Moral of the story: Don’t depend on abortion for birth control or have sex with creeps
On June 3, RH Reality Check’s Andrea Grimes wrote about the “abortion access crisis” in East Texas where, due to clinic closures, women are being forced to “travel hundreds of miles roundtrip to Houston, Dallas, or Shreveport for legal abortion care.”
Save one, the examples Grimes gave to draw sympathy didn’t, at least from me:
“I am 23 years old. I live in McAllen. I’m a single mother, with one child.” Another: “I’m from Mercedes, I’m 33 years old, a mother of two, and I’m living with my parents.” And another: “I just turned 18 years old. I am unemployed and a full-time college student. I cannot afford to have a child.”…
The stories of East Texans who seek abortion care… are as varied as the folks who live there: there’s the woman left “high and dry” by an ex who “didn’t really care” about her pregnancy, the newly pregnant woman already raising a 10-month-old, the woman whose partner “disappeared as soon as she told him about the pregnancy,” the woman who went in for a prenatal check-up only to find her baby had no cranial structure.
Setting aside the tragic case of the mother carrying a handicapped baby, the other six supposedly tragic figures knew how babies are made and either knew they didn’t want one or exercised poor judgment and chose to have sex with creeps.
How many of those women, like Emily Letts (pictured left), didn’t even try to preempt pregnancy by using contraception? How many of the men they had sex with didn’t care?
How many may have used contraception but were lulled into a false sense of security to believe it works, when most methods have a high failure rate?
It’s time women in states with disappearing abortion clinics woke up to the fact they can no longer rely on abortion for primary or “back-up” birth control.
Contrary to feminist myth, sex is not a bodily function that can’t be stopped. It’s an action, a decision, a behavior.
Over at Talking Points Memo, abortion proponent Robin Marty warned of a coming abortion backlog due to “TRAP laws” being enacted around the country:
Planned Parenthood, the only other Milwaukee clinic, has stated they already have a two to three week wait for patients to get in for terminations, and that if AMS is closed that wait will likely extend to eight to 10 weeks in order to handle the additional 2,500 patients a year.
That would make almost every patient need to seek a second trimester procedure, which increases the price drastically, or go to the next closest available city “abortion friendly” city….
As if any of this is the fault of any other than shoddy abortion clinics that can’t even live up to the same standards as veterinary clinics; crackpot, circuit-riding abortionists who can’t get hospital admitting privileges; or women who play Russian Roulette with their reproductive systems.
A feminist with common sense would be telling these women to take back their self-respect and stop having casual sex – no sex unless they are in a committed relationship with “a ring on it,” and where both partners are prepared to raise their children together if a pregnancy should happen, even if unintended.
Because obviously, the current anything-but-that advice of liberal feminists isn’t working.
But no, we have are feminists who are so brainwashed about abortion they are in turn brainwashing the next generation, coddling their poor decisions along the way.
This despite the obvious and catastrophic failures (examples were Grimes’, not mine) of the “reproductive freedom” mentality.
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
You hit a raw nerve in the live and let live community. Why are you having sex in those situations?? How many times do counselors in prc’s ask the question…is marriage a possibility here only to get the answer….I wouldn’t want to marry HIM! Really? You just had sex with someone you wouldn’t want to marry? What is wrong with this picture?
There’s this fallacy in the Prolife community that marriage somehow prevents the need for abortion but it doesn’t. I’m married. My partner & I do not want children. We take precautions (which you “encourage” in this article while simultaneously demonizing in another) but if I became pregnant, I would abort. My career, my finances & my health are too important to me to risk with a pregnancy. And beyond that, I don’t want children so the risk of the pregnancy is of no benefit to me.
Should my husband and I stop having sex because we don’t want children?
Liz, here’s several prominent words you usedf in your post:
I- used 6 times
Me- used 2 times
My- used 5 times
I believe you when you say you choose not to make room in your marriage to have a family. Sounds pretty isolated and ungratifying to me, especially if (as you say) you’re willing to go to the extreme of having your offspring destroyed in order to execute your plan of putting yourselves and your dreams and goals first.
First off we don’t know that the women exercised “poor judgment” in their choice of partners. Bad or immature people can often pretend to be good and mature people when you first get to know them. I don’t think it’s fair to judge the women without knowing the whole story.
“My career, my finances & my health are too important to me to risk with a pregnancy. And beyond that, I don’t want children so the risk of the pregnancy is of no benefit to me.”
Well, why haven’t you guys both gotten snipped then? If you really think you can’t handle a kid that’s your choice, but why wouldn’t you want to take proactive steps to prevent the situation of being faced with an unplanned pregnancy with some doomed baby? If he got a vasectomy and you got Mirena or something, the chances you’d get pregnant are almost nil.
And as to your question, I’d rather be celibate for life than have a baby of mine die.
Mary Ann I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her not wanting to have a child. Not everyone makes a good parent, and people who don’t like or want kids tend to make really bad parents. I don’t want children in the home of someone who doesn’t want them around. But the time for deciding you want kids is before they exist (you know, when they are fetuses they do exist!), after that you don’t have to raise them but you shouldn’t be allowed to kill them.
Mary-Ann,
I don’t really care how you feel about how I choose to live MY life. Of course I’m going to use me, my & I when speaking about my life lol should women not do that?
So I should join a nunnery instead of having a happy life with my partner because I *might* have to have an abortion some day?
DPL,
We haven’t gotten “snipped” because neither of us wants to undergo unnecessary surgery. As stated, we both take precautions (birth control & condoms) to avoid pregnancy.
Why do you see it as “unnecessary” surgery? Is abortion not a medical procedure (that’s more invasive than a vasectomy for sure, and more invasive than permanent female birth control like Essure as well) with risks? It seems to me if a child is that awful you’d try to get the most effective birth control options out there, vasectomies in particular are very effective and have very little side effects.
Even if you don’t care about your doomed hypothetical baby, I don’t see why you’d want to put yourself through a procedure like abortion if you don’t have to. BC and condoms fail, often enough. Surgical sterilizations definitely have less pregnancy rates, especially if he got the snip and you got a permanent option like Essure (I get why women don’t want tubals, they are pretty invasive).
Liz,
How about you getting a tubal ligation and/or your husband getting a vasectomy?
Tubals are done laprascopically on an outpatient basis and involve minimal invasion.
DLP,
I see it as unnecessary because after speaking with my doctor and my husband that’s the conclusion I came to. Why are you so interested in my personal medical decisions?
We’ve been very successful with our current precautions but I appreciate your concern!
You’re the one who brought up your life and birth control habits, not me. My concern is your hypothetical baby. You’re gonna do what you want, I really do hope you never get pregnant.
I think it’s selfish that your husband won’t get a minor, very safe procedure so you don’t have to possibly go through a procedure like an abortion, though. Even if we don’t care about the baby here, vasectomies have less complications than abortions do.
DPL,
My husband’s body belongs to him and he has a right to self determination or to be “selfish” with his body.
It’s really bizarre how you guys think other people should be obligated to do things with their bodies.
Cheers!
Liz,
DLPL is correct, you’re the one who brought up you life and birth control habits.
If you don’t want children fine, but tubal ligations are minimally invasive, certainly no more so than an abortion, and you’d leave the outpatient clinic or hospital a few hours later. I can’t see where this is anymore time consuming or bothersome than an abortion.
Also, you would never have to concern yourself with pregnancy again.
Your husband could have a vasectomy in a doctor’s office. You could be doubly safe and both of you be rendered sterile.
I saw a lot of women like you. We don’t want children or any more children. So freaking get your tubes tied! They’d end up pregnant, have an abortion, THEN have a tubal ligation. Go figure.
And I think it’s bizarre how people think children should die for their parent’s lifestyle choices, but each to their own I suppose.
I think most decent men would rather themselves go through a minor procedure than their wives go through an invasive one, but whatevs.
Liz,
LOLLL. You come on this blog discussing your birth control habits then accuse people of telling you what to do with your body when we suggest ways you could prevent pregnancy permanently, which you say you want to do.
Also, since your husband is half of this marriage and decision, then he does not have any right to be “selfish”.
Also, we don’t have the right to do whatever we want with our bodies. We can’t go to school unvaccinated, and we can’t drive drunk. Liz, you and your husband are just like someone who decides to drive drunk, regardless of the potentially lethal consequences to other people, “because it’s my body and my choice.” Extremely naracisstic and selfish.
I brought up my “birth control habits” lol because I knew I’d be met with screams about using birth control. Hilariously that’s not enough for you guys ^.^
I’m not modifying my body. My husband isn’t modifying his body.
No amount of shaming, guilting or wailing will change my mind (or his!) and abortion will ALWAYS be available.
Have a great night!
Nope, you’ll just modify your offspring’s body without their consent, and it will end in their death.
Not trying to shame or guilt you, I just feel sorry for any kid that unfortunately gets conceived.
You have a nice night too.
Liz,
On the contrary, you are meeting up with people who frankly are puzzled that if you are so determined not to have children, then why aren’t you willing to take some simple steps to prevent pregnancy from ever occurring?
How is this “modifying” your body any more than perpetual contraception?
I think you came here looking for us to react “with screams against birth control” and if anything, DLPL and I support your decision not to have children and suggest easy and available ways to permanently prevent pregnancy.
Kind of got caught off guard there, didn’t you Liz?
Welp, the truth will out.
Sluts will be punished.
“Because obviously, the current anything-but-that advice of liberal feminists isn’t working.”
Yeah, lots of liberal feminists in rural East Texas. Hidalgo County declares January 14 Carrie Bradshaw Appreciation Day. Covens literally everywhere.
After Mary and Deluded have made such great points ive concluded Liz is a troll or has already had an abortion. You put it out there now take the advice. Both a vasectomy and a tubal are out patient procedures. Do you want it to come down to an abortion that could kill you? Go to the site Cemetery of Choice and you shall see how “safe” legal abortion is.
BTW Liz try a condom. They work.
It is extreme poverty thata child must die so that you may live as you wish. America is becoming a cess pool
Hi heather,
I remember my clinical coordinator “Maggie” having a tubal ligation when I was a student. I was rather surprised, as she was a single mother in her mid thirties with 3 teenage sons and as far as I knew had no romantic involvements.
However she was a very heavy smoker, it eventually killed her, and I could certainly understand that given her smoking, I have never seen anyone so addicted, and after a very difficult life as a single mother she had no intentions of having any more children. And who’s to say she would never be involved with another man? For all I knew maybe she already was.
I can certainly understand her decision and think it was a very wise one on her part.
Andrea Grimes? Isn’t she the “I used to be a pro-life Republican until I got horny one day and became pro-choice” (her words) chick? They really look for the best and the brightest over at RH Reality Check…
Hi Mary…thank you for the story about “Maggie” And sad to say but ive heard about women who also meant to get that tubal but got pregnant one last time by mistake. An abortion was performed and then a tubal. Most of my friends have had their tubes tied and one friend has esure…they put coils in the tubes. I also know a few men who have had vasectomys. My former brother in law said he was in and out and he said the pain was minimul.
Also havent heard a single woman complain about her tubal. In and out the same day.
For some females, abortion is a sacrament, a rite of passage into the radical-feminazi sisterhood. This is a possible reason for avoiding any of the highly efficacious methods of preventing pregnancy.
Alternatively, there are other females who won’t use certain methods of avoiding pregnancy because they submit to their partner, who is calling the shots.
“I’m not modifying my body.”
So it’s safe to assume you have no tattoos or piercings? I’m going to guess “no”, as consistency in your beliefs does not appear to be your strong suit.
Hi Navi,
No kidding. They had one of their posters explaining how some rapes aren’t violent and that a rapist can even be gentle in his forced penetration of his victim, not causing her any physical harm.
Another one excused SENATOR Al Franken’s twisted rape fantasy involving a female journalist as his just being a comedian. Yeah right, what could be more hilarious than the imprisonment and repeated rape of a woman?
Oh, and another great thinker over there suggested Gosnell was the result of stricter abortion regulation(?) Uh, yeah, right. What part of the sentence “Gosnell operated for years with the full blessing of the state” do you not understand?
Oh, and did you know that Margaret Sanger’s invitation to speak to the KKK ladies, as well as subsequent invitations by the Klan, were because they liked her lectures on birth control? I’m certain nothing would win you the admiration and respect of the Klan like a lecture on birth control!
Give me a freaking break.
It would be helpful to the Liz discussion if she informed readers here when she believes life begins.
That pretty much puts the issue on focus. The scientific consensus is that life begins at conception. By all definitions of life, the ne human being is certainly a life of its own before pregnancy is discovered.
Abortion defenses can only be successful by dodging this reality, such as with the “its my body I will mutilate it when I want” red herring, or by acknowledging that an abortion DOES kill an actual human being, as MANY pro-choicers are on record as declaring, but defending abortion by one of two arguments: one that quality of life matters, and two that the not-yet-born human has rights but these are trumped by the irresponsible mother’s rights.
Regarding Essure: I encourage anyone considering this, or who has a family member considering this, to explore its problems.
Physicians are educated about Essure by the company that makes and markets it. My OB, and most, are unaware of the range of complications, and the prevalence. Most OBs CANNOT answer simple questions such as: “if the Essure fail in one or both of my Fallopian tubes, and it is not in place where you put it, what process do you follow to figure out where it is,” or “what symptoms should I look for to know if the coil has punctured my Fallopian tube, or migrated through it completely,” or “what symptoms would let me know if I am having an allergic reaction to nickel from the Essure,” or “is the class-action suit being carried out by Erin Brokovich well-founded or not?”
If you ask your OB, and they have satisfactory answers, then please correct me for making blanket statements about the general education level of OBs regarding adverse events with Essure.
Yo, Last Democrat, ask any Ob-Gyn analogous questions about any of the birth control hormones, and the myriad adverse events and deaths associated with them, and see what you get.
One of most laughable things is all this concern about GMOs and healthy food, coming from people who stuff themselves, or their mammalian sex toys, full of synthetic hormone analogs for birth control.
With feminism in a necrotic state, the most natural and healthy means of pregnancy avoidance/regulation are rarely even discussed, much less utilized.
TLD…idk too much about Essure but I was aware of the Erin Brokovich suit. I can tell you this friend was 26 years old when she had it put in. Shes now 30 been married for 10 years and has 2 kids. She was sure she didnt want anymore kids. So far she hasnt had any problems but thats not to say she wont.
“Contrary to feminist myth, sex is not a bodily function that can’t be stopped. It’s an action, a decision, a behavior.”
On this I certainly agree. If sex was somehow a bodily function like eating, drinking, peeing, or pooping, then we would not have the same controversy over contraception. Clearly it is a choice to do sex. Many deny this and claim that we evolved to do sex. It makes no sense at all.
Mary,
Nope. I fully expected y’all to demand that my husband or I do undergo a surgery that our doctors agree is unnecessary. Our bodies & our choices :)
Heather,
We do use condoms. Do you?
T,
I don’t have any tattoos or piercings. Why is this your business?
Liz, you almost sound like you are gleefully anticipating having an abortion some day. That’s just creepy.
Liz , when you choose to commit abortion are you dismembering a part of your body?