S.E. Cupp: Modern feminism “obsessed with sex”
The modern liberal feminist psyche has become so obsessed with sex, how the act itself and the consequences of it will be funded and celebrated, that contraception and abortion are seemingly feminism’s only urgent interests anymore.
Like a Freudian fixation, sex is all they see. It is in everything.
Outside of sex… the other political projects feminists concern themselves with these days seem either ill-conceived, redundant or grasping at relevance in a world that, let’s face it, is much closer to egalitarian than many young women care to admit….
The problem with today’s version of feminism (other than looking like chicanery and cheap titillation) is that it has forgotten its original goals and stubbornly fails to acknowledge the considerable achievements already made.
As Joe Klein put it in Time on Monday, “Women are moving beyond equality now toward dominance as more of them graduate from college than men.”
So when Sandra Fluke spoke of supposed efforts to silence and victimize women, it sounded so sclerotic and reductive that even some on the left questioned the message. Kirsten Powers, a Democratic strategist, tweeted, “I hope that any young girl who saw that Fluke speech has someone to tell her it’s a lie: Women are powerful and have freedom of speech.”
If feminism in America is to be taken seriously again, it needs nuanced, serious messengers who recognize what century they’re in — and can get their minds out of the gutter.
~ Conservative political writer S.E. Cupp, New York Daily News, September 12
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
The fact that so many females take contraceptives and have abortions show that RADICAL feminism has completely FAILED. Much of it was anti-male and anti-intimacy with men. Women who stay away from men in their intimate lives aren’t usually the ones getting pregnant or worrying about it.
That was refreshing to hear – speaking truth to power never gets old.
Ms. Cupp is quite the courageous woman.
Feminism must widen itself to include ALL women, BEGINNING with the gestating women.
To paraphrase Dennis Miller, how can we fight Libya and Muslim extremists? We’re too busy fighting the “War on Women.” And if you think about it, he’s right-we as a country are waging a war on the unborn ones.
Feminism has been INEFFECTIVE. As I’ve pointed out before, one of the best ways to decrease problem pregnancies is to rigorously enforce the statutory rape laws that have been on the books for a very long time. I’ve read that the MAJORITY of pregnant teen girls were impregnated by adult men who were committing crimes against them. These girls have parents, siblings, friends, acquaintances, and many others around them Just enforce the laws against statutory rape and problem pregnancies will decrease along with sexual exploitation.
It’s interesting that this obsession with sex and the desire to be more like males has not made these feminists happy. Instead, they are increasingly dysfunctional in all aspects of their lives.
With all this extreme feminism shoved in our faces every day is it any wonder there seems to be more gay men around than ever before ? (snark)
Feminists try to be men, but they don’t even choose the good, respectable men to emulate. In a race to the bottom, they try to be like the pathetic, selfish, genital-obsessed men.
The current group of feminists appear to have identified pornographers as the defacto representatives of masculinism. As a result it seems that the current feminist movement is in race with pornographers to the moral bottom. It appears that the reasoning goes as follows: if men can treat women like scum, women should treat men like scum. Current feminism appears to believe that the last form of the “patriarchy” exists in the sexual relations between men and women. It is truly a sad and cynical way of looking at male-female relationships.
Mike says September 13, 2012 at 12:02 pm “With all this extreme feminism shoved in our faces every day is it any wonder there seems to be more gay men around than ever before?”
You may be confusing ’cause’ with ‘effect’.
I wouldn’t say there are more gay men around, just more wimpy, ineffectual metrosexual types.
Feminism went from “I am Woman - hear me roar!” to “I am woman - hear me whine!”
S.E. Cupp is my second favorite secular female commentator. ;)
This is so refreshing to hear!
I think that “equality” has come to mean something entirely different than today than when feminism started. Absolutely every human is created equal, all deserving the same basic human rights (life, liberty, property, etc.) regardless of gender, race, viability, age, etc. Women should absolutely have the same legal status as men. For instance, punishment for murdering a woman or a black person should be the same as murdering a white man because all life is precious, no matter the gender, age, or race of the person. But it wasn’t always that way.
But modern feminism fails to see that equal rights does not mean everyone has to be the same in every way. They leave no room for everyone being true to their natures – women don’t have to be “like men” to enjoy the same rights and to enjoy equality.
They’ve ceased to focus on giving women an equal shot at life and instead have reduced women to their reproductive organs. In essence, modern feminism has taken us so far backwards. We live in an era where “feminists” are running around wearing vagina costumes, demanding the public pay for their pleasure, obsessing over their “reproductive freedoms” despite the fact that they are, in fact, free to reproduce with whomever they want – and I can guarantee that this immature, base, vulgar behavior is not what the women who originally advocated women’s rights had in mind. For haven’t men been reducing women to their sexual organs and reproductive capacity for centuries before?
No, the real feminists are those who, like S.E. Cupp, Michelle Malkin, Lila Rose, Jill Stanek, et. al., don’t call attention to the fact that they are women, but instead quietly assert themselves and impact the world as people because they are confident in their worth as human beings and don’t need to be defined by their reproductive organs.
Its not feminism nor sex. It is maintaining the right to female bodily autonomy and equal pay for equal work. Women and men will never be considered different but equal until religion and the imaginary sky daddy get out of the way. I am a middle aged woman who is highly educated and has a successful career…..and I love kids and men…..which many people believe is not possible when a woman is in a position of leadership, is financially independent and has chosen to not have kids. We, women-for-equal-rights, do NOT hate men or kids. I think males are just scared because more and more women are in the position of not needing a man….want one? -yes….need one? -no.
Hey KD, First, what do you mean “female bodily autonomy?” Because last I checked, you are legally allowed to do anything to your body you want – including sex change surgery. So …. yay. That fight’s won. And euqal pay for equal work. Hm. Cause last I checked, I make double what my husband does at the moment. And there are plenty of women who make more than men.
No one said that feminists hate kids and men. They just don’t appear to respect them very much. I’m all for equal rights too for women – including unborn females. How do you feel about them, hm? Newsflash – women *do* have equal rights. Get with the times. This isn’t the 1800s anymore.
PS Christians and religions (at least in the US) aren’t trying to imposed on you, so why take it out on them? they’re not taking away your rights.
KD, we’ve come a long way, baby. Are you aware that in some middle eastern countries (looking at you, Saudi Arabia) women aren’t even allowed to drive?! So really, we have it good here in the US of A. What rights are being trampled?
Oh and another thought on that equal pay business. That should be an economy issue, not a legal one. For a “middle-aged, educated woman” you seem a little confused….
What makes humans distinctive is our MINDs. Emphasize what is between the ears rather than what is between the legs!
Running around dressed as female genitalia just plays into the negative tradition of men reducing women to sex. Let’s expand everyone by looking at each other as minds.
If radical feminism had succeeded in its goal of leading women to hate and fear men, we would definitely not have more than 1 million abortions a year in the US. Abortions would nosedive because so many women would refuse intimate relations with men. Rad fems warn against relations with men as oppressive. Were their heedings taken to heart by many women, female celibacy would sweep the nation.
Henry Kissinger and Gerald Ford had it right: “No one can win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.”
The radical feminists have utterly failed to stop that fraternizing. That’s a main reason there are so many abortions.
Now there is a real woman. The liberal feminista’s won’t like her cause she can control her sex drive and buy her own BC if she wants it. The liberal men won’t like her cause she won’t play slutty for them. But I love her.
truthseeker says:
September 13, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Now there is a real woman. The liberal feminista’s won’t like her cause she can control her sex drive and buy her own BC if she wants it. The liberal men won’t like her cause she won’t play slutty for them.
(Denise) This is exactly where feminism has failed. Women continue to crave men’s company, attention, and affection. If they didn’t, they would avoid men or at least intimacy with men. If feminists successfully led women to avoid men, the unplanned pregnancy rate would dramatically decrease.
I think males are just scared because more and more women are in the position of not needing a man….want one? -yes….need one? -no.
What about we women that want babies? We still need men to help us with that. Maybe we should do the same thing to the men we don’t want or need that we do to the unborn children that we don’t want or need.
Be careful what you wish for, dear Highly Educated Leader. I guarantee that they are better hunters.
Haha Prax! that was hilariously funny.
If the only women who had sex with men were women who wanted to get pregnant, the radical feminists would have succeeded in their goals of alienating women from men — and the abortion rate would PLUMMET.
As a recently college graduated, currently employed female engineer: modern feminism has thrown me for a loop. While in school, I simply did not and now still do not understand “radical/modern” feminists. Modern feminists seem to believe that the best way for a woman to be equal to a man is for the woman to become a faux-man! Radical feminists insist that a woman should be defined in terms of “strong” male characteristics: violent aggressiveness, dominance, sex-drive and lewdness.
Except, these are not the best characteristics that can be found in a decent man! If radical feminists want to prove their power by being equal with/like a man, why not pick better characteristics to emulate? Like responsibility, courage, loyal friendship, and protectiveness?
Modern feminists, especially pro-choice feminists, take the power AWAY from women when they encourage abortion. Why? Because pregnancy is something ONLY women can intimately experience. And quite frankly, women do not need the band-aid of abortion to “fix” their experience of woman-ness in pregnancy. Frankly, women are STRONG. A modern feminist would say, “Get an abortion, fix your fetus problem because it would be too DIFFICULT for you to care for your baby.”
The truth? Women are strong, caring, loyal, loving, and courageous. And we do not need abortion to prove that. We need men who will be responsible husbands and fathers, and we need women to love being what they naturally are: WOMEN!! Ladies, care for yourselves, and do not let radical feminists say you have to be a faux-man in order to succeed.
I am PRO-WOMAN. I am PRO-LIFE.
They are the same thing.
Tyler: “Current feminism appears to believe that the last form of the “patriarchy” exists in the sexual relations between men and women.”
I actually agree that this is the case. Just not in the way that most feminists assert. All one has to do is look at the “hook-up culture” or the titles of porn movies to see that it is still acceptable to disrespect women in the most heinous of ways – as long as sex is involved.
I think males are just scared because more and more women are in the position of not needing a man….want one? -yes….need one? -no.
The above statement is one that even I made too when I was in college. When I was stubborn and willful. Now, I’ve come to realize that there is no shame in needing other people. We’re a cooperative species. We have a word for hermit and hermits are considered highly rare and unusual. We work well together, we enjoy companionship. Many men may not seem as emotionally motivated as many women, but we do need each other. I need my man, not just to open jars and mow the lawn. I need a hug at the end of a hard day, and as much as I love my pets, it just ain’t the same as human contact.
Mods, don’t know why my 8:03 comment is waiting moderation; it has no links.
But I want to add to it:
There’s a reason that solitary confinement is considered a terrible punishment.
I used to have a cute little Beta fish. Sometimes I’d be gone for a day and come back expecting him to be starving. I’d drop the food in his bowl and he’d ignore it for a while and look right at me. He’d keep facing me, looking, looking, and I’d gently touch my finger to the glass and talk to him. Then he’d eat. That little Beta was more human than some feminists. He desired companionship just a little more than a meal.
Dolce, interesting point. But, unfortunately, that point of view is really insulting to the idea of manhood and masculinity. It means that we should equate “patriarchy” with the vile and objectifying treatment of women. Personally, I think that is bad use of the word “patriarchy.” “Patriarchy” ideally should be reserved for those moments a person needs to describe men acting in a fatherly and loving way, and not for when men act in a horny adoloscent manner. Just my opinion.
Thank you for reminding me how far the female population has come. :)
Really, I was getting depressed from some corners of the Internet. I’m just trying to teach myself how to build computer games for a hobby, but forums about the video game industry are flooded with arguments about sexism/feminism, e.g. why anyone could possibly be annoyed at the latest mainstream combat game where the most advertised feature is enhanced breast shaking. I want to take refuge in a good ol’ fashioned equal rights movement, but when modern feminism is dominated by the same free-love-no-matter-who-gets-hurt stuff that generates those kinds of problems, I feel like I have nowhere to turn. “With friends like these…”
Maybe “equality” was never a worthy goal. I’d rather be a role model to those who think the world owes them everything than be dragged down to their level.
Tyler: ““Patriarchy” ideally should be reserved for those moments a person needs to describe men acting in a fatherly and loving way, and not for when men act in a horny adoloscent manner. ”
I think I agree with you to a certain extent, but only because you are NOT using the widely-understood meaning of patriarchy. Good luck trying to convince everyone around you to reject the negative connotations and meanings that “patriarchy” has developed throughout the years! :P
i.e.: Patriarchy: A system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.
This describes porn and a significant (though perhaps not dominant) portion of the hook-up culture to a tee. Porn is about subjugating and degrading women and convincing the viewers that women “want” this stuff because it “pleases” the man. Even when looking at sex in our culture from a woman’s POV you can see this. Read Cosmo or any “women’s health” magazine and most of it is filled with losing weight / “how to look sexy for him”, “how to keep a man!”, “sex moves that will blow his mind!” – type of articles. Sex is predominantly about the man – what he wants and how to look sexy for him. Somehow society has become convinced that this is how women can be fulfilled and feel powerful. I think it fits the current understanding of the word patriarchy quite well. You can’t just say: “Well that’s not what patriarchy is SUPPOSED to be about” because the word is NOT currently understood as what “manhood” and “masculinity” or “fatherhood” in their best forms are about (I think a better word here would perhaps be chivalry), so don’t worry, I wasn’t trying to be insulting towards men! Obvs there is NOTHING manly about society’s current understanding of what sex is about!
Anyway, this is largely a question of semantics. I just wanted to make the point that in the realm of sexuality as a product to be sold to the masses, women are still horribly abused. It’s an issue that not enough people, especially feminists, care to think about!
ninek says:
September 13, 2012 at 8:10 pm
Mods, don’t know why my 8:03 comment is waiting moderation; it has no links.
But I want to add to it:
There’s a reason that solitary confinement is considered a terrible punishment.
I used to have a cute little Beta fish. Sometimes I’d be gone for a day and come back expecting him to be starving. I’d drop the food in his bowl and he’d ignore it for a while and look right at me. He’d keep facing me, looking, looking, and I’d gently touch my finger to the glass and talk to him. Then he’d eat. That little Beta was more human than some feminists. He desired companionship just a little more than a meal.
(Denise) Most women have a strong meed for male companionship. Feminism had FAILED to lead women to think they should live without boyfriends or husbands. Men still usually want their romantic or marital partner to engage in sex. Of course, so do many women but it remains most likely that it is the man who makes this a condition for continuing the relationship or marriage.
This is one reason why women who don’t want to get pregnant nevertheless get pregnant. If the rad fems had been successful, many more women would be celibate. Women would feel perfectly fine without men in their lives and would not get pregnant unless they wanted babies.
You know, Dolce, maybe a huge part of that is because women are lied to and told that all men are is essentially giant sex organs with pesky, stupid, slow bodies attached. That if you’re not sexy and hot (by some impossible, arbitrary standard), your man’s going to go chasing after other sexier, younger women. And then, because women expect nothing better, many men do behave that way. And it’s this vicious cycle of women prostrating themselves before men in all kinds of degrading ways to “please” and “keep” them.
But you know what? All men aren’t like that. Many want to honor their wives, many also think about other things besides sex, many of them are more honorable than we give them credit for.
But instead of encouraging the best in men, feminism looks at the worst of the male species, says they are all like them, and then proceeds to emulate the worst characteristics.
Dolce, I agree pornography is bad. You explained this very well.
But I think the word ”patriarchy” is overused and misapplied. Applying the word patriarchy to prnography demeans the word patriarchy. Although I will grant you the definition you have ascribe to “patriarchy”: i.e.: Patriarchy: A system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it, I think it forgets that just because men hold the “power” doesn’t necessarily mean that is bad. For example, people have called the Catholic Church patriarchal, which in one sense it is, but to only describe as patriarchal in this narrow sense loses what the Church thinks about itself and the role of the patriarchal structure within the Church. Briefly, the role of the patriarchal structure in the Church (the heirarchy) is meant to be the role of servant and loving. So, in my opinion, the narrow definition of this word loses some of the compassionate elements contained in the meaning of the word. Not only the Church heirarchy is patriarchal, but many Kingdoms and empires have been patriarchal – not all of them were bad or detrimental to women. Similarly, when a queen has ruled, in effect – a matriarchy – that does not necessarily mean the political structure was bad for men. We need to be more specific.
I agree my point was about semantics to a certain extent, but semantics can and do matter. Patriarchy is such a broad sweeping term it catches all men in its net, so if we don’t qualify or specify what we mean exactly then the radical feminists are going to feel empowered because they will assume that more women and men agree with their generalizations than those that actually do agree with their point of view.
I agree completely with your assessment of society’s current depiction of sex via pornography. But as you pointed out, women, as much as men, are guilty of objectifying men and contributing to this perverted view of sexual relations.
I often wonder why women go along with this view of sex? Would you happen to know why women buy magazines like Cosmo and help promote this view of sex?
I agree with Libertybelle’s insight. There seems to be an implicit degrading of men as well as women in the pornographer’s view of sex. Pornography is something that should be censrored by both men and women. Pornography is too divisive.
“I often wonder why women go along with this view of sex? Would you happen to know why women buy magazines like Cosmo and help promote this view of sex?”
This is a really sensitive topic for me because I interact with men all the time (through my work) and once they get to know you they stop avoiding topics of conversation that most men won’t touch in a woman’s presence! One thing that shocked me is that every man I know watches porn and thinks its totally fine to do so (it’s pro-sex because apparently, porn and sex are the same thing!). The mental hoops they go through to justify objectifying women (and you make an excellent point- often themselves as well) is amazing to me. It is “Cognitive Dissonance” in the best sense of the word, since most of them also describe themselves as feminists!
Why do women go along with porn or buy Cosmo? Partially because of advertizing. Words and images are very powerful, and women are CONSTANTLY bombarded with ways in which they can please the men in their lives. Men are constantly bombarded with these images too, and so you have macro social studies that have been done which demonstrate that many young women and girls are under immense pressure to preform “porn” types of sex or to dress themselves up in the way that porn stars do, regardless of whether they feel comfortable doing so. Guys, because of the influence that porn has had in teaching them about sex (the average age of first viewing porn is 11), expect this from the girls. Its a vicious cycle because porn has permeated our lives in very unexpected ways, and so most people do not notice the influences. Often girls don’t know what to do, so they “go along with it” because they don’t want to seem like a prude. I had a friend who’s boyfriend watched porn, and although she really wanted him to stop, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him to stop because just bringing up the topic would cause him to be insulted (“Stop being anti-sex!! You only think this way because you’re a Christian!”).
But I think the main thing we should not ignore is the effects of porn on the women who perform in the videos. Very few of them make it big and are rolling in money and influence. Many of their careers last something like three years, because their bodies can’t take the stress anymore and they are no long physically able to perform some of the acts that they are expected to. Many women (I don’t remember the exact percentage) display signs of PTSD during and after their careers, even those who have nothing else in their lives which would trigger it. The focus on a decent amount of mainstream porn these days is humiliation and subjugation. For instance, the women are dolled up in tonnes of make up so that once the acts start, you can see her tears (from gagging) more clearly. This is an industry that HORRIBLY abuses women, and a majority of men watch it because they tell themselves that the women “consent” to this abuse. As if that makes it alright. Images such as this are powerful, and people are lying to themselves if they think that (1) the women who are doing these things are physically or mentally alright and (2) that images of violence and sexism used in a titillating manner won’t affect the men who view it in negative ways.
That being said, I agree with LibertyBelle completely – women (and men) are being lied to in order to sell products. But that does NOT mean we should ignore the porn industry, and dismiss those men and women who have suffered because of it. Porn is VERY mainstream now. As I said, the average first time viewing porn is 11, so many boys learn about sex through watching porn! And most men who watch it are NOT crazed-up sex machines, they just think that watching porn is normal! They DON’T consider the implications of their actions, and the women who perform in these videos are INVISIBLE as actual people. Its a very big problem, and the normal everyday girl who is fooled into (sub-consciously) thinking that her man is a crazed-up sex machine who might leave her if she doesn’t give him what he wants is not the one who suffers the most in this equation. The big area where women have no power at all is in the porn industry itself. The effects that trickle into the mainstream can be fought on an individual level (though not quite so successfully on a macro level), but the women who are involved in this industry are very often trapped by circumstances and go through much suffering.
Anyway, my point was that in porn itself, it is perfectly okay to display women as “helpless”, “dirty”, “needing taming”, “so young its almost illegal”, and “secretly wanting it” (so rape is glorified). All of this would be absolutely condemned as sexism and rape culture if the images and words were not connected to porn, but because they are, it is seen as perfectly normal, as fun, and sexy! And the women in the videos, who through circumstances (after all, most of them are poor because middle class women often do not decide to become porn stars) are abused in this way and it’s “ok” because they “consent”. It’s NOT ok, and we should be fighting this view of sexuality, as well as the industry that treats women this way, because most people think it is just harmless fun.
It drives me crazy that mainstream feminism accepts porn as “empowering”, throwing many of her fellow women under the bus all in the name of sexual liberty. I could rant about it forever (I’m sure you can tell!). I think this is one area where feminism has very obviously failed, and her current obsession with abortion rights and free birth control are fellow symptoms of this failure.
That being said, patriarchy in the sense in which my Church is a patriarchy (or in the political sense of the word), is obviously NOT what I was referring to. Tyler is absolutely right, I should be a bit more careful with my words :) Though I still maintain that patriarchy also does not refer to a man acting in a fatherly manner :P
Dolce, excellent post. If I may, I would suggest you start telling people that porn is not sex, it is people actiing out sex. Don’t even say they are performing sex, because that adds a level of realism that is not there. The whole thing is contrived and needs to be exposed as such. Thinking “professional” wrestiling. In a weird way calling them “professional” sex workers emphasizes the unreality of it all. We can keep our humility and respect for true sexuality by humbly acknowledging that prn stars are the “professionals” and we are not.
Men or women should never equate pornography with sexual liberty. Grab a button, and say that you are proud to be a prude when it comes to pornography and that type of fictional sexual activity.
I appreciate you acknowledging that your Church is not patriarchal in the sense that radical feminists have come to use the word. That is the reason I think we need a new word for the peverted version of masculinity that is on display in most forms of pornography. Some feminists will call pornography patriarchal and the Church patriarchal. Clearly they represent two different manners in being men, and it is deceiving to call both them patriarchal. The fact that the male heirarchy is celibate emphasizes this difference.
Pronogrpahy, as you imply, is really anti-feminine and anti-masculine because it does utilize any of the higer functions of the female or male involved. It ia animalistic.
Theresa, try to live up to your name. There are many great Saints that you are named after. St. Teresa of Avila, St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, Blessed Mother Teresa, and the Little Flower of Jesus St. Therese of Lisieux. Try reading the autobiography of St. Therese. It is short, beautifully written, and will change your mind about christers and the elegant call to celibacy.
Joseph, yes you too have a holy name – the foster father of Jesus, our Lord. You have a great name. He cared for a son who was not his own, and a wife who became pregnant by God. This man truly understood how to put the needs of others before his own. He traveled to Bethelem to protect them and shelter them. He sought of no other women but dedicated his life to the Mother of God. His life provided us with many lessons.
Joseph, you might appreciate reading about the heroic lives of the early saints, who, like you, liked the desert. In the desert they dedicated their lives to an ascetic way of life. Sacrificing their mortal desires so that they could dedicate themselves to a life of prayer in order to give praise to God. Perhaps reading the life of St. Anthony would be good for you.
Dear Joseph,
Think about how many poor children you could feed with the money you use on prostitution.
Oh, and if you have to pay for it, it ain’t love. You deserve to love and be loved and don’t have to use others or allow them to use you to get it. True love is waiting for you but you’re looking in all the wrong places.
Those who talk about sex all the time are those who are not getting it.