Connerby Carder

I was bleeding heavily, sitting on the rug, crying. My two little ones were hiding behind a chair, crying. And it hit me: This is a domestic violence situation; if their dad had done this, I would take our children somewhere safe.

Forget love. Right then, I didn’t even like J. In his short little life, he’d had a ton of loss. But it was clear to me that I was pushing him away to keep the smaller children safe. I couldn’t handle the idea of them being hurt. I could see that always putting the other kids’ safety above meeting J’s needs was creating a barrier between us.

It was a painful situation.

~ Adoptive mother Stacey Conner, describing the difficulty of dealing with a violent adoptive child and making the decision to place him back up for adoption, via Yahoo Shine, March 20, which adds the end of the story:

Eight months after the Conners had brought J and their daughter from Haiti to Spokane, his new parents arrived in town. Conner’s therapist warned her that J likely wouldn’t weep or protest when he left. Indeed, he just walked away (and by all accounts is thriving with his new family).