Pro-life vid of day: 11-y.o. girl flees to avoid forced marriage
by LauraLoo
Nada Al-Ahdal, an immensely smart and courageous 11-year-old Yemeni girl, is an inspiration to me.
Sometimes common sense screams “Run!” and you just cannot obey your parents when they don’t have your best interest at heart. Case in point: Nada’s mom wants to marry her off to a much older man. God bless her uncle who is willing to care for his niece!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J7_TKgw1To[/youtube]
This is tragic on so many levels. When I was 11, my life consisted of getting good grades in school, keeping my room clean, helping my mom around the house and playing with my best friend. I didn’t have adult worries, like my mom marrying me off to a pedophile.
Who cannot shed a tear for this young soul, who would rather kill herself than lose her dreams for a normal childhood?
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Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
What an awesome, strong kid, being able to go against her culture and how she was raised to make her own decisions. I have nothing but admiration for her and kids like her.
I agree Jack.
Parents are to protect their children and to protect their innocence. My husband and I took this job very seriously.
BTW what nasty, grown man wants a 11 year old child, I don’t care if it is “cultural”. This crap makes me so angry. There is something sick about any adult (that goes for male or female) wanting to have sex with a child (pre-puberty or post-puberty), this makes me sick to my stomach. There are plenty of grown-up adults willing to have sex with anyone. That is why I watched my children (they are adults now) like a hawk and did not entrust them to the care of anyone I did not know and trust completely (close family and close friends), it was just not worth the risk. I had a neighbor who let her son stay over-night with a man her husband met at his job (they knew very little about this man her husband had him over to watch videos), you can guess the conclusion of the story. It was tragic! It still makes me angry today to think about it.
I don’t think the pedophilia is cultural, I really don’t. I don’t think that men with normal sex drives would all of a sudden be attracted to children if it was suddenly “okay” according to society. I do think the legitimacy the culture gives these people just lets the men who are sick like that operate in the open. It’s really disgusting. It’s like those “Dancing boys of Afghanistan”, where they have little boys for their sexual pleasure. I don’t think there are more pedophiles, they’re just allowed to operate in the open.
This girl is AWESOME.
I just feel so sorry she opens the video with, “Saalam Alaikum. Allah’s mercy and blessings upon you…”
“The Prophet of Allah, Muhammad”-that cad married a girl that was NINE YEARS OLD. HE is the one who set you up for this, and there you are with blessings of “Allah”. Poor, sweet child…Please educate yourself and think hard about this issue. It’s not just your family trying to shackle you in this manner. It’s the entire culture of your people with their “Muhammad” and “Allah” as the driving force that BRUTALIZES women and children, and exalts men as our masters and betters. THROW IT OFF! Shake it off as you have the insanity of your family!
Continue to be strong, sweet girl.
I think she at least has the beginning of understanding that it’s a cultural thing, not just her family. She mentions other children being forced into these “marriages” as well. I think given some time to grow up and research she’ll become one of those feminist Arabic women that fight against the ingrained patriarchy and misogyny in Islam and Arabic culture at large.
I do wonder about her aunt that she mentioned, the one who set herself on fire to escape her forced “marriage”. That sounds like a murder to me, more than a suicide. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the family and government had covered it up as a suicide to protect the “husband” of the 14-year-old who had killed her in such a manner.
Usually when we see children from the Arab world, they’re parroting the hatred of the adults. It’s nice to see such an intelligent, feisty girl.
May she go for an education and be a force to counter the poisonous culture she escaped.
I’m so happy for this little girl and amazed this story is on this site. Other stories have glorified children of similar age who were raped giving birth in spite of any trauma that may come to them. I am just relieved that this little girl-yes, little girl-got away before she was forced to marry, get pregnant and carry a child to term in spite of the trauma a rape and forced pregnancy caused her that was then glorified as “pro-life.” Pro-life people need to focus more on the the born girls who are forced to suffer through rape, forced marriage and pregnancy rather than those that are 2 day post conception.
This site has done multiple stories on issues such as child brides, gang violence in Chicago, and other issues that aren’t necessarily about abortion.
And there’s zero reason people can’t care about more than one issue at a time. You can care about little girls (and even little boys!) in abusive situations and cultures and still care about the unborn.
Admiring that girl who kept her baby conceived in rape and is helping other people after her horrifying experiences for her strength isn’t “glorifying” the situation, btw. Do you think people should have shamed her and hidden her story away? She can’t speak about her experiences? Ridiculous.
No child should be shamed for being a victim of sexual abuse! Ever! I just don’t think that glorifying a birth at all costs should be portrayed as positive. There is an (I think) 11 year-old in Chile who is currently being forced to carry the child of her mother’s live in boyfriend and abortion is not an option. This will show up on pro-life sites as something to be praised when the child who is being forced to give birth may be left blind and with various other medical conditions. I do not consider forcing a child to carry the product of rape pro-life. It is cruel and inhumane. The most inhumane is the man who rapes the child but the people who force a child to carry out a pregnancy are also cruel. Of course people can care about multiple issues. I just happen to care more about the girls who are already born than the ones who were conceived 2 hours ago to another child who was raped. And of course little boys can and are raped. It is vastly under-reported and little boys are often shamed even more than little girls. However, they will never be tortured with a forced pregnancy (not that it makes their trauma any less).
No, you think that a girl who was impregnated at thirteen by her nasty stepfather shouldn’t be allowed to share her perspective on carrying that child to term, apparently, because that’s the story you’re upset about. That was her story, that she chose to share. It’s not glorifying to give her a voice. You probably don’t have an issue with people telling their abortion stories after rape at a young age (which, that’s their choice and they deserve a voice too), but you seem to consider it “glorifying” if a girl who chooses differently gets any type of attention and positivity. That’s shaming, right there, to deny her that story. She shouldn’t have to be quiet about the healing she found in that situation because you find it uncomfortable. I’m not trying to be rude to you, but you’re literally complaining that this woman shared her experiences about being raped at a young age and carrying to term, that’s shaming to me.
The girl in Chile is a really tough situation, she seems to be happy about the thought of being a mother but she is really young and there are some reports of serious health concerns. But do you think she should be aborted against her will then (of course, barring serious medical complications, which concern for her life needs to take precedence)?
“And of course little boys can and are raped. It is vastly under-reported and little boys are often shamed even more than little girls. However, they will never be tortured with a forced pregnancy (not that it makes their trauma any less).”
Yes, boys won’t ever carry a pregnancy to term. But I know quite well the trauma isn’t less so we agree there.
Jack,
First, we do agree that boys suffer just a great of a trauma. There is no doubt in my mind there. That is wrong, evil and people who rape little boys are disgusting.
If a girl (and anybody who is 11, 12, 13 is a girl) chooses to share her story then that is their business and they have a right to share it, whether it ends in termination, miscarriage or birth. Their trauma is their own to deal with as they see fit be it public or private. Where the “glorifying” comes in is when girls are forced, by governments, by parents or by others to carry to term regardless of what it does to their poor bodies and is bandied about as “look how pro-life they are” when in fact, they may not have made that choice if they were not forced. If I read an article of the girl telling her story all I think is that she made the best choice for her, even if I didn’t think it was wise, but she got to make it then I am happy. Many pro-life outlets don’t even allow the victim a quote, they are too busy crowing over the fact that some poor child gave birth when in fact the child had no choice. The one I am thinking specifically was a child in Mexico last year who gave birth and nobody even quoted her or allowed her to tell her story. It was just all about how glorious it was she gave birth after the rape. It may have been her stepdad who was the culprit, I can’t remember. I have yet to see one story where the victim expressed happiness at being forced to give birth as a result of rape as a young child. I may have missed one and if I did I apologize. Mostly though, I feel badly for kids who are abused. They already have so many choices taken away from them and often have to process emotions they can’t understand. To put a child’s emotional and physical health at risk over an embryo is just not something I can stomach. A child is being tortured for 9 months and probably long after that with the negative health consequences of a pregnancy at that age. And yes, there are plenty of ways to end the rape without forcing a child to deliver a child. For one thing, people could believe the victim without forcing her to go through childbirth. Just so I am not sexist, we should of course believe male victims of sexual abuse as well.
I apologize Jack, I did not answer your question about whether or not the child in Chile should be forced to abort. My personal opinion is that nobody should be forced to abort or to carry to term, even if they are quite young. Reproductive choices tend to carry their own set of rules in some ways. I don’t think an 11 year-old should be allowed to walk around with a broken arm that can be treated. I believe a parent or guardian should step in and use their common sense to get the child treated. In the Chile case, the child has already been violated and forced into an adult situation way too early. If she can choose to carry then she should be allowed to choose to terminate. She is the one who will ultimately suffer the bodily harm. It is just a shame the child was violated and it wasn’t stopped before a pregnancy.
Tenn,
My apologies, I mixed you up with another commenter who was extremely upset with a story written by a woman who chose to carry to term at 13 after years of sexual abuse from her stepfather. This person was… extremely offensive. So I might have been a bit rude to you thinking you were that commenter, so I apologize.
I think a lot of what you see as “crowing” is people relieved that both the rape victim and child made it through the pregnancy alive and as healthy as possible. No one wants children to get pregnant. The very thought is sick. No one should be having sex with kids of any age or gender. But, there’s nothing wrong and it’s not “glorifying” pregnancy by rape to be relieved that a child’s rape was found out and that her and the baby conceived by the rape are now safe (hopefully, in a lot of these cases the child is removed from the abuser which is good). And I really don’t think you’ll find a pro-lifer who would advocate a child having a to carry a baby to term if it was going to maim or harm her health permanently, and if you do point me there so I can tell them what I think about their “pro-life” ethics.
And of course I don’t think children should have to be pregnant to be helped out of an abusive situation! No rational, compassionate person should think something like that! Where are you getting this? Children should always be believed. I was victimized by rape and molestation literally all my childhood and adolescence, and obviously pregnancy was never going to happen so someone should have listened to me. But the sad fact of the matter is a lot of kids don’t come forward or the abuse isn’t found out until something like an STD or a pregnancy, or another visible sign of abuse occurs. We can work on prevention as much as possible and getting to kids before these things happen, but that doesn’t mean that abortion should be pushed on those who fall through the cracks.
Well of course the girl in Chile should have been saved before a pregnancy happened, but unfortunately her mother participated in the abuse by calling it “consensual”, so it took a grandmother noticing the pregnancy to do anything about it. That’s a tragedy, it should have been prevented in the first place or stopped long before any pregnancy occurred. I’ll never disagree that it’s better to stop the abuse before a pregnancy occurs. But unfortunately it didn’t happen in that case. So this girl is currently expressing a desire to keep the pregnancy, she’s excited about the baby. I think a “parent or guardian” (and remember her mother knowingly allowed the rapes to continue) would cause a lot of damage by making the decision for her to abort.
Praying for this little girl!!
SUCH A FIGHTER!!
Jack, you owe me no apologies. I worked for over four year doing medical exams on children who had been sexually abused. I was shocked at the number of male victims but I have since made it a point to educate others that male children can be victims just as easily as female victims. I applaud you for moving on with your life and hope you have a happy one. As an adult female victim of rape, I can tell you that nothing would have been more unbearable to me than to have to carry a child of rape. Luckily for me, Plan B was available and my cycle was such that I did not get pregnant. Had I found myself pregnant, I would have used every legal means, then illegal means and finally I would have committed suicide before I would have been forced by the government, a doctor or any other person to give birth. There would have been no birth. I would have been dead along with embryo. I say this 10 years after the event.
During the years I worked with sexual abuse victims, I saw many so-called pro-life people shame the victim for trying to deal with situation as best as she could. I can’t say more without violating patient privacy. I will leave it by saying that every person who is so certain about whether or not abortion is OK should have to look in to the eyes of a 9 year old to tell her she is pregnant or has an STI. Until then, they have not right to judge. As for me, I will continue to fight for born children male and female before I worry about zygotes and embryos that feel no pain.
I would like to point out in reference to a comment about this practice being a Muslim one – it is not exclusively so. It is also common in India and other countries across the world – both the practice of forced marriage and child brides. There is also a distorted view of both women’s sexuality in these cultures and honor.
As Westerners, we need to support Third World women as they seek true emancipation.