How to become an abortion doula
Step one is to find a few other doulas in your community who are interested in this. Then, once you’ve established your group, you can work on reaching out to clinics like Planned Parenthood and others, to see if you can provide your doula services there.
You’ll have to consider things like training on abortion doula support for your doulas, volunteer screening and other policies to comply with the clinic needs.
~ Abortion doula Miriam Pérez answering the question, “How do I become an abortion doula?”, Radical Doula, August 2
[Photo via MomLogic.com]

ick what have we come to? i have heard. from many women that their abortions were one of the most painful things they had ever been through
many opted for versed aka twilight sleep and. woke up screaming because of the. emotional pain. it’s. just so disturbing.
It just gives me chills! Absolutely horrific….
“Doula – an experienced woman who offers emotional and practical support to a woman (or couple) before, during and after childbirth. A doula believes in “mothering the mother” – enabling a woman to have the most satisfying and empowered time that she can during pregnancy, birth and the early days as a new mum.”
NOWHERE in doula’s job description there is a point about helping mothers to dismember their babies!!!! These so called “abortion doulas” are a real shame and I can bet if you ask any doula what she thinks about them, she would be disgusted and horrified!
They should at least have the honesty to call themselves a different name, because doula is the one that is helping new little humans come into this world, not leave it in a bloody mass of limbs!
Dona would NEVER certify them.
Like they said. Find some other women who are proabortion. Form a group. Call yourselves doulas. Get to PP. Continually tell yourself that you are “helping” women.
http://www.dona.org/
This actually made me throw up in my mouth. Horrifying.
Words mean what we say they mean!!
Be careful Jill! We don’t want to give any ideas to or encourege any of our hardcore pro-choice readers/lurkers to become abortion doulas ;-)
1. “Abortion doula” is an oxymoron, like “environmentalist polluter.” If what you want to do is make deliberately killing your baby somehow less traumatizing to the woman, come up with another name for it. But don’t slander TRUE doulas by pretending that there is any similarity between the life and love affirming work they do, and the death affirming work of abortion.
2. If it’s that miserable and agonizing an experience for the woman, WHY FACILITATE IT? Why not put the love and compassion and energy into actually HELPING her to AVOID the trauma?
Satanic.
Ya know, the more I read it, the more ghoulish it is. It’s not just slowing down to look at the train wreck, it’s seeking out ways to climb into the train wreck and fend off the rescuers while watching the victims die.
Vita,
You’re right, the majority of doulas still believe being a doula is about creating, supporting, and nourishing life, not destroying it and are disgusted by the term and idea of “abortion doula” They [“abortion” doulas] are not doula’s at all, they are merely abortion assistants and assistants to destroying life and wounding women, not creating, supporting, or nourishing life.
i wont address them as Douglas anymore then i would refer to an abortionist a doctor
doctors and nurses don’t kill and once they cross that line they are NP longer worthy of that title
should. say no longer above post8
And just why is everyone so surprised by this concept created by some radical lesbian ???
But but but… I thought abortion was just like having a tooth pulled! It only consists of GENTLE suctioning of the uterus and no emotional or physical harm or distress will EVER occur (unless you’re already a crazy lady to begin with).
Will I need a doula to be with me when I have a root canal? Or get my legs waxed? I mean, how can they have it both ways? Abortion needs doulas yet its as benign as a pedicure.
Which is it pro-aborts? Is it so easy and pain-free a 12 year can decide to do it or is it so painful and emotional you need support through the experience?
I agree, Sydney. Why all this anguish over having a blob removed from your body?
Sydney,
Gently emptying the uterine contents doesn’t sound doula worthy.
This just reminds me of John 10:10 (KJV)
“The thief cometh not, but for to steal , and to kill , and to destroy…”
The “thief” (Satan) has “stolen” the word “Doula” from it’s TRUE meaning:
From DONA’s website:
What is a doula?
The word “doula” comes from the ancient Greek meaning “a woman who serves” and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period.
NO WHERE does it mention abortion.
You are NOT a “doula”, Ms. Perez. What you are is an “accessory” (to murder).
This never ceases to revolt me. And excellent points Sydney.
i have. been a nurse for quite a number of years. and I’d. quit my job on spot if asked to kill
fortunately i work with the elderly and most of them are appalled by abortion. you can learn a lot from the elderly!
and i don’t. want my tax dollars to pay for the abdoula
So it is ok to help a post abortive woman with her post partum depression but it has to be done the Christian way. No other way of helping women is acceptable? Sounds awfully selfish to me…
As for the rest of your hysteria, please show me a medical text book that states that an abortion is murdering a baby? Just one single medical text book that classifies abortion as murder. I know that my local PP has several Doula’s in the metro area that they will refer women who want to have natural child birth.
Personally I disagree with Doula’s in the first place. Babies should be born in a hospital where they are actually equipped to deal with any sudden medical complications that might arise. In my case it would have been simply impossible for my mother to have me naturally. The doctor said he would have to break her pelvic bone to spread them wider and he would have to break my collar bone in order to fold my shoulders in half… C-Section it was then. lol My mom is 4’11” 95lbs and I was born at 12lbs 7oz 28inches long… Her pregnancy photos are borderline freakish.
Wait a sec, Biggz… I thought Post-Abortion syndrome was a myth?? Are you acknowledging that it exists?
Also, I’m giving birth in December, in the hospital, and I’ve hired a doula. (I had her with my last birth, too.) Doulas aren’t just for homebirths; in fact, they’re even more helpful in a hospital setting. You can learn more here!
The doulas I had in the hospital while giving birth were amazing!
biggz are you kidding. me? go to the site. called the choice blues and watch an abortion then get back to met7
i also. had one at my last birth and she was incredible!
“Personally I disagree with Doula’s in the first place. Babies should be born in a hospital where they are actually equipped to deal with any sudden medical complications that might arise.”
First of all, what does the work of a doula have to do with giving birth at the hospital or at home? You can have one anywhere you’re giving birth. Don’t mix them up with midwives, who are medically trained, able to deliver babies, deal with emergencies and help women giving birth at home. Doula is just extra support person, who offers emotional support, practical advice, massage, cold towel on your head and anything else you need while in labour EXCEPT medical interventions and delivery of the baby.
On the other hand – no, babies don’t have to be born in a hospital, unless there are complications with pregnancy/labour/birth. It’s a choice (yes, a CHOICE), where to give birth, and if you read the statistics, you’ll find out, that labours that happened at home have far smaller percentage of medical interventions (episiotomies, c-sections) and infections after birth, even if you include labours that start at home and end in a hospital.
If it is done in a hospital I have no issue with it at all. I guess I should have said I am against home births or water births not done in a hospital.
Joanna – Post-Abortion syndrome is a myth in that it is a term made up by pro-lifers.
Post Partum Depression is a common thing in all women who end there pregnancy by abortion, miscarriage, or birth. It is a chemical imbalance that takes a bit of time to right itself; sometimes it needs help from a doctor to do so. You want to call it post-abortion like it is something special but it is the very same as a miscarriage or birth chemically. Some women choose to heap on even more guilt onto themselves with religious dogma but that is purely self inflicted pain. It is a depression and there is no need to heap on guilt for no good reason.
In my experience guilt is like carrying a big bag of bricks around with you where ever you go, all you need do is to set the bag down and keep on walking. Sometimes it takes a very long time to be able to set it down but you cannot heal until you do.
I’m a retired labor and delivery nurse and absolutely sickened by this idea of an “abortion doula”. I spent years and years helping women have babies. Who do these people think they are?
I did some of my own investigating and looked up to see if their are any abortion doulas here in Chicago and look what I found.
http://www.kaleidoscopedoula.com/Kaleidoscope_Doula_Care/abortion_doula_support.html
There are so-called birth doulas that also do pro-abort doula work. They are trying to make having abortion seem ok but we all know that those poor women are going to regret their choices, even if they have a so called “doula”. I can’t imagine that anyone would want them to be at their childbirth when they know they do baby killing on the side. How sad.
Biggz,
Wait. I thought you were all about “choice.”
So glad your “issues” don’t matter to a husband and wife that make the “choice” to have a doula in the hospital, at home or during a water birth(at home!!)
btw I had a water birth with my last and wish I would have known how awesome they are!!
Biggz
Sounds awfully selfish to me.
That’s the same line used when individuals are fighting for the life of a loved one and some nut is trying to convince them that its time to let the loved one go before its their time. It is such a shame that when individuals are using the guise of civility, so there just not bothered ,that there own lack of civility and emotional maturity is not immediately made evident. That would be really cool if the at risk like the unborn and the disabled and elderly had a way to defend themselves against ignorance. Oh wait that’s what we’re suppose to be doing for them.
I do agree with your statement that births should occur just in hospitals. My daughter was breached and had they not done a c-section the umbilical cord could have strangled her.
Biggz,
Please cite any sources you have that prove an innocent human being doesn’t die in an abortion.
Oh Carla, it’s just human. Not a human being! Can’t you see the difference????
Home births scare me to death, my wife had our son at home, and I found it absolutely terrifying. She was too sick with our daughter to have her at home, so she ended up with a C-section at the hospital. I don’t think we will have another at home, assuming we have other children.
Carla
We have a local hospital that is equipped to provide water births. Aren’t there complications during labor that can endanger the life of the baby or the mom where there might not be time to make it to a hospital? I think even in hospital settings a lot of times women do not get the care their entitled too. But in a hospital the odds of her getting the help she needs I think are much better.
Jack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What was I thinking??????????????
Myrtle,
I never had a baby at home. Well almost. I stayed home to walk around and by the time I got to the hospital I was at 9. Whoopsie. The waterbirth I had was in the hospital. :)
I also do not know what complications there could be but all of my friends that have their babies at home must know and understand there could be some risk.
Sorry Jack that you were terrified during your home birth. :(
Carla
I’ve heard walking is about the best thing you can do when in labor. That was a very close whoopsie! Thankfully, everything went well. What’s good about the home setting is that it’s more natural but I think some hospitals are equipped now where the mom can stay in her room to give birth and even keep the baby in the room following birth if she chooses too. My great aunt died in childbirth at home this was a very long time ago but I think it makes me more aware of what can go wrong.
Jack
A lot of people get very nervous when seeing someone give birth. When I was in school to get my nurses aid certificate we were able to watch a lady give birth. She was in a good mood, I think she had had an epidural and she was using a birthing chair. Anyway one of the other students almost passed out. And this was an older lady who already had children of her own. It’s a very common reaction.
It was with my 3rd child and I just figured I had puhlenty of time to take some walks around the block!!! My poor husband thought he might be helping me deliver in the car. LOL
I stayed in the same room I gave birth in too. Which was so nice.
I am sorry about your great aunt, Myrtle. How tragic.
Carla!!! Never forget again!!!!
I think I would have done better with my son’s birth if I hadn’t been twenty and scared out of my mind to even be having a kid, lol. Thank you for your words of wisdom Myrtle, I am sorry about your aunt too.
You did better than me, Carla; with my last birth, I arrived at the hospital 10cm and ready to push! She was born twenty minutes after we got there!
Biggz, so… you maintain that Post-Abortion Syndrome is just the same as PPD? Why then do so many pro-aborts deny the existence of PAS altogether if it’s the same thing?
Thanks Jack and Carla it happened way before my time I just remember my mom telling me about it.
Carla and JoAnna
You are both very, very brave. I stayed in labor 16 hours for my daughter and by the time they did the C-section it was past time. I think any woman that has a baby naturally should be presented with a medal!
Biggz: “Personally I disagree with Doula’s in the first place. Babies should be born in a hospital where they are actually equipped to deal with any sudden medical complications that might arise. In my case it would have been simply impossible for my mother to have me naturally.”
You’re obviously not in the least familiar with home birth. Doctors will not serve women at risk at home. It’s not as if some doc would have cheerfully done this for your mom at home.
Dude. Seriously. People do this all the time. They’ve been doing it for tens of thousands of years. And all of a sudden, in our particular era, we’re obliged to defer to the hysteria of those who want to medicalize the most natural thing in the world?
Yes, hospitals are wonderfully available for risky births. The doctors are aware of where the risk is. Is anything failsafe? No.
Control freak.
All four of mine-no drugs! I’ll take that medal.
Joanna,
I arrived at a 9 and was ready to push but I was made to pant for an hour while my doctor got there.(HORRID) He was sheet rocking his basement. He caught my son just in time.
o wow Carla no. drugs?! i tip my hat to you! i got to 7cm and began screaming for drugs! with the last 3 i just went ahead and asked. for everything ahead of time
the doc actually encouraged an epidural._ht@with my third birth i was going to try to go natural and she said “this is not a contest as to who can
sorry for. the. typos. i am typing from a phone and the stupid keyboard. has a mind of its own as i was saying the doc said “this isn’t. a contest as to who can endure the most pain” anyway
after they broke my water i began screaming and they gave me nubaine and an epidural. i just couldn’t do it
Mary it’s. so nice to see you and i couldn’t agree with you more! sadly the hospital i delivered all 4 of my children at perform abortions! on one side they deliver babies and on the other side they kill them
Wow, I think this is the first time I agree with Biggz.
Rasqual
I was in a hospital very pregnant and very sick not only did they give me medication that I had an adverse reaction to but after they were aware of the reaction they continued to administer the medication. I don’t even remember an ultrasound being done until I was well into labor. They should have known my daughter was breeched they had access to ultrasound machines but they didn’t bother. Despite their ignorance and lack of real care my daughter made it and so did I. Had I been at home giving birth the outcome could have been very different. I’ll give you another example. I have high blood pressure. I have to take a blood pressure medication twice a day. Recently I found out that cloves are good for high blood pressure. I would consider cloves to be more natural but if I stopped taking my blood pressure medication and relied on just cloves I could be in big trouble. Of course if I lost weight exercised more and did all of the things I should do my blood pressure issues might be completely resolved. I have time to work on all of this. When I woman is in labor sometimes she is faced with problems that to be remedied time is of the essence. That’s why I think the risks outweigh the benefits.
I have had three unmedicated, vaginal hospital births, so I’ll take those medals, Myrtle. :D I’m hoping to have a fourth unmedicated hospital birth in December!
It sounds like your health issues make a homebirth too risky for you, but that’s not the case with most women — me, for example. All of my births have gone smoothly so far and would have gone just as smoothly in a home setting. My last labor was only 2.5 hours start to finish so she was nearly born at home anyway! I’d have a homebirth but my husband is just not comfortable with the idea, so to respect his feelings I birth in the hospital.
Carla
Four births naturally! Your past medals you deserve a trophy. Seriously thats awesome.
Heather
You are so blessed that you had a doctor who cared enough to do the right thing for you.
I read a book called ” Dancing With Skeletons ” by Katherine DeWeiler and in the book she interviews a midwife who had delivered a lot of babies and in her years of delivering babies she only lost one patient. Although there was no doubt as to her ability she didn’t have what she needed to save the mom and baby. In order to save the mom she would have had to let the baby die, something she wouldn’t even consider doing. I think that is an excellent example of why if it’s a woman’s choice to deliver naturally and she’s able that’s awesome but if for some reason she can’t she should have access to medical care that will minimize or cancel any risks that present to her or her baby. And medical care that is in close proximity to wherever she is. Like down the hall proximity and no further. In the case of this midwife most of her patients probably couldn’t even afford to go to a hospital and/or didn’t have a way to get there.
you gals are brave! oh is that pain unreal! some women have asked me what labor felt like and i replied “it feels like someone is twisting your Fallopian tubes with a pair of needle. nose pliars and stabbing your uterus with a butcher knife! Myrtle. thanks for your kind words I’m very sorry about your aunt!
I have a very high tolerance for pain inherited from my mom. :)
And to those that are first time moms wondering about labor please ignore heather’s comment. :) You will do fine!!
yes Carla i really shouldn’t. tell them that! you should hear me tell them about breast implants and that. pain!
Heather
I imagine they are encouraged by all that positivety!
yes girls you will be fine the hospital will keep. you comfey!
Heather: “oh is that pain unreal! some women have asked me what labor felt like and i replied “it feels like someone is twisting your Fallopian tubes with a pair of needle. nose pliars and stabbing your uterus with a butcher knife!”
Carla: “to those that are first time moms wondering about labor please ignore heather’s comment. You will do fine!!”
:: laughing :: That was a funny exchange – shows you how different we can be.
Myrtle: A lot of people get very nervous when seeing someone give birth. When I was in school to get my nurses aid certificate we were able to watch a lady give birth. She was in a good mood, I think she had had an epidural and she was using a birthing chair. Anyway one of the other students almost passed out. And this was an older lady who already had children of her own. It’s a very common reaction.
Light-headed here right now, Myrtle. ; )
“myrtle miller says:
August 6, 2011 at 10:45 am
When I woman is in labor sometimes she is faced with problems that to be remedied time is of the essence. ”
I think there are a lot of misconceptions about home births. I don’t know about US, but here in the UK home births are supported and encouraged, NHS send you 2 midwives for your labour at home and it’s totally up to the parents to decide where to give birth, which I think is fair, because the best place to give birth is the one that the mother is the most comfortable with. HOWEVER, if you do plan a home birth, you will have regular check-ups right until the birth to rule out any possible problem (placenta previa, breech, pre-eclampsia, low blood count, infection, anything). If there is a smallest concern, the doctors would strongly advice not to give birth at home and most of the parents would go to the hospital. So home births are mainly for those with perfecty healthy pregnancies. And once any complications are ruled out, there’s very little that can go wrong even if you give birth at home (eg with prolapsed cord there’s usually enough time to get to hospital, and I know women who’ve done it, with prolonged labour you can also get to hospital in no rush, if the baby has problems breathing, the midwives are fully trained and have the equipment to help the baby breathe, they’re also trained to deliver babies with a wrapped cord safely too). So all in all, with a pregnancy that has zero complications, the risk of having a baby at home or in a hospital is pretty much the same. With home births in all research showing much smaller needs for medical interventions (even including births that do end up in a hospital) and complications after birth (eg infections).
Another thing mentioned on the thread was how good it is to walk during labour. I watched a lot of different episodes of labour and birth in the US hospitals on TV and one thing that struck me most is that a woman spends her labour in a bed laying down! Sure some do it because they have the epidural, the rest just lay there and suffer. And even those that walk around a little now and then are put to bed and on their backs once it’s time to push!
Anyone who did any reading about unmedicated labour and birth knows that staying upright, moving about, kneeling, squatting, walking, dancing, all these will speed up the labour and minimise pain. Also, when giving birth when kneeling or squatting the gravity helps the baby to be born, and the woman doesn’t have to push it against gravity (or parallel to it, which a lot of times results in tears). Also sitting down or laying on the back can reduce the space in the birth canal by up to 30%.
In the UK, in midwife led units only women with complicated deliveries or epidurals are laying on their backs while the midwives help the baby to be born. Everyone else can give birth in any position desired – squatting, kneeling, standing, or laying on the side which won’t be as difficult as on the back. In the new hospital near us they don’t even have beds in the delivery room for natural deliveries – there’s just a soft mat on the floor, lots of pillows, a gym ball, birthing chair. So the woman has no other choice but to stay active until it’s time for the baby to come.
Sorry for the rant, but it’s something I feel very passionate about – there is a lot of unneccessary medical interventions and c-sections these days, for a simple reason – people don’t really know how our bodies are supposed work and rely only on medicine.
I’d give my eyeteeth to have a doula (a REAL doula, not a death-doula) present at my next delivery (Feb. 2012). I can’t afford one but it would be nice to have someone run interference for me who isn’t emotionally invested (read: a little too freaked out to do anything much) like my husband. The last delivery I had really soured me on military hospital deliveries. I was not at all treated well.
I arrived at the hospital in good labor at 6cm. They hooked me up to the stupid monitor in triage and started an IV. My husband warned them that I deliver quickly and they blew him off. They put me 3rd in line for a delivery room (they were full) but less than an hour after arriving there I was 10cm and 100% effaced, ready to push. I was in sooo much pain and wasn’t even allowed to walk during the short time in triage – I had to stay on the blasted monitor. The Dr. was *surprised* that I was ready so fast. As they rushed me into a room that was still being mopped up from the last delivery, the nurses were hateful and yelling at me *not* to push while they wheeled me in, like it was MY fault that THEY did not listen and were not ready. Sigh. I do not have the option to deliver anywhere else this time, either. At least they got tired of my complaining and finally gave me some Demerol *after* the delivery to shut me up so they could finish stitching. I hate stitches. I can always feel the needle and thread dragging through the tissues and it hurts. They never give enough local. I had to share a postpartum room with a 1st time mom who couldn’t seem to stop endlessly jabbering on her cell phone. And I had to answer embarassing, personal questions within her hearing (and her husband’s if he were there at that time) before I was discharged from the hospital. Classy. I was totally miserable after that delivery in every way possible except that I at least had my baby and he was doing fine.
I haven’t had epidurals or anything else with my last two deliveries because the anesthesiologist was too slow to get there before I was too far gone. The doctors/midwives didn’t even get there in time to catch. All three of mine were caught by L&D nurses, much to the annoyance of the Dr./Midwife on call. You snooze, you lose, Doc. If I am ready and a nurse tells me not to push forever waiting for the Dr., you might as well forget that. Not my job to make sure the OB staff is paying attention. Babies wait for noone.
If I were a betting gal, I’d bet $20 that they won’t listen *again* the next time I deliver, and that a nurse will end up on the catching end of business. Fine with me. Nurses tend to be more compassionate than Dr.’s during a birth anyway… especially a female Dr. or midwife. And the nurses do a fine job. :-)
army_wife says:
The last delivery I had really soured me on military hospital deliveries. I was not at all treated well.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that! You’ve just described something like my own nightmares I’ve had about the delivery – rude nurses, lack of care, the conveyor-belt system, unneccessary and un-asked for monitoring/interventions, when all power is pretty much stripped from you (including the time when the baby has to be born). HOW in the world they can tell a woman in labour not to push??? It’s like telling someone who’s about to sneeze – not to do it! Unbelievable. It’s the stories like that that make me want to give birth at home… But with the first baby I feel I’m not confident enough yet for that. At least I know our hospital is a “mother – friendly” one, where I will be the one deciding what to do during labour (eg, walk, sit, dance, go into the water) and what medical interventions/monitoring I want/don’t want. Will thinking of having a doula as well (found one that is still trainee and doesn’t charge as much as fully qualified ones, so we’ll see). It’s mostly for mu husband though, as I imagine he’ll be totally freked out and will need some reassurance :) Maybe you should also look into some trainee doulas, at least in UK you can find some even working for free to gain experience.
Good luck with your labour and birth! I wish everything will go smoothly this time ;) I’ll be the first though, our baby is due on Christmas Day :)
Heather, 11:33 a.m. Aug. 5: i wont address them as Douglas anymore then i would refer to an abortionist a doctor
Strange days indeed, Heather. ; )
I will never forget being told NOT to push when every fiber of my being HAD to push.
With my 4th I had a doula and a midwife in the hospital for a waterbirth.
My midwife said, “You just do whatever your body is telling you to do.”
Coulda kissed her.
o my army wife how awful! nothing worse then rude medical personnel! I’ve ripped rude doctors and nurses up one side and down the other when i had to.
I’m not too crunchy-granola about the whole birth thing. I wouldn’t do the home-birth thing. I’m OK with medical intervention WHEN NECESSARY. But a little compassion and common courtesy would be good – and I think it’s important for the medical staff to listen carefully when someone tells them something about their body. I’m not a textbook robot and I know my body better than they do – they make too many assumptions about things they “know” about my body but everybody is an individual. When I say “I give birth fast” I don’t mean four hours from now.
I’m going to have a long conversation about this with the OB during one of my appointments, whenever I can manage to get an appointment (at the rate they are going, I probably won’t get in to see an actual OB before 20 weeks by LMP dating). I will not stand for being treated that way again. I’m not able to put my foot down at all when I am in hard labor. They’re going to have to be told ahead of time.
army wife
I hear what your saying about how ignorant people can be. Your experience sounds even worse than mine. VA hospitals from I’ve heard have the same low standards charity hospitals have. Maybe people will start to speak up and things will change. I think something that would probably work very well for you is the next time you go to deliver if you have no choice but to go there get your husband to bring a camcorder if that’s allowed and maybe they will treat you better. I don’t see why you wouldn’t qualify for a medicaid card then you could go to a hospital that would treat you with dignity. For my last two pregnancies I had a medicaid card and the hospitals I went to were both nice and I was treated humanely and they didn’t assault my dignity. A lot of what you mentioned I think might not be legal. I’m not sure but I think you have a right to privacy. You sound so pragmatic that I think any order for you to complain things must have been really bad. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I’m praying that God sends an angel to you that will be just as pragmatic and will help them to treat you better.
Vita
I’m glad your going to a hospital and it sounds like you will be treated well. Something else I read is that walking during your pregnancy is very important. Your so right about what you said about gravity. To me I think the ideal situation assuming the mom doesn’t need a C-section is to have a birthing chair or something made like it that is very comfortable and having that in water. To me that would be ideal and of course she should at the very least have a birthing coach with her or a doula in addition to a very qualified doctor. I’m praying that when you go to deliver God will send an angel just to be there for you.
Love your birth stories everyone. Sorry for those who had difficult births. I worked in mother-baby and L&D and love doulas and nurse midwives because they empower women and their families. For those who can’t afford a doula and want one go on line to dona.org for the name of a Doula Training Coordinator who may have doulas-in-training who need to attend birhts or call your local health dept or WIC programs or Healthy Families Program (sometimes through VNA) they may know of volunteer doulas or special programs that provide low income moms, doulas. Having experienced low-tech and non-medicated birth empowered me to help other women.do the same. It is AWESOME!. I LOVE BABIES AND LOVE BEING PROLIFE! An abortion hand holder is a disgusting role reversal of doulas. Like becoming an angel of death for the search and destroy mission of abortion committed against innocent unborn babies. Like someone else said, Why would you need a death support person (I refuse to call them doulas) if abortion is so easy for women and never causes any emotional trauma? Good grief pro-aborts your fake house of cards is collapsing.
Pro Lifer
Because you’ve worked in L&D can you think of any situation where a womans life would be at risk if she weren’t in a hospital and was about to deliver.
I have a high pain tolerance too, Carla. Had 3 births with no anesthesia. However the last one, which was an induction, made me very aware of why women who are induced have epidurals almost every time.
The first two when I labored naturally were much more tolerable. The pain of childbirth is quite manageable – don’t panic, ladies! :)
:)
Kels right even when I was in a lot of pain it was manageable and when you hold your baby it’s all worth it.
i was induced with 3 out of 4 of my kids. the pain was basically all the same for me
in fact i was in labor for. 22 hours with my second. they encouraged me to walk and apply. my Lamaze breathing-i had taken the Lamaze. course
it really helps lots but exhaustion won out
i got my Demerol and epidural and slept until pushing. time
Until Kel made the statement for those of you who are expecting not to panic it didn’t even cross my mind that my own experiences might cause you to be apprehensive about giving birth. Sometimes I’m really, really challenged when it comes to other peoples feelings. My bad experience happened way back in 1982 and my greataunts was a long time before I was even around. Ignorance unfortunately is still alive and well in some places. My suggestion is to bring someone with you that you know will be supportive that really makes a big difference and take note that most of the birth experiences discussed on this thread were good ones. :)
i never felt bad about needing meds labor was hard on me i was hungry thirsty tired and in extreme pain. not to mention 9 months of pregnancy wore me out why not catch a little nap before. PUSHING?
“myrtle miller says:
August 6, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Vita
To me I think the ideal situation assuming the mom doesn’t need a C-section is to have a birthing chair or something made like it that is very comfortable and having that in water. To me that would be ideal and of course she should at the very least have a birthing coach with her or a doula in addition to a very qualified doctor. I’m praying that when you go to deliver God will send an angel just to be there for you. “
Awww, thank you so much for well wishes and encouragement!!! I do really really want a water birth, so if nothing goes wrong and the birthing pool is free, I’ll definitely do that. If not – I’m educating myself on alternative options too :) Gotta be well prepared :)
God bless!
o boy army wife are you correct about. these doctors not listening to you about your body. i know my body better then any o them. many doctors caused me to remain sick or become even sicker because their fat egos. wouldn’t allow them to listen to me!
I’m a grandma now. But I wish you Moms the best in your birthing experiences. Interesting remark, Biggz made about post-abortion syndrome just being one variant of postpartum depression. I had no postpartum depression after my three live births, but 28 years after my abortion of my first child, I began praying in front of abortion centers (after both of my parents had passed on); at 30 years, I began praying there daily (after I retired from my job) until my husband complained about the excessive amount of time. I have to believe that the postpartum due to abortion is different from the postpartum due to miscarriage or birth.
I checked out the word “doula” in the dictionary, and it means a woman who assists other women during labor and childbirth. In other words, a midwife. That someone who is supposed to bring life into the world would work to kill it is outrageous. I would be afraid to have a person who helps kill babies assist me in labor and childbirth. I’d wonder if my baby was really safe in her hands.
Soon we will see articles called something like “Making Abortion Beautiful” or “The Blessings of Abortion”. Before Rome fell murder was a sport. Today as the American Christian culture circles the drain, murdering your own child is blessing.
Jo
I think the only things circling or the vultures circling the dead unborn.
typo:
It should read. The only things circling are the vultures circling babies who were never given a chance at life.
I just had my 7th baby at home with a doctor and midwife attending. In the water. And I really don’t care what Biggz has to say about it.
How could someone who thinks women have the right to murder her unborn children feel like he has any right to even comment on the manner in which I choose to bring them in to the world?
Normal pregnancy and birth are natural parts of fertility, not diseases to be treated. If there is a problem, bring in the surgeon, if not, leave the process alone. Part of the lie that even pro-lifers have embraced is that even normal pregnancy is a dangerous, scary thing, and women need doctors to deliver them from the horror of it all. What a load of crap!
Are there ‘doulas’ who serve at the humane society facilitiating the euthenization of kittens and puppies?
The misguided souls who offer emotional support to women who are killing their pre-natal children are NOT doulas, they are ‘ghoulas’.
Susan,
My wife gave birth to all five of our children in the hospital.
[Her body, her choice.]
She does not like to surf the wave of pop culture. Tends to be a little reserved.
Our hospital had birthing suites, complete with birthing chairs.
No ‘water deliveries’ were offerred.
The concept was intriquing, but I was just the ‘coach’ [“hooo, hooo, hooo; he, he, he. More ice chips, honey? Remember your happy place.”].
My wife was the one in the game.
Our ‘new age/bruja’ lamaze instructor was all I could handle. Thank GOD she was not present for any of the births.
Nice enough gal. I just didn’t care much for the demons to whom she sublet dwelling space.
Hi Myrtle Miller I am just getting a chance to see your question. I will try to answer briefly. MOST women need not worry, because birth for a healthy, low-risk woman is RARELY life threatening. Most potential problems can be picked up during the pregnancy with good prenatal care. But yes, there are situations where a woman’s life could be in jeopardy if she is not in a hospital but they are indeed rare. Probably 1% of women develop complications requiring an immediate C-Section for instance placental problems like a severe abuption (separation) of the placenta, an uterine rupture, or the other possible reason for an immedicate C-Section would involve severe fetal distress (drop in the fetal heart rate). Even in these rare cases usually there is time to transfer a woman to the nearest hospital and she and her baby will probably be FINE. Those healthcare practitioners who opt to do homebirths are quite aware of this so plan ahead to deal with this if needed and most importantly, they watch their patients carefully (probably more carefully than hospital staff because they do 1 on 1 care, know what to look for, don’t ignore potential warning signs, know their patient and listen carefully to their patient). My opinion is that the reason certified nurse-midwifes and professional lay-midwives have such low numbers of of complications is not just because they choose their patients carefully but because they pay more attention, listen carefully to their patients, and give 1 to 1 care which reduces fear, tension and pain in their patients. The mind-body-spirit connection is phenominal and ignored by many (but not all) healthcare providers. There are a couple of rarer potential complications that I missed but I think for any pregnant ladies on this thread I can pass going into them, they need to be optimistic and prayerful going into labor. Hope this helps. God bless.
pro-lifer
Thanks. I knew there had to be instances when the hospital setting would be the safest. That’s actually been proven that the more support the expectant mother receives the better she does. Theres also massages that can be done that release natural oxycotin ( I think I spelled that right). There is really a lot of good information on line. I really can empathize with army wife although I’ve never been in a VA hospital my oldest was born in a charity hospital. I’m not sure how it is with the VA hospital but complaints to a charity hospital are seldom addressed and when they are the situation is remedied for a while then it goes back to it’s previous state. When I offer what I hope is practical advice it’s because I know how ignorant the system can be. It’s hard to imagine if you’ve never been in a hospital that is challenged. When I encourage army wife to have some sort of game plan it’s not to frighten her it’s so she will be prepared. I also know that the VA standards are not very good. Because I’ve spent a lot of time in hospitals with my son I’m fully aware of the difference support can mean for a patient because I’ve witnessed it. I also think what pregnant moms have to go through is sometimes almost criminal especially those who have to go to state run or VA hospitals and because we’re women we allow things to occur that men just would not tolerate. That’s why I suggested the camcorder and a support system. An example of abuse to me is when she said she tore and of course they did not give her enough local. Why didn’t they give her enough local? There is no excuse for that type of negligence. What they would probably need is a site where they could comment on the type of treatment they received. Maybe then things would get better. God bless you too.
ooo Ken i love that!
myrtle, there is always the possibility that my body is less sensitive to local anesthetic than other people’s and that I might require more than the “usual dose”, but I really think it’s not unreasonable for the person doing the sewing (presumably the OB) to notice my complaints and do something about it. At least they gave me some demerol after a little while so I have to give them credit there, but I got the feeling at the time that they did so to make me hush up and quit complaining rather than out of concern for my comfort level.
The pain is worth the baby, though (even if I did have to deal with hateful staff and the stitches). I still remember when they first held him up – what a head of hair that kid had! He’ll be 2 the day before I’m due with this little one. I hope these kiddos don’t end up sharing a birthday, but it’s quite possible!
For all those expecting moms on here: I HIGHLY reccommend Earth Mama Angel Baby “New Mama Bottom Spray”. I first tried this stuff with my 2nd and now I will never, ever have a baby without it. Especially if stitches are involved, this stuff is a real Godsend. It helps with the pain and inflammation, nice and cooling, and smells nice (like cucumber). It’s worth the price (if I recall, about $12 but don’t quote me). I’m not affiliated, I just wanted to share the info because this stuff is a lifesaver for new mamas.
army wife
Try not to give them too much credit. Because of my sons’ frequent hospital stays in the past I’ve seen charity hospitals and private hospitals deny children pain relief. So if there denying children pain relief I’m assuming their doing it to adults too. You should really try to get you a medicaid card you probably qualify and you would be treated so much better. Once after having my last son I had a C-section everything went well the anestiolagist (?) was really kind anyway that evening I was in pain go figure I had just had a C-section. And it was the one where they cut you vertically anyway theres more pain I think because there’s more muscles or nerves being cut into.So anyway I’m in pain and needed medication. In order to get medication I had to convince the doctor that if I got something for pain I would probably have a better nights sleep thus my recovery would be quicker. Can you imagine and the really sad part is that I really believed there must be something wrong with me for asking for pain medication. Don’t make excuses for them they’re just mean spirited. I’m praying this time everything goes really well for you. And your right when you hold your baby it’s always worth it. I think that is the difference between post-partum depression and the degree of depression ladies face after they have an abortion. They have no baby just memories of what they lost. My daughter she’s 28 now and because I was on antibiotics for my kidneys they had to keep her a little longer than usual. Anyway when I was leaving the hospital with her someone stopped me to tell me how beautiful she was. She only weighed 5 pounds 5 ounces and she looked like a little doll. God must be healing my heart usually I feel nothing for women who abort just because they don’t want there baby. Now I feel a little sorry for them. I prayed recently for a place and I prayed that it would have the Peace and Understanding of God and the love of Christ. Since I’ve prayed that I’ve started to feel those same things in my own heart. My prayers for others are usually answered and I’m praying for you. :)
Myrtle. that was some good food for thought o also never used to give post abortive. women a second thought because i just. figured they got what they wanted there were times o also felt contempt for them but the other day i ran into a former coworker who aborted 13 yrs ago or so and was inconsolable. last time we spoke of the abortion. i dropped off that book for her I’ll hold you in heaven”
alot can change in 13 years but this woman confessed to me that she knew she’d done the wrong thing the day she did it and she also knew it was a girl she’d. had many dreams about her. she even. told me she’d saved the ultrasound pic and told me she knows the baby is in heaven with her aunt mom etc
Do not assume anything about post abortive women. We are all at different stages of recovery. We are hated by some prolifers and some proaborts. If you have only contempt for women that have aborted you might want to get to the bottom of that and pray for a heart of compassion.
I’ll Hold You in Heaven by Jack Hayford is a precious book.
Thank you, Heather.
Biggz-
The average time lapse between a woman’s abortion experience and the onset of post abortion trauma symptoms is 5-7 years, though sometimes it’s shorter, sometimes much longer. I have counselled women 20, 30 and 40 years after their abortions, still suffering through nightmares, flashbacks, relationship disfunction, self-harming behaviors, depression, anxiety and more. I have counselled women whose PAS has been triggered by her husband’s vasectomy, the onset of menopause, the last child leaving home or the birth of the first grandchild. PAS is far more than a hormonal disturbance at the end of pregnancy. Not everyone gets it, but those who do deserve our professional care. Closing your eyes to their pain does not make it go away.
Carla truely the last emotion o wish to feel for post abortive women is contempt! i had my first 2 children was from a ten year relationship of fornication
we went our separate ways and my ex hooked up with. a woman named Theresa. Theresa and i started off on friendly terms and she had a young daughter who lived with her
i couldn’t help but notice. that she was very verbally abusive to her daughter
she also had a drinking problem
my ex ended up getting her pregnant. and i asked her what her plans were. and she replied “an abortion I’m. not. having it”! that’s when i asked her if she’d. ever aborted before. she replied oh yeah 7 times! i was shocked! she then asked “so what it’s. my body” she was so callous it gave me chills
Oh, I know that Heather. :) I was just typing for those that might be reading.
Michelle PRC ED,
THANK YOU!! Thank you for your help and support and care for those struggling after their abortions. Thank you for trying to educate Biggz. :)
God bless you!!
My wife gave birth to all five of our children in the hospital.
[Her body, her choice.]
She does not like to surf the wave of pop culture. Tends to be a little reserved.
Ken, what makes you think that a non-hospital birth is some pop culture trend? It seems dismissive to say that in direct response to someone who has just shared her home-birth experiences.
say Carla maybe that book forbidden. grief will help me understand
Alexandra – I totally agree with you. A person who claims that home birth is riding a pop culture wave must think that his great-grandmother was one of the biggest hipsters around.
Long history short – birth was normally attended at home in the US until WWII. After a public relations campaign using racial fears to demonize midwives and home births, profit motivated doctors and hospitals influenced society to view birth as something dangerous which needed to be controlled. C-section rates have sky-rocketed, and neonatal morbidity and mortality are shockingly high considering we spend the most per capita on births.
Ken – I had two births in the hospital. I was assaulted by the doctor during one of them. You have no right to comment on my birth choices in such a derogatory way.
I guess I am just one of those radical pop culture junkies who thinks that God didn’t screw up when he designed my body and I don’t need a man’s permission or help to give birth the way nature intended.
Carla
Forgiveness for me is a journey. I carry a lot of hurt. Although my mind knows better when I think of women who abort I always assume it’s for selfish reasons. I know better because someone I know was forced to have an abortion. Not my mom but someone I was friends with. My mom was very passive aggressive and because of a lot of very bad decisions on her part she put my life at risk more than one time and once allowed someone access to a weapon who could have used it own me. This was not accidental it was done purposely. I know when women abort it’s for a lot of reasons but I think most women abort because they don’t want to be bothered. I also experienced a lot of that with my mom. So when you read my posts and probably pick up on my very negative feelings towards women it’s really not all women it’s those who just don’t won’t to be bothered. I think another reason it was hard for me to see the humanity of women when they were being selfish is because I still seen the situation through the eyes of child thinking that if they received too much mercy the killing would continue that because they were women they could not and would not be held accountable. I’ve also seen a lot of this in my life. Until very recently I was not able to see the humanity of women who kill because they don’t want to be bothered. But because I prayed for another situation God has begun a work in my own heart. And now I can see them better with the eyes of my savior who loves them just as he loved me when I didn’t love myself. I’m starting to see them through the eyes of love his eyes not mine. So that’s where I’m at in my journey. If I have ever offended you through my posts please forgive me it was not intentional I don’t see you as being a perpetrator I see you as someone who really cares about what happens to unborn children and of course I don’t see as clearly as you do the pain of post abortive women but I’m starting to. Even through all of my own unforgiveness I still wanted to help them to keep their babies. God bless you Carla.
Susan
That doesn’t surprise me at all. I was sexually assaulted in a hospital and nothing was done about it. He didn’t have to leave his place of employment I choose to take my son to another hospital because I was treated so rudely after it happened. And the incident didn’t take place where I usually brought my son to have blood drawn it happened in the clinic where he was being seen. That day for some reason the lab workers came to the clinic to draw my sons blood. When we were leaving my son was in a wheelchair at the time he came up from behind and put his hand on the right part of my breast after reporting the incident I was rudely informed by my son’s doctor that this was not part of my breast. I’m sad for you that your right to be safe was violated but I’m happy that you were able to have your babies at home. This is a choice that you should never have had to make. When I went to press charges against him I learned that what he done was just considered a misdemeanor. I prayed that if he was really sorry for his actions that God would have mercy on him and I also prayed that if he wasn’t sorry that God would also see about it.
Myrtle,
God bless you!
You have never offended me. I just look for opportunities to help others see that post abortive women really do need compassion and help and healing. There is a lot of misunderstanding. I have listened to and read countless abortion stories and it breaks my heart. Every.Time.
Heather,
Forbidden Grief is an excellent resource. The part about women getting multiple abortions helped me out too.
Carla
Oh good, I thought I had insulted you. I took piano this summer and am taking a Fiddle course this fall semester and I will also be taking piano lessons. I hope to get good enough so I can go to abortion clinics and just bring music to them and hopefully minister to moms and help them to want to keep their babies . It’s something I’ve been thinking about. Should I ever say anything that offends you just let me know.
I am not easily offended. :)
What a heart you have, myrtle!!
Thanks for the prayers Myrtle. Much appreciated!
i also feel that i can talk to Carla. about the good the bad and the ugly and she will guide. you. and not judge you. she
Carla rocks!
Carla. is a very. level headed mod and i think pro life or pro choice we are all glad she’s. here!
Carla
What a spirit of a true warrior you have. A caring warrior for the unborn and their moms!
army wife
You are so welcome. If you don’t mind keep me in prayer too. School starts back for us on the 23rd.
And if anyone else wants to pray for me please pray specifically that I could take Calculus and Physics and do well. I’m not required to take them but I think I should have the ability to do this and am disappointed that I struggle with math. The prayers I pray that often get answered are when a couple are having trouble to conceive my prayers work when I’m able to see that they would be good parents. And when someone is really sick where doctors have given up or the prognosis is really poor I have a lot of faith in prayer cloths for the sick. So if you need prayer keep me busy and ask!
What sweet words to read!
Thank you!!
Heather,
There is really not much that surprises or shocks me anymore. The good, the bad or the ugly. :)
and. Carla. said. try. not to feel contempt a character defect of mine that needs work. i can promise. to try. even in open court Casey. Anthony’s dad says she deserves prayer. God. help me not to hate her like i do!
even in open court Casey. Anthony’s dad says she deserves prayer. God. help me not to hate her like i do!
Well h, I guess it’s not like with O.J. Simpson, who said he “was going to find the real killer.” I don’t know how serious he was, but he did go from golf course to golf course for some reason….
Doug lol
no Doug. she’s. looking for zanny. the nanny