Pro-choicer enraged at pro-lifers after contraception fails
by Kelli
I’m pregnant. I just found out. I’m having an abortion on Saturday at 10 a.m….
I don’t want to have an abortion, which is why I got an IUD — to give myself a 99 percent chance of not having to consider the procedure for a decade, or ever. (Clearly the IUD failed, so I guess I’m the 1 percent.) What I definitely, definitely don’t want, immeasurably more than I don’t want to have an abortion, is to be pregnant or have a child.
So I’m not going to. At least, not right now….
Despite all the support I’ve received, I have walked around furious for the past week at the thought of those anonymous people who would tell me I’m wrong not to stay pregnant. I’ve tried to analyze my rage in an effort to cope with it, and I’m sure it has something to do with my ardent conviction that women deserve the right to choose what happens to their bodies. Usually, my rage compels me toward something productive. But I don’t have time for that at the moment, because I’m having an abortion on Saturday at 10 a.m.
So being angry hasn’t done much for me this week. I’m still pregnant and don’t want to be. My IUD still doesn’t work and needs to be removed from my uterus, and I still don’t know what my next form of birth control will be, or if I’ll ever feel comfortable trusting any contraceptive again. I hope this experience will make me a better activist, but I can’t foresee if it will just yet.
Right now I don’t feel like an activist at all, just a woman who’s having an abortion. I’m a woman fortunate enough to have so much love and support I don’t know how to process it all. That’s rare and special, but still it feels like no one can help me much at the moment. This weekend the people who love me will sit in the waiting room while I walk into my abortion by myself. I don’t know what comes next, how or if this will change who I am. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. I can’t know that now. It isn’t Saturday yet.
~ Jenny Kutner, Salon, August 1
[Photo via telegraph.co.uk]
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Sad…
She is angry at all the people who will try to help her. She will spend many years, avoiding her own regret. Her child will be dead.
Good for her. Being angry is a perfectly acceptable response to being pregnant if she didn’t want to be. Thankfully she has a choice once the contraception failed her. Continue to fight for a woman’s right to choose!
James Ashby
No she is not angry at the people who will try to help her. She is angry at those who would impede her and want her to conform to their beliefs. Nor will she spend many years avoiding her own regret, she will be glad, not regretful.
Am I supposed to feel like the author is a victim because her contraception failed and/ or because she wants to have an abortion without opposition or regret and doesn’t know if that will happen?
Having sex can lead to pregnancy. But anyone who is in charge of their reproductive life knows that. Abortion is her backup plan, one she hoped she’d never encounter.
None of her choices had to happen- they were her choices. Her rage is against nature, and against anyone who doesn’t validate her legal but horrible choice.
Well she apparently has not spoken to anyone who would oppose her choice. She keeps talking about how all she is getting is love and support. So apparently, it is not the Pro-Life crowd that is making her angry.
“it feels like no one can help me much at the moment” – Jenny, that is because you have yet to accept the love and mercy that is waiting for you if only you would ask the right people (person)
Two things will be true whether she regrets her abortion or not.
Her child will die on Saturday at 10am.
She will always be her child’s mother.
She’s not walking into the abortuary alone, but she may walk away being alone, if she goes through with it. When she is older she will be even more alone.
Sounds like her anger is really toward the failed IUD and her choice of sex with someone she really did not want a baby with. Like most people who have been conned, they are angry at most every. one. else. and not their own part. See reactions to people like Bernie Madoff.
One is pregnant for 9 months and life goes on. It is not the end of the world. The baby might help you to remember to not trust any birth control again.
Self control not birth control equals control of your present and future. It saves money, time, and personal health. Stay home and wash your hair instead putting yourself into the way of temptation. Just think of all the time doctors spend pushing BC, doing abortions, treating STD/STI/HIV/AIDs etc. that could go towards real health problems not to mention the money involved. What a better world this would be! Please do NOT use rape, incest, sex with underage and/or mentally challenged persons or those who have not completed all the stages of cognitive development of the intellect. Defining the problem is half of the solution. Abortion is only an answer to those who do the sex with those persons and those like PP who make money from it.
As of Feb.2, 2013 the CDC says there were 55 million abortions and 110 million prevalent STIs. “CDC’s analyses included (only) EIGHT common STIs: chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B virus (HBV), herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2), human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), human papillomavirus (HPV), syphilis, and trichomoniasis.” http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats/sti-estimates-fact-sheet-feb-2013.pdf
Every anti abortion person has their own style. Some stand and pray only. Some pray the rosary only. Some of us have graphic signs. You hear a lot about going to these ppl with love and kindness. It doesnt work for everyone. Some of them need tough love and the truth. Ive been screamed at by pro choicers and worse. I will NOT tolerate disrespect. I will not and I do not! Youre havin a bad day? Well so am I my husband and father are dead my moms in a nursing home and my daughter has cancer. Idk it works for me. Once they find out MY pro life game isnt played like that they generally simmer down and listen
And yet if they still choose abortion thats on them.
“Her child will die on Saturday at 10am.”
Ugh, this statement made me shutter. Sometimes I get so caught up in lofty arguments with pro-choicers(economics, politics, foster care, bodily autonomy, blah blah blah), I almost forget that this whole thing is about real children who are really dying. God help her poor child.
Five steps back: Why did this woman write this article? Why did SALON publish it?
Is this part of the pro-bort push to find women who will tell positive, believable stories about their abortions?
She hasn’t had her abortion yet. Will she write about her experience and the aftermath of it?
I see Jake has decided to join us in the comment box again. Welcome back, Jake/James Ashby.
“I’ve tried to analyze my rage in an effort to cope with it, and I’m sure it has something to do with my ardent conviction that women deserve the right to choose what happens to their bodies.”
Would that she have such ardent conviction to refrain from what was, is and always will be God’s design to create life.
Del: She hasn’t had her abortion yet. Will she write about her experience and the aftermath of it?
Good question.
Would be nice to see what women say as time goes on.
“Welcome back, Jake/James Ashby.”
I see I get to recycle a comment today. Silly troll, how are we supposed to take somebody seriously when they can’t even figure out their own name?
What was the sequel to the movie “Chinatown”?
Answer – “The Two Jakes.”
Although, ‘James Ashby’ doesn’t seem like the kind of a name that would be used by somebody posing as more than one person. But maybe that’s why it was chosen….”
James, tell us what the deal is.
Doug – it’s the same person.
Changing a moniker is fine – just let us know. However, commenting under two different monikers is not.
a brilliant piece demonstrating the contraceptive mentality and why abortion is the child of contraception.
If you absolutely do not want to get pregnant there is only one way to ensure that – do not have sex. Period.
Yeah Del could be a made up piece to get points for the borts. I was always under the impression that an IUD aborted a pregnancy or the pregnancy usually terminated along with the removal of the IUD. Also I thought back in the day if a woman found out she was early in an unwanted pregnancy that an IUD could be inserted to abort it. ??????
I have a beautiful two year old girl that was a broken condom,birth control morning after pill fail. I didn’t abort her or any of my three kids.later I learned more about the morning after pill and felt guilty because I am pro life. Education is key.and I think she was supposed to join our little family.her father and I didn’t know each other well and both made the decision to have sex we used protection and I was on the pill.the condom broke so we went to our pharmacy to ask what they thought because I had not been I the pill a full month, they gave us the morning after pill. Needless to say she is still here.the father wanted me to have an abortion I said no.he left.
“She will always be her child’s mother.” – until she does choose to have a child she will say “no, I am not a mother.”
She may say, “I am not a mother.”
The reality remains that she is the mother of a dead child.
nikki — I can’t click the “like” button as many times as I want to!
I wish I could understand why people tell the world their business, then p%## and moan about people trying to dictate to them about what they should do.
Lady if you don’t want negative input, then don’t tell millions of complete strangers your business.
No Del, the reality is she is not a mother. That’s your little world. She may have been pregnant but she is not a mother. My ex-wife would think that anyone was a total, raging loon if they tried to tell her she is a mother of two because she had a stillbirth. All the women I know would think the same way.
How about anti-choicers not telling tens of millions of complete strangers what their business should be.
Kel: Doug – it’s the same person. Changing a moniker is fine – just let us know. However, commenting under two different monikers is not.
Yeah, Kel, I have no doubt, although I am assuming you are looking at ip addresses, and it’s not impossible that more than one person shows as having the same ip address.
I’ve seen it happen (more and more) in this increasingly-mobile age, one person drops their connection, and somebody else on the same network, like Verizon or ATT, gets connected and poof, they have the ip address the first person did.
Or, somebody is stealing somebody else’s wifi, and thus they have the same ip… :P Very far-fetched that they’d both be posting on the same blog, though.
Reality,
Point is if you don’t want the world to comment on your business, then don’t tell them.
If you choose to tell millions of strangers your business, then spare us the “victimhood” routine.
If you choose to tell millions of strangers your business, then spare us the “victimhood” routine.
Mary, this is like that “Created Equal” thing…. ;)
Doug,
Only in your imagination Doug. :)
:: laughing… ::
I gotta get Mr. Peters into one of those Charlie Brown shirts.
A stillbirth??? I’ve had friends who had miscarriages and stillbirths and they do consider themselves the mother of those children. I have a friend who lost her 2 year old earlier this year. Does she cease to be his mother because he died?
THe child exists in the womb, Reality. I know you try to pretend the baby magically appears in the birth canal during labor when the woman signs on the “x” that she indeed wants this baby. But in your little world, Reality, children are like cabbage patch kids. They’re plucked up by a stork and delivered with papers. In REAL life Reality, sperm meets egg and a new person is formed. And that child grows and changes every minute like all children do. That child grows and changes before birth and grows and changes after birth. And the mother is the mother of that child FOREVER. Even moms who place their babies for adoption are called “birth MOMS”–and adoption is a situation where the mother is saying “I do not want to be a mom” yet biologically she IS the mom of that child and will always be the mom of that child. Emotions don’t change that fact.
My sons didn’t become my sons after I pushed them out of my body. They were always my sons from the moment they were conceived deep within my body. For several weeks after their lives began I didn’t even know they existed but that didn’t change the FACT that they were there, alive and by nature of my biological and familial relationship with them–my children.
If you only hang around with like-minded people that’s what you’ll get. Even the theist women I’ve spoken to don’t consider themselves mothers unless they have an actual child.
A fetus exists in the womb. I’m not the one who pretends there’s any magic. I trust you are aware of the significant physiological changes which occur at birth.
Cabbage patch kids? I’m not the one with the fixation. Storks? Really? How twee.
“sperm meets egg and a new person is formed” – excuse the pun but you’re overegging the pudding.
Why does the word ‘fetus’ exist?
Those who place babies for adoption are called ‘birth mothers’ because there is an actual child in existence.
If you are going to be consistent with this emotive little hypothesis then you’ll need to refer to every sexually mature woman as a mother because who knows if they’ve had a conception which failed, including them.
Jake is my nickname, don’t know why people have called me jake instead of Jim. Real name James. Not really a mystery, wasn’t trying to throw you all off.
Im with Sydney. I bonded with my kids in utero. Couldnt see them couldnt feel them but loved them from the moment the pregnancy test turned into 2 pink lines before my eyes.
Why in these abortion narratives is the father never mentioned? Just wondering.
Reality says:
“Even the theist women I’ve spoken to don’t consider themselves mothers unless they have an actual child…I trust you are aware of the significant physiological changes which occur at birth.”
Wow, this is very close. Reality is ALMOST to the point of committing to a view of when life begins. Not the scientific view of at conception, but a specific view nonetheless.
This is quite dangerous territory. Reality may have to engage yet again in a game of change-the-topic, or move-the-goalposts.
The question of when life begins always quickly degrades into the realm of ridiculousness as soon as any of these above-my-paygraders takes a stab at it.
Popcorn.
Just for warm-up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcB2k3EoZ9c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0n81xCL9ic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfLcldRH4Y8
Reality, why would a woman have a totally different relationship with her baby just because he or she is in a different location?
You seem confused TLD, pity.
All relationships have at least some element of emotion to them Courtnay. Beliefs etc. can also come into play. For many anti-choicers the fetus is more important than anything else. A woman with an unwanted pregnancy isn’t going to form a bond like those who have your approach would. Other people do not think and feel the same way about things as you, nor should they be required to.
Location in this instance bears vast significance.
A family friend, whom I’m pretty sure is pro-choice, lost a baby boy (whom she named Michael) to premature labor & birth. I don’t think one’s political views dictate ones view of the developing human so much as ones personal experience & moral views. & in that same vein one’s political views are formed by one’s life experiences & morals.
Wrong, Reality. Wrong times infinity. The preborn aren’t more important; they’re just AS important. Feelings should never dictate whether one gets to live or die, just as their stage of development shouldn’t either. There is no other stage of human life where feelings get to decide one’s ability to kill another. Rights based on feelings is just plain idiotic….. oh, wait.
If you think that a woman should not have an abortion under any circumstances then you are placing priority on the fetus. You do not consider the implications for and impacts on the woman.
There is no other stage of human life where feelings get to decide one’s ability to kill another. Rights based on feelings is just plain idiotic….. oh, wait, Rick Perry.
A fetus is not a person.
The only way pro-aborts know how to argue is to change the topic. They know, that they can’t argue with the reality of what, they are seeing – a little pefectly-formed person with tiny hands and feet, eyebrows, eyelashes, and fingernails, who is being destroyed simply for the sake of convenience. They can’t argue with this reality, and thus, they name the child an awful euphemism – fetus – which in reality is just Latin for young offspring, but doesn’t have the sweet and endearing sound of “baby”, which we all know that it is. Let’s just speak the same language: abortion is the violent, premature, and willful destruction of a young child for the sake of convenience. Now, let’s just discuss that statement – because that’s what it’s all about. A child is a child – not a choice. We have a choice about what to eat for dinner tonight; we do not have the right to kill another person unless in self-defense.
“a little pefectly-formed person with tiny hands and feet, eyebrows, eyelashes, and fingernails” – well that’s not accurate for a start.
The word ‘fetus’ is a euphemism now is it? That’s odd. And what about the word ‘baby’, are you aware of the breadth of age groups the term gets applied to?
A woman is a woman, a woman has priority over a developing fetus.
A fetus is not a person.
Julie: The only way pro-aborts know how to argue is to change the topic. They know, that they can’t argue with the reality of what, they are seeing – a little pefectly-formed person….
Right there you misstated things, Julie. Regardless of how you feel about the unborn, it is the fact that we do not attribute full personhood prior to birth that has you dissatisfied with things.
Forget the whole personhood trap. That’s where the abortion lovers try to trap us. Again, wrong times infinity. A human life is a human life. Once we start saying one kind is more valuable than another because they have more might would be, well, monstrous. And this is what Reality and his death loving ilk cannot escape. You can say a fetus is younger or less developed or located differently; but what you can never say is that they are human. Own it, abortion lovers.That’s what you’re defending: the bullying of the strong over the weak that necessarily ends in death of the weak.
It’s not a trap, it’s the reality.
“A human life is a human life”….except in so many different ways and circumstances.
“Once we start saying one kind is more valuable than another” – which is what you are doing.
“would be, well, monstrous.” – yep, just ask Rick Perry, he’ll tell you.
“And this is what Reality and his death loving ilk cannot escape” – there’s nothing to ‘escape’, it’s more about your denial.
“You can say a fetus is younger or less developed or located differently; but what you can never say is that they are human.” – I’ve repeatedly said such.
“Own it, abortion lovers. That’s what you’re defending: the bullying of the strong over the weak that necessarily ends in death of the weak.” – rubbish. You bully women in favor of fetuses.
The human life of an existing woman is more important than the human life of a gestating fetus of unknown potential.
The primal urge for sex without restraint is more important to her then not getting pregnant and more powerful then her conscience or any maternal drive to nurture children. That sums up the pro-choice to kill the unborn crowd.
Let all human life live.
Be consistent.
Don’t qualify it.
I’ve been pregnant 4 times, and I just helped my mom die this past May. All humans with beating human hearts and human DNA should be afforded the same dignity.
Very sorry about your loss, Courtnay.
Thanks, Navi. It was a privilege.
People, wake up: Reality is correct. The fetus magically transforms into a human being just when it becomes loved.
This is fully, scientifically documented in the widely recognized embryology text, “The Velveteen Rabbit.”
“Right now I don’t feel like an activist at all, just a woman who’s having an abortion”
Now she knows what she was fighting for thoroughly, no B.S., and she hates it.
I am glad this story demonstrates how those I.U.D.s not only don’t work, and gave her false sense of security, but I wish it was even more abrupt on how it not only put her in the abortion-at-risk category, but how her body has also been used as a depository for another persons body fluid, as well as a personal plaything for that person whom was never mentioned in the article probably for the sole reason that, as a male, he’s “not responsible,” and therefore by such a line, completely and in totally, unaffected by any of this. Some dudes actually would even laugh at her, others, even worse, would get off on reading this story.
I hate that this man is not included in this story. He’s so outside of this woman’s orbit that her pro-abortion mentality tells her she must pretend he has no influence. In order for her to believe this, she is compelled to convince others that it is anyone BUT her mans job to love her. It was her birth control’s job to love her. To love her means helping her use herself in way that alienates her from true love.
EXACTLY the OPPOSITE of GODS PLAN for her, and why He’s already messaging her to empathize, side-by-side, with the women she so much wanted to protect in the same way. Only now instead of pretenses she is dealing with stone-cold reality. For better or for worse she now has a much better understanding of the reality of abortion, and is one step closer to understanding that protecting women means ending abortion, and if we want to end that exploitation: Ending Abortion Begins with Me.
James Ashby: Jake is my nickname, don’t know why people have called me jake instead of Jim. Real name James. Not really a mystery, wasn’t trying to throw you all off.
I knew it! Just did not seem like a made-up name to be a ‘stalking horse,’ etc.