Author: Tell your abortion story like moms tell birth stories
Abortion is a normal thing that women do, and we should stop asking women to sit in silence when the topic comes up….
I don’t feel very brave when I talk about my abortion. I feel small and scared.
But I don’t like staying silent out of fear. I don’t think that’s how anyone has ever gone about winning civil rights. And we have a lot of work to do.
So let’s talk about our abortions. Everyone who is able to, everyone who is ready–let’s speak out. Let’s treat them the way we’d treat, say, a root canal.
Our health care system walls reproductive care off into its own domain: treating birth control differently than other prescriptions, insisting that women obtain abortion care at special clinics rather than undergoing this simple outpatient surgery at the gynecologist’s office.
Let’s push back by treating it like it’s just another extremely common medical procedure.
And whether or not we disclose our abortions, whether or not we’ve even had them, let’s talk as though having an abortion is a perfectly okay option to consider when you’re very unhappy about being pregnant. Let’s act like women have a choice.
Let’s tell our friends that there is nothing wrong with ending an unwanted, life-disrupting, economically catastrophic pregnancy, and let’s listen to what they say and support them in whatever decisions they make….
Let’s get to the point where telling abortion stories at a party is just as common as telling birth stories. As long as we stay silent, it’s a right that can be taken away from us.
~ Sarah Grey, discussing her abortion and its effect on her, SocialistWorker.org, July 23
Wishful thinking Sarah Grey. With the nation becoming more pro-life and abortion’s long sordid history, I do not see it being normalized.
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Unwanted life disrupting catastrophic root canal? Hmm.. I don’t recall getting emotional about any of MY dental work.
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How should we respond when a pro-abortion stranger gets in our face and says, “I HAD AN ABORTION”?
Or what should we say when a disciple of Sarah Grey gently insists that she had an abortion — and it was no big deal, like a root canal, and it was just something that she had to do?
I believe that I will respond with a simple and loving, “I’m sorry.” She will probably press to ask me why, and I will explain, “Your child is dead, and I am sorry for your loss.”
It probably won’t help to say anything more, even if she presses. But in my heart, I truly am sorry for their loss. And if she ever comes to realize her own pain, I have not burned any bridges. We can be sorry together.
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So a child dies, and it is akin to a root canal. Nice
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SocialistWorker.org? When do the unborn ever get to be considered an oppressed class victimized by bourgeois values? Oh, that’s right, it’s really not about oppression, but control…
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No, abortion is not “normal” for ALL women. Two thirds of us have never had one. Why does the media act like the statistic is the other way around?
And if abortion is just like having a root canal, why is no one asking that women share “root canal stories?”
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“Let’s get to the point where telling abortion stories at a party is just as common as telling birth stories.”
I can hear the play date scenario now:
Mom 1: Little Johnny was my longest labor! I could have built Rome in the time it took for him pop out. But he’s my hardest little worker now! Look at that castle he built over there in the sandbox.
Mom 2: My labor wasn’t very long at all with Suzi. And she’s been going non-stop ever since! Ooops! There goes Johnny’s castle!
Mom 3: Now those twins. I labored and labored and then ended up with a c-section anyway. But those two sure know how to make us laugh. See now, they’re giggling with Johnny and he doesn’t even care about his castle anymore!
Mom 4: (Rubbing stomach). I think this little fellow will come quicker than his sister did! At least we can hope so, right? She took all day and then some!
Mom 5: It hurt like the dickens to have Glob O. Cells sucked out of me but it really didn’t take too long at all. She was a trooper. Didn’t even cry.
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Not all women have abortions, for sure. “Normal” — it represents an intervention in what would be the most normal thing, the pregnancy continuing, so that could certainly be argued.
Still, abortion is not uncommon for women, it’s somewhat typical, regular, etc., so “normal” does apply to an extent.
If something is true for a third of a group, is it “normal” for that group?
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In all seriousness though, I am sorry for Sarah’s loss, too.
I can’t imagine the mental gymnastics she must go through to not only rationalize taking her own child’s life but then also feeling compelled to brag about her choice comparing it to the noble, sacred act of giving birth.
She is indeed grieving not only the death of her child but the fact that she was a major player in the death of her child. I hope she will come to grips with her destructive choice sooner rather than later, forgives herself and help other women choose Life.
Sarah’s baby was a beloved Child of God and she had no right to take his/her life.
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Some studies say 1 in 5 women will be raped in their lifetime. That is not uncommon. Most of us know someone who has been raped. Is it, then, “somewhat typical, regular etc?” Does that make rape “normal?”
More than half of the Jews in Europe were murdered during the Holocaust. That was not uncommon either. If you are a Jew, does that mean you should consider it “typical” or “regular” or “normal” to be murdered?
I didn’t think so. Violence and the killing of innocents is never “normal” no matter how “common” it may be.
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Read what Sarah wrote. It’s a good, honest, straightforward article.
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I read what Sarah wrote.
A line towards the end of her article especially stood out to me:
“Let’s put a human face on abortion.”
Yes, let’s do that and let’s not forget ALL the humans involved in abortion.
herestheblood.com
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So…murdering your own child is a “normal” reaction to an unintended (not ‘unwanted’) pregnancy ?
M’kay.
Just as a ‘normal’ reaction to losing your job is going home and killing your family , and a ‘normal’ reaction to a break-up is to kill the person who ‘rejected’ you…. ???
Sorry , Ms. Grey – you can do all the “mental gymnastics” you want. Killing your own child is NEVER going to be “normal”!
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Here’s a thought…since this is supposedly such a normal procedure…why don’t we dare pro-aborts to demand to see their offending fetus at the time of thier abortion, they can carry around that reminder in thier heads…where’s the harm… it’s just like a tooth, remember?
ONLY IT”S NOT A TOOTH. IT IS A PERSON.
A person who would have loved them.
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You can’t handle the tooth! :P (Always wanted to do that.)
Women will have a wide range of experiences with abortion, and while I realize that most people here are pro-life, one person’s take on it won’t necessarily apply to another.
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Ive had 2 D&Cs to remove uterine polyps. They put me under general and when I woke up I felt great. I dont think about my surgeries at all or my dental work. I doubt anyone cares anyway especially me.
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I used to work with an older lady who had 6 kids. Not knowing my position on abortion she told me “Heather I am so against abortion I hope that doesnt upset you.” I gave her a big hug and I told her “Oh Carol so am I.” Anyway she told me she knew a woman who tried to tell her about her abortions and although they were friends Carol told her “I do not want to hear it. You are making me sick.”I have a nurse friend who doesnt even want me to tell her about what happens in an abortion. She says its so awful she just cant listen. She is pro life but some people just cant process it. I feel the same way about the orphanage horror stories in China Romania and Russia.
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Instead of trying to normalize it they ought to seek help. As Ive mentioned about a friend who aborted in 96 to finish school….she would just tell anyone “Oh I had an abortion.” She wasnt at all ashamed but I could tell people didnt know how to respond and looked uncomfortable. Shed tell people “It wasnt bad.” I was embarassed for her. I told her once “As a friend Im telling you I think thats a bit inappropriate.” That was in 96 and she doesnt bring it up anymore. Sometimes she will still mention it to me but she claims she has no regrets. She has 5 living kids and had a hysterectomy at 40 d/t endometriosis.
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Say phillymiss have you ever read their stats where they say 1 in 3 wommen will have an abortion by the time they are 45? Well im 44 and havent and it doesnt make it acceptable. Show me a stat on how many men will commit rape before they are 45 or molest a child or commit murder. sheesh!
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Also today molesting minors applies to women as well. Especially these teachers. I remember the Pam Smart case and Mary Kay Leterneao cases. However its getting much worse so its no longer fair to blame sex abuse of a minor on just men any longer.More and more women are guilty today and its just as sick. MK Leterneao went on to marry the boy she raped at 13 and they have 2 children. She left her husband and 5 kids behind for sex with a 13 year old. She became totally obsessed with him.
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And I promise i wont sway off topic but just this once before I forget. Tina Turner bcame pregnant my birth year 1969. She had an abortion but nothing is mentioned about how or where it was done. I guess physically she was okay but she attempted suicide months after her abortion from depression. She never did have kids. The point is that these women dont realize that abortion is not good for a womans mental health and plenty of women have completed suicide post abortion.
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Prax’s comment at 1:13 wins.
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Quite honestly, I don’t care to hear about anyone’s labor and delivery, much less their abortion.
What is this fixation PA people have on telling the world about their abortions? Thank heaven they’re not this fixated on discussing their bowel habits, which interests the world about as much as their abortions.
I thought this was a private matter between a woman and her doctor.
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Hi DLPL, I was having fun with the labor/birth stories but the abortion story was so sad. . .
I was racking my brain for the real labor stories I have heard through my years — and the one’s I have told! I really wish I had a recording of some of these discussions. Some women like to brag how hard of a time they had, others how easy. We all remember where we were and what we were doing when labor started. In the end, out of all the women I have heard discuss labor and delivery, not one of them said anything negative about choosing to have their little bundle of joy.
“I thought this was a private matter between a woman and her doctor.”
Yeah, what’s with that? I’ve noticed over the years that some proaborts have started arguing that it’s a private issue between a woman, her doctor and her family and her god.
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True many women talk about birth experiences or nervous first time pregnant moms want to know what its like. But discussing abortion just isnt appropriate. I dont want to hear about anyones abortion either. Talking about murdering someone is something id save for an abortion healing group.
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Heather I am 56 and never had an abortion. I really don’t know how it would come up in a conversation. I remember I was working on a temp job and the woman I was working with told me some very personal information, including that she had had two abortions. I just said “oh”. It was a very awkward moment.
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Yes phillymiss its very strange. With my friend of over 20 years we just dont “go there” because she knows I dont approve. She has good qualities. Shes a nurse and shes generous but as we have discussed before she just is not sorry. She views it as her legal choice and in her mind life has turned out just swell. Shes married now and her husband knows. They dont have any kids together. As Ive mentioned she had severe endometriosis and they gave her a radical hysterectomy. He had a vasectomy after 4 kids. I dont
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Let’s act like…
Let’s talk like…
Let’s tell our stories like…
Yes. Pretend all you want that your abortion was the best thing you have ever done. Try to convince yourself and others that it was. Try to rally support with other mothers so that you don’t feel so alone in your zeal of Abortion Pride.
And maybe one day you will face the TRUTH of what you have done. Maybe you will face the TRUTH of a child that died in your “simple procedure.” Maybe you will face the weight of your grief and your loss in that choice.
And I will be here along with thousands of others who stand and tell the world how our abortions have killed our children and wounded us.
Praying for Sarah Grey.
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Sorry part 2….i dont think shes ever going to view it as a bad thing so its a moot point to discuss it.
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She might, Heather.
I know I’ve talked about a friend of mine here who has only discussed her abortion with me when she was very drunk. And then with regrets. She didn’t regret her decision at first. Now she just needs to move on from no regrets to regrets to the freedom of forgiving herself and others involved. She needs to realize how much God truly loves her and all post-abortive women. When she is ready, she will let go of her pain. We can offer the tools but we can’t do the hard work for them.
I know, Carla, that you pray for my friend as well as all women who have had an abortion for whatever reasons. Thank you for your ministry!
There is hope, forgiveness and love waiting.
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Hi prax….she might. I can tell you with 100% truth that she doesnt drink or use any drugs. She works and she is now 43. She visits her grandsons. She and I have drank a few times over the years yet still nothing and she doesnt smoke. I dont know what more to look for. She doesnt seem sad or depressed. And the times we did drink she was drunk after 3 beers. The abortion was so long ago we really never talk about it anymore. One day a few months back she did say “Im pc. Im glad I chose abortion years ago.” But who knows? Maybe one day she will because if she regrets it she doesnt show it and never has.
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Awhile back I met a woman well into retirement who told me she was firmly pc for years and raised her children that way. I told her that I thought that a good chunk of her generation was literally brainwashed into believing abortion enpowered and helped woman. She has come around to see the reality of abortion getting involved in prolife activities. However one of her daughters in her 50s stills is pc.
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Yes Prax the friend of mine has a large family. Her mom is twice divorced and her mom and half sister from her moms side aborted. Her dad was married and divorced twice and widowed once. Hes ready to tie the knot again. Her sister and step sister on her dads side aborted. Ive never had a sister or a step sister. However her 1 full bio sister is pro life.
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Into the dumpster goes the “safe legal and rare” platitude that the pro-aborts used to feed us.
This gurl seems to want abortion to be as common as birth (if the abortion stories are to be as common as birth stories.
Now there are no apologies for abortion, any reason is a good reason……
No wonder people are cutting and self flagellating, and crap like 50 Shades of Grey is so hot.
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Hi Carla,
Exactly.
I haven’t see any campaign to discuss one’s colonoscopy. Why not? Why don’t we encourage people to bring it up at dinner parties and other social events? What a great topic of conversation.
Maybe these folks are trying harder to convince themselves than they are anyone else that their abortion experiences were so wonderful. It seems most people don’t have that need when it comes to their colonoscopies.
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