What pro-aborts fear most: unplanned pregnancy survivors
But the “what if my mom had an abortion” applies to more people than those whose mothers were raped. It applies to people born in the mixed up days before Roe v. Wade when abortion was legal in some places and not others. It applies to everyone who’s ever been adopted. Of course, it really applies to EVERYONE, but some of us have more cause to dwell on it than others.
And I think the reason that we freak out the pro-choice movement so much is not that we’re woman-hating sex phobes. It’s that we fly in the face of the narrative about how awful life is for unwanted children. We give lie to the claim that a fetus is just a clump of tissue. We offer painfully real evidence of what happens if you don’t have an abortion.
~ Rachael Larimore, Slate’s XX Factor, October 24
[HT: Secular ProLife; photo via familyhealthfashion.com]
I was posting on the slate article yesterday and then they started to block my comments. Typical of pro-abortionists. They can’t stand anyone who speaks the truth and since they have no argument to combat truth they simply block you.
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there has been a lot of talk about rape this week. lets just say that we did support abortion for rape cases. what about the 4000 abortions every day? are they all from rape. in my 42 years of life i have never met a woman who aborted because of rape. never. so are 4000 abortions a day a result of rape? nope just choice.
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The article is great. The comments are ridiculous. I’ve pretty much given up on Slate at this point.
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I am one of those unplanned “clumps of tissue” that survived. I was born in 1967 and my mother was 15 years old. She told me 43 years later that many were pressuring her to get an abortion, but she chose life. I am the mother of 5 children. I went to college. I have a wonderful job, a wonderful husband, and 5 amazing and wonderful children, not in that order. I am happy to be alive and happy my mom sacrificed her own future to allow me to live. My mom never finished high school. She never became the doctor she could have been. She dashed her parents’ dreams and her own. But I’ll bet if you asked my mom if she would have had an abortion 44 years ago, she would say emphatically “NO.” What pro-aborts do not understand is that self-sacrifice is the greatest virtue and greatly worthy of honor and praise. Killing another in order to advance oneself is pitiable at best and heinous at worst. We live in a culture of death because everyone is his or her own “god” and answers only to himself or herself. I speak from the standpoint of a pro-life Catholic, probably quite obviously, but a secular person can surely see that it is wrong to strip away the rights of one unique individual simply to have greater amounts of
so-called freedom and pleasure. Surely secular people can understand, too, the concept of personal choices entailing personal responsibility, and if you make the choice to have sex you must bear the responsibility in the event that a unique individual human life is created. Anyway, I am living proof that despite all odds, despite all inconvenience, despite the options my mother had, she made the very best choice, and one that she will never spend a lifetime regretting. My mother is happy and she can go to her rest one day with a clear conscience, knowing she didn’t kill me when she could have.
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For all you proaborts out there: can you tell me, even anecdotally, one woman who has carried an unplanned pregnancy to term and then has said, years later, I WISH I HAD THAT ABORTION WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE?
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Lisa,
Thank you for telling your story! I am very grateful today that your mother stood strong and that you and your children are HERE because of her selflessness.
This made my day. Thank you!
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Lisa, I love your story! I am glad you are here!!!
Heather, I have had two friends who got pregnant by rape. One got pregnant after a date rape but had her daughter and is healing from the rape. Her daughter is loved by her family and they are helping her raise this child. Its not easy as a single mom but she loves her daughter even if the father was a rapist.
My other friend who I actually grew up with was raped also by an acquaintance when she was high and drunk at a party. She decided immediately to abort. She has battled severe depression, anger, rage issues, eating disorders and infertility. She has not NOT healed from her rape.
Anyone that thinks abortion “solves” rape needs to meet my two friends.
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Ditto that the comments on slate are absurd and vicious, but they of course are evidence in favor of Rachael’s point – that her life story (and resultant prolife opinions) anger people who favor legalized abortion. Reading the comments makes me feel as though it’s not so much religion that divides this debate as much as being a joyful, grateful person who celebrates life, vs not.
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wow sydney. i know it happens but i have just never met a rape victim. not even date rape. however the behavior you sescribe is typical of post abortive mothers i know. if they wont say it out loud then they show it through behavior. drinking swearing smoking drug abuse neediness in relationships.
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@Courtnay, Carla, Sydney, Joanne and anyone else who may come on later and read this and benefit. I am happy and grateful to share my story. I hope that maybe someone will read this and have a change of heart. Maybe even a precious human life can be saved. I had this realization not long ago that if secular pro-aborts were to find evidence of primitive human life on another planet, let’s say an embryonic life form with a microscopic beating heart and a unique DNA, they would celebrate that there was proof of life on another planet!! The evidence for this life on another planet would spread like wildfire all over the scientific journals and other media. Scientists would be scrambling to preserve this new-found life to see what it was and how it would develop. Here on earth there are millions of babies who haven’t been able to see the light of day. They have been destroyed and forgotten. Nobody thought about their humanity, their potential, their rights to live and enjoy happiness and freedom. They were thrown away in garbage pails. Why is it that even non-religious, secular scientists would value a new-found life form on another planet but by and large support the killing of preborn human life on earth? Even more, why is it that so called religious people who claim to believe in God and the miraculous wonder of His creation have gotten on the bandwagon of abortion and reproductive rights? There are vast swathes of Protestant groups that either support the wholesale killing of preborn infants or stand by in silence, refusing to speak out against it. This I can never understand. Thank you all for reading my story. God bless you.
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@ sydney when i was about 32 yrs old i spent an evening drinking with and got the go ahead to crash there. her brothers friend was there and after id nodded off i awoke to the creep on top of me trying to take my clothes off. it very easlily could have happened to me but i was able to fight him off. he was like 22 years old. i am 5 feet 11 so somehow i managed to free myself and diffuse the situation. i grabbed my things and left in the middle of the night.
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We have all met rape victims. It is just whether the person shares this info with us. Through work at a job in the past, I was able to meet a mom and her teen daughter, who was conceived in a rape. This was certainly in the days of ‘abortion on demand.’ Yet, the mom knew abortion would be wrong. Sure, it was unpleasant to have to share the story when circumstances called for it. Sure, this mom suffered the emotional impact of the rape.
But the mom loved (and I guess still loves) her daughter. That was very obvious. And the teen daughter was certainly not trying to kill herself off to erase the “reminder” of the rape.
The “rape” scenario is one of the final threads that the pro-choice camp has to hang on to. The evidence, of these people who have been raped and their children, fly in the face of the pro-choice horror stories. Where is the hope, people?
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I am SOOOO tired of abortion-lovers using rape as an excuse to keep this vile procedure “legal.” My rape was something that took me nearly a decade to get over. Women abort not because of rape, but because of selfishness/fear/cowardice/convenience/misinformation/finances, etc. It’s a smoke screen. The comments on the article are all pro-aborts, who basically say “it’s alive, but it’s not a life” (??? Um, WHAT?!), who say “it’s MY choice and you can’t do anything about it”….The word “me” and “my” is used constantly. They’re angry, defensive, and ignorant, to a frightening degree. They understand NOTHING about the pro-life movement. They understand NOTHING about biology.
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I read about 50 percent of rape victims who become pregnant actually do keep their babies.
I know of a young woman who was being abused by her mother and went to her grandfather for help, and this monster raped her and got her pregnant. Awful! Although she was very young, she kept the baby (the monster was put in jail, thankfully). This was a baby conceived not only by rape, but from incest, the worse case scenario. So many of my coworkers were incensed at this decision. I had to remind them that this was her choice.
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Another thing…..Pro-aborts never ask WHY. They just say “women will always need to have abortion as a choice.” They never, EVER ask WHY women feel the “need” to abort, and how they can help them. They will not look at the truth of abortion, they will do everything in their power to make sure that women will always abort. They get angry when we call them pro-abortion…but that is what they are. They don’t want to help women, they don’t understand what true equality is. They don’t want to know what compels women to seek abortion; they don’t care. Just as long as “choice” is there. They rail against any informative action–because they know that women will most likely reject abortion if they’re actually informed. Abortion is their religion.
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I think THEY are their own religions, and abortion is one of its sacraments.
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“They will not look at the truth of abortion, they will do everything in their power to make sure that women will always abort.”
What are you talking about? Do you think you’re “helping” women by trying to pass legislation that would essentially mandate that nurses pry patients’ eyes open to view the ultrasound screen? That’s not helpful, MaryLee. That’s intimidation. Look at the American Public Health Association Conference’s annual agenda. There are many, many presentations on reproductive health, including a growing body of work about the need to make intake counseling at family planning clinics more sensitive to domestic violence issues. That’s useful research undertaken mainly by pro-choicers. Pro-lifers don’t want to actually do anything useful. They want to browbeat women into submission, pass out diapers, and pretend the world will be all right.
Also, pro-choicers tend to be more politically liberal, anyway. We’re the people who support social service programs. My partner works for a company that provides services to adults with autism, all funded by Medicaid (and he puts in 60+ hour weeks, only getting paid for 40). You won’t see too many conservative business majors working in the public sector.
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Good article. I do think it misses the point a bit, though. Some of us were most definitely unwanted and resented by our mothers. I think people need to realize there is a difference between unwanted and unplanned. My daughter was unplanned but absolutely wanted. I was unplanned and absolutely unwanted. It is an even stronger argument against the “abort the unwanted” crap to point out that an abortion isn’t a solution to the problems that a mother who genuinely doesn’t want her child faces. If my mother had aborted me, she would have one less kid, but she would still be poor, still be mentally ill and still would have abused my older siblings. Abortion wouldn’t have helped the problems that she wanted me aborted for. Abortion isn’t a solution, it compounds the problems and doesn’t help. If the people at the clinic had given my parents support and mental health assistance instead of ignoring them when they didnt go through with the abortion, who knows what good they could have done? But no, they weren’t interested in solving her problems unless it was through aborting me.
But yeah, my point is, even though some women do genuinely regret their children, aborting those children wouldn’t have helped those women with the issues they were facing. Help them, don’t kill their offspring and send them on their way.
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For all you proaborts out there: can you tell me, even anecdotally, one woman who has carried an unplanned pregnancy to term and then has said, years later, I WISH I HAD THAT ABORTION WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE?
I am not a “pro-abort,” but I shared this story once before: when I was taking a public speaking course in college, one of our assignments was to give a persuasive speech on a controversial topic. A woman in my class chose abortion, and said that when she got pregnant in high school she was strongly pro-life, so she kept the pregnancy, and at the time of the speech loved her five-year old daughter very much. But she said she had become pro-choice in the intervening years, because she saw firsthand how hard young motherhood is; and she said that she wished she had had a full perspective on the issue when she found herself pregnant as a teenager. She didn’t explicitly say that she wished she’d had an abortion, but she said she wished someone had been there to tell her it was okay to consider it.
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That’s what I was trying to say, Alexandra. I think it’s wishful thinking to pretend every woman will not regret having kids. It still doesn’t mean that abortion is the answer, but it is silly to pretend it’s all sunshine and fairies
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I agree with you completely, Jack. I think that in some cases – my classmate’s – maybe we could look at what made her life so difficult that caused her to wish she had actually aborted her daughter. She was an intelligent woman, and pretty compassionate by most accounts – and at one point in her life she felt that the right to life trumps the right to bodily autonomy. Her experiences changed her mind – what hardships had she endured to shift her beliefs, and could they have been alleviated in any way?
In other cases – yours – the solutions are even harder. I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re here.
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Thats messed up for a parent to not want their child. That goes beyond mental illness… thats an issue of a self-centered heart. “Lacking natural affection.” the Bible speaks of this evil.
My son is a handful. Unplanned but how could I not want him? Even on the hardest days (like yesterday) I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I have less money, time and energy for myself yet I would rather die than not be his mommy. I cannot, cannot, cannot understand a mother who says she wishes someone had talked her into aborting her precious, irreplaceable child.
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Right. The truth is that abortion would be just as wrong as it is even if every single woman was totally proud of her abortion and it “improved” her life tremendously. Abortion is wrong because it is the unjust taking of an innocent human life.
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@Megan, can you be for real? You wrote that pro-lifers don’t *want to* do anything useful but just to hand out diapers. Forget about the “want to” part. How about the “what they are actually doing” part. There are Crisis Pregnancy Homes all over the country. One example in my area is Morningstar Ministries. These are more than just Crisis Pregnancy Centers. These places house pregnant women and care for them, take them to appointments, make sure they learn parenting and life skills, try to get them jobs, try to transition them back into their families, etc. They aren’t just “Handing out diapers.” They are also grassroots and grossly un- and under-funded, unlike some of the other types of social services. Autism is currently real hot and sexy right now, so yes, there’s a lot of money being pumped into Autism while these pregnant moms and their preborn babies are being ignored. How do I know? Because I have two beautiful children with autism.
You also wrote that pro-abort libs “are the people who support social service programs” (i.e., unlike the pro-life conservatives who just don’t care). I guess you have never heard of Catholic Social Services? Are they a bunch of pro-abort liberals? Really? They are probably the biggest provider of social services in the entire world.
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Megan, what do you mean what am I talking about? What are YOU talking about? Again, you ignore biology and logic, you don’t ask WHY, and you talk about abortion as if it’s healthcare. ABORTION IS NOT HEALTHCARE. I’m not politically conservative, I give a crapload of my money and time to various charities. Don’t lecture me. Your arguments are relativistic and solipsistic, and are really just excuses for this unnecessary and anti-feminist “procedure.” Seriously, pro-abort worship of abortion is far more disturbiing than religious pro-lifers. You will stop at NOTHING to make sure women kill their babies, no matter what the cost. I am so done with you, Megan give it a rest. Go to Jezebel or something. We will never change your heart, and you will never change ours.
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Jeff Jacoby, Boston Globe columnist, wrote an article a few years ago on the charitable giving of religious vs non-religious people. Religious people give more to charitable causes than do non-religious. No big surprise there, really, but to Megan – yes, it’s true that alot of prolifers, like myself, would like to minimize the amount of our money that is taken from us and directed to programs whose philosophies we may or may not entirely agree with, whose administration may or may not be effective, how much waste/abuse/fraud there is in the program or among those who run it, etc. That doesn’t mean we don’t volunteer or support causes that help people.
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Mary Lee, the pro-aborts are not here to change hearts. They’re here to make us into villains so they can continue to justify their own abortions.
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Kel says:
October 25, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Mary Lee, the pro-aborts are not here to change hearts. They’re here to make us into villains so they can continue to justify their own abortions.
(Denise) I’ve been called a “pro-abort.” I’ve never had an abortion. The idea of abortion is repulsive to me.
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Thanks for the above comments by Bobby, Lisa, Mary Lee, Jack and Kel…
@ Megan:Pro-lifers don’t want to actually do anything useful. They want to browbeat women into submission, pass out diapers, and pretend the world will be all right.
Joy: gosh Megan. You certainly don’t speak for me and anyone who does similar work. We help women in all situations – sometimes helping with rent/electrical payments, and certainly providing food, clothing, transportation (yearly bus passes) etc and good cheer. We’ve arranged for Christmas and other special occasions, and have partnered with service agencies, including medical ones to get a person seen quickly by a doctor.
Today, we just arranged for a family to get a new couch arrangement – at no cost to them. We provide friendship also. No money buys that.
We can’t guarantee everyone a fancy car or home. We can not insure an easy life. But we do have heart, and give that away daily.
I would certainly consider all of this useful – and the families we help are happy we are involved.
Megan: Also, pro-choicers tend to be more politically liberal, anyway. We’re the people who support social service programs. My partner works for a company that provides services to adults with autism, all funded by Medicaid (and he puts in 60+ hour weeks, only getting paid for 40). You won’t see too many conservative business majors working in the public sector.
Joy: I just love generalizations (not!). Conservatives support social programs also. All it takes is a big and generous heart. Maybe you just hang around in the wrong social circles. FYI, I work in the public sector – for free – and I am a business major (MBA).
All you have to do is look, and you will see. People with big hearts do all kinds of things, and many of us are considered conservative – I consider myself orthodox Catholic. It’s our duty and pleasure (and honor) to serve – with preferential treatment toward the poor – in material goods and spirit. It’s what we are called to do.
I hope that someday you will discover us, and join us – since the greatest human atrocity is denying humans their basic dignity, which includes their right to life.
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When it comes to social services, Mother Teresa of Calcutta, who would out-do anyone who comments on this site, had this to say about abortion:
“But I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child – a direct killing of the innocent child.” – Feb 1994, National Prayer Breakfast, Washington, DC
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Kel says:October 25, 2011 at 3:07 pmMary Lee, the pro-aborts are not here to change hearts. They’re here to make us into villains so they can continue to justify their own abortions.
(Denise) I’ve been called a “pro-abort.” I’ve never had an abortion. The idea of abortion is repulsive to me.
I wasn’t referring to you, Denise.
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I probably called you one, Denise. Why? Because if you want abortion to remain legal and an acceptable option for women, then you are certainly NOT pro-life but you are Pro-Abortion. You can’t have it both ways.
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ninek says:
October 25, 2011 at 6:38 pm
I probably called you one, Denise. Why? Because if you want abortion to remain legal and an acceptable option for women, then you are certainly NOT pro-life but you are Pro-Abortion. You can’t have it both ways.
(Denise) I believe that, if it were implemented, my Forced Information plan would shrivel abortion demand. It would also help make in unacceptable.
I support a variety of measures that I believe would radically decrease abortion by decreasing the appalling and utterly unnecessary number of problem pregnancies. While one poster believes “problem pregnancies are inevitable,” their numbers could certainly be decreased.
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Yes – thank you Eric – Mother Theresa said it all, and did so much good… She was not afraid to tell the truth, even in sensitive situations – such as at the National Prayer Breakfast – in front of the pro-abortion President Clinton and his supporters. She was an amazing woman. I consider her a hero, for sure. Truly a beautiful model to follow.
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A child is a human being, Denise, not a “problem pregnancy.” You still believe abortion should be legal. I’ve heard that ‘safe legal rare’ BS for too long. I ain’t buyin’ it.
Choice= choice to murder an innocent child.
You are pro-abortion, but obviously you are not 100% comfortable with it. A child is alive or a child is dead. There is no half-way. I suggest you stop waffling and get off that very rickety fence you’re trying to straddle. Perhaps if you look in the mirror and admit you’re pro-choice (=pro-abortion), you may be able to begin the change to pro-life. Nobody goes to AA and announces “Hello my name is Bob, and although other people may say so, I’m not really an alcoholic.”
Get off the fence, Denise, one way or the other.
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“And I think the reason that we freak out the pro-choice movement so much is not that we’re woman-hating sex phobes” – aha! An admission :-)
So women who choose not to abort an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy usually end up happy to have the child. That’s great.
But not all of them are all that happy, it’s just so socially unacceptable to say so that they stay silent.
And most of those who do choose to terminate are also happy.
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aha! An admission
Wow, I hope you’re joking and that you read the whole article.
Of course, maybe you’re not joking, since most of the pro-abort commenters here have actually said that those of us who have lots of kids (and therefore lots of sex) somehow are “sex phobes.”
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Yes I was joking Kel, hence the smiley face. And I did read the whole article.
Hm, lotsa kids doesn’t necessarily equate to lotsa sex though.
The only ‘phobia’ is about other people having sex outside of the defined parameters that some of you espouse. I don’t know what we’d call that ‘phobia’. Any suggestions?
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The only phobia I have about sex is that people will have it and then murder their children. I personally wouldn’t have minded if socially we had developed into a culture that included liberal ideas about sex as long as we embraced life. Sex within marriage is good, but sex in a relationship where both adults know that if there’s a pregnancy, there will also be a child is OK. But that’s not what’s happening. People are having sex under the assumption that as long as they mentally intend NOT to have a child, then they are legally able to destroy that child. Be like bunnies if you want, but stop killing pre-born human beings. Why couldn’t we have a culture where women have casual sex and then give birth to their children? Why does sex have to lead to death?
Sure, I bet some pro-lifers out there don’t like sex. Lots of pro-choice people don’t like sex. Liking sex or not liking sex isn’t what this is about. It’s about people’s lives and who gets treated like trash and thrown out because their parents’ romance hit the skids.
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“The only phobia I have about sex is that people will have it and then murder their children.”
Why did you have an abortion, ninek?
“Mary Lee, the pro-aborts are not here to change hearts. They’re here to make us into villains so they can continue to justify their own abortions.”
I don’t care about converting anybody. I just hate having to walk through a line of picketers to get to my women’s health clinic for an annual pap smear (not PP, though it wouldn’t matter either way) without some 40 Days for Life wacko waving signs in my face. I hate that in the state of Mississippi, it’s a legitimate political concern to make sure that a fertilized egg has the same legal standing as the woman carrying it. I’m irritated, very irritated, and I don’t give a dang about who I piss off here. You want to enact these draconian laws? Expect there to be a pushback.
“You will stop at NOTHING to make sure women kill their babies, no matter what the cost.”
All you do is rant and whine. I wouldn’t care if a single woman chose to never have an abortion ever again, as long as they could freely make that decision.
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Excuse me, Megan? All I do is whine? YOU whine. You are here, every single day, trying to justify your abortion to a bunch of strangers. I decry abortion, and its supporters, because it is an injustice.
Who whines more than pro-aborts? You whine ALL THE TIME, every single one of you.
Yeah, those abolitionists, what a bunch of whiners. Martin Luther King Jr., what a whiner. Women who speak out against domestic violence, bunch of crybabies.
We’ve tried to help you see, but you won’t. So you resort to calling me names and acting like a child because you haven’t any actual arguments. You’re a lost, bitter, hateful person who actively supports the killing of babies. Hell, i’d rather be a pro-life whiner. I’m done with you. You are pathetic.
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Mary Lee, you forgot Frederick Douglass. I was just reading a biography on him. He thundered about the injustice of slavery. I guess he was a whiner too according to Megan.
He should have just been glad he was free and stop pushing his personal beliefs on white slave holders. I mean, if he was against slavery then he shouldn’t own one. But he shouldn’t have told others what to do… “My plantation, my choice” right?
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You want to enact these draconian laws?
Oh yes, our desired protections of gestating human beings are so draconian. I mean, it’s not like we’re talking about loss of human life or anyth-oh, waitaminute….
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“And most of those who choose to terminate are also happy?” If this is even true, I sure wouldn’t want to know these people!
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You probably do Josie, you just don’t know it.
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Why do you ask Megan? What difference would it make? Except that my doctor lied to me about the laws in my state and gave a crappy diagnosis for which I should have sought a second opinion. For a while I despised her so much for referring me to that ghoul I couldn’t even pronounce her name. She’s been on Oprah with new hair and a new career. She’s altogether out of the ob/gyn field. Good riddance.
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bottom line it should be illegal in the US!
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Need to copy and paste Bobby’s comment again for you Reality!!!
The truth is that abortion would be just as wrong as it is even if every single woman was totally proud of her abortion and it “improved” her life tremendously. Abortion is wrong because it is the unjust taking of an innocent human life.
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Megan, I have an 8 year old named Payton (unplanned, of course). Now he’s a whiner! Whew!! You ought to meet him. I think I might I think I might draconianly ground him today after school for whining so much. You should meet him. Then you might realize what true whining is.
Of course, you could have dealt with whining from a child first hand,right? But you had a choice, right? Is this one of the things that made you happy?
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Courtnay, I can answer your question. I do know someone that had a child at an early age and wishes she had aborted. She got pregnant at 18, was married at 19, had the baby at 19. She claims they were going to get married and already engaged but trust me when I say the numbers don’t add up when she tells me what month she was engaged, the date of their marriage and the birth of my older sister. Too many times, while growing up, I heard her mutter “I wish I had aborted you.” My sister grew up KNOWING she wasn’t wanted and was reminded all the time that it was her fault our mother didn’t get the college education she “deserved”. Even now, she reminds people that she didn’t get a college degree and I want to scream “That was YOUR fault. YOU got pregnant, not her. YOU made a good choice, to let her live yet you make this out to be HER fault.” and now my sister battles severe depression, clinically has been diagnosed as bi-polar and has tried to commit suicide twice. She also forced me to have an abortion when I was 20yrs old. Her excuse was “Don’t ruin your life like I did.” and to this day, 15 yrs later, she still justifies it (after I went through 10 years of HELL trying to justify and rationalize why a Catholic would support something so horrible).
So yeah, there are people out there. While my sister wasn’t the easiest kid to raise, my mother wasn’t the best of mothers and I don’t support the idea that “she did the best she could at the time.” I don’t think she tried. She hated my sister, she hated what my sister represented (lost future) and she makes sure to let my sister know what a burden she is.
And no, I don’t have the best relationship with my mother. I honestly wish I could cut her completely out of my life. If it wasn’t for this sadistic sense of God fearing “loyalty” to the Commandment of “Honor your mother and father”… I wouldn’t have her in my life. My mother isn’t allowed to talk to my girls about life, especially when it comes to Catholic morality and to be honest, she’s quite confused as to how I can teach my children to be so pro-life because “You know, abortion is ok in some cases. It’s necessary.”
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Anonymouse,
Your mother is mentally ill. Any mother who tells a child that they wished they had aborted them is mentally ill. She is sick, sick, sick.
I am so sorry for what you and your sister have been through. Breaks my heart.
I was raised in an abusive family and you can Honor your Father and Mother by breaking the cycle. I haven’t seen my own parents in 9 years. I would love to be with them if it were safe for me and my children. I am also a post abortive mother.
I am a moderator here. Please email me.
carla@jillstanek.com
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Anonymouse-I echo Carla’s sorrow over your situation. Your mom is mentally ill. Your sister deserved life, and I hope she, and you, find healing. My prayers go out to you today.
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ninek says:
October 25, 2011 at 7:57 pm
A child is a human being, Denise, not a “problem pregnancy.”
(Denise) I wish my mother had never said, “X is pregnant. Y wishes she’d never taken her in, she’s been such a disappointment” — but she did. I wish my mother had never said, “Help for pregnant girls? Tell ’em not to screw around!” — but she did.
I wish no woman were ever so upset at getting pregnant that she committed suicide rather than carry to term — but I’ve read of cases of just that.
I have a friend who would have aborted no matter what when she was first pregnant. She has said that “nothing” was going to stop her.
I heard of a rape victim who stabbed herself in the belly when it swelled with pregnancy as a result of the attack.
The above can’t be wished away. Nor does outlawing abortion automatically make them disappear.
I hope that we can work for a world in which they will, to the extent humanly possible, be things of the past.
Ninek, would YOU have aborted had my Forced Information plan been in place?
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Denise, bellies that are pregnant don’t “swell” and they don’t “swell with pregnancy.” The uterus expands as the child within it grows. I know this because I’ve had 3 pregnancies and felt my children’s arms, elbows, knees and feet poking from my pregnant belly. My belly wasn’t “swollen.” I was carrying a child.
“I had a friend… I heard of…” Ya know what, there are desperate people and some mentally unstable people.
And what are you, running for office with your “Forced Information” plan? Geeze, Denise, you are something else…
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My daughter Hope was an unplanned pregnancy, born two months after I turned 40. My boys were fertility drug babies who were 3 and 5 when I found out I had somehow become fertile. Connor is a redhead and Liam’s hair was platinum then. I had been married for 11 years, owned a house, both my husband and I were working. But this new baby was not in my plans and some people actually said to me, “You should have an abortion.” I looked at my two healthy, beautiful boys and understood for the first time what blasphemy against the Holy Spirit would be. My beautiful brunette girl was born in November 1998 and it is beyond unthinkable that I could have legally ended her life because she might have been inconvenient. Which, by the way, she wasn’t. She hardly ever woke up for the first six months, and she’s been smiling ever since.
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“So you resort to calling me names and acting like a child because you haven’t any actual argument.”
Okay, Ms. “I hate abortion and it’s worse than the Holocaust and I saw an ultrasound BAAHH and I’m going to make the wild claim that pro-choicers hate babies BAHH some more.” You don’t have substantive arguments. I was simply countering your claim that pro-choicers want women to “abort at all costs.” In the real world, we call that a “straw man argument.”
Be done with me if you want. All you have is raw emotion, anyway.
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MegaNagem: I’ve got a text for you: “Hello pot, this is kettle…”
And to answer you Denise:
If abortion had never been legal, and marketed, my doctor would have told me I was in a risky pregnancy and offered me prenatal care. If abortion had never been legal, then women might still believe that sex is how babies are made.
Today, we are in the middle of destroying a second generation of men, women, and their fertility. We are letting corporations, pharmaceutical companies, fertility clinics, and abortionists all make a mountain of money off the confusion, fear, and misinformation of innocent women and their families.
Elective abortion and euthenasia deserve to be illegal and I’m committed to the fight until that becomes a worldwide reality.
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Kel says:
October 26, 2011 at 11:43 am
Denise, bellies that are pregnant don’t “swell” and they don’t “swell with pregnancy.” The uterus expands as the child within it grows. I know this because I’ve had 3 pregnancies and felt my children’s arms, elbows, knees and feet poking from my pregnant belly. My belly wasn’t “swollen.” I was carrying a child.
“I had a friend… I heard of…” Ya know what, there are desperate people and some mentally unstable people.
(Denise) I was just pointing out that I can’t just FORGET about the fact that pregnancy causes difficulties and that some may completely reject the pregnancy. As I said, I wish I hadn’t heard some of the things I heard because they were so disturbing. However, it’s also true that, as a fertile teenager, I didn’t get pregnant because these things frightened me into spending most of my time isolated and in my room. I didn’t want to be a “disappointment” like the girl who got pregnant.
<<And what are you, running for office with your “Forced Information” plan? Geeze, Denise, you are something else…>>
(Denise) I’m just saying that “Forced Information” is one of the things I support to decrease abortions and that I think this would trigger a reaction which might lead not only to carrying to term but to the pregnant female taking good care of herself during the pregnancy so the baby is likely to be born healthy rather than afflicted due to her drug taking or alcohol abuse.
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Dear everyone, I am in a particularly bad mood right now because there is nothing but sadness in our house right now. My mother is terminally ill, I stay up on night duty to care for her, and my aunt (in the same house) is also terminally ill. My cat has cancer and my car died. I’m WHINING again, but that’s why I am nothing *BUT* raw emotion (ahem, Megan). Life is so precious and so short; I see that so clearly, with so much impending death around me. To think that killing one’s baby is ever the “answer” feeds my grief and frustration
So, Megan, excuse the ham out of me.
Time to take a break from the interwebs.
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You are in my thoughts Mary Lee. Don’t forget to also care for yourself.
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I’m sorry to hear about that, Marylee. I went through something similar (close relative) a few years back. Hang in there. There are no “answers” to anything. Even an insane, angry, bitter pro-choicer can admit that.
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Mary Lee,
:(
I am so so sorry. I am praying for you and yours.
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Megan,
Wait a minute.
I thought I was the insane, angry, bitter prolifer???
:)
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Megan, there are answers. You have to be willing to look for them.
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I agree. Saying “there are no answers” is part and parcel to the whole relativisitic mindset that fuels the drive to allow women to “terminate” their precious children. Once you come to a place where there is absolute truth, absolute right and wrong even in the midst of an ethical dilemma, an absolute set of moral principles established by God, then you can come to a place where you can say there are answers. Then it is up to you to make the right choice based on your own free will. We do not have the right to choose evil. We have the ability to chose evil, but not the right to.
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Jill, you are apparently a huge fan of abstinence, as evidenced by the number of posts you’ve done under that category. You know what abstinence DOESN’T lead to? Babies. Logical consistency would demand that you not only oppose abstinence but prescribe sex at every conceivable (pardon the pun) opportunity from the onset of puberty until menopause so as not to squander any opportunities to procreate.
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Jill, you are apparently a huge fan of abstinence, as evidenced by the number of posts you’ve done under that category. You know what abstinence DOESN’T lead to? Babies. Logical consistency would demand that you not only oppose abstinence but prescribe sex at every conceivable (pardon the pun) opportunity from the onset of puberty until menopause so as not to squander any opportunities to procreate.
I beg your pardon? What does this even mean?? LOL the trolls today are really off their rockers…
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Oh, and I’m a fan of abstinence, personally. :) Kept me from getting an STD before I married my also-abstinent husband. It’s nice not having to get tested every year, wondering what new surprise I might have to deal with.
It was also nice being a teenager and not having to deal with the drama my sexually active friends were dealing with. Unplanned pregnancy, abortion, a LOT of heartbreak, STDs… yeah, I’m a fan of avoiding all that stuff, and I’m proud to say so!
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Kel, about that woman who stabbed herself in the belly when it expanded with a pregnancy through rape. Do you think she should have been prosecuted for a crime?
If so, what crime?
Should she have been imprisoned?
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As with ANYONE exhibiting self-injurious COUPLED WITH homicidal behaviors, she should’ve been taken for mental health care. Anyone doing something is obviously mentally ill and needs treatment.
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BTW, I was born in 1968 in Washington, DC to an unwed mother and placed for adoption. And I’m pro-choice. We exist too.
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Yeah, and every time you guys mention stuff like that, I enjoy bringing up what a liar/hypocrite you are. Death is good enough for OTHER “unwanted” children, but not you, huh?
Since 1968 is earlier than 1973, you’re cool, because YOU got to live. Now that YOU’RE out, just screw all the other “unwanted children”. All about you. How typical.
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However, it’s also true that, as a fertile teenager, I didn’t get pregnant because these things frightened me into spending most of my time isolated and in my room.
Denise, have you ever talked with your doctor about social anxiety/panic issues?
Donna, have you ever had an abortion?
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Praxedes says:
October 30, 2011 at 6:07 pm
However, it’s also true that, as a fertile teenager, I didn’t get pregnant because these things frightened me into spending most of my time isolated and in my room.
Denise, have you ever talked with your doctor about social anxiety/panic issues?
(Denise) I have been to many doctors and therapists. I’m handicapped due to a mental illness.
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Thanks for sharing this, Denise. It helps me understand where you are coming from.
As a fertile teenager, I didn’t get pregnant because I chose not to have intercourse.
I teach young people that they can find a happy medium between spending time isolated in their rooms and spending time having sex.
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Praxedes says:
October 30, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Thanks for sharing this, Denise. It helps me understand where you are coming from.
As a fertile teenager, I didn’t get pregnant because I chose not to have intercourse.
I teach young people that they can find a happy medium between spending time isolated in their rooms and spending time having sex.
(Denise) I was terrified that interactions with other people would inevitably lead to a problem pregnancy because if I developed feelings of love for a boy or man, I wouldn’t be able to refuse him sexual favors. In addition, I was aware that my own sexual desires were extremely strong. Isolating myself appeared the only way to avoid a pregnancy that would have been disastrous.
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