Pro-choice group annoyed that teen moms are viewed negatively
Campaigns such as #NoTeenPreg, launched by the Candies Foundation, present young mothers as inherently problematic – to themselves, their families, and their communities.
The campaign proliferates messages like, “You’re supposed to be changing the world, not changing diapers,” as if teen moms are incapable of influencing positive change.
The Candies Foundation isn’t the first organization to shame young parents and unfortunately it won’t be the last.
~ Choice USA criticizing the Candies Foundation campaign to reduce teen pregnancy, May 23
May.27, 2013 6:00 am |
Pregnancy |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Mothers are changing the world one diaper at a time. At least, my wife is.
As every teen should know, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby sitting in a carriage.
I literally facepalm everytime a pro choicer tries to tell me that they hate shaming young moms. I didn’t get pressure from anyone but my prochoice family and friends to have an abortion. Luckily I went and researched as much as I could and now I have an amazing 19 month old. I feel for all of Carly Rae jepsen’s fans. If a fan ends up pregnant she will see this sign and think abortion is the best thing to do while ignoring her heart. And most of the girls I know at this age are hardly changing the world. At least the majority of teen moms have a sense of responsibility. Okay rant over. :)
Well it’s not ideal but my husband was a teen dad and I know teens who grew up quick because the baby was more important than going out and getting drunk.
God bless you Sierra!!
Shaming never works in the long run.
I agree Heather.
Those that step up to the plate and take responsibility may have to grow up and parent but they will not have the death of their child to live with.
Promiscuity does have consequences. Sex can lead to babies!!!
Sez Carla: “Sex can lead to babies”.
Ya, that become such a profound and amazing news flash.
?
It’s called sarcasm.
Wait a minute,
As I recall, one of the “benefits” of legalized abortion was to drastically reduce illegitimacy. Teen pregnancy, along with poverty and child abuse, should be virtually non existent.
Considering the target audience, the ads are going to be interpreted by sexually active/curious teens as “…so you should have an abortion”, and teens who are already pregnant or parenting will see “so I’m worthless now”.
I don’t understand why pro lifers would support this. I don’t understand why pro choicers would support this. I don’t understand why ANYONE who truly knows how teenagers think and feel would support this.
@ Amanda: We all want to discourage pregnancy among unmarried teens. What is the RIGHT approach?
We need an approach that won’t encourage abortion and also won’t lead parenting young people to think of themselves as “worthless.”
Denise – I can’t speak for everyone, but I can tell you what stopped me from being sexually active at a young age. For the sake of full disclosure, I did not wait until marriage, but I did wait until I was a year in to a monogamous, serious relationship that at the time I believed could lead to marriage.
I was raised Unitarian. We participated in a comprehensive sex ed program that involved seeing pictures of REAL sex – not pornographic or Hollywood-ized sex. And you know… at 13/14, that looks gross. Seeing it without all the airbrushing, flattering camera angles, and romanticized/unrealistic aspects make it a LOT less alluring and mysterious and killed a lot of my curiosity. That, in addition to statistics and pictures of the diseases you can get, and the discussions about honoring and respecting myself and my body, not wanting to be used for sex, and that sex does not = being in love, and other open and frank discussions from people I respected. Armed with all of that, I really had no interest until I was in my first committed and mature relationship and avoided the pressures that existed in those years. My mom also had a frank talk with me when I started dating and told me “never have sex with a man you can’t imagine being the father of your children”. I took that advice to heart well in to adulthood. None of the 12 or so girls enrolled in that program at the UU congregation with me had children outside of marriage.
Meanwhile, a girl I grew up with whose mother refused to talk to her about sex and had her excused from sex ed at school – was pregnant at 16. And had an abortion when she got pregnant again 2 years later. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. All she knew about sex was the false and glamorized portrayal on TV and in movies.
I don’t think pictures of famous girls with quippy little talking points are the right approach to anything… dialogue with parents or respected adults goes a LONNNNNG way.
I feel for all of Carly Rae jepsen’s fans.
I feel badly for them for that reason, and also because of their cripplingly horrible taste in music. ;P
Can we write over such posters with big, bright letters “The hand that rocks the craddle rules the world”~ Churchill.
Of course, given the state of education in America, I don’t know how many teens know who Winston Churchill is.
Oh sure…Carly Rae Jepsen is FOR homosexual Scout leaders, but she’s AGAINST
teen mothers parenting and loving their babies….
Makes perfect sense…. *NOT!*
Don’t think the two viewpoints are related, Pamela.
I think it’s a good idea for people to be encouraged to not put themselves in the position of being a parent at too young of an age, especially single or unable to financially care for a baby on their own. The trick is to encourage healthy decisions without shaming those who made a mistake. I haven’t really seen any anti-teen pregnancy ads that don’t shame those who do end up having babies as a teenager.
teens have been having babies since before the Blessed Virgin Mary.
Some of them are better mothers.
They certainly have more energy than most of the women who wait until they are thirty.
Sure, some of those kids will just be carpenters, and teachers. But some of those kids will grow up to be Justin Biebers–and all of them will be vitally important to our nations life-blood.
SEE http://pop.org
Carly Rae is ignorant. As if singing about boys and sunglasses was more responsible or contributing more to American Culture than bringing up a human being.
Geeze, just looked at their site. Glad their teaching abstinence… But sad their shaming mothers.
Don’t young women have enough pressure, already? Even the girl in their ad is dressed in big bangle earrings and tight jeans, and form fitting top==so they’re not entirely promoting conservative behavior, just DIS-COURAGING those who are already, most likely, sexually active. Sure maybe not, but it’s more about not being a mommy, than not being sexually active. The PP pink all over the place makes that sub-consciouse link, doesn’t it?
There’s a better way to do it than presenting young motherhood as a nightmare. And sad to see Bristol Palin playing into this subversive ant-LIFE dialog. She should know better.
The ad sets up a false dichotomy. Who says you can’t change the world and change diapers?
The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
Here, this classic opening is appropriate:
Since time immemorial…
(that means before anyone’s memory)
“Man” (that means people)
have been having children beginning in the teen years.
(That means: being a teen mom is normal.)
Here is a question for everyone to ponder: what is so bad abt a teen getting pregnant?
Here is the answer: classism.
We in the educated, “stable,” providing classes don’t want our children to becomeparents until, oh, say 35 years of age.
And we RESENT the unstable classes who get pregnant BEFORE the age of 35. Why? Because we are obliged (noblesse oblige) to provide charity to “those” people, and we throw our values onto those people – “behave yourselves, please; don’t be savages reproducing like rabbits. Be civilized, like us.”
If a couple manages to get here from the lousy life they had in Guatamala, and they see how much we are giving away – pregnancy Medicaid, WIC, etc., they would be foolish to not have 6 or 7 kids and establish their clan in the new world.
This bothers us stable-class (steady working class, often govt employees or union-protected, or middle-class, or upper-class) people because it impacts us: WE are the ones toprovide the Medicaid dollars and the food stamps for these “breeders” while we exercise moral restraint – by using borth control or abortion.
It is classism: we upper classes get upset supporting the lower classes.
Mary is totally right. Since we stable-class people ALREADY run the world, we are threatened by the unwashed masses: if we cannot stop “them” from ruling the cradle, “they” will yank the world out from under our control.
Classism.
Look, it’s not like raising a child and going to school is easy. Our society is not set up in such a way as to encourage responsibility from young men and women. During the high school and college years it is practically an obligation to drink too much, date without any sense of longevity, and experiment with different life possibilities. We don’t have the support systems that young men and ladies did at one time in history because there is an increasing pressure to put off children until your schooling and career are both ‘seen to’.
What we should be doing to discourage teen pregnancy is ceasing to support television and films that glamorize promiscuity and immodesty. What we should be doing is overhauling our failed sex-ed program in favor of one that does not encourage experimentation. What we should not be doing is giving our children a false sense of security in the ‘safety net’ of condoms and HBC. What we really need to do is to stop treating our children like these things, these messages, don’t affect them.
These ads don’t say, “Be responsible and wait to have sex until you are married.” They say, “Use a condom, but if that doesn’t work, please please please find a way out of having a baby because you can’t be important unless you are unattached….oh, and if you already have a baby, just do us a favor and fade into oblivion soon rather than wasting our time.”
Though, honestly, I’m not sure what Choice USA objects to in these ads. To a scared young woman who just found out she’s pregnant, this would practically scream, “Have an abortion because it’s way easier than a baby!”
If you really want to change the world:
Abstain sexually till you’re married
Refrain from exclusive dating until you’re able to marry
Don’t move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend
Get married–and stay married
Now THAT would be different!
Ye, I agree with our other astute commenters: the advertisement is NOT to reduce sex, just the pregnancy. How about keeping young people busy so that sex isn’t their only form of recreation? You know things like homework, college, part time jobs, chores. When you’re busy, you don’t mope over your love life and keep trying to fill the emptiness with “partners.” I’m going to tell more young people what a good job they’re doing. I think we get busy and forget to encourage them.
There is not a thing right about this poster.
It does not encourage the virtues of self-dignity and chivalry and chastity and respect for marriage… those things that are healthy and useful in preventing teen pregnancy. It seems to be just as happy with contraception and abortion, with are unhealthy and not effective at preventing pregnancy.
And the message also fails to encourage the virtues of motherhood and family. It seems to prefer the already epidemic narcissism of our age. Quite frankly — women without children have a fairly high rate of “changing the world,” but very few have done anything to actually “save the world.” The women with the children are the ones we are most thankful for. (With the notable exceptions of Mother Teresa and an army of similar religious sisters who practiced heroic self-sacrifice during the Golden Age of Christendom.)
The failure of this ad campaign is that it completely misses the mark of teaching heroic virtues, like chastity and self-sacrifice, whcih we need. It is about narcissism, which we have too much of.
@TheLastDemocrat: It could be coined classism if we were stuck in the social class to which we are born in this country. In the United States a person who manages to finish high school before they get married, get married before they have children and stay married is unlikely to live in poverty as an adult. It’s not a middle class secret – it’s the path to becoming part of the middle class. I don’t want people to follow this life plan to reduce my tax bill. I want them to follow it for their own benefit. I want them to follow it because it maximizes their chances of living up to their potential. Yes, it benefits society, but first and foremost it benefits the family.
To the general message of the article – being a great parent is the best tool most of us ever have to changing the world. That being said, most single teenagers don’t have the tools it takes to be great parents. I think we really need to focus on honoring and promoting adoption as a loving choice for youngsters who have babies before they have diplomas and jobs (and weddings), promoting marriage for older teen parents, and making sure all kids understand that there is no such thing as ‘safe’ sex when you’re a minor. Your body might be feel ready, but your mind, emotions and lifestyle are not.
Ok, Denise, at this point you’re making comments that you know will be deleted. Why are you bothering?
Sorry, Carla. I just fed the troll again. I really am trying to quit, it’s just hard sometimes.
Denise,
When I was a teen, my siblings and I used to attend a part time teen center that had activities and games, but most wonderful was a big open room where we could play loud music and gossip. We had “mentors” on staff. Some days they were glorified babysitters, but some days we’d actually sit down and talk with them about relationships, jobs, picking colleges, our parents, etc.
With your obvious attraction to the criminal element, you are that last individual that I’d want actually STAFFING a teen center. However, our teen center WAS supported by donations and such from the community. So, my question (and I may regret asking) for you Denise is this:
What are you actively doing to support chaperoned teen activities? Are you donating any time or money or providing any material support to back up your often-repeated belief in chaperoned dating?
Since you so frequently post anti-adoption comments, I have a similar question: What, if anything, are YOU doing to support mothers who want to parent their own children??
I have been providing material support both to individuals and to organizations. But are YOU? If so, specifically what?
ninek says:
May 28, 2013 at 5:04 pm
Denise,When I was a teen, my siblings and I used to attend a part time teen center that had activities and games, but most wonderful was a big open room where we could play loud music and gossip. We had “mentors” on staff. Some days they were glorified babysitters, but some days we’d actually sit down and talk with them about relationships, jobs, picking colleges, our parents, etc. With your obvious attraction to the criminal element, you are that last individual that I’d want actually STAFFING a teen center. However, our teen center WAS supported by donations and such from the community. So, my question (and I may regret asking) for you Denise is this:What are you actively doing to support chaperoned teen activities? Are you donating any time or money or providing any material support to back up your often-repeated belief in chaperoned dating? >>
(Denise) First of all, I am very severely handicapped. I am also not in good financial straits. I try write as much as I can about both chaperoned dating and greater adult supervision of young people so that more parents will at least consider chaperoned dating and at least be aware of the importance of adult supervision.
<<Since you so frequently post anti-adoption comments, I have a similar question: What, if anything, are YOU doing to support mothers who want to parent their own children??>>
(Denise) I try to do as much as I can through writing. I am severely in debt because I can’t hold down a full-time job due to my handicap — and I had a health problem recently due to skin cancer. I want people to be aware of the problems with adoption and to perhaps consider options such as guardianship that will help birthmothers to act as caregivers even if they need extra help.
I have been providing material support both to individuals and to organizations. But are YOU? If so, specifically what?>>
(Denise) I am limited as to what I can because of the handicap and my desperate financial straits. I’m glad you are helping. I mean that sincerely, ninek.
Wow, I’m glad to hear that you would be willing to be more supportive if finances allowed. One of my friends wants to volunteer with teen boys but worries that his wife will be upset that he’s not making money with that time. I said, oh you should volunteer, because boys need a decent guy looking out for them.
I wish I had more money, too. I’d donate so much more if I could. I’m sorry to hear about your health problems. It’s a tough thing. At my workplace, we can fit only one or two handicapped people because there’s so much physical activity involved in our jobs. The tech field is more accommodating, if you can find an employer that allow telecommuting.
@ ninek: I do work on a part-time basis as I can.
I can’t remember who it was but I do remember that a poster here said he was going to at least consider chaperoned dating for his daughter when she reached the dating age. I was overjoyed that I might have influenced someone to consider this. “Necking” and “making out” tends to short-circuit the process of getting to know another person as a person. This is part of the reason fewer people are marrying these days. If dates were devoted to actually finding out about another person in all that person’s richness and complexity, they might be much more apt to lead to marriage instead of problem pregnancies and STDs.
Elizabeth Taylor once remarked, “We didn’t date; we married.”
JDC,
It’s ok. :)
“JDC,
It’s ok. :)”
Thanks, Carla. :)
Elizabeth Taylor once remarked, “We didn’t date; we married.”
And that worked out just marvelously for her, obviously.
Hey, she hauled in a lot of jewelry with her style of fishin’!