I’m in heaven; that’s why we chose her name Sky… She’s beautiful. We’re very happy…
Open adoption is very important for us…. We will raise her with all the love we have.
~ Priscilla Devries (pictured) and Richard Dros, parents from the Netherlands who have adopted a second baby from the United States, as featured on the Today Show as part of their “Choosing Adoption on TODAY” week-long special, November 7
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Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
I have heard that their are far fewer babies available in Western Europe than in the U.S. so this doesn’t surprise me. A lot of Western Europeans adopt from impoverished countries, too. There have even been appeals from the government of India for UK citizens to adopt their abandoned baby girls (there’s never been a one-child policy in India like in China, but for a variety of reasons girls are not as wanted there either)
In my case I tried it the other way around, when I was in Holland I tried to adopt from “The Cat Boat.”*an organization that helps homeless cats, but they said they didn’t do international adoptions. So, when I went home, I adopted from a local shelter, and one of my cats’ original names was Sky!
*I know there are plenty of cats available in the U.S. but my own cat of 17 years had just passed away, so I guess I was vulnerable. (-:
Wait… you’re telling me that a white, newborn female in the United States had to go to the Netherlands to find adoptive parents?!? I don’t buy it. Something’s not right here. With all the adoptive parents waiting here in the U.S.? Was she “sold” somehow?
Something about this just stinks. Not the baby — she’s precious and I pray she has a good home with good parents. God bless her.
Jen, the article stated that the birth mother specifically chose this couple because they are both police officers and she very much wanted a safe home for her baby, having had a traumatic upbringing. It was stressed that safety was the birth mom’s number one issue, and the low crime rate of the Netherlands may have also inspired her to choose this family.
While I know that there are many fantastic couples available in the US, I think it is very important that a birth mother have the final say in choosing whoever the parents of her baby will be. Placing restrictions on whom she may choose may make adoption look less appealing to vulnerable pregnant women who may feel that their choices are already limited.
“Wait… you’re telling me that a white, newborn female in the United States had to go to the Netherlands to find adoptive parents?!?”
Well, the Today Show link just said that the biological mother chose them to be the adoptive parents. It doesn’t sound like she “had to” go to the Netherlands, just that she happened to choose parents that live there.
Okay, I see len beat me to it. I need to learn to type faster. :)
This was my favorite adoption story in that article. It made me tear up when I saw it online awhile back, and seeing it today had the same effect on me. It is so sweet:
http://www.today.com/moms/adoptive-moms-newborn-photo-shoot-13-year-old-son-goes-1C8347362
Is it strange to think “If I wanted to and was capable of raising a child, an available baby* of ANY race would do, even if it was a domestic adoption?
*if babies were among the ages you were considering adopting that is, I know many people look into adopting children of various races and ages before they make their decision, and some even adopt 2 or more children of different races and ages!
Lovely couple and precious baby :) I’m glad TODAY is celebrating adoption with this special.
“Is it strange to think “If I wanted to and was capable of raising a child, an available baby* of ANY race would do, even if it was a domestic adoption?”
No, why would that be strange? Babies of all races need families and race really doesn’t mean anything to an infant or child who needs love and care. Non-white babies and children get adopted much less than white babies and children do.
I honestly think it’s pathetic and racist if people DON’T want to adopt outside their race. “Oh I want a baby so bad! Ew but not that brown baby.”. It really does disgust me.
Jack,
I am so glad that is not my experience. My church family has adopted children from EVERYWHERE! It is so wonderful to see ALL of us worshiping together. :)
I’m glad they didn’t discriminate adopting children based on race Carla, I really find few things more repugnant in the adoption industry than the prioritizing of white babies.
Nope. No discrimination. They only want to rescue. As Christ did.
Len that adoption story is so cool. I love it when people adopt older kids.
I said that about nonwhite babies because some people use the “adopting a healthy white baby*” thing almost as a sneer sometimes. It really wouldn’t matter to me if I was adopting, though it’s possible in open adoptions white birthmothers are most likely to select white people to adopt their child, with the main reason possibly being that they are the largest group population-wise (along with a pretty large half-white population too) As fo adopting older kids, that’s also a wonderful thing to do but I admit I would be afraid of one who’s past caused them to become violent.
*actually it’s more like “apparently healthy.” A child’s illnesses and/or disabilities can show up months or even years after birth, of course.
Well the vast majority of adoption-seeking couples are white. And I think the bio parents should be able to select whoever they please to adopt their child. My concern is the passing up of children that aren’t white by the adoptive parents. I think it’s gross to not adopt a child based on race. I get why people don’t want older children because of RAD and such, but I still worry about those kids not being taken care of and aging out of foster care with no family to speak of.
That’s amazing. I love adoptions. I hope to adopt one day and, Lord willing, would love to adopt older kids. It breaks my heart that they go unloved.
Most kids aging out of foster care is because they weren’t eligible for adoption until they were much older and “damaged”. Not because they were available since birth and no one wanted a brown baby. Not everyone is really up to an older child with RAD and severe learning and psychological disabilities. I have looked up my state’s foster to adopt website. There is one kid under the age of 6 listed. THAT is it. That child has special needs. And pretty much every child up to the age 10 has special needs. Most kids in foster care aren’t eligible for adoption because their parents aren’t relinquishing them. I know a couple in another state hoping to foster adopt. They’ve already adopted one brown baby and would love to adopt another. Their only criteria is a child younger than their already adopted child. The available foster to adopt children in the state under 6 yo? Single digits as well. People aren’t all just passing up tons of brown babies because they want a white one. They can’t even FIND a brown baby they can adopt!
Unfortunately it is true that it’s harder to find adoptive parents for black children in particular: http://www.npr.org/2013/06/27/195967886/six-words-black-babies-cost-less-to-adopt. I have more sources than that, there’s a lot of info on it.
Cheaper to get them, more of them end up unadoptable. There aren’t all that many infants in the first place, so most of them get adopted, even the black babies. But once you get to toddlers and children the black kids are much less likely to get adopted. This attitude that black babies are worth less, I firmly believe, contributes to the higher abortion rate in the black community.
And in the case of kids needing safe foster care but not being available to adopt, I really don’t respect people who overlook those kids because they can’t “keep” them. They still need to be cared for, and if their home is empty because you’re infertile and you looovveee kids so much, I don’t see why they wouldn’t care for the children who need a temporary home while they are waiting for a kid that they can keep. Do you know in my state they end up having to put older boys that are removed from abusive homes in juvey because there aren’t any homes with space for for them? The foster homes willing to take older boys fill up quick and then any kids who have no where to go end up in juvenile detention! It’s just awful. I think anyone who is “waiting” to adopt should be willing to foster temporarily (unless they have other children in the home that could be put at risk, some of the older kids can be dangerous to other kids).
And I sometimes feel like some of these adoptive parents don’t understand what parenting really is. Parents don’t get to pick and choose their children based on external characteristics. Are the people who “can’t handle” a child with physical/mental disabilities going to get rid of their kids if they get injured or ill at a later date? You gonna send the kid back if he doesn’t meet your expectations of perfection? Some things like autism don’t show up until a child is like three, when your perfect infant ends up not so perfect will you not want her anymore because you “aren’t up to a disabled child”. Doesn’t really seem like some of these people are genuinely up to parenting at all. It seems like the abortion mentality of some children being more worthy or love/life/parents than others.
Jack I couldn’t agree with you more and MM I would ask you to consider how your arguments about dismissing adoption of an older child because ‘not everyone is up for’ tackling special needs or a ‘damaged’ child compare to the arguments abortion proponents use. It isn’t the child’s fault they are ‘damaged’ or older when they become available for adoption and we should be opening our hearts and homes to them in the way we ask couples to do the same for the babies they discover will be imperfect after birth. http://www.adoptuskids.org has an amazing list of children – not all available children are listed on websites – and adoption through the foster system is FREE in most states and comes with stipends, waived college tuition at state colleges, Medicaid for the child until 18 to assist those who otherwise couldn’t afford a child and is open to couples and single parents.
Jack if you really want to hear something disgusting … I heard about a black couple who were all set to adopt a baby, then they saw the infant and decided he was “too dark”. Too dark for what? Unfortunately colorism is alive and well in the black (and Latino) communities.
That is disgusting. I think it’s awful how the cultural preference for light skin has even infected the black and Latino communities. It’s exceedingly prevalent in the Cubano community in particular.
How can anyone be “too dark”? I’m reeling from that one. :(
And there are still people who deny that racism and white preference exists nowadays.