Sunday funny
by Gary McCoy, May 29…

Jun.01, 2008 7:30 am |
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test
Jill,
Yeah! You passed the test!
Martians might well want to plan their parenting too…
How about it!
PP is probably chomping at the bit right now thinking about all the lives they can snuff out once we can make regular visits to the red planet. (They would certainly see to it that it became a lot redder with the shedding of blood.)
On a happier note, I’m so glad to wake up this Lord’s day to a working site. Congratulations, Jill, and thanks to your technical expert!
Meh, my bet is that the only life on Mars- if there is any- that they are single-celled organisms, most likely bacteria-like.
If anything, Jill’s site is working better than before, IMO.
Here at home I only have dial-up internet access, the only alternative being $80 a month for satellite, and I’m almost never here, so not worth it.
It’s not even a “fast” dial-up, either. Rather than the nominal maximum of 56,000 it’s 26,400 bits per second here. Those Slowsky turtles would love it here.
Anyway, rather than the minute or 40 seconds which was normal to wait for a thread to open up, it’s down to 15-30 seconds now. Rockin’….
I felt like an old man last night, having weeded the asparagus bed on my knees. Today, though, inspires me to get outside.
It’s one of those crystal-clear days, not a cloud in the sky, not humid and not yet hot.
Let’s hope they (PP) all go to Mars and never come back. :)
Janet: maybe they’ll find a race of alien – fetii who inhabit the planet!
JLM and Bethany,
Read this today…off topic…but noteworthy…
The word Zakar….Timothy J. Ralston , Th.M., Ph.D., The Spirit
Doug, 10:20: Interesting. To me the site seems to be running slower. (I’ve got high speed cable.)
Jill, do you think the recent glitch in your blog is due to bad karma for being “mean” to people?
Too funny. But remember, Planned Parenthood is so hated that it can no longer tip its hand as to where it is moving next.
If Klanned Parenthood was really planning on setting up an abortuary on Mars (surely using our NASA tax dollars), the sign would read something like “Coming Soon, Auburn Avenue Parking.” At least until zoning was worked out.
Nevertheless, I gotta post this one at my blog. Thanks!
Jill
I’ve been having trouble all day loading your site. It is very slow.
(I have a counter on my browser)
If Klanned Parenthood was really planning on setting up an abortuary on Mars (surely using our NASA tax dollars), the sign would read something like “Coming Soon, Auburn Avenue Parking.” At least until zoning was worked out.
Wasn’t Auburn Avenue Parking in Ohio? Next thing PP will be using the name of a church as their “alias”. Watch out municipalities, you could be next!!
Patricia 12:41: Janet: maybe they’ll find a race of alien – fetii who inhabit the planet!
Perish the thought!
We have to be ready. How can we get a bloodied doll to Mars?
We have to be ready. How can we get a bloodied doll to Mars?
Posted by: truthseeker at June 1, 2008 4:35 PM
LMAO! Too funny. And to think we just missed the space shuttle too!
*worried*
Isn’t there a movie with a line that goes “In space, no one can hear you scream?”
Liz, it was ALIEN.
For a while, Lance Bass, of the N’Sync boy band group, was trying to go to space, up to the space station. It fell through in the end – the Russians wanted too much money or some darn thing.
The funny line was, In space, no one can hear you sing.
Here’s hoping this works: I actually view this site via the Opera browser on my cell phone, and have been having a little trouble posting lately, so I hope it’s better now.
If a baby was born on Mars and the mother changed her mind and didn’t want it, anyone could kill it. Mars is out of our jurisdiction. Pretty ideal for PP to set up shop.
mk: This is what we do at mass. We Re enter the covenant. We re commit. We sign the declaration over and over again. We don’t just remember His death/resurrection/ascension…we re enter it by transcending time…
Does the Catechism use this phrase “transcending time”? I would think this would be very hard to grasp by someone who doesn’t understand “transubstantiation. It sounds a bit “out there” to me, like something from Star Trek and I’m Catholic.
Janet, transubstantiation refers to substance, no?
How about Nietzsche’s “transvaluation of values”? ; )
“Janet, transubstantiation refers to substance, no?”
Yeah Doug. Basically is says that the accidents of bread and wine remains but the substance changes.
Janet and Bobby,
I was talking about the actual “sacrifice” transcending time. Jesus, the sacrificial lamb, placed on the altar and sacrificed, then as a priest offers Himself to the father on our behalf. Jesus as perfect priest making a perfect offering.
When we celebrate mass, we transcend time and re-enter that moment of sacrifice asking Jesus to take OUR offerings to the Father, having been perfected by Jesus as the lamb…does that clear it up…or muddle it more?
Bobby and Janet,
This doesn’t say who the author is, but it sounds suspiciously like what I was reading by Thomas Nash…anywho, it goes into much more detail…
But yeah, basically, we do the star trek thing at every mass.
Nash’s book is fantastic, indeed!
from the catechism:
1363 In the sense of Sacred Scripture the memorial is not merely the recollection of past events but the proclamation of the mighty works wrought by God for men.[182] In the liturgical celebration of these events, they become in a certain way present and real. This is how Israel understands its liberation from Egypt: every time Passover is celebrated, the Exodus events are made present to the memory of believers so that they may conform their lives to them.
1364 In the New Testament, the memorial takes on new meaning. When the Church celebrates the Eucharist, she commemorates Christ’s Passover, and it is made present the sacrifice Christ offered once for all on the cross remains ever present.[183] “As often as the sacrifice of the Cross by which ‘Christ our Pasch has been sacrificed’ is celebrated on the altar, the work of our redemption is carried out.”[184]
Right Bobby! That book is awesome. I read it in the chapel and only do small doses. Too much to take in at once. That’s where I read the bit about “zakar” and the different understanding that the Jews had about “remembrance” compared to how we, modern christians, understand the word.
They were also talking about this on relevant radio last Friday…
mk,
So you mean the sacrifice “transcends time” coming to us, but we don’t transcend (go back)? Or is there a little of both? I’ve always understood it to be the former.
Janet,
I think transcend time means you step out of time…so it’s not really going back or bringing it forward…hence transcend. Can’t really label it, since it’s outside of time…Does that make sense?
I could be wrong tho. It’s sort of over my head, technically speaking. But I think the whole point is that the past and present cease to exist and it all becomes “now”.
mk, OK, I think I finally wrapped my head around that one. “Outside of time” makes sense! Thank you!!
Janet,
The book MK mentioned above, Worthy is the Lamb by Thomas Nash, is fantastic for understanding the mass and what it is. The book taught me something that cleared up soooo much for me. This may help clarify things further for you too.
There is more to a sacrifice than just the slaughter of the victim. Not only must the victim be slaughtered, but the victim must THEN be presented to the one to whom he is being offered. We see this in Judaism when the high priest on the day of atonement (Yom Kippur) slaughters a goat and two rams (or maybe it’s two rams and a goat). After the slaughter, though, he must go into the Holy of Holies and sprinkle the blood of the victim on the mercy seat in order for God to accept the sacrifice. He PRESENTS that sacrifice to the Lord. Good so far?
OK. Now sometimes you hear skeptics or atheists ask the question “If Jesus rose from the dead, doesn’t that invalidate the sacrifice? Jesus said “It is finished.” Why did he need to rise from the dead? That undid his death. etc.” What they fail to understand is the NATURE of Old Testament sacrifice. Jesus was crucified and died on the cross; that was him being slaughtered. But in order for the sacrifice to be complete, the high priest (i.e. Jesus HIMSELF) must present the sacrifice (himself) to God. And that happens in heaven. That is why Jesus rose from the dead and ascended into heaven- to be able to present himself eternally to the father. After all, that is the job of a priest; to offer sacrifice. But since there is no time in heaven, Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross is ALWAYS being offered to God. And THAT is what we celebrate in the mass. THAT is the sacrifice that we talk about; the actual presentation, NOT the slaughter. This is why you always hear people say that we don’t re-sacrifice Christ. We don’t re-sacrifice him; we represent him. The mass is the FINAL “part” of the sacrifice. It is in that sense that time stands still because there is no time in heaven, and we participate in the heavenly liturgy where Jesus continuously presents himself to the Father, which remember is the final “step” in any sacrifice. That is how it is one-and-the-same sacrifice, yet Jesus isn’t re crucified or dies again. Slaughtered once; presented infinitely many times because his sacrifice is of infinite merit.
I always heard so much about how the mass is a sacrifice, one in the same, unbloody manner, representation, etc. but I had never really understood what that meant. Worthy is the Lamb cleared that up for me. I highly recommend it. Hope that makes some sense. God love you.
So in what I said above, MK is dead on about transcending time. We “step into” the heavenly liturgy. Not forward, not backwards. Man, MK hit it perfectly!
Bobby,
Exactly. I got just as excited when I read that.
The first part of the “sacrifice” is the slaughter. The ‘people” are involved in that. They bring forth the sacrificial animals (like Mary brought forth Jesus), then the beast/sacrifice is taken into the inner sanctuary (second stop), but it is not until the HIGH PRIEST (Jesus, in this case) takes it into the Holy of Holies (where ONLY a High Priest can enter) and asks the Father to accept the sacrifice, that it is complete. So when Jesus said it is finished on the cross, He was only speaking of the first part. The fourth cup. Not the whole deal. That didn’t happen til the ascension.
Totally blew me away.
And then Steve Ray talked about the difference between what WE mean by memory, and what the Jews meant by a memorial. Two VERY different things. They mean bringing the past into the present…or stepping outside of time and reentering the thing being remembered. Passover is not about rehashing the exodus, it’s about transcending time and reentering the exodus. Just like we do at the mass…
Mind blowing!
Unfortunately,
This whole thing started with a comment to JLM and Bethany (and Hisman for that matter) and none of them have read it.
Oh well, it felt good to share it.
Thanks Bobby and Janet.
Steve Ray is great too. Wow, talk about a guy on fire for his faith. He has the same grace when it comes to the Eucharist as you do, MK.
BTW, are you referring to his new book; I think it’s called “The Eucharist for Beginners” or something like that, when you talk about memory and memorial?
I don’t know Bobby, I just heard him on Relevant Radio. But you better believe I’ll be looking for that book.
My cousin is a baptized Catholic who left for a protestant church (She’s the one with the husband that is sick…) We talked today and I shared all of the stuff we just said about the sacrifice and the memorial and how you have to read the old and new testament as if you were a Jew…she was floored. Even crazier is that she had called me because she’d been hearing about some “nun” called Fastina…and wanted to know where she could get more info on her. I laughed so hard, and told her “Oh Honey, Faustina is all about the Eucharist so you better give that some thought before you start reading her”…heck if you skip all the Eucharistic parts of Faustina’s Diary you’d be finished reading it before you began!
She asked me why we weren’t taught all this in school, and I asked her if she remembered in Prince Caspian when Aslan asks Lucy why she didn’t come when he’d asked her to follow him. She said that she’d tried to tell the others but they wouldn’t believe her. Aslan asked “But why didn’t YOU come?”…
I told Katie that it was the same thing. While Lucy’s siblings were wrong for not believing her, she couldn’t really blame them. She had to take some of the responsibility for herself.
While the Catholic Church has definitely been remiss in it’s catechizing us, we ultimately are responsible for our own growth in our relationship with God. I told her that many Catholics feel the same way and that they have written tons and tons of books and that while some Catholics jumped ship, some of us (I mentioned you and Janet) have been reading everything we can get our hands on, are learning our faiths inside and out, and spreading the word…
She listened. I think it won’t be long now, til she comes home…amen. And thank you God! And thank you Saint Faustina!!!
He talked about Peter and the Keys also. The Royal Steward. There’s probably an actual set of keys out there somewhere…2 feet tall!
The keys to the kingdom
I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
If you’ve ever seen the official Papal seal, you’ll notice a set of golden keys included in it. Catholic teaching puts this verse in context with Isaiah 22: 22, where God tells Isaiah to go to King Hezekiah’s steward, Shebna, and inform him of God’s intention to replace him with Eliakim. In regards to the new steward, Eliakim, God says: I will place on his shoulder the key to the house of David; what he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.
In Old Testament times, the steward of the palace was the king’s right-hand man, the second-in-command. When the king was away, the royal steward was keeper of the keys to the kingdom, ruling in the king’s stead. While he looked after the affairs of the kingdom as the king instructed, he never replaced the king but awaited his return. When the present steward died (or in this case, when the Almighty intervened), the office was filled by another.
The office of the Papacy works in the same manner. Catholics believe Christ, to ensure the unity and health of His flock, gave Peter governing authority over His Church by handing over the keys to His Kingdom. Like the ancient “key keepers,” Catholics do not believe the Pope is the new king but instead a steward awaiting the King’s return. Even the Pope’s title “Father” imitates the role and title of the steward of Judah, also called “father.” Until Christ’s second coming, the keys will be passed on to each successor to the Papal office (Ray 1999, 29-40; CCC 857-860).
Now, what do the terms “binding” and “loosing” refer to? These words sounded strange to my modern ears, so I looked for some historical context. Apparently, the terms were common in Rabbinic canon-law, representing the legislative and judicial powers held by a Rabbi (Ray 1999, 40). In this context, Catholics view Peter’s key-keeping status as one that makes him “Supreme Pastor,” with final authority over what is permitted and what is denied in matters of doctrine and spiritual discipline.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/2018713/posts
mk: I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven;
I have always loved the imagery of this bible passage. We had to draw a poster in grade school of something from the bible and I chose this passage – God’s hand reaching through clouds handing a large key to Peter. It’s funny what we remember from our childhood.
Mind blowing!
Posted by: mk at June 2, 2008 7:41 PM
Can I have some of those drugs you’re on? Lol!
Can I have some of those drugs you’re on? Lol!
Mine.
All mine.