Doctor who lost family in tragic home invasion has new wife and son
by Kelli
Our son is a beautiful Thanksgiving and Christmas gift…. He is very lovable and sweet….
I will tell him of his two big sisters, Hayley and Michaela, and how they always helped others with smiles on their faces.
I am sure they and their mother, Jennifer, are smiling down upon him.
~ Dr. William Petit Jr., who “lost his first wife, Jennifer, 48, and daughters Hayley, 17, and Michaela, 11, in a brutal home invasion in July 2007,” and later remarried (pictured above with wife, left, and son, right; click to enlarge), as quoted by People, November 27
[Photos by Benoit Photography and Le Petit Studio, via NY Daily News]
Nov.28, 2013 2:20 am |
Pregnancy |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
I remember this story. Im glad he was able to rebuild his life. David Smith did the same though you can tell Smith is still tormented.
The pain of losing someone never goes away. Im a member of widow sites and we are all members of a club we never wanted to be in. I was finally able to remarry and try my best to put it behind me. I was shocked to learn that there are no marriages in heaven. Appreciate the people in your life because you never know when they will die. Lost 3 people this year. My husband step son and friend to murder suicide at the hands of her husband. 22 years old.
Beginning to sound Biblical. Is the incident a test or a temptation? Glad when you pass the test and pass on giving in to temptation!
Also lost 3 family members this year. Cancer, heart, and Alzheimer. Life is a journey. Hope we are ALL on our way to Heaven. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hi Patty. Sorry for your losses. Grief changes you. Im not the same person. I never will be. The loss of my husband almost drove me to suicide. But the devil lost again. Anytime he reminds me of my mistakes I remind him of his future. lol I am going to see Brad Nick and Megan again in paradise.
We are all here for a short time. Satan has come to rob kill steal destroy. He laughs with delight when you are hurting. I cried to the Lord and he says I am here with you. Satan is furious that Ive remarried. He wanted me dead. Sorry but you lose again. I expect him to be working overtime on me now.
I really doubt I would have been able to survive. I’m really glad he was able to pick up his life enough to continue living and have a new family.
Hi Jack. I agree. Idk how he managed. Same with David Smith. He put a gun in his mouth but reconsidered. He wanted to be with his boys. 2 of the worst stories Ive ever heard.
I can understand people living through the loss of one kid, but both your kids AND your wife? Especially in such a horrifying way? Idk I’m glad he and David Smith never killed themselves.
I don’t know why but I sorta feel like like his remarriage and new baby are a little disrespectful to his murdered family. It’s not like he really did anything wrong, and I suppose they aren’t alive so they can’t be offended. But I just cant help but thinking of it from the perspective of his family. If my mother sister and I were brutally raped and murdered and my father married I’d be deeply hurt. Again I’m not saying what he actually did was wrong, and I’m sure he was coping in his own way, but I just can’t get behind it because I wouldn’t want someone to do it to me, and wouldn’t do that to someone else.
Shannon would you want someone you loved to hurt and hate themselves if you died, forever, or eventually find some happiness?
Remarriage after a death is not disrespectful, at all. People aren’t meant to be alone.
Honestly I think it would be incredibly selfish for someone to expect their spouse/parent to never remarry after losing their family. Why would you want your dad/mom to never have any happiness again? As a dad I can tell you the grieving the lost child would never stop, even after having another child. The dead child would not be forgotten.
Jack you make some great points as usual but I can also see Shannons POV. I thought widows who moved on quickly were selfish too. I didnt want to date as it made me feel like a cheater. Grief brings out strange emotions. I even unfriended a facebook widow because she had put up In A Relationship. (Shrug) i couldnt tell you why i felt this way.
His family died six years ago. I’m sure they would want their dad and husband to find some small bit of happiness instead of wallowing in pure grief for the rest of his life. David Smith also married about six years after his children died. I don’t get why people would ever think that those who lose their spouses/kids should remain alone. It’s not all that healthy to be alone. Six years is plenty respectful to his family.
I agree Jack. 6 years is a long time. I didnt want to wallow in despair so I remarried. However as strange as it sounds at first you feel like you are cheating. I was surprised to see that many widows chose never to marry again. Had I died instead of Brad I would have wanted him to find a good woman.
Jack,
I dunno. Ive seen Men remarrying much faster and at much greater rates then widowed women so perhaps gender plays a role in it. But honestly it is just nothing I would ever be able to congradulate.
I just hate how he refers to his first wife as well his first wife. She was his WIFE. his wife. She was raped, murdered and then literally replaced, with a younger model I might add. I wouldn’t want my family members to be unhappy but you dont need a wife or replacement kids to be happy. Even if my husband had another girlfriend after I died that would be one thing, but to make her his WIFE, she is literally being replaced. Again, I certainly think he had the right to do it, but I just think it’s disrespectful
Remarriage for young widows is about the same for young widowers, young people are equally likely to remarry. The gender gap only comes into play for older men, and it’s almost entirely due to the fact that men die younger, so an elderly lady has much less options for remarriage than an elderly man does (like five elderly women to every elderly man).
You’re entitled to your opinion and your judgment of how someone deals with a situation you’ve never experienced and hopefully never will, but it’s an exceedingly selfish opinion of yours.
His second wife and child are not “replacing” anything. Have you been married and do you have children? I could have fifty kids, but nothing could replace the one who died. You will NEVER forget or replace your dead child, if you are unfortunate to lose one. I guarantee you he thinks of his first wife and daughters every day. But love is not finite, he has enough for everyone. I’m sure his wife and daughters were not selfish, and would be happy to know that he’s trying to make a life.
You shouldn’t judge like that, and it’s exceedingly, horribly selfish if you think that someone who was married to you shouldn’t be able to seek marriage with someone else over five years after your death.
If I ever remarry and end up dying, I sincerely hope my wife would find someone soon and remarry if it would make her happy. People aren’t meant to be alone and have no family. I would want my hypothetical wife to have more kids too if ours died and she wanted more, people should have plenty of family.
I want to be remembered, but I would not want someone’ I loved to have their life ruined because of my death. You don’t genuinely love someone if you would deny them happiness with someone else.
Not sure that I could start another relationship equivalent to marriage and have more children six years after experiencing what he has. But who knows, events have a habit of overtaking us.
But I sure as heck don’t see why he should commit to a permanent state of abject misery. He will always carry great pain, why is it wrong to ameliorate it from utterly devastating to terribly dreadful. He doesn’t need to be a martyr.
I think I could live through the loss of a wife or one child, but losing all my kids and my wife would probably end me. I’m sincerely glad he didn’t kill himself years ago, it’s certainly something I’m sure crossed his mind.
Hi Shannon I would just have to disagree with you on one point. IMO the new wife looks like the deceased wife quite a bit. Not sure he exactly traded his deceased wife in for a younger or newer model.
I am very happy for him and for his wife and new little one.
6 years was time enough for him. I love how he said he will tell his son about his older sisters.
His family that died is still precious to him. Obviously.
Shannon if you were raped and murdered you wouldn’t be deeply hurt by your father remarrying.
You would be in eternity and not caring all that much about what goes on here.
My mom remarried 4 years after my dad died suddenly and 2 years after my step-dad’s wife died of cancer. Now 25 years later I am so very thankful they have each other.
My husband and I have talked about this. My husband says he would never remarry but not only would I not want him to be alone I would not want my sons to grow up without a mother.
My friend’s wife died of cancer earlier this year. She was sick for years. They knew for the last year there was no hope. They had a small pre-school aged daughter. 6 weeks after her death he was dating again and he was engaged 4 months later and will be married in 2 months. So 7 months after his wife’s death he will be remarried. Only the new wife was someone he knew prior to his wife’s death (his wife’s friend) and his wife wanted him to move on. Still some people were mad at him and railed against him but the guy is only 30. He has a young daughter who needs a mom, he doesn’t want to be alone and his wife was dying for a while. He said he did all his grieving before she died. I can’t judge him because he didn’t cheat or leave his wife when she was sick. He stood by her and was her care-giver as she died. He was very loyal and fought for her life until there was no hope. Why shouldn’t he be able to move on and love again?
Anyhow, I am happy for Dr. Petit and wish him and his new wife and baby nothing but happiness!
This was a truly horrific case. I’m all for the doc’s happiness.
Tell you what – if ever there was an argument for the death penalty and for not spending the millions of Dollars our court appeals process takes, this is one. My opinion.
“Still some people were mad at him and railed against him but the guy is only 30. He has a young daughter who needs a mom, he doesn’t want to be alone and his wife was dying for a while. He said he did all his grieving before she died. ”
I think people sometimes forget that the death of a young spouse was very common throughout history, way way more than it is today. In previous centuries up to 20% of women could die in childbirth, and men very often died from work accidents or war. Also, if a young person got cancer they were pretty much toast, as well if they contracted something like tuberculosis or malaria or smallpox. Children were also very likely to die, infant mortality was horrendous and childhood diseases such as measles, mumps, rubella and whooping cough killed many children. It was more common than not to have one of your children die before age ten, and sometimes a childhood illness would wipe out an entire family’s children.
And people nearly always remarried if they lost a spouse young, and they generally had more children . A young father who loses his wife really needed another wife to help him raise his children and take care of the home, and a young mother who lost her husband had very few options except for remarriage. Families who lost their children nearly always had more. Remarriage after a spouse dies has always been a common and necessary thing throughout much of history. Even if it’s not financially necessary today, it is still human nature to seek out companionship and someone to help raise your children after a death takes your spouse. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your first spouse or care about your child who died, it just means that you need to have a family.
I mean, divorce obviously isn’t death, but the vast majority of divorced people remarry, especially if they divorce young. It is preferable to raise kids with two parents, single parenthood is rough, and people need companionship. I really wish people wouldn’t judge those who remarry, whether it be divorce or death that made them single.
I think if you genuinely love your spouse or parent you would want them to find someone who loves them and makes them happy if you died, especially if you died young or in a particularly horrific and traumatic way. I don’t think it’s okay to judge people for remarrying, it’s actually pretty cruel in my opinion.
Well I met Mark and Brad died in February. I love them both but I love them in a different way. At 44 Im not planning to have anymore children but my burial plot is next to Brads. Mark is fine with this. One day I had a feeling that finally said ….its okay you can let go. Brad is in paradise so why worry? Most of the widows who wouldnt remarry had been married for 40 50 years. Met in high school or grade school.
And Mark said he will adopt my son if I want him to. So although part of me feels cheated….should be Brad watching Jacob get on the school bus or picking him up from school…this was not Gods plan. Life can pull the rug out from under you when you least expect it.
I wish this man all the happiness life has to offer, especially after the absolute devastation he has been through. It is a blessing that six years (not WEEKS or even MONTHS later), he found someone to build a life with. There is absolutely no reason why this man, a widow, should have been stopped from marrying again. Some people don’t even find love once in this world, so the fact that he suffered so deeply and then was able to even open himself up to marriage again is a real blessing. My opinion.
If ever there were poster children for the death penalty, its those two dirtbags.
I wouldn’t want my children to NOT have a mother either if I passed away.
It’s all relative. Here’s an old boy who had 29 wives:
http://interestingthings.info/facts/most-married-man-had-29-wives-and-28-divorces.html
Mary: If ever there were poster children for the death penalty, it’s those two dirtbags.
Mary, as in past years, while there are a couple things we disagree on, there are some others where we definitely are on the same page.
Marriage is for the living. God bless Dr. Petit and his new family. What tremendous blessings they will be to each other!
Jack, you are so right. My grandmother’s older half-sister was the first of my great grandfather’s children. Her mom died giving birth to her in March of 1910. My great grandmother was a 15 year old immigrant from Czechoslovakia. She didn’t speak a word of English and had no family here. My great grandfather was 30. He said to her “I’ll marry you and give you a home and you will look after my daughter.” She agreed to this out of necessity. They didn’t love each other when they married in January of 1912 (a few months before Titanic went down!) but by the time he died years later of tuberculosis they loved each other very much. They went on to have more children including my grandmother. My great aunt died a few years ago at 99 years old! She never married or had children but was a Sunday School teacher in a very urban area in NYC for 70 years and so many people loved her. She was so loving and giving. She was like a grandmother to me.
My cousin named her daughter after my great-aunt’s mom even though we weren’t blood-related to that poor woman. I’m sure this baby boy will grow up knowing about his dad’s first wife and his two older half-sisters and his line will honor them as well.
I’m very happy for them!
However, and I’m sorry to be a Debbie Downer here, but I can’t help but feel bad for baby that the father is 57 years old. His dad will nearly be 80 when he graduates college! I just hope the baby doesn’t have to deal with more death at a young age when he already lost two sisters before he was even born.
SM: I can’t help but feel bad for baby that the father is 57 years old. His dad will nearly be 80 when he graduates college! I just hope the baby doesn’t have to deal with more death at a young age
The Social Security Administration – which knows a lot about how long people live – says a 57 year old man will live, on average, 23.6 more years. 80.6 it would be in this case.
For Connecticut, life expectancy for men is 77.7 overall.
The doc looks like he’s in decent shape, and he’s a doctor, after all. With that in mind, and then all other things being equal, I bet he lives well into his 80s.
Still, the baby is gonna lose his dad when he’s relatively young. I’d say he’ll know the deal all along though – once he’s old enough to understand.
Again guys,
I get it I really do. And we’ll have to agree to disagree. I couldnt imagine loving someone deeply though and having them be raped and murdered and just marrying someone else. I think it’s profoundly just…wow. I don’t need to judge this guy because it really doesnt matter and I am sure he is doing what he needs to do. Its just something I could never co-sign
Had the same feelings with my husband being 50. He died when our son was 3. I was so numb with grief i cant even begin to tell you. My son kept going to the phone wanting to call daddy. One day I was so exhausted I took some Dr prescribed sedatives …too tired to cry I just slept for hours.
And might I add that grief never goes away. People told me it wiill get easier and i refused to believe that. I go to Widowhood Village. We are all different ages. A few women were widowed twice. It got better but losing a person who you loved never leaves your heart. God loved Brad more than I did and took him home. But it never goes away. God blessed me with a wonderful husband.
As lady at widowhood village said Dont forget we will sadly have widows joining us in 2014. Unless the husband was terminal none of the widows saw it coming. I wouldnt wish the pain on anyone.
Shannon,
Yes we will have to agree to disagree. :)
He didn’t “just” marry someone else though. 6 years is a long time to process.
Hi Carla and Shannon,
Life is for the living. What can we expect of this man, that he spend the rest of his life lighting black candles and staring out his window?
What a horror this man endured. He will live with it every minute of every day for the rest of his life. If he can find some peace and happiness in a new wife and baby, then we should all be thankful and happy for him. I don’t care if he’s 57y/o or 157y/o.
I guess its best put this way. Brad was my soulmate. I loved him and our beautiful son sealed the deal. Suddenly its gone. I always thought….that would never happen to me. That happens to other people. Well its happened. God knew I couldnt take much more so he blessed me with another husband.
Please keep all widows and widowers in prayer. It is beyond horrible. Many are 5 years in and want only to be with their husbands. Youve lost your best friend. Many have chosen to get pets. Some have remarried. Its really up to the individual.
Hi Mary,
Never expected this husband to stare out a window for the rest of his life.
Which is why I disagreed with Shannon.
I am thrilled for him!!
Hi Carla,
I know.
I was just making a general comment, not really directed at anyone, disagreeing with Shannon and agreeing with you.
Heather you didn’t do anything wrong by remarrying, God knows you deserve a little happiness after all you’ve been though. I bet if Brad were here he would be ecstatic that you managed to find someone to help you, and that your son will have a stepfather who will help raise and care for him.
Shannon like I said you’re entitled to your opinion and if you’re ever widowed of course it would be your right to never remarry. And I’m sorry, it’s my opinion it’s incredibly selfish to expect someone to never remarry after a death. I don’t believe you really love someone if you would begrudge them a happy marriage after your death. That’s not a point of view I could ever cosign. And I think it’s more possessiveness than love to expect that.
Carla: Never expected this husband to stare out a window for the rest of his life.
Was he gonna be singing, “Someday my Prince will come….”? ;)
Shannon – you put yourself in the place of his family, and it’s understandable that you might feel that way. Putting yourself in his place, and with years going by – who knows?
Not saying that time will necessarily “heal all wounds,” here, but multiple years go by….
I would guess it is less of a “time heals all wounds” thing than a “maybe I can have a little bit of happiness with what’s left of my life”. I dont think you ever are genuinely “healed” from losing your children (and your wife if it was a loving relationship, and it seemed like they were very close), particularly in such a brutal way.
Jack, agreed that it probably never totally goes away, but while almost all of us have just been aware of it peripherally, a few times over all the years since, the doc lived it every second, for a while, and then every minute, every hour, and many times a day – probably all the way to now or close.
It really is a horrifying deal, and we’re fresh to it. The doc was saturated right away and for a long time; all it could do was lessen, after a while. You and I may be talking about the same thing, really, but your quote “maybe I can have a little bit of happiness…” seems like a conscious thing, while I’m thinking that maybe it happens on the subconscious level.
Shannon I can see your point. Would everyone be so happy if the roles were reversed, if the doctor was a female, married again, and somehow had a baby at age 48? People here have expressed disgust with women who use reproductive technologies to have children in their forties and fifties. Why is it okay to be an old dad but not an old mom?
Shannon isn’t complaining about him being old, she complaining that he got remarried. She thinks it was disrespectful of him to remarry after his wife was murdered. I think that’s a selfish mindset.
I don’t see what business it is of anyone else what age someone is when they have a child. Some parents are old, sure. There are also those who choose I have a child when they are young but have a serious chronic disease. I don’t believe anyone else has the right to tell someone else they can’t have a kid.
I agree and disagree with Shannon. I agree that for some it can look like a replacement. However, it’s been 6 years. For him, that’s the time he needed. (And six years is actually longer than a lot of men wait–from what I’ve seen). If it had been 2 weeks, then I would be more on the whole “He shouldn’t remarry right now it’s too soon.” or thinking it’s disrespectful in someways. However, I’m sure he means no disrespect to his deceased wife and remarrying isn’t meant that way. Nor is it truly disrespect.
Having lost my best friend this year quite suddenly, I get where Shannon is coming from, however, the marriage vows are completed after someone dies (that’s why they say “until death do we part”). There is no marriage after death because when we’re in Heaven there is no need for the signs and signals of Heaven because we’ll be IN Heaven. Marriage and other sacraments are foretastes of Heaven, so when you have the real thing you don’t need the sign.
Years go by, younger woman, more than young enough to be his daughter, doctor+major wood, nature takes its course.
Jesus would never condone divorce….but this is not divorce when your wife passes away. Like Shannon, I would never consider remarrying because I entered into my marriage thanking God for my wife and asking for God’s blessing on our union and I would only marry once. My wife will always be my wife even if she passes.
There is a definite double standard about “older mothers” and women marrying younger men.
Its easy to say how we would react if a spouse passed. Myself, I wouldn’t remarry but I have various reasons for that, some very selfish. Also, my mother, and eventually my brother and I, had to help care for a stepparent as well as a natural parent. I wouldn’t subject my kids to that. They can take care of their dad and me, serves them right.
All that aside, age is just a number and I wish the doctor and his new family every happiness.
I think that any feelings that it is disrespectful or inappropriate for this man to remarry now stem from an understandable place of not being able to truly contemplate the enormity and finality of what’s happened. We can’t move beyond the initial days of comprehending and coping with such a thing, because it’s impossible to do unless you absolutely have to and have no other options short of, I guess, not living at all anymore. When you lose your loved ones like this, I think that in some ways you lose them every single day, forever. In the midst of such emotional devastation, I think it’s absolutely wonderful when people can still find a way to bring love into their lives.
His new wife is 36 years old or something like that. It’s hardly like he went out and got a brand new “younger model” or any of the implications some people have made on this thread. I think it’s understandable if he wanted to have another child; children give life – and work – and even tragedy – purpose. He has spent six years with all his work going to honor his children, but it will not benefit them in any way, and that must feel quite empty and hollow and alone. People naturally want to pass their work and their love down to a child. And I think it’s very natural that he would want to have another child. And so I think it’s perfectly understandable that he ended up marrying a woman who could still have children. Not a child herself – actually maybe approaching the end of her child-bearing years.
The problem people have here with advanced-age mothers is mostly that IVF is involved, which creates and destroys embryos. To my knowledge, there is no such complication involved with an older father, though there certainly are others, and I’m sure this family will deal with those difficulties as best they can, just like every other family in the world deals with its own unique difficulties.
Madonna Badger, who lost all three of her children as well as her parents in a Christmas house fire two years ago, is also engaged to be remarried. She has spoken openly of suicide attempts and of being consumed by desires and plans to end her own life – because the enormity of this sort of thing is such that, I truly think, either you move forward and keep living your life, or you die. She was already divorced, so maybe it’s different implications for people here, I don’t know. Regardless, I don’t know that she will have more children but I do find myself truly amazed and inspired that she has been able to find it in herself to even feel love again, much less invest emotionally in anything. Likewise, a family who lost all three of their children in that horrible wrong-way-driver accident on the Taconic Parkway some years ago, now have another child. I honestly don’t know that I could – I think I might just opt out of the rest of my life and commit suicide – and I think it’s a testament to the strength of people and to the strength of love that such a thing – remarriage, future children – is even possible.
I don’t think any of those people, had you asked them prior to their tragedies if they “could ever” marry again or have children again “if” such a thing “ever happened,” would have answered yes. I think they all probably would have instinctively felt horror at the mere question, and then a dull sense that – no – they could never move on, could never even think of starting another family. Because you CAN’T think of it. That’s the starting point, and that’s the point that most of us are extremely lucky enough to never, ever move from. But that doesn’t mean it’s healthy, or even right, to stay at that point forever, should the unthinkable happen.
Life is always changing. One spouse will die first unless youre in an accident together. So at 44 I have a 3 year old. Mark wanted to help me so I finally caved and said okay. Crying every day wasnt getting me anywhere. My health was failing. Finally I said okay let brad go. Hes in a wonderful place. Remarriage isnt the cure all but brad cant come back. I still have pain and depression but Mark makes it better. I think of my brad every day.
“”There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more”
The Beatles
My wife and I agree that our children’s consideration comes first. Our “its all about me” days have long passed into the sunset, haha.
It may have been easier on Dr. Petit since there were no surviving children but if there were, perhaps that would make a difference for him. It’s tough on young children to absorb another “mommy” or “daddy” relatively shortly after death. That makes it that more difficult to move on. Not that my wife or I would seek permission from our boys to do so however their readjustment would come first.