Caitlin M. is a homeschooled high school senior taking a film class at a local university. Caitlin found a letter from a post-abortive mother online and decided to make a movie about it.
“Since the media is so influential, my goal is to one day produce Hollywood films with a pro-life message,” Caitlin wrote me in an email. She’s well on her way. This is so sad and touching…
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWeAWguORyo[/youtube]
Violations will be deleted and you may be banned.
Threats will be immediately reported to authorities.
Following these rules will make everyone's experience visiting JillStanek.com better.
Our volunteer moderators make prudent judgment calls to provide an open forum to discuss these issues. They reserve the right to remove any comment for any reason. Jill's decisions on such moderations are final.
Go to gravatar.com to create your avatar.
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Oh my heart.
The pain is real and never leaves.
I’m sorry, Carla… :(
Thank you, Jill.
I am glad you put this up.
It refutes the lie that abortion hurts no one.
Painful to hear. Heart-breaking. :(
Thank you Jill for posting this. A powerful compelling reminder of who suffers from this abortion nightmare. If only the politicians would watch and listen….If only the media….If only…
Oh, mercy. Words don’t really serve well, here. God help and heal her (and you, Carla!), and God prosper the work of this brave young lady!
I’m terribly sorry she regrets her decision and hope she receives non-judgmental compassion to heal but I know MANY women who do NOT regret their decision to abort. My friend Jessica aborted in HS and has gone on to live a wonderful life with two children, a husband and a fabulous career.
Praise be to God the pain can leave…God is merciful and heals
You never forget, but who would want to forget their child…
Remembering is not the same as not healing
Praise God for His mercy, especially in this Thanksgiving Season!
This video is great to show the pain of abortion, but I wish she would have included some healing resources for those who have had an abortion and are suffering….
Lord, bringing healing and redemption to the young mom who wrote this letter … lead her to post-abortion recovery classes that can bring “beauty for ashes.”
I, too wish resources had been included at the end.
So powerful … so real. Those who do not feel the pain have stuffed or denied their feelings. Should they get in touch with the truth of killing a child within their womb, it would hurt too badly.
Praise God for His healing power! There is no one else who can bring healing than our Maker.
Beautiful, moving and professionally done. This girl will go far! Let’s pray for more pro-life filmmakers to get the message out there.
There is a strong but subtle pro-life theme in my upcoming film on St. Elizabeth of Hungary,who did an enormous amount to care for poor mothers and their children and founded hospitals for the poor. I believe after almost 5 years of work it will finally be done by Christmas. If anyone is interested, I’ll post more later, but you can read about it on my blog (whole category of entries).
http://www.pilgrimage.subcreators.com
That’s so so sad.
HS and has gone on to live a wonderful life with two children, a husband and a fabulous career.
You mean with three children, two living. And she could’ve had all that without killing her first child. I’m getting married to the most wonderful man next year, going back to college to finish my degree, and I had my first child under crisis circumstances. This is a lie told to soothe consciences, and once she understands that she didn’t HAVE to have her first child killed to have all of this, her healing can begin as well, Beth.
We really don’t know the silent pain that women might bear after aborting their child. Who can see into their soul or hear their silent thoughts or what ifs? Anyone can look like they have it all together on the outside and be falling apart on the inside. A child dies in abortion and THAT is the pain whether a woman wants to face it or not.
If you are in need of abortion recovery please call
The National Helpline for Abortion Recovery
1-866-482-LIFE
or find a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat near you
http://www.rachelsvineyard.org
I often wonder why whenever there is mention of the real pain that women go through after abortion someone is quick(too quick)to point out the women that don’t regret it. As though to cancel out the very real pain that “many” women feel.
Focus.
Um. Focus on this woman. The woman that wrote the letter. She is in pain. She is thinking about the baby that she paid someone to kill. She is hurting.
And that is a very good thing as that pain can lead to healing. You can heal. You are not alone.
The denial of the very existence of the child that was living and then died is not healthy. No matter what kind of car you drive, the home you live in or the fabulous husband and career.
Oh and whenever I DON’T regret something I don’t bring it up over and over and over and over and over that I DON’T regret it. If I don’t regret something, I don’t talk about it.
That’s why I’m so grateful that you are an active online member of Jill Stanek.com, Carla
I kept it together till the very end. Wow. Such a powerful video.
Maybe many women don’t regret their abortions. That means abortion doesn’t kill a baby? That means that other women aren’t really hurt and haunted by their abortions?
I have friends who to this day say they are pro-choice yet will readily admit that their abortions hurt them, that they think about their dead children often, that later pregnancies were hard because of the guilt they felt over their abortions, that they drank and had promiscuous sex to try to numb the intense hate they felt for themselves and the pain that was eating at their soul. That abortion may not hurt some women now means it doesn’t hurt ANY women, Beth? That abortion may not hurt some women means it didn’t kill a defenseless human being?
No, xalisae, she has gone on to have two children. Period. She doesn’t grieve over her abortion, or what COULD HAVE BEEN had she continued her pregnancy. She did however suffer from severe postpartum depression after both births.
She’s simply in a great point in her life and doesn’t have any regrets. I know it’s rather difficult for people such as yourself to comprehend, but women are fully capable of making informed decisions. We never know what we’ll regret – I have friends who regret their pregnancies. Are they bad people? Absolutely not. People make choices and they live with the consequences if there are any.
You need to stop making assumptions about people you don’t know. My friend requires NO HEALING because she doesn’t feel as if she suffered a loss. Telling women they SHOULD feel a certain way about something facilitates GUILT and SHAME and can cause negative emotional turmoil.
Oh, and congrats on the marriage!
Sydney,
People make decisions and just because SOME people MAY regret their decision is no reason to make something illegal. I have MANY friends who have had abortions – some have had regrets and moved on, others have had absolutely NO regrets. Should we support women who regret their abortions? Absolutely! But does that entail shaming them and calling them murderers? No, it doesn’t.
Does abortion kill a defenseless human being? It removes a z/e/f from a person who doesn’t consent to sharing her body. If you have an issue with the methodology of abortion, I suggest you consult the medical community to develop a method of removing the z/e/f from a woman’s uterus and transplanting it into an artificial environment where it can reach term.
Until this technology is invented, abortion will always exist. No one is obligated to share their body with anyone else and shaming women won’t eradicate that right.
Carla,
Women who don’t regret their abortions are FORCED to talk about their experiences because of people like you. Stop propagating the myth that ALL women suffer after an abortion and women like me will stop pointing out your falsehoods.
Caitlin appears to have real talent. She obviously has good skills for making fictional propaganda films. Maybe she’ll go on to make entertaining fictional films in the general film industry.
It was rather obvious.
I’m sorry, but did someone comment here to tell us how not to tell people how to feel? Hypocrisy much? Don’t tell ME how to feel. You dismiss your friend’s post-partum depression as being completely unrelated to her previous abortion. Good for you, what a great rationale to keep murdering innocent developing children.
I read on a British website recently: “don’t have the baby just to avoid a bit of guilt.”
Women who don’t regret their abortions are FORCED to talk about their experiences because of people like you.
Your more than a bit confused, Beth. Women have a CHOICE to kill their unborn child in this country but they cannot be FORCED to talk about it.
I’m so glad for and proud of the brave, honest women like Carla and The Letter writer who are God’s instruments and who will turn around the atrocity of legal abortion in our country.
Choose to be on the right side of history, Beth.
PS: the lady doth protest too much. -the Bard
Thanks for posting this video. Very sad, but an important reminder of how damaging abortion is to women. Caitlin did a very good job on it.
Beth,
People make decisions and just because SOME people MAY regret their decision is no reason to make something illegal.
You’re missing the point. Abortion ends the life of an innocent human being. That, and that alone, is an excellent reason for outlawing it.
But does that entail shaming them and calling them murderers?
Nobody here is “shaming” women. I’ve seen nothing but compassion on this blog for women who regret their abortions.
I know it’s rather difficult for people such as yourself to comprehend, but women are fully capable of making informed decisions.
I know it’s rather difficult for people such as yourself to comprehend, but the decision to have an abortion is not always an informed one. Abortion clinics have been known to be dishonest about facts pertaining to human development.
Women who don’t regret their abortions are FORCED to talk about their experiences because of people like you.
Bull. Nobody is “forcing” them to talk about anything. But, perhaps their consciences are.
Stop propagating the myth that ALL women suffer after an abortion and women like me will stop pointing out your falsehoods.
I don’t see any “falsehoods” or “myths” in any of Carla’s comments.
What about the pro-abortion myth that NOBODY suffers after an abortion? Or, if they do, it’s all because of those nasty pro-lifers?
Beth, do tell, I’m all ears: who forced you to come on this website?
Her seeming sense of denial reminds me of a time when I was a teen and babysitting my neighbor’s toddler. She was having a rip-roaring tantrum over something and I tried to calm her down. With her face all red, her little fists raised, she shrieked, “I AM BEIN’ HAAAAAVE!!!” Lol!
Guys, Beth was FORCED to come here. Forced. Can’t you all see the falsehoods of Carla’s statement? Carla has always only ever said that she regrets her abortion. Well, Beth is gonna call that lie out into the light! Man, Beth, you know Carla better than she knows herself I guess. Good for you. How misogynistic. Telling other women how to feel.
Maybe your friend deep down does regret her abortion but can’t tell you because you say “It was for the best” or “It was JUST an embryo” (Do you say that to your friends who miscarry a wanted baby? how compassionate of you.) I have a friend who wanted to talk about how her abortion made her feel but all her pro-choice friends told her “There was NO WAY you could have been a mom” which made her feel like crap, and “You were only a few months pregnant. What are you still crying over a fetus for?”
Question Beth, do you have any children? Just curious. I have one son and am pregnant with my second son. I fell in-love with both my children the moment I found out they existed. With this second baby I remember watching the second line appear on the pregnancy test. I was shocked and yet it was this overwhelming feeling that a new life was growing in my womb and that we had a new member in our family! Mothers bond with their children and abortion interrupts that. Of course many women will feel relief initially after an abortion but I have seen it time and time again, through the years as other pregnancies come and their children grow… that sadness that won’t go away. That regret, the “What if?” that pierces their heart.
And btw, we’ve been through biology time and time again on this thread. Sorry you’re late to the party. My biology textbook IN COLLEGE clearly stated “Human life begins at conception.” Scientists are not confused about when human life begins. Zygote and embryo are STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT in a life cycle. Since humans only reproduce after their own kind we know that the embryo growing in a woman’s womb is a human embryo. It is alive. Thus it is a human life.
Dr. Curtis Boyd isn’t quite so daft as you. He has openly said “Yes, I am killing.” when giving an interview on being an abortionist. He admits it. Why are you clinging to fallacies that have been disputed by the very doctors doing the abortions? Why are you clinging to fallacies that fly in the face of biology? When was your abortion? Have you come here to convince us you’re really not sorry? Why do you care what we think?
Hi Beth,
Please cut and paste my falsehoods.
When a woman walks into an abortion mill her baby is alive. Alive. She is a mother. When she leaves her child is dead. She is still a mother.
The central grief(and horror)of an abortion is the killing of an innocent, fully alive human being. The denial of that grief can last a lifetime. OR one can come to terms with it and face the truth of paying someone to kill your child.
IF your friends ever regret their abortions I hope you can point them in the right direction and not be so cruel as to deny their pain. It is real.
Women are forced to talk about NOT regretting their abortions because of me? You think yelling, “I don’t regret my abortion!!!” refutes anyone else’s story of abortion regret? It doesn’t.
Food for thought Whenever you say, “I’m sorry……but….it completely cancels out the I’m sorry. This letter was written from a well of deep, deep pain and you simply skipped right over that.
Oh and Beth? I will never stop. Never. Until the day I die I will talk about my abortion and the death of my daughter in that abortion.
Abortion hurts women. We deserve better. Our children deserved better.
Hi Carder!!
I miss you.
ninek says:
November 22, 2011 at 6:22 pm
PS: the lady doth protest too much. -the Bard
Methinketh so too, ninek ;)
Thanks for your reply, Beth! You are a comedic genius.
I love how you start out with this statement:
No, xalisae, she has gone on to have two children. Period. She doesn’t grieve over her abortion, or what COULD HAVE BEEN had she continued her pregnancy.
which completely ignores the information pertaining to abortion and the reality of what actually happens in an abortion which is, that there is no “COULD HAVE BEEN”, there is a “WHO WAS AND THEN WAS KILLED” which is a biological fact. You clearly show yourself to be absolutely uninformed , and then you go on to make this statement:
women are fully capable of making informed decisions.
Obviously not, if they believe the kinds of things you’re saying.
Does abortion kill a defenseless human being?
You ask this question, then you don’t even really go on to answer it. The answer is yes. But even a simple “yes” would not be a complete answer. The complete answer would be that abortion kills a defenseless human being, and that that human being is the pregnant mother’s child who should have the right to be protected and provided for by his or her (yeah…not an “it”, sorry. So much for “informed consent”) parent(s). Protection in the case of this EXTREMELY young child being the shield of his or her mother’s uterus, and the “provided for” would simply entail the mother sharing her nutrients with her child. But instead, you continue what appears to be an ironic rant illustrating that women do not have informed consent:
It removes a z/e/f from a person who doesn’t consent to sharing her body. If you have an issue with the methodology of abortion, I suggest you consult the medical community to develop a method of removing the z/e/f from a woman’s uterus and transplanting it into an artificial environment where it can reach term.
Which totally ignores the genetic parent/child bond that the living gestating human shares with the pregnant woman (I mean, seriously…parents with default custody don’t “consent” to share their sh!t with their kids…they’ll do it or be charged with child endangerment/neglect) and demand that someone pioneer a transplant procedure. If there was no means of legal adoption for a born unwanted child, would you also support that child’s death at the hands of/behest of his or her parent(s)?
Thanks for your help for the pro-life cause though. I’ve always thought irony and parody were excellent ways of presenting a point, and you’ve done a superb job! :)
Xalisae, you rock. I wish you could speak this to our youth during sex education classes. Or do they skip right over abortion?
Doe, they skip right over abortion, abstinence, childbirth…many things. Sex ed consists of telling kids they can make sex “totally safe” as long as they use condoms (at least, that’s the way mine went).
Doe, thank you for your kind words. I would love to talk to kids about this kind of stuff. I’d love to tell them what I know both from experience and study. I’d love to tell them what I’ve learned in my life that I allowed to become so difficult for me, and hopefully prevent difficulty in their lives.
I’m sorry things are like that, Kate. Yet another thing in our screwed-up system that needs reform…
I’m all for women (including mothers) having “fabulous careers” if they want them, but if they had an abortion in order to get them… excuse me, I think I’m going to be sick.
Beth-
A coworker of mine facilitates the postnatal depression support groups for a local hospital. She said it is an anomaly when a woman in her groups hasn’t had at least one prior abortion. It has been documented for many years that the birth of a subsequent child can be a trigger for post-abortion distress.
There are hundreds of peer-reviewed, published studies which show a strong causational link between abortion and depression, substance abuse and other self harming behaviours like anorexia and cutting, relationship demise, sexual dysfunction and suicide.
One quarter of my clients have had a prior abortion. I have met hundreds of women who are suffering the symptoms of post-abortion trauma but who haven’t connected the dots. It takes a brave and humble woman to admit that a decision she agonized over turned out to be the wrong one. I have also helped hundreds of women who are ready to acknowledge that their abortion harmed them more than they could have imagined. Some of them seem very successful from outward appearances, but in the safety of a confidential and non-judgemental environment, they reveal a deeply damaged inner self.
Nobody here is saying that all women regret their abortions, but many do, and they deserve our unconditional support and assistance along the road to peace and healing.
Thank you for sharing your story. God forgives anything and everything if we just ask him. Ask Him for healing. God does not want you to live your life in pain. He loves you as much as you love your child… even more. I hope and pray that you find healing. God knows every child before they are born. They are His creation. He knows each one whose life has been taken…they are now with him. God bless you.
Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations Psalm 22:10 I was cast upon thee from the womb: thou art my God from my mother’s belly
Hi Liz M!
For those of us who have been healing from our abortions God has indeed forgiven us and promised us that our children are with Him. We grieve with hope to see them again one day!!
Wow. What a reunion that will be!!
im going to just go ahead and agree with beth somewhat. beth i know some women who do not express remorse over abortion. they dont count it as ever even happening because they are still looking at the baby as a non person. its just forgotten. my hope and prayers go out to them so that one day they may grieve the loss. i also deal with many women from silent no more. they grieve. i know that all people are different and i asked my friend “jane” ..did you name your baby? she replied ” no no i find that strange and i dont plan to.” so be it. but she and i go to the abortion clinic sidewalk together.
but now beth…..here is where i disagree with you. i am pro life so every abortion KILLS a baby. thats where we will disagree beth.
There absolutely are women that do not acknowledge the child that died. They deny their experience, some never talk about it, they “get on with life”, say abortion was the best thing they ever did, or try to encourage others in their life to abort as well.
And again….a child has died in every single one of those abortions. And that is the central grief(and horror)of abortion. Whether acknowledged or not.
What sweet relief to finally reach out to others that know the same pain and find healing.
right carla. with however many million abortions happen i would only expect different responses to the pain. i respect each and every woman and do not pass judgment on their pain. i try to give support. i have no idea what the women who dont aknowledge the aborted baby. maybe the pain is private. perhaps its not there at all. maybe one day it will be. i really can think of 2 women who maintain ” my abortion was for the best.” and they seem to have happily gone on with life.
above post should say i have no idea what the women who dont aknowledge their abortions are thinking. btw….i love the option to fix or delete we are now given as i have lotsa typos on my tiny phone;)
I would say that post abortive may all be in a different place in dealing with it. We all follow the same trajectory. I am not saying we all feel the same feelings at the same time. Cause someone will say that I am. :) Any woman still claiming that abortion is the best thing is still in denial. After the relief, comes the denial. I stayed in denial for 5 years and didn’t reach out for help until 2-3 years later.
Every story, every person, every video I have ever watched follows the same basic line to the same place. Ever read any death bed confession stories? Wow. Carrying the pain of abortion into their 80’s! Regretting the killing of their child until they were near death.
And all we can do is wait and pray and be there because someday they might need to know that there is hope and healing.
Beth says:
November 22, 2011 at 1:22 pm
I’m terribly sorry she regrets her decision and hope she receives non-judgmental compassion to heal but I know MANY women who do NOT regret their decision to abort. My friend Jessica aborted in HS and has gone on to live a wonderful life with two children, a husband and a fabulous career.
My sister gave birth to a baby just after high school graduation. She gave that baby up for ADOPTION and has gone on to live a wonderful life with two children, a husband and a fabulous career. And she did it without killing her first child.
Oh, how my heart ached for this woman while watching the video. It’s been 41 years and I regret my abortion, but I will not be Silent No More. Yes, even back then the heartless and callous comments by the doctor, “It’s no big deal, honey; it’s just a clump of tissue.” We still hear those comments. I went straight down hill after the saline abortion. I made very poor choices of an unhealthy lifestyle. The more I tried to justify my abortion the worse I became, not just in my lifestyle but emotionally, too. Decades later, I found healing and forgiveness, but as Carla mentioned it never leaves you. Yes, Carla, I heard it all, too, from family and friends; move on; don’t dwell in the past, it’s no big deal; get over it, et al. It’s never too late–there is always hope and help. Thank you so much, Jill, for posting this video. Happy Thanksgiving to all.
i agree carla. im gettin older and some of my friends aborted 15 years ago. still no remorse. still happy……and i always look at gloria steinam who aborted as a teen or in her 20s ….gloria may not make it. shes 70 now and recently got married and remarked ” i got married because it was My choice and having choices are good.” i guess she still means even if its killing your baby.
I think of Gloria Swanson whose last regret in life was that she had an abortion in Paris back in the 20’s.
I could list multitudes of other actresses.
I think of my friends who have eating disorders, alcohol problems, sexual dysfunction, rage issues etc… and these issues started after their abortions. They openly acknowledge they think their abortions led to these issues. Yup. No pain there, Beth.
Again, because some women have no remorse doesn’t mean ALL women have no remorse. Every single one of my friends who had an abortion carries emotional scars from it. And some carry physical scars as well (infertility). Abortion kills a child and wounds a woman. The killing of children and maiming of my gender should not be legal.
and the only reason i target gloria?? because shes a huge supporter of planned parenthood. how many women has that abortion pimp lead to the doors of planned barrenhood?
also model jennifer o neil who is very involved with silent no more. she explained “when i became pregnant i was over the moon happy.” i cant remember if the guy she was messing around with was married or not. anyway she went on to say ” when i told him i was pregnant he was so unhappy and i was just crushed as he said “get rid of it.” “have an abortion” so she did and later went on to say ” i had an abortion and i paid for it every day of my life.” my heart can feel her pain!
dont ever let a man talk you into an abortion. i told them up front…NO ABORTION! be strong women. even if its unplanned and youre not married. he wont love you after the abortion. hes gonna take off!!!!
God bless you, Carol!!
Thank you for sharing your story.
What a blessing other post abortive women are to me as we walk together and know that we are not alone.