Personal story: pregnant with cancer
by Bethany Kerr
Sandy is a sweet woman with 4 beautiful girls.
For 2 of the 5 years I have known her via cyberspace, Sandi experienced what she thought were problems with her thyroid. She said many times her throat became so swollen it was difficult to breathe. Doctors said it was a thyroid imbalance or asthma.
Sandi emailed me in April she had just found out she was pregnant. It was a shock, unplanned, but she was excited.
Only a few weeks later, Sandy was told devastating news. Her throat problem was very serious. Sandi had cancer.
Here is what Sandi wrote the day she got the news:
It seems fairly certain that I have Hodgkin’s disease. My doctor claims this is good news because it is treatable and very curable. He believes I’ll make a full recovery. He worried that if it was benign a major surgery would be needed because this tumor is wrapped around major veins and other important organs. This is hard to take in. I am pregnant… and I have cancer…. I don’t know what to do. I am trying to be strong. I have to be. I have to fight this and not let the sadness consume me. “
A specialist strongly recommended Sandi have a “therapeutic abortion,” saying her baby might suffer side effects like cleft lip or other anomolies. The specialist said there was not enough research to know for sure, so abortion was probably a “good idea.”…
Sandi is pro-life and refused to consider aborting. In fact, she was hurt to even have the option presented.
For the next several months, Sandi went through so much pain, including morning sickness that was made worse because she had had a couple of throat surgeries, so vomiting was worse than it would have been.
But through it all, Sandi found motivation and energy through bonding with her child. Here is a post she wrote in May:
The baby is doing good so far. She turned on the sono and oh my goodness. Immediately I saw the baby twisting and turning, wiggling and waving. I even got a sonogram pic of the baby with his/her hand up looking like he/she was waving. It was so awesome.
I haven’t let myself let go and really feel things will be ok yet but today my OB even told me she had a friend who had cancer and chemo while pregnant and things were fine. Even the baby was just fine. I’ll have to get an amnio probably and I have a sonogram every two weeks. I am high risk. I will get chemo one week and the following week I will see the OB and have a sonogram.
The baby looked great though and I could see the baby so well. It was so clear. I couldn’t believe how much the baby has grown already. Just amazing. I can’t find my favorite baby book. It’s the same kind of book as What to Expect When You’re Expecting but it’s a week by week thing. I loved that book. We moved and now it’s gone. I thought I’d let you know the baby looks great so far. It’s good news.
Sandi found a wonderful resource, Pregnant with Cancer, an organization for women diagnosed with cancer during pregnancy. Through it Sandy connected with another woman who had the same cancer and ended up delivering a perfectly healthy boy. Sandi said it really helped to have someone who could identify with her.
Over the next several months, Sandi endured chemo treatments, life flights to the hospital, tests and more tests.
What amazes me is how positive she was through it all!
Finally, a couple of weeks ago, Sandi announced to us that her little baby, Gabriella, had decided to be born!
Gabriella is here!!!!!!! She decided to make her own birthday! My water broke at about 3:45 Saturday morning. I have never broken my water before delivery before. It was so weird. I had to be life flighted again and Jason had to drive it. I got to the hospital at about 6:30 a.m. and Jason got there about 10 a.m. with my mom. He had to take the kids to my parents and then drive to the hospital… 3 hours in total driving. I got there in about 30 minutes from our local hospital. I got to see the sunrise from the helicopter. Wow! I was nervous since I was only 36 weeks and one day.
They gave me the epidural around the time my hubby got to the hospital… and good thing. My contractions were getting painful. I dilated so fast after that and she was born at 2:10 p.m. on November 17th. She is my little sweetie. We love her so much. We cried and cried when we heard her first strong little cry. She only took me 10 minutes to push out. What a sweetheart! ha ha She saw special doctors… preemie docs and NICU docs but was declared healthy enough to be in a regular nursery and even got to come home with me today. She weighed in at 6 lbs. 2.8 oz and was 18 inches long.
Sandi gave me permission to blog her story here. I would love to invite you all to visit Sandi’s blog, which has her journal of her cancer/pregnancy experience.
Sandi still has more treatments, but thankfully, she has her new little girl to encourage her and to love. And her daughters have a sweet little sister to cherish, and they know without a doubt their mother loves them so much she would go through anything for them.
Sometimes we don’t always understand why God puts us in difficult situations. We become overwhelmed by trials. But God always knows what He’s doing. Isn’t it amazing how God can make even bad situations turn out for the better for everyone, if we just follow His will and trust in His goodness?
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
awwww, what a GREAT story..and tell her she chose a fabulous name..my daughter’s name is gabriella also!!
Holy heck, I hope I look as good as her when I’m pregnant. Plus she had cancer at the same time…what a gorgeous and brave woman she is! Go her. Beat that cancer, hun!
Lyssie, I know right, she is SO pretty..and speaking of pretty..WHERE are some pics of your bf’s niece hmmm??
Hey Elizabeth,
I have a picture of my boyfriend’s nice, and her name is Abigail. :D
*niece
ohhh…she’s so sweet. I want to pinch her little cheekies!!
God is soooooooooo great! Thanks Bethany for sharing this wonderful story, and give Sandi a great big thanks, too! She is absolutely beautiful & will definately be in my prayers (wow! I can surely make praying a full-time job!)
Beautiful babies….absolutely gorgeous!
I am so envious that you guys get to hold these precious ones and I can’t…oh well! I’ll go buy a puppy! Doesn’t compare, of course, but it’s the next, best thing!
God bless!
Sandi is a great inspiration to moms everywhere! :) I am so thankful to have her as a friend. :)
Lyssie, your boyfriends niece is so cute! :)
Just in case any “StumbleUpon(ers)” read this story, I have stumbled it and hopefully even more people will read it. Great story!
Yay for Sandi… I also hope I look that beautiful when I am pregnant!
Elizabeth!! Did you watch The Hills last night???
Yeah Lyssie!! So precious!
Super. Some specialist that doc turned to be.
Maybe Sandi could go over to the gals at Shadowlands and encourage them that they can get through major medical difficulties and not kill their babies in the process.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/shadowlands4/messages/?msg=92.1
Why did ZEKE’s post disappear.
I wonder which mod deleted it.
It was me. Zeke broke the rules. I had to delete posts.
What did she do this time?
Cute babies abound!
:D
*e’splodes from teh cyoot*
@PiP: What HASN’T Zeke done? :-3
I agree with the MD who advised her to abort the pregnancy. If anything goes wrong with that pregnancy because of the chemo you (the MD) are legally responsible.
PIP, I emailed you.
Broke the rules? How so?
BTW Bethany! Welcome back! How was the time with your family?
SOMG, it is a shame that doctors are held responsible for something they cannot control. But advising and pressuring a woman to have an abortion is not pro-choice, is it?
Thanks JM, I’ll email you.
“But advising and pressuring a woman to have an abortion is not pro-choice, is it?”
Advising may be okay, as long as the doctor presents all the options to the patient. And as long as they don’t pressure the patient.
@Bethany: They always say curiosity kills the cat…what exactly did the Zekester say?
BTW, I have to say, those potato/mushroom dumplings you posted the recipe for on your blog look absolutely delicious, I think I’ll try to make some in the very near future! :D
Thank you, Rae! :) I guess I’ll email you too! lol
I am glad Sandi made the right choice for herself. I am glad you baby turned out perfect and beautiful. I just know that her little precious baby and her will have an unbreakable bond. I am close with my mother. She was advised to take medicine that would abort me. It was early in her pregnancy. She had a blood clot in her leg. She was on bed rest for weeks. At the same time she had two other kids under the age of five. I have no idea how she did it but she did.
Your mother certainly made the right choice there, JM. Just think of how many lives can and most likely will be touched by you, now that you are here….and how many would not be touched without you.
Your mother knew that you were worth the pain and suffering. You were worth it! I know that you must really have a great bond with each other, just as Gabriella will have with her mother when she learns of what Sandi went through to bring her here, safe and sound.
@Bethany: Here is a really good curry chicken recipe that I make. It’s not too spicy but really, really good:
http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipes/chicken-turkey-recipes/chandrans-chicken-curry/article.html
JM,
YES I did watch it…and it WASN’T the season finale! Did you watch the after show? (I’ll be back after I give baby her bath and put her to bed…so around 9ish) I will respond then!!
Well if Rae is going to share a recipe I am going to share one. This is called Mexican Bubble Pizza. It can be spicy depending on what kind of salsa you use. I love it… although I haven’t made it in awhile.
http://www.pillsbury.com/Recipes/ShowRecipe.aspx?rid=14570
PS: Its really easy!
Elizabeth,
Yes! I did watch the after show. I must say I am WAAAAAAAY excited. Any idea when its going to start? Did you go online and watch the preview?
Sure, you ADVISE the patient but you don’t PRESSURE the patient especially if it’s a religious issue.
You can, however, be held liable for failing to call a judge to overrule the patient’s objections, if death or long-term injury results.
You can, however, be held liable for failing to call a judge to overrule the patient’s objections, if death or long-term injury results.
Well, that’s just ridiculous. Don’t you think?
You can, however, be held liable for failing to call a judge to overrule the patient’s objections, if death or long-term injury results.
Well, that’s just ridiculous. Don’t you think?
Posted by: Bethany at December 11, 2007 7:38 PM
Yes… Yes I think it is.
@Bethany: It’s quite ridiculous. Frivolous lawsuits ought to eat fritz and DIAF. Seriously.
This is a great story, thank God she didn’t listen to that pro-death “specialist”.
Now I’m curious- what DID zeke say? :)
What a beautiful baby!
Bethany, never got the email :(
I’m glad that Sandi made it through and made the right choice for her! That was a beautiful baby, and I agree with everyone. I hope when I’m pregnant, I look as good as she does! =)
Anyway, I don’t think the doctor did anything wrong…he/she was just doing his/her job by presenting all options to the mother. How was the doctor supposed to know that Sandi was pro-life? There’s nothing wrong with giving options/suggestions as long as they aren’t pressuring the mother to follow one over another.
I too am curious as to what Zeke said. Oh, and Carrie, if you’re still out there, did SF end up replying to you?
Now, it’s time for me to study more DNA repair mechanisms. =P
@Stephanie: DNA repair mechanisms are so fun! UvrA-D! Heck yes!
What about the options for actually carrying the baby to term? Did the doctor present any of THOSE options? If he did, THEN he presented all the options, if not, then it was pressure to get her to have an abortion and wrong on the part of the doctor.
I mean I understand why they do it because of liability and all but that doesn’t make it right.
Well i’m sure they discussed her the option of carrying to term.
I guess we can’t be sure though.
“Anyway, I don’t think the doctor did anything wrong…he/she was just doing his/her job by presenting all options to the mother. How was the doctor supposed to know that Sandi was pro-life? There’s nothing wrong with giving options/suggestions as long as they aren’t pressuring the mother to follow one over another.”
Stephanie, the “specialist” strongly recommeded death for her baby. There’s nothing wrong with that? …wow, something is wrong with our society..
That’s a beautiful story.
Yeah guys, I think I am about to cry. This genetics test is going to be so hard :/
Ugh. Just kill me now.
OK now my curiosity is up… What did Zeke say or SOMG, who ever it was…
We all want to know what she said!
haha….we’re all so nosy here I love it! I wanna know too so hook it up whoever know’s!!
Stephanie, the “specialist” strongly recommeded death for her baby. There’s nothing wrong with that? …wow, something is wrong with our society..
Posted by: jasper at December 11, 2007 10:35 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She needed to know ALL of her options.
She had an obligation to herself, her husband, and the three other babies she put on this rough, rough planet.
Wenn Tugend und Gerechtigkeit
Der gro
@ Jasper: What Laura said.
@ Rae: Yep. =) Go excision repair! Get rid of those nasty mutations that result in cancer! Down with tanning salons!
Bethany I sent you an email.
Love Jess x’s &o’s
It seems fairly certain that I have Hodgkin’s disease. My doctor claims this is good news because it is treatable and very curable. He believes I’ll make a full recovery. He worried that if it was benign a major surgery would be needed because this tumor is wrapped around major veins and other important organs.
……………………………………………
Jill, you are supposedly a nurse and know the difference between benign and malignant. Explains the reason that you were fired.
Stephanie, no responses yet. I am going to send my next round of emails thursday.
SoMG,
Two can play that game.
Bueno, mi amor, si quieres empezar con los estupideces que son exclusivamente tuyos,
Harme el favor y vete de aqui, porque a la verdad tus comentarios ya me tiene harta.
Comprende?
She needed to know ALL of her options.
She had an obligation to herself, her husband, and the three other babies she put on this rough, rough planet.
Really, Laura? Death for her wanted baby was “all of her options”?
***************
PIP, I sent the email to the email you use for this blog…is that your regular email? If you don’t find it there still, click on my name on the right hand sidebar, and you can email me that way. Anyone else who would like to email me can get in touch that way as well. :-)
Also, Rae, and JM, thanks for the recipes!
*************
Jill, you are supposedly a nurse and know the difference between benign and malignant. Explains the reason that you were fired.
Sally, First, if you would read the top of the post, you would know that this post was written by me, not Jill.
Secondly, innocent errors are easily made when typing, and thank you for bringing one to my attention.
Thirdly, Jill was fired for blowing the whistle on the Christ Hospitals murderous practices, not because she wasn’t a good nurse.
********
Carder, LOL!!
I asked Sandi whether she had been presented with all of her options upfront or not. Here is her reply:
**********
“Well, when we went there, she told me yes it was Hodgkin’s, and her professional opinion was for me to have an abortion. That’s all. And then I told her that I couldn’t do that so then she discussed what we would do since I wouldn’t have the abortion. We went from there after I told her no. My treatment wasn’t any different either way.”
**********
(Emphasis mine, not Sandi’s)
SoMG, so much for choice. Instead, it’s “Cover the doctor’s ass, even at the cost of the woman’s baby.”
I’m bewildered as to how somebody can look at a beautiful baby and a joyful mom, and say, “Well, what a lovely choice, but this would have been just as good a choice.”
SoMG,
Wenn Tugend und Gerechtigkeit
Der gro?en Pfad mit Ruhm bestreut,
Dann ist die Erd ein Himmelsreich,
Und Sterbliche den G?ttern gleich!
So you’re an opera fan AND a freemason?!?
So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.
Dr. Seuss
Thirdly, Jill was fired for blowing the whistle on the Christ Hospitals murderous practices, not because she wasn’t a good nurse.
********
Wow, she should file a lawsuit.
There are federal laws that protect whistleblowers, and any tort lawyer with two brain cells to rub together would have pwned that hospital by now.
The case is certainly worth several million dollars.
Gee, it would be a really good way to punish those “baby killers,” no?
In fact, doesn’t she have a moral obligation to punish them?
Why won’t Jill punish those “baby killers?”
It isn’t about punishing them, Laura, it’s about saving babies.
And Jill did what she could to save those babies, by being behind the Born Alive Infants Protection Act, which is now signed into law.
See, Jill wasn’t in it for the money.
Christina, excellent points!
Jill, to be honest, I was also wondering why you couldn’t file a lawsuit against Christ Hospital.
Christina, it is sickening, isn’t it?
Christina, I think a lot of women who abort will never see the end result. They come to the clinic pregnant, and they leave unpregnant. That’s all. Will they suffer down the road? It’s inevitable.
Well, SOMG and carder… make that three.
Alors, je n’ai pas compris ce que vous avez dit, mais je peux dire quelque chose quand m
That baby is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, by the way. I’m in love.
See also: Abortion Unnecessary When Cancer Strikes a Pregnant Mother, an exclusive op-ed by Dr. Joel Brind at LifeNews.com.
Thank you, Steven, for that wonderful article!
JM,
Well i’m sure the discussed her the option of carrying to term.
Posted by: JM at December 11, 2007 9:28 PM
Why are you sure?
You weren’t there. Why do you think this lady is lying or misrepresenting? Just like the last lady you didn’t believe.
What does a woman have to do to get people to believe her? No wonder women don’t want to report rape!
“Well, when we went there, she told me yes it was Hodgkin’s, and her professional opinion was for me to have an abortion. That’s all. And then I told her that I couldn’t do that so then she discussed what we would do since I wouldn’t have the abortion. We went from there after I told her no. My treatment wasn’t any different either way.”
**********
(Emphasis mine, not Sandi’s)
Posted by: Bethany at December 12, 2007 7:30 AM
The sick thing about this is the way the doctor gives the impression that the abortion is necessary for her without actually saying it. Some women who might want the baby very much might go along with an abortion they really don’t want because they honestly believe it will help them live when it may make no difference to the health of either mother or baby.
The way the doctor handled it was unprofessional and an abuse of her position because she explained nothing. Simply stating her opinion is not explaining or informing the patient so the patient could make a decision.
My wife and I went through a similar experience with our 11 year old.
He is healthy, mom is healthy.
God is faithful.
Hey my friends:
I’ve been away but have not forgotten you all, even SMOG or SOMG….whoever the heck he is. Have you guys heard from that microbiology nut lately?
Hey what’s with the svengergen blobbntlakin spiel by SMOG.
MK, tell me what all that wienerschnitzel speakense means please or I won’t be impressed.
Hey I’m headed up to Park City for 8 days of skiing and snowboarding tomorrow night. Please keep me and my family in your prayers.
I’ll have my laptop and broadband card so I’ll try to catch up with everyone at night when I get bored or am recovering.
God Bless all of you (even SOMG) and have a wonderful celebration of the birth of the Savior of the World, Jesus Christ, Yeshua, Messiah, my reason for living.
His Man, yes. Somg is still here. He must adore us.
Be careful on your trip. Say hello to Ginny!