Here's a note I received and accompanying testimony, both of which the author gave me permission to post:
Jill,
I enjoyed reading your column, "Is God allowing abortion to save eternal lives?" What I found missing was the fact that many abortions (I've heard 20%) are committed by women who are professed Christians. Sadly, I have to include myself in that percent.
I have recently started telling my story and would love to share it with you. I think this is something that we do not discuss enough in the church and find that by sharing my story of sin and God's forgiveness that it is opening up a lot of dialogue with fellow christian singles who have confided similar stories to me. My story is attached.
Thank you for your research, insight and for being willing to look beyond the surface.
Read R's testimony on page 2. I responded to her that it was remarkably close to mine, even down to the Psalms speaking personally to me during times of need. I added, one thing I've learned is I'm incredibly prone to sin - my propensity freaks me out, actually - and it is only through continually trying to stay attached to my Father that I stand any chance of not slipping off the Rock.
R's testimony:
Where I come from -
- My dad was a missionary pilot in the Philippines, Bible college graduate, deeply involved in church ministry – choir, singles activities, youth groups... AND most importantly, a sinner who has been forgiven of all my sins.
Salvation - Age 15 during a Missions Conference at school. Having grown up knowing that Christ died for my sins, it wasn't until I was 15 that I realized I needed to acknowledge I am a sinner and ask God to forgive me. It went from being a head thing (something I knew) to a heart thing (something I believed).
The Testing of my Faith... was very subtle
- A few years after graduating from college, I was in a good job, driving a nice sports car and had moved out of my parents house and was living on my own
- Where I began to fail... Became overconfident in myself, lost sight of God in the midst of my success, Stopped private prayer, reading and studying Scripture and separated myself from God, where my strength for life had come from and quit going to church
- I became a very lonely person and for the next three years, spent my time looking for happiness in other areas of life... partying to the point that my work began to suffer, excessive drinking, sexual impurity, and particularly in looking for fulfillment through relationships with the wrong kind of men - to the point of being involved in both an emotionally and physically abusive relationship and later living with someone
Two years ago, after a long series of selfish choices, God sat me down hard. I had reached a point in my rollercoaster of relationships where everything I had ever believed was challenged, and I made the wrong choice - I was pregnant and I chose to have an abortion rather than ruin my career or let my parents find out what my lifestyle was.
Over the course of the next several months, I struggled ALONE with deep depression, suicidal thoughts, anger and the guilt and shame of what I had done. I had shattered my family's trust in me, emerged from a destructive relationship barely intact and was so absolutely overwhelmed by my sins that I spent nights crying in despair, wondering how I had reached this point in my life and wondering how in the world God could ever love me back to himself. 1John 3:9 says that no one born of God can live at peace with sin and God finally had my attention.
After a couple of months, I knew I could not do it alone anymore. I finally began taking painful steps to make changes in my world and life, beginning with the very difficult job of telling my family what I had done and then asking for their forgiveness - which was granted without question. I began attending Christian counseling and after many months of prayer and working through my grief, understood the depth of God's love and forgiveness. It was like taking a warm shower after being out in the cold snow all day... Completely washing over and covering me.
What impacted my world for the better in that dark time …
- A family that practices total forgiveness
- Scripture came alive... I would be reading a verse and it would come alive to me - particularly the Psalms
- God's grace became SO much more tangible to me
- Understanding the following:
Salvation is unconditional; friendship with the Father is conditional.
Our status in the family of God is unconditional, but our intimacy with Christ is conditional.
No matter what I do, I will always be a part of the family of God.
So where does that leave me?
- Growing - knowing the joy of being accepted for who I am and that God doesn’t not hold my sins against me, but forgives completely
- Daily awareness of the battle for my soul - I am constantly reminded of the battle when Satan tries to discourage me by telling me I'm not worth anything or when he tries to convince me that God can't love someone who has had an abortion.
- My battle with pride and self-reliance is daily and I often lose that battle - still want to be successful in life, I occasionally want to strangle a co-worker, I still struggle with guilt and shame even though I have been forgiven
- Small groups, Christian fellowship, hearing other's stories is vital to my spiritual growth, encourages my soul and keeps me accountable.
- God is an integral part of my day - in all details, in my prayers, in my searching through scripture – song on the radio
- Everything that happens, happens for a reason and everything works together for God's purpose. It's amazing to see how God brings opportunities for me to share my life experiences with others and to be an encouragement. I am joyful knowing that God will use my past and my story to help others understand His undeserved grace and unconditional love.
Comments:
R,
can hardly express my gratitude for your witness - all Christian faiths are filled with such normal-extraordinary souls! [Jesus makes us extraordinary!] We (Christians) have too often been accused of meddling.
Sorry guys 'the mire' is not where I nor my laws(the laws of MY country) belong. If you wish not to be victorious, then slither back under the rock from which you came.
Posted by: John McDonell at January 12, 2007 5:49 PMDear Jill:
The comment that appears in your column, "All things do work for good even through tragedy" would seem to be alluding to St. Paul's teaching that "We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." (Rom 8:28). It is not the same statement but could rather (depending on how it is understood) be a contradiction. God can bring good out of evil but that never makes evil good. That would be a philosophical contradiction. An act cannot be good and evil at the same time. Nor does it depend on a person's subjective point of view as that would be relativism which ignores objective reality.
If this truth is confused or ignored one falls prey to the principle "the end justify the means." Or stated differently, It is good to do evil. No, what Genesis is teaching in the story of Joseph is that God can bring good from the consequenes of evil. God can heal broken hearts and lives by bringing a person to repentance which involves a true objective change of heart. This is the work of grace- a true healing of the heart and soul in reality not a legal fiction. We are truly made a new creation. To see the contradiction better one could ponder St. Paul's teaching in Romans 3:8. Abortion is justified by the good consequences that come from it supposedly. Even if one could save the world by killing one innocent person it cannot be done. Embryonic stem cell research for cures supposedly justifies killing human embryos. It goes on and on. I particularly appreciate your exposing Obama's deception.
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