Hypocrisy or wisdom?
[P]arenting is all about being a hypocrite – to the extent that it’s about trying to impart to your children the wisdom you gained by making mistakes in your youth and hopefully helping them avoid the same pitfalls.
I went through a short-lived pothead phase in college – does that mean I should pass my daughter a loaded bong on her 18th birthday so I don’t look like I’m preaching double standards?
~Carolyn Castiglia, Babble.com, March 21
Mar.22, 2011 11:07 am |
Free Speech |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
the wisdom you gained by making mistakes in your youth
I don’t believe that is a good conception of parenting, or really civilization either. It is more about passing down wisdom that you have received, so that the children aren’t abandoned to making all those same, and worse, mistakes.
sad…
Hypocrisy is defined by doing an action in the present tense while prohibiting others to perform that same action. An example: In Lord of the Rings, Saruman criticizes Gandalf for smoking shire leaf, all the while hoarding his own ‘stash’.
Good parenting is informing your children of the dangers of actions you might have taken in the past. Also, many people in drug rehab, for example, would find it hard to relate if everyone on staff were goody-two-shoes and had never had a substance abuse problem. Does that mean I can’t be a rehab counselor if I’ve never shot herion? Of course not, but it helps if someone can relate to them. AA assigns sponsors to help mentor people because it takes one to know one. However, if your sponsor shows up drunk to the meeting, that’s hypocrisy. And they don’t get a donut.
It’s more like, why would every single generation be expected to reinvent the wheel?? The word hypocrite gets thrown around a lot when it’s not warranted.
“One thorn of experiance is worth a forest of knowledge”. But, as I’ve oft’ said, that doesn’t mean you can’t accept the forest of knowledge. My parents did all sorts of things, drugs, sleeping around, multiple marriages, etc. They didn’t grow up Christian, and they were open with their past. Because they told me what the consequences of their actions were I was able to trust them and accept that they were telling the truth, and avoid those actions myself. I’m 28, I’ve never been drunk (although I do drink on occassion), never done illicit drugs, was married a virgin at 22, graduated high school as a straight A student, spent some time in college, married the man I loved (7 years last week!) I have no regrets over accepting their ‘forest of knowledge’. My husband did not grow up Christian and has just as many stupid stories as my parents (and just as many regrets). Between their dad and their grandparents my kids will have enough ‘forest’ to learn by and they can see that they don’t have to garner those ‘thorns’ just because the world tells them it’s impossible for a teenager (or adult) to listen and practice self-control.
It’s not hypocritical, it’s good parenting.