Pro-life video of the day: Dealing with blended families
by LauraLoo
Meet Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge, authors of the book The Smart Stepmom, who were recently interviewed on Family Life Today. They offer helpful suggestions on how to deal with blended families:
Day 1: The challenges unique to a being a stepmother
Day 2: Avoiding Cinderella stepmother mistakes
Day 3: Father’s support is crucial to success
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsBF2ygQXtI[/youtube]
Email dailyvid@jillstanek.com with your video suggestions.
Jul.05, 2013 12:00 pm |
Video of the day |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Why are we supporting people living in sin in second marriages (barring death of the first spouse)? This should be looked at like homosexual families.
“Why are we supporting people living in sin in second marriages (barring death of the first spouse)? This should be looked at like homosexual families.”
Here we go again…
Sorry JDC. If people are going to be fine with certain populations being miserable and lifelong celibates and lacking in intimacy because of their morals, they need to fairly apply it to everyone. Otherwise it’s just hypocrisy and I’m willing to point it out every time.
“Sorry JDC. If people are going to be fine with certain populations being miserable and lifelong celibates and lacking in intimacy because of their morals, they need to fairly apply it to everyone. Otherwise it’s just hypocrisy and I’m willing to point it out every time.”
OK, cool. Have fun. :)
Jack, as a born-again Christian for over 20 years, from a Biblical viewpoint I agree with you. Unless the Christian’s spouse passes away or committed sexual immorality on them, that spouse needs to remain separated or reconcile with the cheating spouse. Otherwise, that spouse commits adultery as well.
We live in a sin-sick world so there are many “experts” out there (like Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge) who are trying to help struggling families or those in crisis. Better to help them than to have another divorce and more carnage, especially when there are children involved.
Finally, some people (despite being Christians) do not follow Christ’s teachings and get remarried anyway, outside of His will. As for me, I am divorced and do not believe I have Biblical grounds to remarry. It’s not only very difficult to accept but hard to go the distance. Overall, a very complicated issue, especially with fallen humanity.
LL
“Jack, as a born-again Christian for over 20 years, from a Biblical viewpoint I agree with you. Unless the Christian’s spouse passes away or committed sexual immorality on them, that spouse needs to remain separated or reconcile with the cheating spouse. Otherwise, that spouse commits adultery as well.”
Yes, that’s the way I understand it.
“We live in a sin-sick world so there are many “experts” out there (like Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge) who are trying to help struggling families or those in crisis. Better to help them than to have another divorce and more carnage, especially when there are children involved.”
They can’t really get “divorced” because their marriage is no more legitimate than a homosexual marriage. They are living in sin with their second spouse (of course, barring death of the first spouse or adultery by the first spouse in some traditions). As far as I can tell, the only moral thing for people to do is to leave the second “spouse” and return to their first spouse, or be celibate. Like I said, they should be treated like homosexual marriages where people are living in sin, if we’re being consistent and not just picking on LGBT people. I don’t see any Christian educators supporting gay families to lessen the effects of sin, it all seems to be “this relationship needs to end now, it’s immoral and wrong”. I see no Biblical justification for treating second marriages (except for those legitimate instances where people get divorced) differently. Otherwise, it’s just hypocrisy.
I do respect you for abiding by the morals that you think are correct though. That’s admirable.
Thanks Jack.
Recently I had a man fall in love with me and it was so hard to let go of this soul tie. I reserved him for “friendship only” and he knew that all along, yet he allowed his feelings to go beyond what they should have.
It is hard to be disqualified for remarriage, but the good news is that Christ is my spiritual husband. I do not walk alone! I try my best to make Him the head of my home..and at home in my heart.
LL :)
Interesting videos.
Also, from a Biblical perspective if a non-believing spouse walks away from a marriage with a Christian spouse (NOT if a Christian spouse walks away from the marriage, the Christian is supposed to remain in the marriage of their volition) then the Christian is free to remarry. (1 Cor 7:15 specifically)
I agree, however, that most 2nd (3rd etc) marriages are not properly sanctified from a Biblical perspective. I’ve known more than one couple who had married in their younger years, gotten divorced and remarried and subsequently divorced again, and through those trials came to know Christ and returned to the bride (groom) of their youth to live happily in Christian marriage for the ‘long term’. (I’d say ‘for life’ but none of them have died yet so, you know, but some for 20+ years).
I’m sorry for people who imagine they’ve done something wrong and deny themselves happiness and companionship for that reason.
People can be widowed/widowers; there can be parents who were never married, there can be people who had to leave the first marriage because of infidelity, abuse, addiction issues or a spouse’s involvement in crime. A parent could actually have a moral obligation to leave a situation where the children or themselves were in danger. You don’t know. It is what it is. Your disapproval isn’t going to make remarriage and step-parenting issues go away. So it’s good that there are those trying to help.
Hi Xalisae. How are you? I think of you and pray for you often.
I know you are coming from a non-believer mindset but you don’t need to “feel sorry” for Christ-followers who follow the Biblical standard . They don’t “imagine they’ve done something wrong” they are to know and follow the Biblical standard Jesus set in Matthew 5:31-32 “It has been said ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce’. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery” they follow out of love and devotion for their Lord and Savior. His grace is sufficient to provide happiness and companionship. Jesus said anyone who gives up houses, land, or family for his sake will indeed be rewarded if not in this life, the life to come.
I know that may seem like “pie in the sky” ideas but it is God’s truth although it seems hard bacause he knows when we don’t follow his standard we mess things up and cause so much pain to ourselves and to others, especially to innocent children .
Jack I do see your point about hypocrisy among so-called Christians with multiple marriages who “go after” homosexuals for not following Biblical standards when they are not following the standards themselves. But take it from an old person married many years that the Biblical standard can be followed for purity and fidelity, it is a lot of work but well worth it.
The divorce rate is ridiculously high. The research (I think from Barna) shows that married people who worship frequently together, acitively practice their faith, pray together and are open to having children have a significantly lower divorce rate around 35% compared to the 50% rate of nominal Christians who do not actively practice their faith together. Research stills show among teens for the last 20-30 years that over 90% “feel having a good, stable marriage and family life is VERY important to them” so even if many have never seen a healthy, stable marriage they still want one but just don’t know if it is possible. I can telll you it is still possible but the “sexual revolution” and ”free love” brought in by my generation has done nothing but “steal, kill and destroy” families it has not liberated anyone just destoyed more people (emotionally and physically) especially unborn babies. I am sorry so many like you have not seen or experienced healthy marriages.
Well put, Prolifer L.
I knew xalisae’s sweet comment came from a nonbeliever’s point of view. If I were a nonbeliever too, I would feel the same, that I had the license and the liberty to pursue happiness as long as I was not into married/separated men.
LL <3
It just doesn’t seem fair to me. But a lot of things about religion didn’t.
Marriage is – or should be – a very big deal with Christians. In the secular world it may just be “a piece of paper” like a diploma handed out after a few years of sex.
But going by the Bible it is a contract – a Covenant – that reflects the relationship between Humanity and God. It’s no coincidence that Mankind’s straying is pictured as infidelity.
In the secular world it may just be “a piece of paper” like a diploma handed out after a few years of sex.
Not from my experience. It’s more than that. But a failed marriage shouldn’t rule you out for a successful marriage your whole life. In my opinion, of course. And a prior failed marriage doesn’t necessarily remove legitimacy from any subsequent marriages. In my opinion, again.
Yeah, I’m not all that sure about the “one and only one” that’s meant for you. Many have been widowed and married again successfully.
If only people would make sure that first walk down the aisle was the right one. I doubt people really change much from who they were. It would be helpful to REALLY know each other first.
Hi Laura Loo. Thank you. Like others I have family and good friends who have gone through the pain of divorce and separation. I have seen the damage done by adultery (some could never trust again), physical abuse (if someone says “I’m going to kill you” I say believe them- I know someone who almost died), sexual abuse and outright abandonment, I believe these meet the Biblical standard. I have mentioned before that I have a friend whose ex gave her the ultimatim “abort or you’re out on the street”-thank God she chose life, this was the only child she could ever have although she later remarried a wonderful man). I have seen God heal people from these horrible situations some started over but consequences still remain and divorce does not solve problems it brings new problems as well. That is why I believe God hates “divorce” NOT divorced people (he loves them). I am so glad he is the God of restoration.