A feminist awakens to “real living”
We had complete freedom and were dependent on no one. Most of the women I worked with had impressive graduate degrees, in fields like computer science and electrical engineering.
Yet… almost every single one of the women I worked with during this time is now a housewife who either doesn’t work or only works part time. Nearly all of us left our careers to stay home and raise kids. Why?
It’s for the same reason that so many women of all different backgrounds are drawn to blogs that feature images of a family-centered, faith-filled life:
This is what real living looks like….
Back in my career days, I thought that living life to the fullest meant racking up impressive credentials and being as self-sufficient as possible.
But the universal truth that I stumbled across in my own life, that bursts from the pages of countless mommy blogs by women of faith, is that the meaning of life is to give, to share, and to open yourself to the point that your life becomes inextricably entwined with the lives of others.
~ Jennifer Fulwiler, National Catholic Register, November 7
[Photo via faithandfamilyreviews.com]
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Left my PhD program because I knew I wanted to have a family. When God blessed me with kids, I was able to stay home for 10 years. Amazing, crazy decade! I have never looked back.
The most fulfilled I have ever felt has been during the last two years as a stay at home mom. I hated working and leaving my son with his grandmother all day. I wanted to be his mommy not just his birth mother and I had to work so many hours I missed so much precious time with him. The happiest day of my life was the day I was given the pink slip. We didn’t plan for me to stay home, thought we could never make it work but we have and I have loved every minute of being with my son. And I can’t wait to be a full time mommy to my second son. My heart aches for every mom who wants to stay home and for whatever reason, can’t. I know its hard. Your heart is always with your children.
I can say my job performance reviews are the best they’ve ever been. Just this morning my son told me “Mommy, I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”
I too left the full-time working world when my oldest daughter was born – now we have two daughters and I loved being at home raising them and spending time with them. I have only had very part-time work – but my focus was on them. They are both out of the house now (oldest for a job and youngest for school) and my husband and I are newly empty-nesters. I loved being with my children, and it made a difference with them and our family. I now do a lot of pro-life work and other ministry and don’t regret being there for my husband and family.
Sharing my heart and time was the best thing – for everyone. I am really proud of them and they have grown up to be amazing, faith-filled women with good hearts.
The most fulfilled I have ever felt has been during the last two years as a stay at home mom. I hated working and leaving my son with his grandmother all day. I wanted to be his mommy not just his birth mother and I had to work so many hours I missed so much precious time with him.
I always wanted to stay at home, but my ex-husband was the type that insisted I bring in some sort of income, even though he probably could have supported the family on his salary. I remember when I had to put our daughter in daycare, I cried.
Let’s remember that women who don’t have children can be fulfilled and happy, too.
This article is typical in ignoring who it is who — usually — makes it possible for women to choose full-time mothering: men. Did the men want the women to stay home with the children because it gave the men greater peace of mind?
How were the men affected by the added stress of being the family’s only breadwinner?
Was this stress offset by the greater peace of mind noted above?
A one-earner family can easily become a no-earner family. Was consideration given to this possibility?
For women to not participate in the paid labor market, someone has to pay the bills. Ignoring men in this equation is extremely unfair.
I assume that this is a discussion a married couple is supposed to have BEFORE they get married (Calling KIm Kardashian!!). When your vision for your family is united, then there will be more harmony when it comes to childcare decisions.
I did not marry a vain man who cared about clothes, cars and other expensive stuff. He grew up on a dairy farm and understood how a family has to all come together. I don;t think he saw his role as stressful, being the only breadwinner–I think it actually took a lot of stress off of him because we each knew where our “territories” and responsibilities lay. He focused on his job as a coach and educator, and I focused on my babies and home. We drive a 2001 Camry and a 1993 F-150, and I get most of our clothes from Goodwill and thrift shops. Like I said, I have never looked back.
I know two households where the man is the stay-at-home mom. It’s not easy, but their wives had higher incomes and better health benefits. If couples can make it work, more power to them.
When I say we should talk about the POV of the man who becomes the sole breadwinner, I’m not saying there is anything in the slightest wrong with the woman opting out of the paid labor market. Rather, we should always consider what it does to the man, whether it alleviates stress for him or whether he feels under greater stress. Does he feel obligated to work more overtime? Does he worry more about the possibility that he may lose his job and the family become a no-earner family? These are all valid questions and men’s feelings must be considered.
Two of my favorite TV characters are June Cleaver and Aunt Bee. Both show the importance of domestic work.
I have long thought I would have been very happy as a frontier wife–tending the farm animals, canning food, caring for and schooling children, feeding hordes of hungry farm workers. I’m currently working part-time and looking forward to next spring when I will stay home with our first-born!
The only trouble I foresee is keeping a toddler (when he/she gets older) entertained in our very small condo!
This article wasn’t written about men, Denise. Why do you always do that? It’s annoying. Your thoughts on what WAS written would be much appreciated.
I love what she wrote!! Totally agree!!
Left a teaching career to stay home. So glad I did!!
Carla says:
November 10, 2011 at 4:33 pm
This article wasn’t written about men, Denise. Why do you always do that? It’s annoying. >>
(Denise) The simple fact is that most treatments of women who leave the paid labor market act as if women are the only ones who are concerned. Whoever is footing the bill for it is also concerned, whether that is a husband, a taxpayer, or whoever. Since it is usually husbands, the effect of being sole breadwinner on them must always be taken into consideration. As I wrote, some may be positively affected because they are more secure that the child is safe. Others may be negatively affected because they feel more strain or have to work more overtime.
It isn’t necessarily a man footing the bill, of course. The stay-at-home-mom could be living on a trust fund, supported by her own mother or other relatives, or supported by the taxpayer through welfare. That should be dealt with in the article.
<<Your thoughts on what WAS written would be much appreciated.
I love what she wrote!! Totally agree!!
Left a teaching career to stay home. So glad I did!!>>
(Denise) I believe the paid labor market has been far too glamorized and over-valued. The decision by to stay home to raise children is completely understandable.
Most jobs in the paid labor market are not fulfilling “careers” and many people, including many men, actively dislike their jobs. One of my brothers strongly dislikes his job as a cook in an expensive restaurant. He said, “I’ve spent the last years smashing lambs’ testicles into dishes. I’d just as soon stay home and change a few poopee diapers!” Another male friend looks forward to retiring. His job was recently changed from incoming calls and filing to just telephone soliciting. He finds it torturous to spend hour after hour making phone calls and endlessly reciting a script. He makes about 300 calls a day and is lucky to get one lead a day.
Full-time domesticity, by contrast, offers much in the way of variation and opportunities for independence and creativity.
Then there are those who look down on us “Homemakers” (I prefer that term ;) )
Some act as if you couldn’t POSSIBLY be fulfilled if you’re not working 9 to5, or that you “don’t work” (yea, right!) because you’re too lazy or too stupid to get/hold a job. I’ve had jobs since I was 11 years old. I worked right up until I was 5-6 months pregnant with our daughter.
Sure, the income is nice, but I’m MUCH more fulfilled giving my husband a HOME to come to at the end of the work day and actually getting to nurture and help MOLD and TEACH a little human being.
I was in child-care for about 24 years…I KNOW what mommies miss out on when they’re at work. Those are precious moments you’ll never get back.
My “paycheck” is all those little drawings on my refrigerator, and all the chocolate/peanut butter/jelly -covered kisses and hugs I get. :D
Being a house wife is by no means an easy task. People would look down on me when my husband and I decided it be best for me to be a stay at home mom. Even my mother in-law would tell me my daughter would be better off in a daycare so she could learn things. People assume stay at home moms do nothing but watch soaps all day.
You can imagine my satisfaction when they found out I taught my daughter her alphabet in English and Spanish, to count from 1 to 10 also in English and Spanish, colors and shapes. She learned it all a little before she turned 2 yr. old. She started reading at 3 and half. I’m proud to say my daughter is now in the 1st grade G/T program.
I’m now a stay at home mom for our second daughter who needs me more because she has a progressive terminal disease called Spinal Muscular Atrophy.
Sure my husband complains about his job but when he’s had to take my job at home (when I am sick) he always tells me he is glad I’m the one that stays home. He says his job is a piece of cake compared to mine.
Pamela, lol! I hear ya! People ask what I do. I tell them I’m a stay at home mom. They say “Oh you don’t work?” Um, no I actually work very hard. I work ALL day. My work day doesn’t start at 9, it starts as soon as the kiddo is awake. And it doesn’t end at 5. Sometimes it requires hard work through the night. And its the most fulfilling job I’ve ever had.
My husband does have a lot of financial pressure on him but for us, I have found him to be happier being the man of the house and the provider and he enjoys coming home to dinner on the table and a clean house. My son enjoys having his mommy with him all day. For our family at least, the traditional roles work very well.
Part of the reason I mentioned the men’s POV is that I grew up around women who usually were full-time homemakers. They felt free to routinely bite the hands that fed them. They bitched about men in general, running them down as a sex, while also often nagging and criticizing their husbands in particular. They usually believed that mothers should be home full-time but felt no obligation to express gratitude to the people — men — who made this possible often by working at jobs that were difficult, tedious, and even in some cases dirty and dangerous.
Working hard isn’t bad if you enjoy your job and receive satisfaction from it. Many people, both men and women, do not like their paid jobs. My brother’s job as a cook may not be especially hard but he simply does not like it or receive satisfaction from it. My friend who makes telephone soliciting jobs every day isn’t just “working hard” but is working at something he actively dislikes and from he receives no real satisfaction. He experiences “relief” when he gets a lead but that is about as positive as it gets from an emotional POV.
As I wrote, two of my favorite TV characters are June Cleaver and Aunt Bee. I believe they show how powerful and important domesticity can be. Aunt Bee was known for her good cooking and that character brought together physical and emotional nourishment.
In recent years, I’ve dropped the “stay” part of the “stay at home” mom to “at home” mom or “homemaker”, because, heck, we work and work hard!! We just do not have a paycheck to show for our efforts. In all my “frustrating” “my head’s a wreck” days when my kids can drive me quite bonkers for the past 14 years, I can honestly say it is all worth it. One can never get this time back and if a couple is blessed enough for one to stay home, then do it! My heart also aches for those who can’t be home with their kiddies due to a job outside the home. I find it so odd that the women’s lib movement has worked so hard at telling women that they will be empowered if they have a career, education and all that. Yes, that can be true for some, but how empowering it is to grow a baby inside you, birth that baby or babies, and mold and form them. That is the ultimate in being empowered!
I’ve worked inside the home and outside the home, and there is no doubt which is more important and which is harder.
For those who prefer full-time domesticity: shouldn’t you say something good about those people — men, in most cases — who made it possible?
The cliché “It’s a man world,” is shown up as a lie when you consider that men often work dirty, dangerous, boring jobs so they can support women who wish to work full-time at mothering. They deserve a lot of credit.
Before people get too complacent, however, we should note that full-time domesticity puts a person in an economically precarious position. The value of one’s labor drops drastically in the paid labor market after a sojourn from it. A woman I know wrote an article about her regrets because she is “broke” since her divorce.
Legal protections should be in place for the full-time homemaker. This could include reviving alimony and making it more common that it currently is.
A guaranteed annual income might also address this issue.
Finally, I think we should get rid of the term “welfare mother.” At-home mothers should not be defined by the source of support.
I like my wife staying home, and shes does too.
Jasper says:
November 11, 2011 at 6:19 am
I like my wife staying home, and shes does too.
(Denise) Should women praise men since they make this choice possible?
Also, have you saved up money or done something to make provisions in case you lose your job so she can still be an at-home mother?
Have you made provisions so she can continue in this way in the event of your death?
Miss Noe,
It sounds as if you have a lot of emotional baggage from growing up in the home you did. It sounds as though the women in your life rather scarred you and were very severe and quite full of (misdirected?) animosity.
How was your relationship with the men in your life as you developed? Aside from those you’ve mentioned who seemed they had the intention of preying upon you?
Agreed, Xalisae.
It is not my husband’s responsibility to make sure I get stay home for the rest of my life after he dies! I would expect that I support myself and my children with a career in the event of his death.
So glad that everyone I know worked it ALL out with their husbands beforehand and prayerfully considered being a SAHM. btw I thank him all the time for this opportunity.
You are grasping, Denise.
“They felt free to routinely bite the hands that fed them.”
If one spouse is working in the home and the other is working outside the home, both positions are contributing equally and feeding each other.
With transexuals, the mom can be a stay-at-home man.
Denise,
I think it’s sad that you jump to so many conclusions! Xalisae is probably right – I think you were deeply scarred from your childhood.
By talking about how much we love being a stay at home mom (I’m not there yet, but it is the goal), we are not in any way saying we aren’t grateful to the men in our lives. And if worse comes to worst, I know that many of these women who are saying they are cherishing their time at home raising kids would not be above going out and getting a job if they had to. I know personally I thank my husband all of the time for what he does for (and he’s not even the primary breadwinner!).
Denise,
It seems to me that Jennifer Fulwiler is basically debunking the feminist idea that to be truly fulfilled a woman should have a career just like a man traditionally had. Of course men should be credited if they are at home with the children while mom is bringing in the paycheck. While having an advanced degree or degrees is a noble achievement and something to be proud of, many of us don’t believe that we need to have the “credentials” following our name to show how accomplished we are. There is dignity in the vocation of parenthood.
xalisae says:
November 11, 2011 at 9:22 am
Miss Noe,
It sounds as if you have a lot of emotional baggage from growing up in the home you did. It sounds as though the women in your life rather scarred you and were very severe and quite full of (misdirected?) animosity.
(Denise) Yes, it scarred me. It’s a large part of the reason I’m handicapped.
<<How was your relationship with the men in your life as you developed? Aside from those you’ve mentioned who seemed they had the intention of preying upon you?>>
(Denise) I preferred, and still prefer, the company of men to that of women. My ex-husband knew I couldn’t support myself so he made provisions for me that I would receive alimony for 25 years after our divorce. The alimony isn’t enough to live famously on but covers the basics of food, rent, clothing, etc. He had a clause put in that he is obligated to pay the alimony even if I re-marry. He wanted the alimony to be until one of us dies but the law in our state doesn’t allow for that. After the alimony ends, I will receive social security through him because we were married long enough and he gave me a retirement investment account.
The “women’s lib” priestesses of the early 1970s often had a distorted view of “work.” Kate Millett was an artist and Germaine Greer an academic. MOST men worked at jobs that were far less inspiring. If my friend who is a telephone solicitor was to win the lottery, he would quit his job in a New York minute.
I thank Denise Noe for making this point before I could. We stand up and applaud when a woman says, “I decided to be a full-time mom.” But if her husband were to say, “I’m with you! I’m sick of the rat race and I’m quitting my job so I can be with my kids instead of working myself to death in an office until 6:30 every night…” then we tell him to get his backside back out there, since he now has a wife AND child(ren) to support.
Pretty much every stay-at-home mom has an It’s-All-on-Me-Now husband.
bmmg39 says:
November 14, 2011 at 1:22 am
I thank Denise Noe for making this point before I could. We stand up and applaud when a woman says, “I decided to be a full-time mom.” But if her husband were to say, “I’m with you! I’m sick of the rat race and I’m quitting my job so I can be with my kids instead of working myself to death in an office until 6:30 every night…” then we tell him to get his backside back out there, since he now has a wife AND child(ren) to support.
Pretty much every stay-at-home mom has an It’s-All-on-Me-Now husband.
(Denise) Right. And men are rarely recognized for the sacrifices THEY make so the wife is able to be with the children full-time. Very often, that office job is neither glamorous nor especially fulfilling but may be stressful and boring. What’s more, men often work at jobs that are dirty and dangerous. The TV series “Dirty Jobs” tends to focus more on men at work than women at work although women are present in some episodes.
Women ought to express gratitude to those who make it possible for them to leave the paid labor market for homemaking.
I’m glad you see the point, bmmg39.
There is no way you could possibly know if women thank their husbands or not for allowing them to stay home!!
It is your opinion that men are RARELY RECOGNIZED.
(Denise) Right. And men are rarely recognized for the sacrifices THEY make so the wife is able to be with the children full-time. Very often, that office job is neither glamorous nor especially fulfilling but may be stressful and boring. What’s more, men often work at jobs that are dirty and dangerous. The TV series “Dirty Jobs” tends to focus more on men at work than women at work although women are present in some episodes.
Women ought to express gratitude to those who make it possible for them to leave the paid labor market for homemaking.
Right on Carla, Denise seems to be making a big deal for nothing.The article in no way tells women not to recognize or not to appreciate her husband. This particular article is about a lady who had different views and priorities before she had a family. The article is about the importance of family and how it should always come first. Also Denise seems to think women staying at home have an easy job and that is so not the case. I guess caring and educating the kids, keeping the house clean, always having clean and ironed clothing, keeping budget, running errands as paying bills, getting groceries, driving the older kids to their extra curricular activities, being the nurse when the kids and husband are sick and always having home cooked meals doesn’t show a husband gratitude for what he does. Being a homemaker is not a glamorous job, and can also be boring at times but we do it the best we can and we do it to be there for the children. I was very lucky to have a stay at home mom and I loved coming home from school and always seeing her there for us. I also appreciated the fact that my father worked hard for our family. My dad never looked down on my mom and my mom never looked down on my dad, they were a team and they both knew that their jobs were important. That is the way my husband and I work now. Focus on the messages this particular article is sending.
Diana: “Right on Carla, Denise seems to be making a big deal for nothing.The article in no way tells women not to recognize or not to appreciate her husband. This particular article is about a lady who had different views and priorities before she had a family. The article is about the importance of family and how it should always come first. Also Denise seems to think women staying at home have an easy job and that is so not the case.”
I don’t believe Denise was suggesting that at all. She was just pointing out that, while it’s great to prioritize by putting your family ahead of career, men often don’t have that luxury. If a man had said he’s quitting his job so he could take care of the household duties and spend more quality time with his kids, there would be many people calling him a deadbeat. You might not, Diana, and I hope you wouldn’t, but many others would, sadly.
bmmg39 says:
November 14, 2011 at 11:57 am
Diana: “Right on Carla, Denise seems to be making a big deal for nothing.The article in no way tells women not to recognize or not to appreciate her husband. This particular article is about a lady who had different views and priorities before she had a family. The article is about the importance of family and how it should always come first. Also Denise seems to think women staying at home have an easy job and that is so not the case.”
I don’t believe Denise was suggesting that at all. She was just pointing out that, while it’s great to prioritize by putting your family ahead of career, men often don’t have that luxury. If a man had said he’s quitting his job so he could take care of the household duties and spend more quality time with his kids, there would be many people calling him a deadbeat. You might not, Diana, and I hope you wouldn’t, but many others would, sadly.
(Denise) I’m also trying to point out that we should never ignore how it is made possible for anyone to stay home full-time with the children. It could be the government, a trust fund, a lesbian partner or wife — but it is usually a man. The person (or institution) that makes this possible should always be considered. The husband who is the sole support of the family should have his perspective and feelings given consideration.
I never indicated that homemaking is an easy job. But this article is about a woman finding it PREFERABLE to a paid job outside the home. I was making a similar point. You listed varied chores performed by a homemaker. Variation is one thing that makes jobs relatively pleasant — or unpleasant.
Who is ignoring the ones that allow us to stay home? Who is ignoring his perspective or his feelings?
Unless you are taking a poll I am not sure what direction you are trying to head.
I think you are just trying to “stir it up” Denise.
Carla! I may send you another FB PM soon if that’s ok.
It is not my husband’s responsibility to make sure I get stay home for the rest of my life after he dies! I would expect that I support myself and my children with a career in the event of his death.
I don’t think it’s as simplistic as whether or not it’s his responsibility to make sure you don’t have to work if he dies. I think it’s both spouses’ responsibility to prepare for reasonable expectations. Usually those don’t include dying while still a member of the workforce, thank goodness – but I do think that the topic of how one person’s income can support two people’s retirements should be a topic, every bit as much as the more common topic of whether one income can support a family. I rarely see retirement living mentioned in discussions or articles about affording single-income living, and I think they’re important concerns! It’s always frivolous discussions about dry cleaning and daycare and HBO.
One working spouse means lower (or no) SS benefits for the nonworking one. And while the Retirement Equity Act of 1984 guarantees that widows get survivor benefits from their husbands’ pensions, it doesn’t guarantee that they will get the same benefits – most women get around 50%. And many pension benefits are set up to end upon the death of the recipient. And then of course, it’s important to take all the necessary steps to ensure 401(k) or IRA beneficiary rights, since marriage does not guarantee them. I think a good step when budgeting as a single-income family is also figuring out if the couple can afford Spousal IRA contributions, too.
Covering the daily expenses is only one part of being a single-income family. It is certainly still possible to do it! My mother was a SAHM until we were in high school, and it was great! But ‘making it work’ is not always as simple as picking up and getting a job if the working spouse dies. This is all stuff I learned when a friend’s father died post-retirement age but still far younger than expected. My friend’s mother, who had stayed home all her life, was bewildered by how unprepared she was, financially. As she and her children navigated the labyrinth of everything, they all learned some really valuable factors to weigh into the cost-benefit analysis of staying home versus working, and to weigh against the emotional analysis.
Message away, Alexandra!
I don’t think there would be anything simplistic about my husband dying and me left with four to raise myself!!!
Denise,
You point out above how you are aware that most people, women and men are unhappy about their jobs but then you go on and try to make a point at how mostly the men are unhappy with their jobs. Most the women I know are unhappy with their jobs as well. Not all the ladies have exciting, glamorous, safe jobs. Most the ladies I know who hate their jobs are waitresses, work at convenient stores, at retail stores pulling heavy pallets and carrying heavy boxes to stock.
If women and men are only thinking of becoming homemakers because they are bored at work well let me tell you that is not a good reason. A woman or man should decide to be a homemaker because they are thinking of how it is going to benefit the children. If a couple is deciding they want someone to stay home with the kids they should think about it carefully. It’s very easy for a man and woman to say that he/she would rather be a homemaker (because they are bored of their job) but when put to the test many (not all) will be begging to go back to work. My husband is reminded of why he works outside the home every time he takes over my job when I am sick. By day 2 the home is a wreck and he is stressed and praying for me to get better. This even though he stays home from work when I’m sick, so you can’t say he is juggling both jobs at once.
It is different in every family, in another family the dad might be better at keeping the home together than the mom. That should be taken into consideration when deciding who will be the one to stay home. Now if in that family the woman’s income isn’t enough to support the family then they would just have to agree that since the lady is not a homemaker at heart then the kids would be better off at a daycare. So I’ll stress it again you should not be a homemaker just because you are bored with your job and that goes for both women and men. I personally decided to be a homemaker because I had the privilege to have a wonderful stay at home mom and a hard working dad and wanted to do the same for my children. Thank God I’m doing good since I had a great role model. My husband wants me so stay at home because he didn’t have a stay at home mom and wished he did.
As for you asking people and wanting to know about people’s budget or income… I feel that is personal information and it should be none of your concern.
Diane,
I’m not prying into their personal lives but trying to ask if they have made provisions should something happen to the single breadwinner. Personally, I believe in a guaranteed annual income and family allowance. That would permit more homemakers and probably ease economic fears connected with having babies.
There are a variety of reasons for becoming a homemaker. I just mentioned the bad jobs held by men because — usually, not always — it is the man who is the sole support of a one-income family.
My mother stayed home because, having stayed home when we were first born, she feared she wouldn’t be able to make it in the workplace. My dad wanted her to have a paid job but she didn’t. Much of her behavior, such as her saving of dirty tissues to re-use and waving them in my face when I complained about it, contributed to my developing a permanent psychiatric handicap.
I was a housewife when married. We didn’t have any kids. My handicap prevented me from holding down a job. I did the laundry and took my husband’s clothes to the dry cleaners but most housework was done by cleaning services. I was responsible for arranging for them.
I hold down a job now but still depend primarily on the alimony my decent ex-husband provides. I enjoy my job. Like the job of a homemaker, it is not easy but allows for a fair amount of variation.
Hey Carla – it would certainly not be simplistic if anyone’s husband died! But many people take simplistic approaches to difficult scenarios, both far-fetched and reasonable.
Yours truly would not take a simplistic approach.
I won’t be listing the provisions my husband and I have made in the event of his death but……..
No worries. :)
I don’t want to know anyone’s provisions! I think it’s simplistic to say, “I would obviously get a job if he died,” and I just didn’t want anyone reading to think that the financial concerns of a single-income family are as simple as whether one salary can afford the things you buy this month. Like I said, I have seen people fairly devastated by not considering these aspects – that’s all.
Ok then.
Totally confused by this conversation, Alexandra.
I have a degree. I will use it.
If that is simplistic or not simplistic does it really matter? I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I will take care of my family.
TWO WORDS: life insurance.
Courtnay says:
November 14, 2011 at 6:03 pm
TWO WORDS: life insurance.
(Denise) 2 words: Good idea.
Diana says:
November 14, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Denise,You point out above how you are aware that most people, women and men are unhappy about their jobs but then you go on and try to make a point at how mostly the men are unhappy with their jobs. Most the women I know are unhappy with their jobs as well. Not all the ladies have exciting, glamorous, safe jobs. Most the ladies I know who hate their jobs are waitresses, work at convenient stores, at retail stores pulling heavy pallets and carrying heavy boxes to stock.
(Denise) Diana, you can tell those ladies that I envy them. I envy the ability to hold down a job as a waitress or convenience store clerk. Some of us who are disabled can’t do that. I’m not being the least bit sarcastic. Efficient and pleasant restaurant servers are vital to making the experience of dining out the good experience that it should be. Similarly, convenience store clerks who give accurate change and are efficient and friendly are extremely important. People go to stores all the time so the experience there is important.
While I congratulate them on their jobs and believe those jobs are important, I’m not telling anyone how to live his or her life. It’s fine with me if they change jobs. It’s a free country. It’s also fine with me if they leave the paid labor market for homemaking.
Being a housewife — or househusband — isn’t synonymous with being a parent. I have a friend who is a househusband to a gay male partner. They have no kids. I’ve read that housewives without children are making a resurgence.