Quote of the Day 1-4-11
Two competing views on the same results of a recent study:
A… study was released today saying that 10% of teens who were abstinent ironically had also contradicted a sexually transmitted disease, and people are shocked, shocked I tell ya, and I’m not really sure why. With abstinence programs on the rise, screaming out against intercourse but not necessarily sexual acts, kids may not be doing the deed, but by golly, they’re doing something….
And unfortunately, this failure to completely educate teenagers about all sides of sex can lead to them having lifelong issues, carrying around and possibly spreading sexually transmitted diseases. Preach abstinence if you so choose, but please also get on your soapbox about the severe consequences of all sexual acts — ones that teens may believe are “okay” and “safe” to perform unless you tell them otherwise.
~Brittny Drye, The Stir, January 3
Valerie Huber of the National Abstinence Education Association [states] 75% of young people in America are receiving explicit contraceptive-centered education that defines “abstinence” subjectively. She believes that could be one of the reasons why teens who say they are abstinent have an STD.
“Because in these curricula [teens] are given free rein to define abstinence in any way, including whatever doesn’t cause a pregnancy or however they want to define it,” she explains. “And we know that there are a lot of behaviors that put them at risk for sexually transmitted diseases.”
Huber says the abstinence programs that her organization promotes are very clear about what constitutes safe and unsafe behavior.
~Bill Bumpas, OneNewsNow, January 4
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
A lot of my friends thought oral sex wasn’t sex. You can thank Bill Clinton for that one. lol.
Yeah…people think “petting”, oral or anal sex isn’t really anything.
That’s why when you educate on sexuality/sexual activity you have to cover everything because people will try to rationalize with saying “it’s not sex” when it is a form of sexual activity.
I’d say you can thank their parents for that one.
Alexandra, do kids today actually learn about sex from their parents, or do they learn about it through the educational system and the media?
Golly, Beaver, I thought Mom and Dad were just old fuddy-duddies. :D
I’m so glad my kids are adults now!
I used to have a couple gal pals that were “virgins by a technicality.” They did things that would curl your hair to hear about! So, while it doesn’t protect them from heartache or STD’s, at least they didn’t endure the trauma of abortion. But like I said, they got their hearts broken just like anyone else.
I definitely learned about sex from my parents. I never considered them fuddy-duddies, although I think that having my mom and dad be my primary sources of education about sex put me off of it until I was definitely ready for it! As a result of my parents’ active and ongoing dialogue, I always considered sex something grown-ups did, not something I had somehow invented myself that they just wouldn’t understand. I think that was a pretty healthy way to grow up.
My mom told me what oral sex was, when I asked (although I used a more slang term when bringing it up). Some time later, I asked if you were a virgin if you had oral sex. We talked about the fact that there are some people that think maybe they can “get away” with being virgins despite doing sexual things - not in graphic detail – and she said that the WORD ‘virgin’ didn’t really deserve so much importance, that it was what you DID that really mattered, not what you called yourself. And that ‘sexually active’ meant a lot more than technical intercourse, and whether you were a ‘virgin’ or not was nowhere near as important as whether you were ‘having sex’ or not.
FWIW I was in middle/high school during the Ken Starr thing. The media (though not really Ken Starr) definitely facilited my sex education, in that it gave me a sense that there was something I didn’t know (ie, my initial oral sex inquiry came after watching Saturday Night Fever; I asked about orgasms after an episode of Seinfeld) but it did not inform me. Sex ed in school covered stuff I basically already knew.
As a result of my parents’ active and ongoing dialogue, I always considered sex something grown-ups did, not something I had somehow invented myself that they just wouldn’t understand. I think that was a pretty healthy way to grow up.
Yes, very healthy. Just not the norm.
I’d imagine that old-man presidents rank right about up there alongside parents as far as “the norm” goes, when it comes to rumors and cultural education about sex. :P Regardless, do you blame a celebrity when kids emerge from their adolescence lacking crucial life information, or their parents?
When I speak in schools and explain to young people that the medical definition of sexual contact includes any part of your body contacting another person’s genitals, and vice versa, there’s always an audible gasp in the room. I go on to explain that this means you don’t need to “have sex” to be exposed to an STI/D and name several of the STIs that are transmissible through skin-to-skin contact, with age-appropriate examples. This study is sad, but useful as it backs up what I and many others have been saying for years.
I do not teach “abstinence until marriage.” I teach lifetime sexual integrity.
Sexual integrity is a commitment to respect yourself, your partner and/or your future/current spouse with your body, mind and spirit. The question is not “How far can we go without…..?” but “Which are the best choices I can make for myself and others?” It encompasses all areas of a young person’s development- physical, social, emotional, spiritual.
Explaining puberty, the menstrual cycle and how to put a condom on a banana and then calling that “Sex Ed” is RIPPING OUR KIDS OFF. They deserve so much more.
Regardless, do you blame a celebrity when kids emerge from their adolescence lacking crucial life information, or their parents?
I didn’t blame a celebrity. However, EVERY kid of age in America heard about President Clinton’s escapades, which – you have to admit – did indeed affect the views of many young people.
What I meant was it seems parents have passed the buck on nearly everything these days, including sex education, to the public school system, as well as allowing their kids to watch crap like Desperate Housewives and the like, which is where kids are mostly getting their ideas about sex. Not from their parents. But as for whose responsibility it is – yes, I believe parents SHOULD be the ones talking to their kids. But in reality, it’s just not the norm.
I learned what oral sex was because of the Lewinsky scandal, and I was a relatively sheltered kid (hence the whole not knowing about oral until I was an 8th grader? freshman?). I’d say that Clinton had an effect on the sexual education of most teens of the time.
That said, the widespread failure of parents to educate their children does not excuse the individual failures of each individual parent to be an active part of their children’s sexual education.