Aborting a family
Murder has such a tragic ripple effect. Blogger Abbas_Princess mourned the senseless killing of her niece of nephew in “Death in the family” June 30:
I’ve held off for a couple of days writing this, hoping that my thoughts and emotions would sort themselves out into something coherent. They haven’t as yet, but I shall write anyway.
It’s not your usual death. However, it grieves me greatly. My life will forever be missing someone. Whenever I think of it, and the circumstances surrounding it, my chest constricts in a way I’ve never known, and I weep, not only for myself, but for Adam, for my children, for my parents.
But most of all, for my devastated dearest brother, who’s first child was aborted by his ex-girlfriend at 11 weeks.
If I’m honest, and I’m so glad I can be here, I’m angry. Furious even. I loved that precious little life. I’d never met his girlfriend. But I adore my brother, and he was so overjoyed to become a father. It’s all he’s ever wanted. I’m angry because Rob didn’t want her to. I’m angry because, as in his words, “But what could I do? She didn’t want it.”…
And he’s right. She left him, and decided she didn’t want it after all. He’s in the navy. He’s at sea the larger chunk of the year. He couldn’t have contested it. He wouldn’t have stood a chance.
And you know what? I’m angry because we didn’t get a say. The aunts and the uncles, who were so excited, for the grandparents who never got to see the first son of their first son. For the cousins, who, while they don’t understand, I’m sure will feel the undercurrent for years.
I’m angry for the baby. I’ve never known my heart and arms could ache so much for a child not of my own womb. I’m angry that we couldn’t save him. I’m angry that even if we’d offered to have the baby, which we would of, without a second thought, it wouldn’t have changed the outcome.
I’m angry there’s no grave. I’m angry he will never be spoken about. I’m angry he’ll never be acknowledged. I’m angry. I’m ANGRY.
I never met him. I never held him. I never breathed him in. In fact, I don’t even know if it was a boy. But it’s what comes naturally, and I believe the Lord it impressing it upon me.
And yet, I feel the compulsion to reach out to find him. To cuddle him close, and tell him is loved, that he was wanted, and is the sweetest little smidgen to ever grace my life.
Babies were made to be cuddled… it is incomprehensible to me that he never was… by choice.
I can’t write any more. I just want to thump the keyboard and swear. Loudly.
Rest safe in the arms of Jesus, precious, beloved, sweet baby.
[HT: Bethany Kerr; Graphic attribution: Flicker]
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
I am so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family.
Abortion is such a selfish act. Help is out there for scared, pregnant women and girls. Please find it. Don’t kill your baby. It belongs to the world, not just you.
This breaks my heart. Please let your brother know that I am praying for him and your whole family. You will remember this little one and his life WILL have meaning.
There are several resources for your brother.
Here’s one
http://www.fatherhoodforever.org
Abortion hurts us all.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. My heart breaks when I learn of men whose children were killed against their will. I’ve seen them where we sidewalk counsel, they come to us asking, “What more can I say to her?” And the deathscorts treat them like dirt (as opposed to the other abort-support fathers who they surround as he smokes waiting for her to get their ‘little problem’ taken care of). Some men only learn of their girlfriends’ past abortions when she tells them she’s pregnant with his baby now—and she has no intention of doing anything but aborting. How many fathers quietly grieve out there? I have two male friends who’ve gone through it, and can name exactly how old that child would have been.
I appreciate that Abbas_Princess acknowledges the truth that abortion is a death in the family, that that baby was someone to so many people. I encourage families to visit Georgia’s Right to Life virtual memorial, where these babies can be named and remembered. It is a very small thing, but it helps with the healing and feeling that these little lives were not in vain.
I’m angry there’s no grave. I’m angry he will never be spoken about. I’m angry he’ll never be acknowledged. I’m angry. I’m ANGRY.
That’s why some religions have specific rituals after abortion…… they not only acknowledge this part of the grief on the part of those still living, but have another idea that the spirit of the unborn baby feels anger at not being acknowledged or remembered, and needs to be placated.
The US is really deficient in recognizing these issues. and of course the earliest medical abortions are all about isolating the woman and leaving her ALONE.
Prayers for those left behind.
My heart is breaking for your family, especially your brother. It’s hypocritical of our society to leave a man out of the “choice” equation. That baby is 50% his, so why does a woman get all the “rights” just because the baby is inside her body. Gah… I find it so disheartening. I feel so horrible for your brother. Please let him know we’re praying for him… and he needs to check out Project Joseph (it’s like Project Rachel but for men).
I’m truly sorry for your loss Abba’s Princess. For you and your family to have been deprived of your nephew/niece’s life is criminal.
At least you have the blessed assurance of meeting him/her when you get to Heaven.
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
GRRRRRR….
oh dear. What to say? What to even write?
How DOES one measure such a loss?
When will the people who support abortion realize that a baby is NOT merely a choice?
I am truly sorry for you and your family and especially your brother, Abbas_Princess. It will be my prayer that you will all find some sort of consolation and that the mother of this baby will realize what she has done and seek forgiveness and healing.
I have two cousins I know for sure were aborted. If they had been allowed to live they would be now in their 20s. Abortion hurts so many people.
Louise, abortion even hurts those who are on the frontlines, counselling women. I know. It’s heartbreaking to try to help women and then have to watch them go in and abort.
I can only wonder at God’s heartbreak. :(
angel,
He’s probably saying to himself, “I’ve sent them someone who could cure cancer three times but they keep aborting him. What’s it going to take for abortion to stop?”
very sad! Men need to realize that their own immoral choices to sleep with women they have not made a marital commitment to could be jeopardizing their unborn children. I hear this story all the time..the girlfriend went out and aborted the child against the father’s wishes…its tragic. Perhaps if you (the man) had made better moral choices you wouldn’t face this heartache to begin with? and I’m not trying to be extremely judgmental–i’m just being real. When you don’t follow God’s laws heartache happens!
Sydney, marriage does not give aa man any rights/say in wether or not keep a baby
Sydney, marriage does not give a man any rights/say in wether or not keep a baby
It certainly does give him the right to say the child – his child – must not be killed and that he will provide for the child.