Quote of the Day 5-26-10
Does being pro-choice mean I have to support Michelle Duggar?…
Then again, being pro-choice means that I have to respect every choice,
even the ones I disagree with: to paraphrase Larry Flynt, “free speech
isn’t about protecting speech you like, it’s about protecting speech you
hate.”
I should support Michelle’s right to have as many kids as she
wants to, but I’ll tell you what I don’t support: the effects her
choices have on other people, namely her kids.
~ Lilit Marcus at TheGloss.com, May 25
May.26, 2010 9:08 am |
Quote of the Day |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
You mean her happy, well-adjusted kids? Gee….
what a MONSTER she is!
Well I don’t totally disagree with Lilit…
Don’t get me wrong, I am prolife. However, my father comes from a family of 20. He has 17 other siblings and my dad is #2. Basically he had to look after his siblings as well as his own four children. Although, family gathers are so much fun coz there are so many of us, not all of his siblings turned out great. My grandma ( lover her!) has worked and worked but rarely really “mothered”. I know situations can be different but
to some level, I do understand what L. Marcus was trying to say. The comments however posted on that blog as to Ms. Duggar should be sterilised is just wrong.
What are those effects? She and her husband have no debt and make their own money. They don’t rely on the support of the government. Simply because one child was born prematurely (out of 19) doesn’t mean that it’s dangerous to have a lot of children. Both my parents came from families with more than 10 children. They may have had to work hard when they were younger, but they are grateful for having that work ethic and concern for their families at such a young age. Those values they passed onto my generation. Having a large family teaches us to care for more than just ourselves. What a terrible thing!!
M,
The thing is, you can have just one child and have him or her turn out “not so great.” I don’t doubt that older children bear more responsibility in bigger families, but why is that necessarily a bad thing. It seems our culture rejects teaching children to be responsible or instilling a work ethic. Have conversations with parents today and you will see that most kids have NO responsibilities outside of getting themselves dressed. My neighbor once said, “heck, if it wasn’t an innate drive, I don’t think my son would even breath without being told to do so.”
I don’t have 19 children (nor do I have the desire to have 19 children – 5 is plenty), but I applaud what the Duggars have been able to accomplish. They seem truly blessed.
Those who understand evolution recognize that birth control gives family oriented folks a tremendous advantage. Our society and modern social mores are specific selection pressures that select for the behavior the Duggars. Children are nature’s reward. Think of all those gals who are proudly and voluntarily evolutionary dead ends.
He, he. She says, ” but I’ll tell you what I don’t support: the effects her choices have on other people, namely her kids.”
Uh huh. I bet she doesn’t. Mrs. Duggar’s kids and their beliefs are winning the survival contest, whereas Lilit’s kids (if any) are losing it.
I’m with you M, I am very pro-life and would love to have more than my two kids even if I were to adopt. But my husband is one of 13 kids, and none of his siblings have more than two kids each.
First of all, his mother died one month after the last was born. Then his father was working so much that he had no time (or inclination really) to be any kind of hands on, affectionate father. (I sometimes have to “coach” DH away from habits he learned from his father.) And yes, the older siblings did a lot of the “raising” of the younger ones, causing some resentment.
Granted, if his father had been a different sort of man things may have turned out differently, but no doubt growing up in a large family can be hard on the kids.
I watched the Duggars’ show for the very first time just a couple weeks ago. I was really, really looking to see what “horrible” treatment they were giving their children.
I couldn’t find any. They all seem like very happy, well-adjusted children. And it’s not as if Michelle is the first woman in history to have this many kids, either.
It’s the contraceptive mentality that’s led us to the denigration of this family.
Great picture!
I think her kids are glad to be alive…and enjoy every minute of it,what do you think?
“Mrs. Duggar’s kids and their beliefs are winning the survival contest….”
Posted by: hippie at May 26, 2010 11:07 AM
So true. And it makes the pro-aborts angry, but not angry enough to change their contraceptive ways.
* * *
“I think her kids are glad to be alive…and enjoy every minute of it,what do you think?”
Posted by: RSD at May 26, 2010 12:11 PM
Their family life may be a bit stressed, but I doubt they are lonely. Loneliness can be a major factor in depression and general unhappiness in life….
I don’t think most people could parent as well or effectively as the Duggars do with their 19 children. But is that any reason to rain on their parade?
I like what Lillit Marcus says “but I’ll tell you what I don’t support: the effects her choices have on other people, namely her kids. ” Yeah, Lillit, thats how we feel about abortion. Make your little choices, do what you will with your body, but we oppose abortion because of the effect it has on your kid. It kills them.
“Their family life may be a bit stressed, but I doubt they are lonely. Loneliness can be a major factor in depression and general unhappiness in life…. ”
Posted by: Janet at May 26, 2010 12:28 PM
Very astute and accurate observation, Janet. Who has no stress anyway?
“Make your little choices, do what you will with your body, but we oppose abortion because of the effect it has on your kid. It kills them.”
Posted by: Sydney M. at May 26, 2010 2:35 PM
Awesome, a truth we can hold as self evident, the right to life.
Hey “M”, even kids from small families don’t always turn out they way you want. Kids helping to take care of younger siblings is a great way to teach responsibility. In addition, to the person who said they may be depressed, kids from small families can be too. I think the Duggar’s show patience and love in raising their kids and the fact that the oldest son is following in their footprints and has not rebels shows that the kids are probably ok with it too. Non of the children look neglected. I would love to have a family that large.
Peg, you describe a very unusual situation- a father who you admit should have been a different sort of man, and a mother who died when the youngest child was just a few weeks old, adn then you use that situation to ‘prove’ that ‘no doubt’ being part of a large family is hard on the kids.
No, what there is not any doubt about is that growing up with NO MOTHER and an emotionally absent father is hard on kids, whether that’s one child, 13, or any number in between.
I met a waitress once who was one of 27 children. I asked her how she liked it and she said she loved it. She wasn’t going to have a big family herself, not because it was ‘hard’ on *her* but because she did not want to make the sacrifices she felt like her mother had made.
We have seven children. Two are married. They both are open to the blessings God has given them.
Kim, I never said that EVERY child should turn out great. All I was saying that, from the experience of my own family, it was definitely hard to have so many siblings to care for when you have to take care of your own little family too. My dads siblings did not have what the duggars have. They had nothing. So grandma and my soldier grandfather who was away all the time had nothing. They grew up in a government who does not provide aid to the families.
I am also not saying that my dad had wished he DID NOT have so many siblings. He loves all of them. I was simply saying that their lives were very hard.
To continue –
My uncles and aunts always wished their parents were there. One sibling had to be adopted by a friend coz my grandma could not watch over her anymore. They later reunited.
And to end, I am very proud of my family and I tell every one I know that my dad is number of 18!
Just so its clear, I was just simply saying that life was a bit hard for the older siblings to have their own families because they always find themselves taking care of their younger siblings.
And a final note, I have a total of 64 first cousins…family reunions are totally awesome!
How many families have we seen with only two children where the mother works a lot but does minimal “mothering”?
Or how about a family with only a handful of children who experience the death of a parent when the kids are still young? The remaining parent still struggles.
How many only-children are bitter about the fact that, being the only child in the house, they missed out on aspects of being a child and were expected to be more mature earlier on?
Bottom line: families come in all sizes. Size, in and of itself, isn’t the determining factor of anything more than how many siblings you can say you have. Parents can be great or lousey – money can be free flowing or the budget can be tight – children can be well-mannered or unruly. The not-knowing and not being able to plan for it all is called living.
Pro-life.
We don’t support what abortion YOUR kids, Lilit. Deal with it.
Amen, Sydney! We don’t support abortion because of its effects on your kids, Lilit.
Personally, I’m not sure I could handle raising nineteen children, but if the Duggars can do it, well, good for them. I’d be worried that I wouldn’t have the time to really bond with each kid on an individual level.
“How many only-children are bitter about the fact that, being the only child in the house, they missed out on aspects of being a child and were expected to be more mature earlier on?”
Some, I guess, but not me – my parents never expected me to be more mature early on and I didn’t miss out on any aspects of being a child.
Marauder, I’m certainly glad to hear that life as an only child worked out well in your case. I didn’t mean to imply that only-children routinely get the short end of the stick… just that families of all sizes have strengths and weaknesses and it’s not a direct correlation to the size of the family. My point was that we could pick any family of any size and make accusations about where the parents went wrong in having the exact number of kids they had. Life is so much more complex than family size.