Destigmatizing abortion with video testimonials
I think that women should definitely share these stories, especially if they’re older women and they’ve been through this before.
Um, I think knowledge is power and if no one talks about it, then how are we supposed to know what… what to do or what to expect?
~ Alex, sharing her abortion story with the 1 in 3 Campaign, “a grassroots movement to start a new conversation about abortion — telling our stories, on our own terms,” via Sister Toldjah, September 27
Click on the 1 in 3 Campaign link to view more testimonial videos.
Sep.28, 2011 6:00 am |
Post-abortion |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
It might be possible to address the money problem with a family allowance system. Every family with a child automatically receives an adequate sum through taxpayer funds which, of course, means that the entire country pays for adequate raising of its future citizens.
I’ve been accused of “oversharing.” However, one reason I’ve never had an abortion was that, as I’ve said, I didn’t engage in a particular type of sex before my tubal ligation. Why can’t people be persuaded to prefer types of sexual activity that don’t get the female pregnant?
I wonder if this young lady — and others like her — would have aborted if they had known precisely what the unborn look like at the stage of pregnancy she was at?
Do you think we will see any women crying about what a terrible mistake they made or that they where pushed and pushed to abort until they complied? I won’t hold my breath. No, it will be more crap about responsible parenting choice. Notice the sign next to her says ‘responsibility’. I am such a good parent that I had sex when I couldn’t even afford an abortion! There is so much help out here to help you that you can talk and talk all day and there will still be no justification to kill your child’s sibling.
Why can’t people be persuaded to prefer types of sexual activity that don’t get the female pregnant?
I echo Praxedes’ concern that the voices of regret will be conveniently omitted.
Also, “1 in 3” unfortunately makes me think of Poise.
“I wasn’t contemplating keeping the baby.”
Sad, sad, sad. That poor baby didn’t have a chance.
This campaign seems aimed at those women that had abortions and regret it. Very mean-spirited and anti-women.
These are our stories. I guess if your story doesn’t match up, you’re excluded from their ‘conversation’.
“Why can’t people be persuaded to prefer types of sexual activity that don’t get the female pregnant?”
Denise, I believe that on some level we are all aware that procreation and sex cannot be separated. Many people don’t take the time to think too deep about it or research it because it doesn’t work for them, myself included at one point and time.
IMHO, all that energy you spent putting into your different types of sexual activities could have been better spent in much more productive ways of helping others until you were ready for marriage. If these acts were the only activities that would have kept you from aborting, I certainly applaud you for choosing them over abortion.
After reading many of your posts, I believe that your past activities have warped your views on a few topics. Sex addictions are real and no less harmful than other addictions.
@ Denise: the federal government already supports way too many people, their bad behaviors and even worse choices. No money for having babies. I am not subsidizing ANY procreation decisions. People need to support their own children. Don’t have (conceive) them if you can’t raise them.
What is she doing having sex in the first place if she:
a.) has no money
b.) already has a child she can’t support
c.) the “father” can barely help support them
????????????
Here she sits under a poster with the word RESPONSIBILITY in bold letters.
Insane. Completely insane.
Stories like hers make me livid.
What is she doing having sex in the first place if she:
a.) has no money
b.) already has a child she can’t support
c.) the “father” can barely help support them
????????????
Here she sits under a poster with the word RESPONSIBILITY in bold letters.
Insane. Completely insane.
Stories like hers make me livid.
I wrestled with making a post on this today and just deleted it because I couldn’t get the words right. You said it perfectly, Mike. Thanks!
“…how are we supposed to know what to do, or what to expect…?”
Is she for REAL ???
This is the year 2011, sweetheart. You had sex when you were 19 and got pregnant. Then, you CONTINUED to have sex and got pregnant AGAIN. Sounds like you need a course in anatomy and how your reproductive organs work.
Lets see here: “…Knowledge is power…”
It certainly is. The “knowledge” is out there for everyone to obtain, and has been for years: If you’re not “responsible” you’re going to get pregnant again and again and find yourself in this situation. Here’s a clue: STOP having sex and MAYBE, just MAYBE you won’t have to rush around to find money to “fix it” and expect everyone to feel sorry for you that you’re too stupid to realize what you’re doing.
This scene has had more performances than “South Pacific”.
I’m sorry, but in this day and age, there’s NO excuse for you and countless others just like you. While you’re at it, try making better choices in the “men” you associate with. NO ONE ever died from NOT having sex.
“NO ONE ever died from NOT having sex.”
Thank you Mike! Some would have you believe you can, though.
Take a quick, cold shower and divert some of that energy. Volunteer at a food pantry or daycare and learn some job/life skills in the process.
Some of the healthiest young people I know refrain from sex until they are financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually ready for marriage and family. Yes, it is hard but so are most things worth doing.
Boy pro-aborts are working overtime to “destigmatize” abortion. It can’t be done. I have never, EVER heard a “reason” for abortion that wasn’t a slogan or an excuse. It’s the most egregious act in the history of humankind, and it will never be accepted no matter how hard they try.
These videos only hurt the pro-abort cause. This woman is obviously a moron.
Dear Denise Noe,
Your comments about how you pleasure yourself are TMI. They will be deleted.
Enough already.
Listening to her is interesting in the sense that you get a glimpse of how a real person can see killing a baby as just something folks should discuss so they can get more comfortable with the idea. It is totally devoid of morality or any thought of what is right, or even cause and effect. She speaks as though she doesn’t know that her own actions caused the chain of events. She has little sense of her own agency.
Carla says:
September 28, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Dear Denise Noe,Your comments about how you pleasure yourself are TMI. They will be deleted.
Enough already.
(Denise) What about my comments on how I was haunted by the possibility of abortion?
I said nothing about HOW I pleasured myself. I was making the point about understanding certain types of temptation — temptations that lead to horror.
Ok. No more comments about pleasuring yourself. Are we clear?
(Denise) I was TERRIFIED of having an abortion. I knew that it would haunt me for the rest of my life. I had images in my mind of tiny fetuses with their arms and legs torn off as they were aborted. I also had an image of a baby that survived an abortion — with the skin burned so that it screamed in agony for hours until it died.
C’mon Carla! I have so many good one-liners saved up on that topic.
Sorry. My bad. I will behave now.
“It’s the most egregious act in the history of humankind.”
Sure.
I am sure you do, Praxedes.
You can always continue to save them.
:)
Courtnay says:
September 28, 2011 at 11:37 am
@ Denise: the federal government already supports way too many people, their bad behaviors and even worse choices. No money for having babies. I am not subsidizing ANY procreation decisions. People need to support their own children. Don’t have (conceive) them if you can’t raise them.
(Denise) I believe in an income floor for everyone. A family allowance system would mean there is always a floor for someone with babies.
However, I’m wondering if this woman really COULD NOT support a second child. Welfare payments increase with another child as does eligibility for food stamps. There might have been people who could guide her to ways to support another child.
I’m also wondering about my idea of mandatory information and its potential to dissuade females from aborting. She might not have aborted had she been forced to look at a picture of an embryo or fetus at the stage she was at and told about the heart beating and brain activity as well as told that arms and legs would be ripped off in the abortion process. Do others think such information could persuade some girls and women to carry to term?
Carla says:
September 28, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Ok. No more comments about pleasuring yourself. Are we clear?
(Denise) Yes. What is your reaction to the following?
(Denise) I was TERRIFIED of having an abortion. I knew that it would haunt me for the rest of my life. I had images in my mind of tiny fetuses with their arms and legs torn off as they were aborted. I also had an image of a baby that survived an abortion — with the skin burned so that it screamed in agony for hours until it died.
utterly sad. I was expecting a video on how hard her abortion was on her, on how she regretted it. No self-examination here on her own actions, involvement or reflection on the humanity of the baby – her son or daughter – or how she forever changed her family tree by choosing to end her child’s life by abortion.
Other people could have helped her raise that child. Other people could have helped.
I echo the other commentators here regarding responsibility. If you can not deal with the possibility of a child, please refrain from sexual intimacy. It means the body is WORKING CORRECTLY if you get pregnant. Natural, and obvious – unless you divorce sexual intimacy from pro-creation. So sad.
And I agree – abortion will not be normalized – because it is not normal. It is against our very nature to hurt others on purpose – especially the ones who are helpless. It’s the nature of love that we are violating.
Re: <She might not have aborted had she been forced to look at a picture of an embryo or fetus at the stage she was at and told about the heart beating and brain activity as well as told that arms and legs would be ripped off in the abortion process. Do others think such information could persuade some girls and women to carry to term?> Would pro-life people be opposed to abortion if the process seemed less repulsive? What if there were a guarantee that no fetus would feel any pain?
“Would pro-life people be opposed to abortion if the process seemed less repulsive? What if there were a guarantee that no fetus would feel any pain?”
Killing someone painlessly is still killing them, so yes.
…and a parent paying someone whose job it is supposedly to heal to kill their own child will never be anything other than repulsive (to put it mildly), so strike 2, Annie.
Annie says:
September 28, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Re: <She might not have aborted had she been forced to look at a picture of an embryo or fetus at the stage she was at and told about the heart beating and brain activity as well as told that arms and legs would be ripped off in the abortion process. Do others think such information could persuade some girls and women to carry to term?
> Would pro-life people be opposed to abortion if the process seemed less repulsive? What if there were a guarantee that no fetus would feel any pain?
(Denise) My post was about what the embryo or fetus LOOKS LIKE and what happens to it during the abortion as far as getting torn apart. It is quite possible that, during the first trimester, there is no pain because the nervous system isn’t yet hooked up. Whether or not the unborn feel pain was not the point. It was that the appearance might cause her to carry to term.
joyfromillinois says:
September 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm
utterly sad. I was expecting a video on how hard her abortion was on her, on how she regretted it. No self-examination here on her own actions, involvement or reflection on the humanity of the baby – her son or daughter – or how she forever changed her family tree by choosing to end her child’s life by abortion.
(Denise) She wasn’t required to look at what the embryo or fetus looked like so she might have not thought of it as a child.
Whoopi Goldberg has had 4 abortions. They were all early in her pregnancy so she thought of them not as unborn babies but as, in her words, “stuff coming together.” She has said she could not have had a late abortion because a late abortion would have felt like a killing to her.
As far as avoiding physical intimacy:
1) How do we persuade men and women to relate to each other on a more non-sexual, intellectual level?
2) How do we help people appreciate solitude more?
“Lets see here: “…Knowledge is power…”
It certainly is. The “knowledge” is out there for everyone to obtain” – which is why humanity has striven for better forms of contraception and methods of abortion since the year dot.
I get the impression that many of you are most annoyed by the fact that not every post-abortion woman feels the need to join your guilt party, ‘convert’ and become an anti-choice activist. Most women just have an abortion when they choose to do so and get on with their lives.
Denise, your questions are mostly relevant to young, single women. But there are also married women who have abortions, and married women who want to use contraception. Do you have suggestions for married women who can’t afford to have kids at that point in time (for whatever reason), besides simply telling them that the point of marriage is to have children? I’m really, truly curious about what an “abstinence” program for married couples looks like.
Hmmm…
“Hey, you’ve already got two kids, your mother just got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and the bank is about to foreclose on your home. You probably shouldn’t have sex with your husband if you think having a kid would be too difficult in these circumstances. Go take a cold shower or volunteer at the food pantry.”
Megan says:
September 28, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Denise, your questions are mostly relevant to young, single women. But there are also married women who have abortions, and married women who want to use contraception. Do you have suggestions for married women who can’t afford to have kids at that point in time (for whatever reason), besides simply telling them that the point of marriage is to have children? I’m really, truly curious about what an “abstinence” program for married couples looks like.
(Denise) While married women certainly have abortions, a very disproportionate number of aborting women are in fact UNmarried. So, yes, my questions were directed to the unmarried.
Sometimes in long-term marriages, the whole question becomes moot. It isn’t at all uncommon for married people to abstain from sex as a result of boredom and routine. This isn’t usually a decision made but something that happens naturally as the frequency of sex tapers off and then disappears.
“Hey, you’ve already got two kids, your mother just got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and the bank is about to foreclose on your home. You probably shouldn’t have sex with your husband if you think having a kid would be too difficult in these circumstances. Go take a cold shower or volunteer at the food pantry.”
I would recommend NFP which is very effective. Chances are if her mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she is starting menopause and her fertility rate is low anyway. Fertility drops considerably after 35 and more so after 40. Maybe she could look into selling her mom’s home or moving into it. If her kids are teens, they could maybe work at a restaurant, mow lawns or babysit to contribute until times get better. Or she could check with the churches in her area or social services if she does become pregnant. She could clip coupons and plant a garden. There are programs that will provide enough for her child to survive. Or she could go to a CPC, they are great for helping others in need.
Or she could come to the conclusion that children are a gift not a burden. More important than having your hair, make-up and nails done. More important than buying cigs and alcohol. More important than going out to eat. More important than having the big home and fancy vehicle. More important than having the latest fashions and jewelry (I have no doubt the gal in the video found a way to buy those great hoops).
But if a married woman absolutely knows that she would abort her child if she got pregnant, I would recommend she take a cold shower and volunteer somewhere. Or get some tips from Denise.
Sometimes in long-term marriages, the whole question becomes moot. It isn’t at all uncommon for married people to abstain from sex as a result of boredom and routine. This isn’t usually a decision made but something that happens naturally as the frequency of sex tapers off and then disappears.
Proof please, Denise. Unless of course you are talking about acts besides intercourse then I agree many married couples abstain but not out of boredom and routine but more because many happily long-married couples are not willing to give up quality for fluff.
What these women need is help not abortion.
I’m so disturbed by this website. A bunch of women complaining and trying to justify what they did.
To me, this is the opposite of feminism.
Praxedes says:
September 28, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Sometimes in long-term marriages, the whole question becomes moot. It isn’t at all uncommon for married people to abstain from sex as a result of boredom and routine. This isn’t usually a decision made but something that happens naturally as the frequency of sex tapers off and then disappears.
Proof please, Denise. Unless of course you are talking about acts besides intercourse then I agree many married couples abstain but not out of boredom and routine but more because many happily long-married couples are not willing to give up quality for fluff.
http://fixyoursexlessmarriage.com/coping-in-a-sexless-marriage.html
(Denise) At any rate, the real point should be what measures we can take to reduce pregnancies that cause panic rather than joy. Pregnancies should cause joy. Pregnancies that cause panic are the ones that end in the horror of fetuses vacuumed out, their legs and arms ripped apart, and the even worse scenarios of abortion post-first trimester.
Attempts to de-stigmatize abortion are futile. A very young human life is ended. The stigma is inevitable.
I agree that nothing anyone says will destigmatize abortion or make it seem normal. Abortion is an attack on an innocent human being – a search and destroy mission authorized by the child’s mother. Mothers who do so under pressure from significant others (like loser boyfriends) or from family members prove the failure of the women’s movement – they are not free from domination by other, more powerful people. Mothers who do this willingly as some exercise of “bodily autonomy” give me the chills and I would not trust them with my elderly mother-in-law or my grandchildren because they lack any compassion. Every opportunity I get, I try to educate people about the cold-hearted people who make up the “pro-choice” movement.