Abortion Recovery Awareness Month

by Carla

ARAM logo without date.pngApril is Abortion Recovery Awareness Month. If you are struggling after an abortion, there is help, hope, and healing for you.

If you feel guilt or shame, anger, confusion, are depressed, have suicidal thoughts, nightmares, increased drinking or drug use, or trouble bonding with subsequent children, please know you are not alone.

There are people all over the country that are waiting to offer you abortion recovery services. Here are just a few of them...

  • ARIN Abortion Recovery International
    A wealth of information from feelings you may be experiencing after abortion, stories from those affected by abortion and a site locator to find abortion recovery resources near you.

  • National Helpline for Abortion Recovery
    1-866-482-LIFE(5433)
    Post abortive men and women are waiting to answer your call and refer you to abortion recovery services in your area.

  • Rachel's Vineyard
    A healing retreat weekend for abortion recovery. Retreats are held in many countries around the world.
  • regret.jpg

  • Silent No More Awareness
    Affiliates throughout the country are very active in getting the word out by speaking the truth that abortion hurts women and men.

    It is a place to find others that have found healing after abortion. You can also share your story on the website with those who truly understand.

  • Fatherhood Forever Foundation
    Helping men find healing after abortion.

  • Operation Outcry
    If you would like to have your abortion story used to further pro-life legislation please go to the website and fill out a declaration. Operation Outcry has the world's largest body of evidence on the harmful effects of abortion.
  • The most important thing to realize is that you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. Others have traveled the path to find healing and you can, too.

    If you are struggling, please reach out for help. We will share with you the same love and support we were offered.

    I continue to walk the journey of abortion recovery. It would be a privilege and an honor to be here for you if you need me. Write me at carla@jillstanek.com.

    [Photo: silentnomoreawareness.org]


    Comments:

    testing

    Posted by: Chris Arsenault Author Profile Page at March 29, 2010 12:38 PM


    http://www.saveone.org/
    another good post abortion group

    Posted by: Susie at March 29, 2010 12:44 PM


    Abortion Recovery Awareness Month was founded by Abortion Recovery InterNational in April of 2005. ARIN provides an online calendar of suggestions to help promote healing opportunities to those hurting after abortion. You can find that calendar at:

    http://abortionrecoveryawarenessmonth.org

    You can find help if you're hurting from a past abortion through the Abortion Recovery CARE Directory at:

    http://www.abortionrecovery.org

    Abortion Recovery InterNational also provides training for those that wish to reach out to hurting men and women. Review our upcoming training in Southern California by visiting our conference website below:

    Abortion Recovery SHARE Symposium
    http://www.sharesymposium.org

    Posted by: Stacy Massey ~ Abortion Recovery InterNational at March 29, 2010 12:55 PM


    Great job Carla!

    Posted by: muriel at March 29, 2010 1:39 PM


    Carla I just sent you an email about our press conference on April 10th concerning Abortion Recovery Awareness Month...check it out.

    Posted by: Ann Marie at March 29, 2010 1:58 PM


    God says that all our sins are forgivable, however, there are conditions to that forgiveness. Sin that is not repented of is not forgivable as this insults the Spirit of Grace.

    We cannot be forgiven of abortion if we continue to be pro-choice which is indicative of a heart not converted.

    Church - pray, seek, repent, be transformed...fight the good fight of faith.

    The Lord is rich in mercy and grace, however, He is not mocked.

    Posted by: Phil Schembri is HisMan at March 29, 2010 2:07 PM


    I offer my simple song from the father's point of view "A Dream A Lot Like Mine" http://www.emmettgrayson.com

    Posted by: Emmett McCarthy at March 29, 2010 6:06 PM


    I forgot to note that I'd like to be notified by e-mail of other comments on this topic

    Posted by: Emmett McCarthy at March 29, 2010 6:10 PM


    I to am a grandmother who lost 3 grandchildren to abortion..have a 9yr old grandson,and another grandson born in July 2004 who my daughter adopted out.I have seen my daughter's whole personality change since the very first time it happened and has only gotten worse as she has difficulty bonding with her nine yr old son. It is evident, but she is still in denial and still believes abortion is fine.

    Posted by: Sherry Morrison Stegall at March 29, 2010 6:51 PM


    I am so sorry. I have no words, but that.

    Posted by: Emmett McCarthy at March 29, 2010 7:19 PM


    I have written a personal story about my own experience of abortion and the recovery and healing I found 25 years later. The small book is in PDF format and is called "Nameless No More: Finding Forgiveness After Abortion" and I'd be honored to send it to the grandmother who wrote above. If either grandma or Carla can connect us or send me an email, I'd love to send you both a free copy. God has truly blessed me by allowing me to be a vessel of His hope through my story. To HIM be the glory. Amen! Shadia Hrichi, Beautiful Voice Ministries (www.beautifulvoice.org)

    Posted by: Shadia Hrichi at March 29, 2010 10:18 PM


    To Sherry,

    It can takes years before a woman comes to the point of being able to even look at the abortion(s). When she does she will hit a wall of pain. You can however help her along in letting her know you know about the abortions and that no matter what you love her.

    I have a very close relative whom I knew had one abortion. For years she would not talk about it. But I didn't give up talking to her about it. Every once in awhile I would bring it up after years of having the phone slammed down on me she started to open up. After talking a few times about it she confessed she had two abortion and the second one was twins.

    It took another 3 years to get her to a Rachel's Vineyard Retreat for some healing. I picked her up afterwards and brought her to the store. In the middle of the meat section she grabbed me and kissed my cheek and said, "I have 4 children, I have 4 children), she has one child she allowed to live.

    Never give up. She is suffering deeply. The shame is so great it causes deep spiritural wounds. But these wounds can be healed...because HE died on the cross for all of us.

    Posted by: ann marie at March 30, 2010 6:25 AM


    Hello, Everyone- Recovery is possible. Don't expect too much knowledge, help, and guidance, however, from mainstream counseling, mental health, social work, psychology, or psychiatry. These professions are largely committed, for political reasons, not clinical reasons, to abortion access. The American Psychiatric Association has conducted their review of whether having an abortion leads to any mental health problems. I am posting the link to their statement so you can check this out yourself.

    http://www.psych.org/MainMenu/EducationCareerDevelopment/Library/BernsteinReferenceCenter/ResourceDocuments_1.aspx

    Basically, they conclude that if an already-born woman has an abortion, she may have mental or emotinal difficulties for a couple reasons: there is something wrong with her thinking, thinking that it was wrong, and so the "wrong" thinking causes the problem, OR the woman ALREADY had mental health issues, and the aborton was just another stessor, like a difficult boss or car trouble, in her life making her mental health get worse.

    The APA would have been good to help any guilt-ridden slave-holders back in the slavery days: this line of reasoning, and evidence eval., would have worked well.

    I say this for a few reasons; Don't be surprised if you go to a mental health professional and they cannot conceptualize your problem. They don't believe that people can suffer emotional difficulty after an abortion - which is ridiculous, since there area simply too many true stories out there. I have heard them from the women themselves, plus there are many on the web.

    If you have emotional difficulties following an abortion - it doesn't matter how long ago it might have been - consider yourself normal, even if the psychiatrists do not.

    Watch out for the old medication cure: the psychiatrist will hear your problem, code it into symptoms: depression, sleep, anxiety -- then translate that into medications. This is not a resolution, or a cure. You ca try it if you want, but as others know, your problems will re-emerge, if they go away at all. notably, watch out for "anxiolytics," anti-anxiety drugs that truly do not have any specific effect other than reducing anxiety; chemically, they are very similar to alcohol - they are central nervous system depressants, and so work the way alcohol works. These are mostly "benzodiazapenes," or "benzos," including the old favorite "valium," and currently popular "Xanax" and "Klonopin." If you need something like this for the short-term, consider it. But these only mask anxiety or dope you up; they are not cures. Google any drug they prescribe.

    If you want to get the help of a counselor, you can - but it will HAVE to be from someone sympathetic to the complicated aftermath of abortion, in ALL form: relief, guilt, uncomfortableness around babies, etc. I know that some Carenet sites have abortion recovery groups; these are structured, guided Bible study groups for women coping with the emotional and spiritual aftermath of having an abortion. They are conducted by people with training. They are very powerful, and supportive.

    That is just one source of care, among many supportive, sympathetic sources. You can find supportive psychiatrists, psychologists, etc. Just don't believe that most will be sympathetic, and understand how to help. Watch out for the worldly sources of care, including the leading professional psychiatric organization, that are fighting to stay ignorant of the emotional aftereffects of abortion.

    Posted by: Row1 at March 30, 2010 8:34 AM


    Shadia,
    I will leave your offer up to Sherry but I would LOVE to read your story!!
    carla@jillstanek.com

    Sherry,
    I am so, so sorry. There is hope and healing for you. I will be praying for you.

    Thank you all for your wonderful comments and ministries and resources for so many hurt after abortion!!

    The one thing I will NEVER forget on this journey of abortion recovery is the friends I have that have loved me unconditionally, walked with me, cried with me, held me, prayed for me and heard my story OVER and OVER and OVER again.....God's grace through friends. :)

    Posted by: carla Author Profile Page at March 30, 2010 9:22 AM


    Even though my song is written from the point of view of a father who has lost his chld ("A Dream A Lot Like Mine" posted above), the heartfelt response from women is always a lesson for me. If we are willing to just tell the truth about ourselves, it frees the other person to begin to see the same truth in themselves.

    Posted by: Emmett McCarthy at March 30, 2010 9:44 AM


    Emmett McCarthy...the first time I heard a man say he was sorry and felt pain from the lost of his child who was aborted was another layer of healing from my abortion.

    As more and more women and men come forth to speak the truth about abortion and the pain it causes us the more we need those who have not experienced abortion to open up their hearts to an understanding of how we could have aborted our own children.

    It is only through a repentant heart the healing can happen but it is through words of kindness and love to those who are suffering the pain that they will come to that place of regret and ask for forgiveness.

    Posted by: ann marie at March 30, 2010 10:37 AM


    Thanks for letting us know about this, I will definately have to blog on it. On this note, I've created a directory of Abortion Recovery Resources for those who may be hurting after a recent or past abortion: Abortion Recovery Resources

    Posted by: Rachael C. at March 30, 2010 10:38 AM


    Ann Marie - I didn't know it at the time I wrote the song and at first it was hard to play in public, but over time, I see the effect and even those who might call themselves "pro-choice" get the heart problems. Just seeing that there's a problem may be all I can do for some, but it's a start.

    Posted by: Emmett McCarthy at March 30, 2010 10:48 AM


    Carla,

    I admire you for your courage, your transparency and your authenticity.

    You keep going girl!

    yor bro ken

    Posted by: kbhvac at March 31, 2010 11:12 PM


    Will do, Ken my brother!! :)

    Posted by: Carla at April 1, 2010 8:53 AM