Pro-life video of the day: Daddies who win their daughters’ hearts
by LauraLoo
Via a write-up and recording by Family Life Today:
When Greg Wright realized that he didn’t have a clue who his daughter’s best friend was, he decided to do something radical to reconnect. That’s when the concept of “dating” his daughters took shape, and he’s never looked back. Greg joins another fan of daddy-daughter dates, Rob Teigen, and his wife, Joanna, to talk about the benefits and challenges of spending one-on-one time with their daughters.
With today’s busy schedules, it can be difficult for fathers to create meaningful memories with their girls. 88 Great Daddy-Daughter Dates provides dads with a wide variety of fun ideas for spending quality time with their daughters. Each date tells dads what supplies are needed, where to go, and how to grow together. Included for each date are Scriptures and questions to get the conversation flowing.
This book would make a perfect Father’s Day gift!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7drjt6PLnEI[/youtube]
To all the dads: How do you spend quality time with your daughter(s)? Is this an area in which you could improve?
Email dailyvid@jillstanek.com with your video suggestions.
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Referring to father-daughter bonding activities in such a way is creepy.
Yeah X, it creeps me out too.
So it’s been established that I’m not the only one that feels that way? Good.
The alternative is devastating. Trust me on this. An unloving, uninvolved abusive father paved the way for my self destructive behavior.
My husband has “dates” with our only daughter. I “date” our sons.
Of course you would think it is creepy.
eyeroll
Don’t call it a “date” then. Could you try being just a tad supportive of loving, involved, caring fathers who want the best for their daughters and enjoy spending quality time with them??!!
my daughter plays high level sports all year that involve lots of time in the car going to practices and competitions – that has provided many many great opportunities for good conversation over the years
although we don’t call those drives “dates” which is a stretch for me too
Well I love my daughter and spend a ton of time with her, I’m supportive of fathers who do that and I think the world would be a lot better if there were a lot more involved fathers and a lot less that abandon or abuse their kids. I think the wording just upsets me. “Dating” and “winning their hearts” sounds really creepy coming out of a sexually abusive family, to be blunt.
I am sorry you feel that way. (nothing sexual about it but I get what you are saying)
How about an “Atta Dad!!!” to all fathers making the effort to not suck?
Including yourself Jack!!! :)
As long as “purity balls” aren’t involved, involved dads are a great thing.
My husband is as involved with our children as I am. In fact, during the years when I had to work full time to float us (my husband is a priest – poorly paid), he was the one who cooked, cleaned, changed diapers and homeschooled. I think the “dating” thing sounds weird to me, but perhaps we just haven’t felt the need to do anything more than what we’re already doing.
I think it’s great that dads are trying to be more involved, and if this cute book works, I’m all for it. But the concept of “date” hits me in the same place as “quality time”. If you need to section off time to get to know your kids, you don’t need an idea book, you need to re-think everything about your day and your life choices that have gotten you in the pickle of not knowing your kid.
Thank you for this btw Laura Loo!! :)
“Getting to know them?”
Spending time and sharing experiences together grows the relationship for those that already know their children.
When you have more than 3 children it is a challenge to plan that time for one on one.
I don’t understand why a father needs a guide for “How To Relate To Female Child” and not “How To Relate To Male Child”. I don’t see the difference.
There are plenty of books on both topics. That is not what this post is about.
It is a book of ideas for daddy daughter dates which you have already deemed creepy.
How about saying something positive??
For those of us that are trying to be the best parents we can be books like this are helpful.
I guess I just don’t understand looking for books to tell you how to live your life instead of trying to think for yourself and figure things out creatively on your own.
But then again, I think “…the best parents we can be…” are mostly parents who are concerned enough to worry about what sort of parent they are, whether or not they consult books for advice as to how to go about that.
So much Condescension so little time.
It is not a book that tells you how to live your life though is it?
When you would like a book of ideas you could get a book like this and look through it and get ideas because it is a book of ideas. Not an exhaustive resource on how to do it all as a parent but a list of ideas. Cause sometimes when you don’t have it all figured out like you do, Xalisae a book of ideas is nice to have.
I hear folks talk about getting their children and pets together for “play dates.” I don’t see anything creepy or dirty about these dates either. Our society has become so saturated with sex that young people seem to find a hard time differentiating the different types of love.
I wish my daughter’s dad would make the time to take our daughter somewhere. Thank goodness a good man stepped in and showed her how men should treat daughters. If I comforted the boys or did something one on one with them, my ex would say I was raising momma’s boys. This coming from a man who thought nursing babies was dirty but wanted me to look at porn with him. Needless to say he had a very chaotic, abusive childhood with parent’s who thought they had it all figured out.
A date can be about making a conscious effort to spend time with and get to know others. Dating of the opposite sex never used to lead to hopping in the sack either. It meant getting to know someone to see if you had enough in common to make a marriage work.
I know many people who where not raised by involved parents and therefore welcome tools that help them better relate to their children and give them ideas of how to better raise them.
Carla, did you ever see the movie Courageous? If you get a chance, it creatively touches on the importance of involved dads. Someone lent it to us and we are hoping to have it played in our church.
I know many people who where not raised by involved parents and therefore welcome tools that help them better relate to their children and give them ideas of how to better raise them.
^This. And amen to everything Carla has said so far in this thread.
I did see Courageous!!
I wouldn’t mind seeing it again though!
No condescension meant. I have six, and I know it’s tough juggling it all. We are by no means perfect parents, nor do we have all the answers. An idea book IS nice, but it’s very presence, and the apparent need for it, is indicative of an overall lack, no?
“Our society has become so saturated with sex that young people seem to find a hard time differentiating the different types of love”
Yeah, I think that “dating” for my generation seems to have been turned into a shorthand for having sex with someone, that’s probably one of the reasons why I get the “creep vibe” from the term when applied to a father/daughter relationship or any other type of family relationship.
“No condescension meant. I have six, and I know it’s tough juggling it all. We are by no means perfect parents, nor do we have all the answers. An idea book IS nice, but it’s very presence, and the apparent need for it, is indicative of an overall lack, no?”
If you were raised by parents who treated you poorly or were uninvolved, it’s not like you magically know how to parent correctly. Parenting doesn’t come natural to some of us. It’s not bad to want some ideas or need some help. Maybe it is indicative of a lack, but it’s better that people are looking for help.
Sorry. The condescension comment was for Xalisae.
When one is raised in an abusive home you either continue that abuse in your own family or you get help and try to change the legacy. You seek the help you need to do things differently.
Spot on Jack.
My dad and I used to take off to eat together a couple times a year at a place nobody else liked. But the big secret I kept were the side trips to the little candy store in town that had a homemade specialty that was just between me and mom. Those moments with each parent are cherished memories. If a dad is drawing a blank on what to do, it would be a very loving gesture to gift him a book to give him ideas. If the book came from his daughter, that would be even sweeter.
I remember my dad picking me up from a friend’s party and saying, “Wanna go see a movie?”
It was a really wonderful night out, just Dad and daughter. Terming it a “date” is just light humor, but if it gives you the ‘creeps’ then re-name it. Regardless, I think every father should spend some time with his daughters, one-on-one. But then, I also think mother-son time is important, and of course mother-daughter and father-son. It’s just a lot easier (usually) for dad and son to connect or for mother and daughter, over shared behaviors, experiences, or interests. Sometimes creating the time for connection is more important than what you call it.
Isn’t that what Pinterest is? A giant online idea book?
;)
If you don’t want your children to think less of you for having a book full of concepts of what to do with them, keep it in your closet on a high shelf or something. But really, kids are forgiving of their parents. I don’t think my boys would be upset that I am not coming up with everything we ever do without looking up ideas. I certainly didn’t mind that a great number of our crafts at home came out of books. I was just glad my parents were so willing to spend the time and energy on us.
Thanks Carla for manning the fort while I was at work. Stellar job, as usual. LL <3
I’ve got no problem with dads becoming closer to their daughters, but they’ve GOT to name this something Else and never use the words date or dating !’
It is TOTALLY CREEPY !
What is creepy to me is that a GOOD thing for Dads to do……spend time with their daughters is deemed creepy.
Agree with Carla. It is a sad commentary that Daddy-Daughter date night is immediately sexualized in the minds of so many.
I don’t really see anything wrong with a collection of ideas, or with “sectioning off” time with your kids. I don’t think that the presence of a book indicates a lack of something more meaningful, either. It can be super helpful to have someone else to the tough work of thinking through whatever you might need to bring, etc, or just coming up with a fun idea you hadn’t thought of; I’m going camping for a week with a 3-year old and 7-year old and I definitely appreciate the packing and activity ideas other people have compiled. Not because I “don’t know the kids” or am “too busy to really just KNOW them implicitly” but because other people have great experiences and advice to give. And a definite YES to Pinterest basically being one huge idea book! If I’m being honest, I totally made a “camping with kids” Pinterest board, to corral all the ideas I wanted to remember for later. :D
Sometimes perfect is the enemy of good. I subscribe to a monthly kid-craft delivery called Kiwi Crate. Each month, a package comes, with two “themed” crafts (ie pets, shadows and light, making music, under the sea, etc) and every single thing you need to accomplish that craft. The crafts aren’t difficult but you know what? Sometimes, just getting all the stuff together IS. It’s really great to have a ready-made list of supplies and ideas, so that when we have 45 minutes we can just be like, “Hey, let’s do this!” without me needing to check the popsicle-stick supply, how many leftover toilet paper tubes we currently have, where the paintbrushes last got to, if the glue was left open and dried out, etc. Is it the MOST CREATIVE way to be crafty and creative? No. Is it the way we are MOST LIKELY to work some hands-on crafty, creative stuff into our normal schedules? Yes. It is not perfect, but it is good.
That’s what this whole discussion seems like to me. “It would be better if you didn’t NEED to schedule ‘dates’ with your kids, and didn’t need someone to suggest some fun activities.” Okay. Well, that’s not the demographic most likely to consider buying this book.
I implicitly get shy and uncomfortable at the phrase “dating your daughter” but I think that in some ways it is a very apt word, because I think in our culture we put so much effort into “dating:” as a way of getting to know someone, as a way of having fun with someone, etc. We schedule dates, dress for them, plan for them; anticipate them. And yet, too often, we DON’T do these things for or with the people we truly love. They’re just “there,” all the time. I am more comfortable in this context with “date” as a noun than as a verb, but either way I appreciate the idea of re-framing the existing, unconditional relationships as being given as much effort and importance as the potential, conditional relationships that make up the world of “dating.”
My parents and I used to go on “lunch dates” when I was a kid. Sometimes I would go with my mom, and sometimes with my dad. I performed with a professional ballet company for a good chunk of my adolescence, and so on Saturdays, between my matinee and evening shows, we would make a date. Which was a big deal, because my parents definitely did not watch my shows – usually I would commute to and from the city with my dad, who had shows of his own (as a stagehand), so that meant that both of them, on their given days, specifically made time to come to my theater in the middle of a busy Saturday, and have lunch with me. We’d pick a restaurant, and take the subway over there after my show, and walk around the different neighborhood before or after the meal, just talking, catching up. At those ages I still spent a lot of time with my mom and dad, by necessity, so the lunch dates weren’t about “finding time;” but a lot of that time that we spent together was utilitarian: doing my homework in the car while they drove me home, eating my cereal while my mom brushed my younger sister’s hair and my dad sipped his coffee in a brief moment of silence. Some of it was pleasant “quality time:” watching a movie as a family, going to Girl Scout meetings (my mom was my troop leader), going to Sunday School (my dad was big on it and I always loved seeing him in nice clothes). We had plenty of time together; but we did not have plenty of time ALONE together, to devote just to being alone together. Those lunch dates were great. My mom and I still grab lunch nearly once a week – these days it is me making time for her, more than her making time for me – but I can say that lunch dates with my parents have been one of the greatest things in my entire life, as both a kid and an adult.
Well, that comment got longer than I thought it did. :/
Great long post, Alexandra!
My daughter took dance classes also. At the recitals many parents, including single dads, give their daughters flowers after the recitals.
One area dance program also does a last dance at their recitals with the senior girls who have aged out of the program. Their dads/dad-figures wear a suit to the program and then come out of the audience and go up on stage and waltz with their teenage daughter who have changed out of their dance outfits into long ballroom/prom dresses. It is very sweet and touching.
I don’t like to refer to it as dating, but I think it’s a great idea for fathers to set aside quality time with their daughters. I did this and, sometimes in spite of me, I think that’s one big reason why our daughters have turned out so well. And of course the grace of God.
I must be getting old because I didn’t see anything wrong with the word “dating.”
Anyway, thanks for thinking of us Fathers Laura. I think I will pass this video of this book onto my brother.