Blessing’s photo adopted
It seems much longer than 14 months ago when I first met moderator and friend Bethany via email. She had just miscarried her 6-week-old baby she named Blessing. Bethany sent me her story and photos of Blessing, giving me permission to post them.
Many mourning mothers have since written to thank Bethany for posting Blessing’s photos. I just received another touching note this morning, also with permission to post…
I was surfing the web looking for answers, not sure of what to expect.
Well, 8 years ago I was only 14 yrs old and had a miscarriage in the school’s bathroom and was never sure what it was. I was in shock and was not sure if it was my imagination. But that image is always in my mind, especially in this time of year because it all happened around this time.
Well, today I decided to face my fear of finding out if what I saw that day was real or I had made it up like everyone said. So I decided to look for answers and stared surfing the web. One thing I knew was I was about 4 to 8 weeks, so I started looking for pictures of unborn babies and remembering what I saw.
8 weeks was too big and 4 weeks was too small, so I said 6 weeks. So I started looking for pictures of 6 week unborn babies and I saw the picture Bethany posted on line.
It hit me. It hurts so much, because I never had the chance to hold that baby or even cry for him there in the school’s bathroom. It happened so quick.
Thank you because now I know that was not my imagination. It was real life. It was my baby that I saw.
Bethany, I know this is your baby’s picture, but I would like a copy of it please, because that is the only memory I have of him or her. I now have 3 boys but still something is missing and no one can fill that space.
God bless you! You have a kind heart.
See more photos of Blessing below.
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Only in heaven, Bethany, will you know the amazing impact that your little Blessing has had on the lives of many, many people. God love you.
You have brought hope and healing to so many mommies, Bethany. Thank you!
Bethany in light of the ratty thing that was done to Blessings photo’s a little while ago, this must be consolation to you in some small way.
God has a way of using the smallest and weakest among us to humble the proud.
14 is so young to have experienced this. May God heal this young mom.
Awww, I think I might cry. Blessing really is living up to his/her name for many, many people!!
Bethany,
Your little Blessing did more in the womb than most do in a lifetime.
With God anything is possible.
Blessing IS and will continue to be a blessing. Just like her mom.
Thank you for daring to share such a personal image of God’s love.
Yay for Bethany!
Yay for Blessing!
It is so wonderful that this picture (and your willingness to share your story, Bethany) has brought healing to so many, despite the cruel actions of other parties. Had you not shared it, this young woman might have gone on wondering for ages, thwarting part of her own grief process. God has used you and your baby to bring healing to others. How he does it, I will never know…but He is a genius.
God bless you, Bethany.
Oh my goodness…that letter brought tears to my eyes!
I want to make it known that anyone who ever wants to use my pictures to remind them of their own baby is ABSOLUTELY welcome to do so, and thank you so much Jill for posting them again for this sweet woman.
This is exactly what my hopes were in posting the photos, from day one.
I want other women to be able to feel validated in their grief from miscarriage, and to know that no, they absolutely are not crazy for feeling those feelings of loss, because what they lost truly was a special and unique human being, and they deserve to grieve their babies, no matter what anyone else says.
I also want other women to know how early babies really do look like human beings, because they ARE human beings.
So many people are totally shocked when they see those pictures and see how formed the baby was so early on. Even WITH the pictures, I have had people accuse me of lying about the baby….I can only imagine the kind of accusations that this woman had to endure without any kind of evidence. That God led her to find Blessing’s pictures makes me so happy for her. I am thankful that now she has what she needed to validate her memories.
Thank you so much, Jill, for posting this. It really made my day. (hugs)
And to the lady who wrote this letter, I am very sorry for your loss, and am so grateful that these images were able to help give you some peace of mind!
Hi Bethany!
What a wonderful story. This woman must feel so complete.
HisMan’s post is right on!!
Bethany,
You are truly one remarkable woman!
I pray that God will continue to bless you and so many others through Blessing.
Reunion Day is going to be a hoot!!!! I can’t wait to meet Blessing!
“Your little Blessing did more in the womb than most do in a lifetime.”
Amen Hisman.
Bethany,
You are a wonderful person. God-bless.
I hope this young mother has some peace now….
Thank you, Jill, Bethany and Blessing. Special hugs to the mother who wrote.
Love,
Ruthanne
Hi Bethany –
I personally am glad you published the pictures. I found out on April 11 that I was pregnant (at age 41 and rather unexpectedly, though I was quite happy!)
Unfortunately, on May 7, I miscarried. Ultrasounds the day before showed (in addition to no heartbeat) that, although I should have been almost 8 weeks, the baby had stopped growing at about 6-1/2 weeks. I chose to allow the m/c to happen naturally, which it did. Unfortunately, I was unable to see anything, as it seems the baby passed in clots and tissue, and I never did see it. Your pictures show me what mine probably looked like :(
Thanks,
S.
Anonymous 10:35: I’m very sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family.
I’m so sorry, S.
S., I am so very sorry for your loss!
S., I just wanted to share some articles from my blog, that might be encouraging to you at this time. I would also recommend the books, “I’ll Hold you in Heaven remembrance book” by Debbie Heydrick, and “Empty Arms” by Pam Vrederelt. Those books helped me so much after my miscarriage.
Trusting God with my miscarriage
http://bethany.preciousinfants.com/2007/06/01/a-thought-about-trusting-god.aspx
Excerpts from “I’ll hold you in heaven remembrance book” are in this post:
http://bethany.preciousinfants.com/2007/02/27/ill-hold-you-in-heaven.aspx
Article about sorrow:
http://bethany.preciousinfants.com/2007/06/26/article-about-sorrow.aspx
Answer to a Question:
http://bethany.preciousinfants.com/2007/07/04/answer-to-a-question.aspx
(hugs)
Thank you for the photos. Even though I was able to find and see my baby that I miscarried last year, he or she looked much less defined than these photos and certainly less than I expected. I don’t know if he was younger than the doctor thought or had started to disintegrate or what. But seeing these photos that look more like what I had been expecting to see brings me joy and comfort somehow. Thank you.
Although this is possibly the wrong place to do so, may I just simply thank you Bethany. The photographs of Blessing are the most beautiful I have seen. They have also brought me emotion like the mother of three, as I miscarried too and also didn’t believe that I really saw my child until I saw Blessing. My child was 5 weeks and yet the difference is remarkable.
Thank you once again for the strength your angel has given.
What’s wrong with me? I just found out I’m 6 weeks pregnant and the first thing I thought was that I can’t have a baby now. I’ve been planning an abortion…It just doesn’t seem real. I know I’m really pregnant but I don’t feel anything. Not love or happiness. Or that there’s anyone inside me now. I thought looking up pictures would help, but still nothing. Looking at these pictures, I realize abortion is disgusting..but I just know I don’t want to have a baby. I would have been fine with an abortion if I hadn’t seen these pictures. Now I know I will be crying or maybe I won’t go through with it at all. I don’t know I am so confused
Dani, there is nothing wrong with you…I am so sorry that you are in a situation where you feel so worried and confused…I know it has to be difficult for you!
I want to encourage you and let you know that although it may not seem like it right now, things will get better! If you have financial problems and could use some help with that, please let me know- I can help get you in touch with many places which can help you there. There are Crisis Pregnancy Centers in your area locally which can help provide you with maternity clothing, food, shelter, and even transportation to and from the doctor. If you’ll follow this link, you can find one in your area.
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/advantage.asp
There are many other places which can help with other needs.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you through this situation.
If you really are not sure whether you can provide for a baby, I would be more than willing to adopt your baby.
If you will email me at bethany@jillstanek.com, I will let you know my phone number and will be more than happy to talk to you about this more. (hugs)
God bless you!
Motherwithoutherinfant, and Susan, I am so sorry I missed your comments when you posted them earlier this year. Thank you so much for the kindness in your words… I am so very sorry for your losses. God bless you!
Dani,
Please don’t have an abortion. You will never regret your child once you see him/her. We are here for you if need help or would like to talk…
Dear Dani,
I had an abortion 18 years ago and I regret it deeply all of these years later. It was a horrifying experience and did not HELP me in any way. Please let your baby grow and be. Give your child the chance I never gave mine.
I will help you in anyway I can. Praying for you.
You can reach me through jillstanek.com as well. I am in the moderators list.
i had a misscarrige at 9 weeks and didnt know wat to think i didnt speak i just sorta put it in back my head now i feel i done the wrong thin is it to late to give my little baby a name she woulda been born on the 19 march 2009
Denise,
No, it is not too late to give your baby a name! Miscarriage is so hard to go through. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks, and it took me a while to decide on a name. Miscarriage, I think, is just one of those things that you don’t anticipate or are ready for.
Denise,
I am so, so sorry.
Going through the grief process leads to acceptance. Honoring our children with a name is a very sweet gesture. It affirms their place in your heart, in your family.
My baby who died during an abortion is named Aubrey. I had a miscarriage and held that baby in my hand. His name is Jamie. I lost another baby to miscarriage and named that baby Lee.
Please get the book I’ll Hold You in Heaven by Jack Hayford. It brought much healing to this mommy’s soul.
I just wanted to thank Bethany for sharing her story and pictures. I’m going through a miscarriage as we speak, and it’s very difficult, especially thinking of what could have been.