Ohio RTL president: Make it easier to adopt
We have made a significant impact, abortion clinics are closing… in our evolution, we believe the next step is adoption….
More adoptions will lead to less abortions. More women will see opportunities to have their child and keep their child or place their child for adoption….
We’ve adopted two children, domestically and internationally, and what we’ve noticed, my wife and I, it was actually easier to adopt in Guatemala than to adopt our son from Cleveland.
~ Ohio Right to Life President Mike Gonidakis (pictured, with wife Amy, daughter Olivia and son Isaac), remarking on a soon-to-be-introduced plan in the Ohio State Senate proposing shorter wait times and more tax credits for Ohio adoptive families, as quoted by The Columbus Dispatch, October 7
[Photo by Alex Holt via the Dispatch]
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
That’s great! Sometimes it seems as though adoptive parents are stereotyped as all being millionaires*, when many, if not most, are middle-class and need help with the expenses of adopting a child.
As to the easier to adopt from a foreign country theory, in many cases, it could very well be true, but I know people who’ve actually had the “other way around” experience, their children were adopted as newborns from far off, exotic… New York and Pennsylvania. (-:
*not that there’s anything wrong with wealthy people adopting of course, as long as they are good people
My wife and I have adopted four children in Ohio. All four were adopted from our county family services agency. The costs to us were essentially zero, or at least no more than the usual cost of caring for and raising a birth child. We fostered the children first which led to adoption. We were actually compensated for fostering until they were adopted. That was certainly not a money-making venture, but it defrayed many of the costs of care during that time. All of the legal expenses for the adoptions were covered by the agency. So if anyone says they would adopt but can’t afford it, I say that is absolutely not true. You just have to be willing to adopt the children that most need it through a governmental agency. And that may mean older children, sibling groups, babies with difficult backgrounds or other complications. But if you are open to whatever children God may bring your way, they can be adopted with little or no cost.
Mr. Gonidakis may be referring to getting a very young child with no complications. In our area, it is very difficult to get a newborn through the state agency as there just are not many of them available. He may also be referring to the training that is required to be an adoptive parent through a state agency. We had to attend something like 40 hours of training to be foster parents, and people wanting to adopt directly without fostering had to do the same.
YES!!
Make it easier for parents to adopt.
That’s probably at least partially true, Bryan, but the kids I mentioned have no problems that I know of (well, one is only 2 right now, but so far she seems fine) In both cases, they were private adoptions, where each couple was chosen by the birthmother.
http://www.jillstanek.com/2013/03/what-not-to-say-about-adoption/
I refer you to the post about positive adoption language. To say keep the baby or place it for adoption is using negative terms off the bat. Make and adoption plan, choose parenting does not start the concept off in a negative light.
Also, many clients in a crisis pregnancy do not want to be viewed in a negative light for choosing adoption. How many times do you hear that they won’t consider adoption because they think that puts them in a bad light but would consider abortion. Birth mothers are brave, courageous and selfless.
Pro choicers always love to say that ppl who are rtl dont adopt.
One thing I have heard over and over from the ladies that have put their babies up for adoption.
We need to stop saying, “JUST put her up for adoption.” as if it is easy peasy. In fact so many of them struggle with their decision and long for their children. They are in support groups and see counselors because putting your child up for adoption is NOT easy.
They are thankful they did but we need to realize the heartache that can come along with it and offer our support.
And that may mean older children, sibling groups, babies with difficult backgrounds or other complications. But if you are open to whatever children God may bring your way, they can be adopted with little or no cost.
We need to stop saying, “JUST put her up for adoption.” as if it is easy peasy. In fact so many of them struggle with their decision and long for their children. They are in support groups and see counselors because putting your child up for adoption is NOT easy.
Both good points, thank you!
memyselfandI – my point was that in “state agency” adoptions, the children are generally not uncomplicated newborns – note that the adoptions you spoke of were private adoptions which are certainly great options also – but for people looking for low or no cost ways to offer loving homes for children who need them, “governmental” adoptions provide that path as long as you are open to whatever children God may put in your life
Carla – outstanding comment – our local PSC, RTL organization and 40 Days group recently help an event at which they focused on adoption – there was a mother there who had chosen adoption – and I will tell you it was one of the most poignant things I have ever seen as she shook and cried while trying to speak – it gave me a whole new understanding of the tremendous sacrifice that she and other women have made to give their children life – I approach the topic with a completely different feeling now than I did before – and “just give them up for adoption” is not part of my vocabulary now
Bryan, thank you so much for adopting out of family services. I always get in trouble on this blog with my adoption opinions but I am mostly just worried about the kids no one wants. Pretty much all newborns that are healthy will be adopted almost immediately, very few unhealthy, abused or older kids will ever get their “forever” home.
Adoption will never be particularly popular but it’s necessary for some people. And I agree that people need to stop acting like the relinquishment was easy for the natural mothers. If you’ve ever watched someone cry for HOURS over a baby she gave up years ago you’d see that it’s not easy at all, and that “just give the baby up for adoption” isn’t really a good thing to say to an expecting mother even if she’s poor, young or single.
Jack – thanks
I was honestly ignorant of the situation for many children in permanent custody of the state. If they do not get adopted, they “age out.” That is a nice euphemism for turning 18 and being cut loose to fend for themselves effectively with no family. Really?? How is that OK? I think it is a tragedy. If you want to see something tough, go to your local family services office and look through the albums of kids hoping to be adopted, many of whom will not be. It is truly heartbreaking.
Sorry for being the grammar police, but “More adoptions will lead to less abortions.” should read “More adoptions will lead to fewer abortions.”
No one should be forced to give a baby up for adoption but our media has always seemed so strange about it. they’ve shown so much of women/girls crying because they gave up a baby, AND women/girls crying because they KEPT the baby!