Pro-life vid of day: Reunited brothers have “the strongest bond”
by Hans Johnson
Isaac Nolting, 12, often played at the pool in Washington, Missouri, when it was remarked how much he looked and acted like 13-year-old Dakotah Zimmer, who was a friend of a friend. That night, Isaac asked his mother Dawn if he had a brother. Through many tears, she admitted that he was adopted and did have a brother. She had been planning on telling him soon because they were set to attend the same school.
She met his teenaged biological mother when he was a newborn, overwhelmed already with the one-year-old Dakotah. Dawn offered to take him in, and when months later his mother became pregnant with the boys’ sister Ashley, the adoption became finalized.
When both the biological parents died, Isaac’s older brother and younger sister were raised by grandmother Debi Bay. Having lived only twenty minutes apart, the siblings are now closer than ever.
See the story on NBC’s Today:
[youtube]https://youtu.be/t-I_nVcqf7k[/youtube]
Email dailyvid@jillstanek.com with your video suggestions.
[HT: Kelli]
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
I am glad the boys were reunited.
As an adoptee, I can tell you that it is an injustice to wait until the child is older to explain to him/her that he/she is adopted.
I would imagine that it is extremely difficult to know how to handle the nuances of adoption as a parent. I am sure that Isaac’s adoptive mother was trying to avoid making him feel illegitimate in any way. This is why feedback from those who were adopted as babies can be so valuable.
I have no idea Isaac’s mother’s motivations for waiting. However, the only way to make a child feel illegitimate is to treat him/her like he/she is different or an outcast. While the child came into your family legally instead of biologically, treat that fact as normal as possible.
Generally speaking the longer you keep the information a secret, the harder it is to speak about it and accept. Some adoptees who were told when they were older felt like they had been lied to. Some could sense they were not like their parents. By keeping it a secret, you are in essence saying there is something shameful about being adopted. You are not protecting the child.
I’ve met adoptees who were the last to know. The school, doctors, counselors, etc. knew yet were all keeping the secret. I can’t imagine being the last to know something as important as that about myself. In one case a five year old biracial child was being raised by her white grandmother, and the grandma did not want her to know she was adopted. Come on, now, the kid is going to know.
I’ve met adoptees who found out when their parents died and were going through their personal papers. It was devastating. Plus, it is better to find out directly from your parents than the neighbor kids.
A young child may not fully understand what the word adopted means or its impact. He or she will however become comfortable with it and develop that comprehension.
Anyway, I am happy for these brothers and their bond.