Mother and daughter reunited after 77 years apart
by Kelli
Walking in the woods with her best friend one warm afternoon, the real world barreled into her idyllic life. Three men approached the 16-year-old girls; they were separated. [Minka] Disbrow, who still believed storks delivered babies, was raped by a man in a cowboy hat who called himself “Mack.”
Bloody and sore, Disbrow and her friend returned home.
Neither spoke of what had occurred, but her body spoke for her. Months later, when her belly swelled, her mother pulled her aside and asked whether she had “known” any boys. Disbrow revealed the attack. Only then did her mother explain, pointing to her stomach, that “babies grow here.”…
On May 22, 1929, Disbrow, 17, gave birth to a beautiful girl she called Betty Jane.
When the bundle was lowered into her arms, Disbrow drank in everything about the baby, from her thin lips to her pink cheeks and wisp of blond hair.
It was love at first sight….
Disbrow felt conflicted. Her love was so strong. But she knew life on a farm, as a single woman with no education, was no life for this baby.
Meanwhile, a Lutheran clergyman and his wife desperately wanted a baby girl and contacted the House of Mercy. Disbrow was thrilled by the match….
Disbrow wrote regularly [to the agency]… to inquire about Betty Jane…. Responses were kind but purposefully vague. Often her letters received no reply.
Her only memento was a black-and-white photo taken before the child was taken away…. For two decades, she wrote, penning some 60 letters….
Every year, she reached for that faded black-and-white photograph and said a prayer for Betty Jane on her birthday. She did the same in 2006 on Betty Jane’s 77th birthday. She prayed that God would finally let her meet her daughter.
~ Susannah Cahalan, telling the incredible story about how a birth mother and her daughter were reunited after more than 77 years apart, New York Post, May 11
[HT: Todd S.]
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Oh my heart.
And THAT is the miracle of life and enduring love!!! And THAT is why we encourage women to choose LIFE
no matter the circumstances of conception. Adoption is a loving option!!
The shame belongs to the rapist “Mack” NOT to this precious mother and her beautiful daughter.
Thank you Lord for your perfect timing.
Very touching–and I’m so thankful that open adoption is the norm these days.
Oh my goodness. Wow. What a powerful story and I am so happy they were able to see each other.
It makes me grateful for open adoptions now, and also a society that isn’t quite so hard on single moms (I know, I know, being a single mom is really really hard but it’s more common now than it was back then, I think, and if she really wanted her baby, she could have kept her). But how beautiful that they were able to finally meet!
Wow. Just wow.
I really don’t find this great or life-affirming. It’s tragic. So a young rape victim who very obviously wanted to keep HER baby couldn’t find support in that place and time period, and this “loving” minister and his wife couldn’t even bother to keep her updated on her child’s well-being much. Yes yes, people will tell me that it was a different time and place, that doesn’t make it less wrong though.
She never should have had to give her child up since it’s pretty obvious she didn’t want to. I’m glad I live in a time where single mothers and rape victims have way more options. At the very least that “loving” minister and his wife should have kept her fully updated and allowed her to meet her child. It shouldn’t have taken 77 years for them to reunite.
It made me really sad too, Jack. It is a powerful story in that it’s sad but emotionally riveting and she did finally find her daughter.
That must be hard, though, after 77 years.
That’s why I’m glad we live when we do, in a time when moms can keep their babies easier or when they can see their babies with open adoptions.
Placing their babies in another home is the hardest thing for moms in that situation. At least from what I’ve seen in counseling. It’s so hard to release that baby to someone else.
And as pro lifers we should not gloss over that, nor should we gloss over the fact that pregnancy is hard, etc. Yes it is really hard. So is adoption. But when the alternative is killing, even a situation like this is better. At least her daughter was able to live, and not be killed in an abortion mill somewhere.
There are elements in this story that are tragic. They happened. That is the way it went. That is the reality of what they went through.
But there is nothing tragic about the joy in their faces. And that TODAY that have each other.
Well as pro-lifers I think we should condemn the anti-mother, anti-family practices of the past (that still happen on occasion even in the US) while we (rightfully) are happy that she finally got to reunite with her beloved child.
I can’t imagine having no idea how my child was or where she was, if she was being taken care of properly or if she was even alive. For 77 years. I never want our society to go back to where that was the norm for unmarried women who get pregnant, especially pregnancy by rape. And the words “preserve your good name” should never be uttered to someone who has been raped.
Okay, I’m done. I am very happy that they reunited finally. It should have happened decades ago, if there was no way for her to raise her child herself.
It was just the social “norm” back then, Jack.In that day and age, at that time – it just was not done. Unwed pregnancy was a “stigma”. Girls were sent away to relatives, or to homes for unwed mothers, and their babies were put up for adoption. Too often, mothers gave birth, and weren’t even allowed to SEE their babies. No picture – nothing. Even when I was born (1965) it STILL was a stigma. My (unwed) mother was only 20, but she kept me. Even in the 60’s, I was referred to as the ‘B’ word.
I’m very happy this mother was able to find her daughter.
“It was just the social “norm” back then, Jack.In that day and age, at that time – it just was not done.”
I’m well aware of that, I just think it’s a particularly cruel and unjust social norm that I’m thoroughly glad is mostly gone. I’ve read a lot of stories from women (and even some young unwed fathers) who lost their babies during the Baby Scoop era and they still get me every time.
It was the agency, not the adoptive parents, who gave vague or no responses to Minka Disbrow. I don’t think it’s fair to demonize the adoptive family.
Yeah I misread it as the adoptive parents ignoring and blowing her off but you’re right it was the agency.
Still doesn’t excuse them entirely, though, imo. Adoptive parents had all the power back then, and the unwed teen girls basically none. If they had chosen to they could have gotten her name and kept her updated. Yes, I know it wasn’t done back then and no, I don’t think they meant her harm deliberately. I’m just mad she suffered for 77 years and didn’t get to see her daughter again until she was 94.
“Well as pro-lifers I think we should condemn the anti-mother, anti-family practices of the past”….
I think that’s what we do here every day. In this particular moment we are taking pause to celebrate that this mother and child were reunited despite the crimes against them by the culture. If we’re not going to stop and smell the roses where they bloom (even amongst the manure), we’re going to grow weary to the point of surrender and all will be lost.
I am happy that Minka andBetty Jane were protected from abortion, and thus they could be reunited so joyfully after all of these tragic years.
If abortion had been available and legal 77 years ago, Minka would have suffered the life-long loss of her child, and still be suffering today. Betty Jane would not have been alive to enjoy her life and this reunion. And Betty Jane’s husband and children and grandchildren — all of their lives and loves and adventures would never have been.
This story is about the long suffering of a mother and child, separated by some tragic norms of the past and reunited after decades. But it is also a celebration of lives that were not destroyed by abortion, which is the far more tragic norm of today.
Wow, what a precious, amazing story. I’m thrilled that the mom lived so long, not only to meet her precious daughter, but then to have had these last few years with her. I praise God for this.
Amazing story and an excellent book as well. 32 Amazon reviews and every one is a five-star review. What a remarkably strong woman. There is more available about the book at http://www.thewaitingbook.com.
Thanks for that info, Flipper14! I would love to get the book.
Claire, you are welcome.