Two weeks ago I received this email:

Dear Jill,
I recently reached your website and quickly became interested in the things you and your guests had to say.
As a person who has had an abortion, I still remain neutral to the issue. I believe in a woman’s right to choose. I understand people have a right to their own opinion but I don’t believe in bashing other’s decisions and being completely against something when so many people know nothing about it.
Until I had mine, I didn’t realize the pain, both physical and mental, that a person went through. Five months later, I still think about it everyday, and just to clear things up, I don’t regret it. I know what was right for myself with my circumstances. I don’t agree with people rubbing it in my face. I don’t think I need anybody’s help to remind me what I did. I don’t think people should judge until they know what its like to be in someone else’s shoes….

Having an abortion isn’t an easy thing to go through. When you are very young and have a whole life ahead of you and how cruel society is, sometimes you have to do it for yourself, not bring a baby where it isn’t wanted.
Here are some lyrics for everyone to think about:
and then she heads for the clinic and
she gets some static walking through the door
they call her a killer, and they call her a sinner
and they call her a whore
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
cause then you really might know what it’s like

I thanked her for visiting my site and taking the time to write me. I asked where she got that poem and how did people rub her abortion in her face. She answered:

It’s a song by Everlast called, “What it’s like.” It’s not exactly people, it’s just the small things… when you ride on the Interstate how there are huge billboard signs on how abortion should be illegalized. It is something you can’t ever forget. Recently I saw several signs in a neighborhood saying abortion is murder. I am constantly reminded of it by the songs that I hear.

I responded I had heard that Everlast song many times but never paid attention to the words. I said I felt very badly for her. I asked if I could post her emails so people would understand “what it’s like.” She never answered. I hope she is ok. I emailed her this morning and let her know I was posting this. So she will likely read everyone’s comments, again, if she’s ok. I hope and pray so. Clearly, although she denies it, her abortion haunts her.
My thought has always been we cannot stop talking about and showing abortion out of misplaced sympathy for post-abortive mothers. I’ve heard church pastors say this. But doing so allows these mothers to remain in pseudo-denial. Doing so makes us complicit in perpetuating the cycle. Doing so adds to the number of post-abortive mothers by allowing them to ignorantly walk into it.
There are many good groups to counsel post-abortive mothers, like SaveOne, Project Rachel, and Silent No More.
I hope my email friend seeks one out. You can move past your abortion, T. There is hope and healing. God bless you.