After I had baby #3, it wasn’t so easy to announce I was going to have another baby. One, two, three babies are socially acceptable. People don’t bat an eyelash at three children. Venturing out into the world of four or more children–well, that’s where it gets tricky. You might as well announce you are getting ready to birth an alien with five eyeballs and two heads.

Right out of the gate, just announcing the fact that you are expecting again used to keep me up at night. I didn’t want to face people’s judgment and criticism. I didn’t want it to cloud the happiness that my husband and I felt at the idea of another child to fill up our home and our hearts.

“Can you afford another baby?”
“How will you be able to juggle another baby when the rest of your children are so young?”
“What about your health?”
“Do you really think this is a good time?”
“So soon?”
“Aren’t you on birth control?”

I mean, the list of “friendly concern” from friends and family who “meant well” went on and on….

Perhaps my idea of keeping the pregnancy a secret from everyone failed. But my motives were clear: I know you love me and my family, but keep your comments, your lectures and your advice to yourself.

In my humble opinion, the only thing a person should say to a pregnant woman is, congratulations.

~ Denise Cortes, BabyCenter’s Momformation Blog, February 15

[Photo of Cortes and her children via]

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