about 12 or 13.

I actually would've loved to have the experience of being a new mom and actually FEELING like a new mom.

Posted by: xalisae at December 8, 2009 1:19 PM

And Dhalgren, you're a lunatic. Why don't you try removing your head from whatever bodily orifice it happens to be crammed into and take a trip outside downtown Manhattan. Come out here where I live, into the wilderness (not to mention various other places throughout the US which are chock-full of vegetation and wildlife) and you'll realize that we're in no great danger of overpopulation whatsoever. After driving between AR and CA numerous times, between CA and CO, between CO and AR, and from AR to KY, I always just have to laugh at alarmist population-control freaks like yourself who love screaming insane ravings about overpopulation when they've never even been outside Large Metropolitan Area Z.

Posted by: xalisae at December 8, 2009 1:28 PM

Xalisae, did your parents ever have any of your siblings help carry some of the load? Seems like that would get pretty stressful if you felt that everything relied on you all of the time. I like the Duggar's idea of a "buddy system"....each older child only has the responsibility of making sure that one "buddy" gets ready in the morning, etc. That way it isn't all on one person to get all of the tasks accomplished. They also rotate who gets to cook, etc.

Posted by: bethany Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 2:44 PM

If I had HALF of their organization skills, I would be on cloud 9. It does not come naturally to me!

Posted by: bethany Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 2:46 PM

I think its good the Duggar children have to help. It teaches them the world doesn't revolve around THEM which most children never learn and thats why we have the idiot adults in the world that exhibit road rage, scream at cashiers, steal from stores and yell at little children on the playground. Things I see all the time, cause these adults think the world revolves around THEM and I blame their parents for that.

Carla--you crack me up! I loved your post. My husband and I are trying for number 2 baby...i forgot to ask Dhalgren first. oops.

The Duggars have a very small carbon footprint because they only buy what they NEED and they go to second hand shops a lot and they pass clothes down through many many children and recycle all they can. They have a much smaller carbon footprint for the 18 of them than Al Gore has for just his fat ole self. So before you want to judge this family, Dhalgen, why don't you admonish your own leaders of the environmental movement who live in mansions and own many many cars and fly personal jets etc...hypocrite.

Posted by: Sydney M at December 8, 2009 3:50 PM

I wonder what kind of pain medication they gave here. My gall bladdar attacks were the worst pain I could imagine. It felt like someone stabbing me in the upper stomach for 12 hours straight. Vicodin and percocet worked great after surgery(and made me pretty happy at the same time), but nothing would touch the pain I'd have before I got that the thing removed.

Posted by: Ella at December 8, 2009 4:23 PM

Where do people get this wierd PHOBIA about families with more than 4 children? 50 years ago, it was normal, and no one equated large families with mental or social dysfunctions. Even today, WHERE IS THE CONCRETE EVIDENCE that large families lead to mental anguish and social ills? DO A REALITY CHECK, PEOPLE!!!!

Posted by: MEL at December 8, 2009 4:46 PM

Doesn't bother me that they have a large family, but I wouldn't change places with them.

Posted by: Hal at December 8, 2009 5:31 PM


Can you list all of the factors and formulas involved in calculating one's own carbon footprint? I'd like to see if my green lifestyle might allow me to have three children instead of two. What if I'm a farmer? Can I then have four children?

Posted by: Janet at December 8, 2009 5:49 PM

MEL: my guess is it comes from the bad influences on society, by the founder of Planned Parenthood who HATED large families and said

"The most merciful thing that a large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it." --- Margaret Sanger

That's probably where the hate started.

I love the Duggar's buddy system. Especially when they are going somewhere on a field trip such as Washington, D.C., its something that's necessary.

Posted by: LizFromNebraska at December 8, 2009 5:58 PM

I think Dahlgren is fine with 2. But no more or you are in big trouble, missy!

Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 7:56 PM

The second oldest in my family has a learning disability, and the third oldest is a boy who really wasn't expected to look after the younger ones.

Posted by: xalisae at December 8, 2009 8:11 PM

"The Duggars are doing what their religion says is right, but not necessarily what societies or the world needs. "

It's a good thing that they won't have to answer to "society" come judgment day.
Posted by: Bobby Bambino Author Profile Page at December 8, 2009 11:03 AM


I'm hoping my children leave a huge carbon footprint in the form of at least 6 children each!
In fact, I'm strongly encouraging it! ;)

Posted by: angel at December 8, 2009 9:26 PM


Please walk only on the sidewalk.

You are wearing down the earth.

No more electric appliances or hot showers for you. No showers period.

Only raw veggies for you.

Recylce your own urine for drinking water/and use it and your fecal material to irrigate and fertilize your veggies.

No flatulence allowed.

No breathing allowed. You are emitting a deadly greenhouse gas with each exhalation.

But don't get too 'religious' about all these rules.

And please do not move next door to me. If you do please make sure that it is downwind.

yor bro ken

Posted by: kbhvac at December 8, 2009 10:33 PM

I hope Mrs. Duggar and the baby will be okay.

And I think I understand a little about where xalisae is coming from. I've heard some pretty sad Quiverfull stories about girls being expected to have absolutely no lives of their own (not even education, sometimes), and to dedicate their entire lives to raising Mom's kids right up to the minute they get married and start having their own. If you ask me, that's pushing normal expectations to a very unhealthy extreme.

Read Hillary McFarland's story sometime:

Posted by: Gina at December 9, 2009 9:06 AM

X, I'm sorry you view your younger siblings as a burden. Perhaps in your case you were overly burdened, I don't know. But you are projecting your perception out to other large families. The Duggar family is one, for example, that your comments about how you had to do everything for all of your younger siblings simply doesn't apply... their systems for working with their brood are well known to anyone who follows the show even a little bit and obviously, no one member is bearing the entire burden.

I agree with Fiona that, in general, large family issues of the eldest children is due to selfishness. That does not mean that it is true in all cases, but then again, I am a part of a community of large families and the older sibling "issues" tend to be relatively rare and time-limited (in other words, they go through "phases" and then mature and see the blessings as well as the hardships).

I'm not sure what was "jacked up" in your family situation. I know that my oldest was thrilled when we announced number seven and she is hoping that we get blessed with number eight. That being said, as the children get older (and more numerous) her chore list has actually gotten significantly smaller. She knows that I view her education as her first and most important job. She is in high school and college and that takes up a large part of her time. She has a very happy, active social life, but is more balanced than many of her contemporaries (and she recognizes that) due to her younger siblings.

In fact, we have had conversations where she has related to me how sorry she feels for her friends where they are only children or from small families because they seem so lonely or peer-dependent. She has commented that there have been times she had to make the "right" decision because she knew little eyes were watching her. She said that she doesn't understand how anyone handles the "meanness" of some high school clique issues when they can't come home to younger siblings who adore them or cuddle up on the couch with a sleeping baby nestled into their neck.

She also said that she is amazed by the girls who seem desperate to get pregnant and have kids of their own... because they have no idea how much work they can be and think that the children will somehow fulfill THEIR emotional needs.

This is an emergency situation in the Duggar family. The older children (male AND female) will assist and then when mom is home and feeling better it will go back to what "their" normal is.

Your comment about mom and dad taking credit for "their" work is really telling, too. I don't know what went on in your situation, but it sounds unhealthy. I give each of my children credit for their contribution to the family all of the time! When the littler ones demonstrate something positive, I'm always pointing out to the older ones where they learned it! (And it is never just from mom or dad!) Conversely, when the littler ones pick up a bad habit, I'll point out where that one came from, too... which usually gets a sheepish "oops" realization from the older sibling in question!

I honestly think Alison has it easier with six younger siblings than she did when it was one or two... because that is when we were dealing with the worst of Joseph's health issues and she was, for the most part, helping me with his physical therapy most of the day, almost every day. But now that has paid off beautifully and I give her a great deal of the credit when the topic comes up!

Chores in our household:
Alison: makes dinner, does the laundry, keeps her room clean (well, in theory... LOL)
Joseph: makes lunch, washes dishes, manages the gardens, mops floors, keeps his room clean
Jonathan: makes breakfast, dries and puts away dishes, cleans the cat litter box and feeds the cat, sweeps floors, keeps his room clean (shares with Joseph)
Amber: puts dishes in sink, cleans bathrooms, keeps her room clean, may help with sweeping as needed
Amanda and Arielle: responsible for cleaning up after themselves as much as possible, help mom patrol the front and back yard for cleanup, keep their room clean (share with Amber)
Patrick: look cute.

Honestly, X, there aren't that many families the size of the Duggars. But there are a lot of families the size of mine (which seems to be what you take issue with). I don't "pop out as many as I can"... I don't try to get pregnant any more than I try not to get pregnant. I simply accept whatever comes my way.

And to be honest, our house is the one all of her friends want to spend time in... because we bake cookies and play games together. Her friends love how the little ones fawn all over them and draw them pictures... most of them call me Mom and Steven Dad...

This is my Alison:

And THIS is Alison's favorite Friday afternoon activity after a rough week of high school and college:

Posted by: Elisabeth at December 9, 2009 9:32 AM

I love Patrick's chore. Look Cute, LOL.

we had chores in my family and there are only three kids. My sister did the dusting, sinks and mirrors. My brother took the trash out and cleaned the tub. I helped with the silverware. As I got older, I had to do more.

Its good for kids to learn to cook because it makes it easier when they do move out on their own.

Posted by: LizFromNebraska at December 9, 2009 11:21 AM

A social life would've been nice. For the most part, I wasn't allowed to go out.

Did I ever say I viewed my younger siblings as a burden? I don't think so. I just think that PARENTS of many children should raise the children THEY CREATED. It's more than a little hypocritical to wring your hands about how the family unit is deteriorating because parents don't parent their children and then in the same breath say it's perfectly acceptable for parents to dump their younger children off on their older children to be raised for them simply because the older kids had it coming for being born first.

Posted by: xalisae at December 9, 2009 9:11 PM

The problem is, X, that no one has said that. I hardly think that while mom is in the hospital for gallbladder surgery expecting the older kids to help out with the babies is dumping responsibilities!

In addition, every member of the Duggar family has responsibilities to contribute to the family as a whole which keeps the whole burden from landing on only one or two family members.

Apparently that was not what happened in your individual case, but I still say you're projecting.

Posted by: Elisabeth at December 10, 2009 12:28 AM

"X, I'm sorry you view your younger siblings as a burden..."

Yeah, someone HAS said that.

Posted by: Elisabeth at December 9, 2009 9:32 AM

Posted by: xalisae at December 10, 2009 2:13 AM

That isn't what I was referring to, X, but I have to chase kidlets tonight and will return tomorrow.

Again, you are projecting your experiences and the bitterness in your voice is quite clear. I will pray that you find peace.

Posted by: Elisabeth at December 10, 2009 10:27 PM

Elisabeth, those were some sweet pictures.

Your youngest looks all snuggly and sweet! Reminds me of all my babies... I can't wait till our (third!) little boy is born in about 5-7 weeks.

Regarding the large-family conversation, although my family wasn't as large as some of you folks', I was the oldest of four kids (and Mom and Dad had two more after I moved away and got married). I was resentful a lot because of what I perceived as a lack of social life due to helping out with my younger siblings, however, in MY case (not necessarily saying this is true for others here, just me) I can look back and say that a lot of that was due to selfishness. I honestly think it is GOOD that I didn't have more of a social life because I would have just gotten myself into ten kinds of trouble that way. I was in a bad spot in my life and I would probably have gotten into all sorts of trouble. I got into enough trouble with what little freedom I had anyway. And I also think that my attitude really stank then, I should have been more willing to help out and contribute to the family's well-being instead of expecting everything to be done for me/handed to me without having to contribute anything. I wish I had been a more helpful and considerate teen. My mother had some serious health issues and she and Dad had a lot of things to work out as well, and I understand those things better now and wish I would have made it easier for them instead of being argumentative and complaining so much. I was too wrapped up in myself.

Well, that was my experience, anyway. I don't think parents should dump all their responsibilities on the older children, by any means, but I think it is valuable and good for all children (olders and youngers) to learn to pitch in (do a fair share) for the well-being of the family cheerfully and willingly. I had to learn after leaving home and marrying that the world didn't revolve around me - maturity didn't come easily or quickly for me I suppose. When I became a parent myself, I quickly learned that I didn't have it so bad when I was taking care of my own siblings because parenting was a lot harder than I ever realized until I had my own! I thought that I had to do "everything" but really, looking back, I know I had it easy! The longer I am a parent, the more respect I have for the job my parents did and the more forgiving and understanding I am of their mistakes. I had (and still have, sometimes) temper problems as well, so I can relate to a lot of how you felt, Bethany. I can understand where you are coming from very well on that point.

Regarding the Duggars... well, I don't think we really can know how their kids actually feel about their upbringing unless they TELL about it themselves. We'll see as they all become adults how they are, what they say, how they feel. Outsiders can't truly know what goes on and especially someone else's feelings about something. If they seem well-adjusted and happy/content with life, then Mom and Dad must be doing SOMETHING right. I'd be interested to hear the thoughts of the children as they become adults themselves. I have a lot of respect for a couple who can manage a family and household that large efficiently. Even the little family we have is a lot for me to take some days!

Xalisae, I'm really sorry you didn't have such a great upbringing. It seems from what you said here that it was pretty dysfunctional. And I'm sorry for the hurt feelings you have as a result. I'm not saying that I am sorry "just because it sounds good", I truly do understand. For different reasons than yours, I have upbringing baggage as well. Our upbringing impacts who we become as an adult so much and I know it is difficult to deal with major upbringing/childhood/teen-years issues even as an adult. I had serious problems as a young adult as a result of some of the stuff in my past, and all I can say is that I've found that having a saving-relationship with God is the only thing that really started making a difference for me. I had a very slow process as far as growing in faith and becoming a Christian is concerned. It was rough going (and still is sometimes). But God has really touched every aspect of my life and brought hope and healing to places that I just could not deal with/work out before, the very dark and very worst places within me and with my past. If it weren't for God I would have never made it through and become anything resembling a mature/well-adjusted person now. To be honest, without God I probably would have committed suicide years ago. Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit. There were various things that have been said in this thread that I just really saw glimmers of myself in. Thought maybe my two cents might be helpful or thought-provoking in some fashion.

Posted by: army_wife at December 12, 2009 9:43 PM