Bird abortions now legal
Following the Bird Supreme Court’s decisive 7-2 ruling to overturn the avian world’s longstanding anti-abortion law, millions of birds across the nation were granted reproductive rights Thursday, prompting thousands to forego parenthood by fatally pushing eggs from their nests….
The landmark ruling, avian law experts confirmed, ends the long-established ban on procedures that involve the removal or expulsion of an egg from a nest. Bird abortion is commonly facilitated by a variety of methods that can include rolling an egg over the side of a nest or thrusting a developing embryo from the roost with the aid of a small stick, feet, or beak.
~ Satire website The Onion reporting on the aftermath of the legalization of bird abortions, April 5
[Photo via Denim and Tweed]
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Tee hee hee. Abortion is just soooooo funny, ain’t it?
Yeah, The Onion is pretty hit and miss in terms of actually being funny.
Actually I liked it. It’s very dark humor, but it’s necessary to have a little dark humor when confronting such a dark subject.
This article really does makes abortion seem disgusting, cold-hearted, and murderous. Basically the exact opposite of how the pro-choicers want abortion to be perceived. Sometimes it takes the unsettling sight of a bunch of bird eggs splattered on the sidewalk for some people to really understand what is meant by euphemisms like ‘reproductive rights.’
If anything like that – birds suddenly pushing eggs from nests – began occurring in nature, everyone would be up in arms wondering what on earth is going WRONG? How can we STOP this?
Wish they’d make that connection with humans. Why don’t they ever think, “Hey, something must be seriously wrong, if a million abortions are happening among our species every year”?
I saw a photo of an oyster with pearls in it on facebook. So many on the thread were up in arms about the oyster. ”Poor oyster. They die you know! I can’t believe that people kill oysters for pearls! Who would do that??”
sigh
In all seriousness, try doing that to an endangered bird’s eggs and see how long you can stay out of jail.
Amazing how pro-abortion humor makes our arguments for us, isn’t it?
Confession:
I didn’t get it at first because my first read-through, I missed the last bit about the weasels and stoats. That last sentence makes it all worth it.
Dark humor or not, I just really think abortion is not something to “joke” about.
* BTW… yes…i have a GREAT sense of humor*
This article reads like it was written by a pro-lifer. It’s kind of funny, but there’s this sinister uncomfortable tone that threads through it. I’m not sure how to feel right now. (Maybe I should go watch some birds care for their chicks or something?)
Humor has long been used as a form of social commentary. Sometimes people have to loosen up before they can see the facts beyond their own bias.
“If anything like that – birds suddenly pushing eggs from nests – began occurring in nature,” – began?? This is not an unusual event. Other species also ‘spontaneously miscarry’ in certain circumstances.
‘A new study found that geladas, a relative of the baboon, do have ‘abortions’ in the wild: Normally, the failure rate for gelada pregnancies is around 2 per cent. If a new male arrives, it shoots up to 80 per cent.’
Bodily autonomy arguments are problematic especially for bird abortion.
This is not the first time The Onion paints abortion as ugly, selfish, and yet strangely banal.
They abort puppies which I don’t support either but ain’t it funny that more folks get upset about that over aborting a human.
‘A new study found that geladas, a relative of the baboon, do have ‘abortions’ in the wild: Normally, the failure rate for gelada pregnancies is around 2 per cent. If a new male arrives, it shoots up to 80 per cent.’
*sigh* Again? Again we have to explain this?:
elective abortion =/= medically-indicated abortion =/= spontaneous abortion
Know what can be a factor in many spontaneous abortions? Stress. Know what causes a lot of stress in any given animal population? The arrival of a new male in a group of a patriarchal species.
Streeeeeeeeeeeeeetch haaaaaaaaaaaaarder.
Other species also ‘spontaneously miscarry’ in certain circumstances.
Yeah, because that’s what we’re talking about. Spontaneous miscarriage.
Edit: missed your comment somehow, x. As usual, you said it better than I can.
Every time some pro-abort pretends abortion and miscarriage are the same thing, 40 Days for Life saves another unborn child.
We should make that a meme. Maybe then they’ll finally stop saying this.
thank you, Andrew. :)
“Every time some pro-abort pretends abortion and miscarriage are the same thing”
I think I have a new rule for the drinking game I’m developing.
@JDC: Oh dear. If that’s one of the rules, we’re all going to die of cirrhosis of the liver!
“@JDC: Oh dear. If that’s one of the rules, we’re all going to die of cirrhosis of the liver!”
I’m going to be honest with you, Alice. This game was designed to be lethal from the very beginning: April 10, 2013 at 1:31 pm
It’s not much of a stretch at all xalisae. As you quite rightly point out, some animals spontaneously miscarry when facing what amounts to personal socio-economic stress. It also occurs when environmental conditions aren’t conducive to producing offspring. Women don’t possess the same ability to anything like the same extent. The level of intellectual ability humans possess has enabled a different method when faced with personal socio-economic stress.
Some animals kill their young after they’re born too (including higher mammals like lions and dolphins). Others kill and eat their mates after they’re done with them. Maybe it seems wrong when humans do it because we expect beings with such intellectual abilities to find non-violent solutions to personal socio-economic stress.
“It’s not much of a stretch at all xalisae. As you quite rightly point out, some animals spontaneously miscarry when facing what amounts to personal socio-economic stress. It also occurs when environmental conditions aren’t conducive to producing offspring. Women don’t possess the same ability to anything like the same extent. The level of intellectual ability humans possess has enabled a different method when faced with personal socio-economic stress.”
Oh, yes, our “ability” to kill our offspring with tools is quite “intellectual.” Some animals also eat their own young – certainly you don’t condone this when facing “personal socio-economic stress.” This is where believing we are smart apes often leads.
Seriously, reality? Women have stress-induced miscarriages all the time. If women were constantly worrying about being raped and/or killed, there’d be a lot more of them.
@Rebecca: So basically what you’re saying is that the vast majority of examples of parents killing their offspring in the natural world occur when something is desperately, horribly, egregiously wrong going on. Thus the result of dead children is not a healthy, normal response to the situation but the terrible and desperate response of a trapped creature that can see no other way out.
You’re right. Elective human abortion is just like that. We should get rid of it and find a better way.
There are a whole lot more sources of stress than the threat of being raped and/or killed Andrew. I think you know that.
“So basically what you’re saying is that the vast majority of examples of parents killing their offspring in the natural world occur when something is desperately, horribly, egregiously wrong going on” – not always. In some cases it may be the potential, or threat, of such a circumstance arising. The geladas have a spontaneous abortion rate of 80% when a new male arrives yet no-one knows if or how many offspring may be at risk.
“Thus the result of spontaneously aborted fetuses is not a healthy, normal response to the situation” – given the extent which it occurs in nature, and why, it would appear that it may be considered a normal and healthy response.
…Reading comprehension is not your strong suit, I can see.
Oh, I think you just trumped yourself Alice.
Miscarriages can be spontaneous, as in, not something decided upon. I’ve yet to see anything spontaneous about having an abortion.