We lost our unborn child about 6 weeks ago….
We would like to thank all of those who expressed kindness and concern but we needed a little time to heal, time to find some solace before we publicly acknowledged our loss.
~Actor Kelsey Grammer on experiencing a miscarriage with his British girlfriend, Kayte Walsh, as quoted by Popeater, October 9
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Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
My heart goes out to them.
It is a loss. I have never had a miscarriage myself but have watched female family members and friends go through it. Funny that even the pro-choice ones grieved deeply. Its a human life that is lost and it hurts.
Exactly, Sydney.
Agree with you, Sydney.
I’ve never had a miscarriage, myself, but I know people who have. It does hurt because it is a life.
I appreciate their willingness to call it a loss and declare their need to grieve, and of course, referring to their child as their unborn child! May God bless them and comfort them.
I lost my first child at 9 weeks of pregnancy. The worst part was the attitude of the doctors I had to deal with and their dismissal of my grief. I let my OB talk me into a D&C because my body refused to miscarry naturally, and my child became simply “products of conception” on a medical record.
But I know better. I long for the day in Heaven when I can finally meet and hold my child.
My one dear friend lost two children to miscarriage (in a row) and the doctor looked at her and said “What are you crying for? you can always try again!” as if she had just missed her chance to play the lottery or something. She lost her BABY who was precious and unique and cannot be replaced. She had hope that she would eventually have children but she knew she would never have THOSE children again. Sometimes doctors are very insensitive.
Tomorrow October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
There is a 7pm candlelight vigil across all time zones to remember our little ones.
http://www.october15th.com/
Yes. Thank You for mentioning that, Carla.
“Funny that even the pro-choice ones grieved deeply.”
why wouldn’t they?
here’s hoping this couple finds some consolation.
Hal, the pro-choice position says an unborn baby is not a baby but a bunch of cells. Women are not supposed to grieve after an abortion because its just blood and tissue, so they say. So how ironic that when THEY lose “a bunch of cells” they grieve like it was an actual BABY.
Sydney, when someone who wants to have a baby experiences a miscarriage, of course they grieve. They were excited that they were going to have a baby, perhaps one they’ve been hoping for all their lives. That is not inconsistent with taking the position that the government should not prohibit other women from making a decision to have an abortion.
It all comes down to the simple truth that upsets you all so much. If the mother wants to be pregnant, the loss of the unborn baby is tragic. If the mother doesn’t, than the loss of the unborn baby is her “right.” It depends on the whims of the mother.
Hal…the loss of ANY life is always tragic..be it born or Unborn.
This is not dependent on the whim of anybody.
Hal, I really want to have another baby. Though my husband says this is not a good time I still secretly hope each month for that same wonderful surprise that we got when we found out we were expecting our son. Every month when my body lets me know that nope, we’re not pregnant I feel VERY disappointed. I feel sad. But I don’t GRIEVE because while my hopes for another child are delayed yet another month I haven’t LOST anybody.
Mothers who miscarry grieve because they have lost not the CHANCE to have a child but an actual child! You may plan to get pregnant and conceive and then miscarry but you aren’t grieving the loss of a plan or a chance or whatever. You know that you can try again the next month or so to conceive again. So why the intense grief? Its not like they can’t ever have children again. But they know they will never have THAT baby again.
BTW, someone’s “whim” doesn’t mean anything. “Whims” don’t dictate biology. When white men enslaved black men on their “whim” it didn’t mean black men weren’t human beings. When a man rapes a woman on his “whim” it doesn’t mean the woman is a sexual object with no worth to be abused. Someone’s whim can change in the blink of an eye. What does a “whim” have to do with anything? I love Coach bags. Say I decide to steal one on a “whim” does that make it morally okay? Its absurd to think someone can decide life and death on a whim and that makes it okay.
Sydney, I’m aware of how miscarriages feel.
For us, it wasn’t that we would never have “that baby” again. It was, of course, grief. But I should add that for us, it was nothing remotely similar to what losing our of our children would have been like. Others might not feel that way, I acknowledge that.