20 Years
by moderator Carla
It has been 20 years since I walked into Meadowbrook Clinic in Minneapolis, MN. I longed to see the screaming “protesters” or anyone who could offer me anything other than what I had scheduled. I did not want an abortion but was all alone and too scared and confused to think rationally.
I had no idea what an abortion would be like and wasn’t told anything about it. I had no idea what it meant for my life and how it would affect me and I was not told a thing about that either.
I have walked this road of abortion recovery long enough to know that abortion isn’t simple or easy or painless. In my darkest moments I tried to take my own life over what I had done. The truth of my responsibility in the killing of my first child has been hard to bear. I named my daughter Aubrey.
My love for her fuels any and all of the work I do in the pro-life movement.
I am running a triathlon again this year in hopes of raising awareness of the pain that abortion causes and abortion recovery services. I am also raising funds for the pregnancy care center nearest me, The River Falls Pregnancy Helpline offers help, hope and support to women in unplanned pregnancies.
They offer everything I wanted for myself 20 years ago.
If you would like to donate please see the link on my Outcry Wisconsin blog, and find more information on my Facebook events page.
You can also send a direct donation here:
River Falls Helpline
514 North Main Street
River Falls, WI 54022
Last year I raised close to $1400. This year my goal is $2000!!
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Hi Carla, my prayers are with you during this difficult milestone anniversary. I’m confident you will have many financial supporters for the triathlon, and thanks for all you do for pro-life in memory of Aubrey. LL
Good luck Carla.
I’ll be routing for you.
Wow… You named your abortion? You longed to see an Anti-choicer on the way into the clinic… but you walked in anyway? Were you in handcuffs? Was someone pointing a shotgun at you? I don’t get it… Are you trying to say you made a choice for yourself that you thought was best but, in retrospect, it was the wrong choice for you so you wish to take that choice away from every other American?
Carla I don’t wish to be mean or stomp on your feelings, but I cannot think of a bigger cry for attention than to give your abortion from 20 years ago a name… You are heaping SO much guilt on yourself; one must ask if you’re trying to make yourself into a victim? You will find life is better without dragging that giant cross of guilt around with you everyday…
This is just an observation but why is it that everything the church touches is wrapped in guilt? I mean original sin right from day one sounds quite unfair to me…
Biggz – she named the child. Let’s start there.
Hi Biggz,
Have already gone over this with you. :) I know you don’t mean them to, but your comments always make me laugh out loud!!
Carla, God bless you! Thank you for your beautiful witness. Your courage and determination speak so much more eloquently than the trolls who post here or the proaborts who sling insults at you in real life. May the love and peace of Christ sustain you always.
Yay!
Why, oh why, do pro-aborts have such a problem with post-abortive women naming the children they aborted?
Carla’s not dragging guilt around with her Biggz, that’s what you don’t get. She’s completely free. :) Love you, Carla!!
She didn’t name a murderous procedure, she named a human child.
Carla is very brave and I’m proud of her for working so hard. One day, when we meet our children in the afterlife, we will have the strength to face them. What if I had gone on, sinking deeper and deeper into pathological selfishness? Then I’d turn away from the child in shame, and isn’t that what hell really is? It’s a state of being, separated from love, alone in the dark. I’ll face the light, thank you very much, even if it’s hard to look.
Thank you for the prayers, LL!!
Thank you, Hal!! :)
Hi Fed Up!
Thank you! No worries. The author and sustainer of my life has done much in 20 years!!
Love you, Kel!!!
Thank you, Ninek!
I don’t get it…
Truer words were never spoken…
Biggaz, some women have names for babies that were lost through miscarriage or stillborn, babies that were apparently planned. Does that bother you, too?
Go get ’em sista!
For all the young moms and babies in the River Falls area.
God Bless YOU!
Whooa…wait a minute, this isn’t some measly little 5K or 10K.
This is a TRIATHLON!
You’re talking serious endurance here, swimming, biking, then running.
Ok so you’re a Mom, a wife, a crusader for the pre-born, a moderator for this blog, you counsel post-abortive moms through recovery, active in your local church, and in your spare time you train for a triathlon which you run in honor of Aubrey.
We all knew you were cool Carla, but we didn’t know you were that cool.
I’m ashamed of myself.
I gotta believe you’ve got a boat load of spiritual rewards piled up and waiting for you.
I know I’m not supposed to be jealous, but I am.
Time to kick it into gear.
Hey Carla, good luck with the traithlon (if you haven’t done it yet). Biking is always the toughest part for me.
Ed,
My brutha.
1/3 mile swim, 10 mile bike, 4 mile run
The training for it has been brutal but the race itself is kinda fun. :) I wouldn’t call a 5k or 10k “measly” but I hear ya. ha
Hi Megan!
Thank you! The triathlon is this Saturday. The run is the hardest for me. By then I just want to lie down in the middle of the street. Something I probably shouldn’t do.
Carla, young and alone and scared you were that day, but today you are a strong and beautiful woman. God has indeed done so much for you. I know Aubrey is smiling down on you from heaven. And we here are all cheering you on!
Thank you, Lori!! :)
Carla’s story is one of the reasons I’m pro-life. I hate to see a woman go through this kind of pain.
People think “Oh they make that choice, who cares if they regret it, they made the choice.” Regret can happen. Human beings make mistakes, they sin, they hurt, but a sincere repentance and turning life around is a chance for grace, mercy, forgiveness and God’s amazing love.
Best wishes on your Triatholon, Carla, and don’t let anyone cloud the vision of God working through you. God bless!
Aw thank you Mother In Texas!!
I so appreciate your sweet, encouraging words!
All for Him.
Best wishes for a strong and successful tri.
You are amazing Carla and I will be praying for you.
Many many blessings. You are a great prolife warrior. :)
Carla, thanks for sharing. Go Go Go!
27 years ago this Friday I had my abortion. I have been the director of two different pregnancy centers for over 15 years now – and everything I do to help women make a different choice is for my son, Daniel. I didn’t name him – God did – and then He simply shared that name with me.
And I am definitely not living in guilt. I live in absolute freedom – with passion that fuels what I do every day.
And for those women who choose life for their children? There is no feeling like watching a mother hold her baby who had been scheduled to die. I have never yet seen one who regrets her decision. Life truly is a beautiful choice!
Carla, hugs my friend. Your spirit and heart never cease to amaze me.
Carla, best wishes and good luck in your tri and all your future endeavers! Also your comment about the challenges of the tri and wanting to lay down in the middle of the road reminded me of an episode of Scrubs in which J.D participated in a tri and among the challenges of freezing water, a bicycle detour (of course caused by the Janitor), J.D. pooped out just feet from the finish line, laying down in the middle of the road, but finished with the help of his friends. I encourage you all to watch the episode if you get a chance :-)
Go Carla !!!!!!!!!
Carla,
Headed over to your blog to make my donation now. So glad you’re still raising your voice in defense of the unborn!
We’ll make sure you’re on our prayer list.
Go Carla! Go Carla! God bless you as you run this triathlon. You are awesome.
Biggz – because the abrahamic faiths are doctrines of fear.
Kel and robin – it is quite obvious that Carla is carrying guilt around with her, that’s what drives her.
ninek – what afterlife?
Good luck in your event Carla!
Words of wisdom from Mother in TX, excellent discernment.
We should encourage one another but have to be careful we don’t allow pride to sneak in there.
Whatever we’re able to accomplish, it’s by the working of His Grace and for His Glory.
He is able to use weak vessels like us.
Praise His Wonderful Name!
(Haven’t seen Scrubs in a while Rachael C, great show, gotta luv the janitor, Dr Cox…)
Hey cranium,
You’re right, the Fear of the Lord is one of the foundational pillars of wisdom in the Christian and Jewish faiths. He is an Awesome and Holy God.
You’re wrong about the guilt though. For those of us who know Christ, we know that His Precious Blood cleanses us from all our iniquity and all our unrighteousness. All our sins are forgiven.
What we do is in response to His Wonderful Mercy and Lovingkindness. He’s paid our debt and set us free from the bondage of sin. To love and serve Him and our fellow man with all our hearts is what comes naturally in the light of His Grace.
If you don’t know Christ, it’s undertandable that you wouldn’t know about life after death. Knowing Christ is really simple and easy though.
All you have to do is trust Him, believe His Word that he died for you, a sinner (like the rest of us), and that He rose from the dead. He’s alive cranium, and if you’ll commit your life to Him, His Spirit will come and live inside you and empower you and give you Love, Joy and Peace that will blow your mind (cranium).
He’s ready when you are.
cranium – you must’ve missed this:
If you think you’re being wronged by Christians, who are supposed to do good, then is it possible you’ve ever done someone wrong?
What would be the just thing to do in that case?
Hi Cranium,
Guilt is what drove me to try kill myself. If you can’t see the diff between running a triathlon in total freedom to raise awareness of the pain abortion causes and trying to take your own life then you do not know The One who hung on the cross for the sin of my abortion. He took my guilt and shame. Sorry, but you and Biggz get an F in reading comprehension. Go ahead and keep arguing a personal story of abortion though.
Robin,
God bless you! I will be praying for you tomorrow!!
Angel, Elisabeth, Rachael, Jasper, Mary Rose, Prolifer L, Ed, Chris,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU THANK YOU! :)
Cranium,
This was my first message ever put onto this site. Fear? How in the world did you discern fear in what i wrote? I don’t hold precious babies every day at work because of fear…
(and thank you, Carla)
A triathlon?? WOW! I did a 2 mile WALK and thought I’d hung the moon! WAY TO GO!! I wonder how long the haters have to sit and think to come up with something snotty to say. It’s hard to argue with someone’s personal testimony. And I’m always amazed that no matter how varied our backgrounds or the situations that that led us to the abortion clinic are, we somehow have the same after-effects. Every time I read or hear someone’s story, it mimics my own. I thought that too… I felt that way too… God is so good in His mercy and forgiveness. Things we also share now. While so many run for awareness for diseases and illnesses that we can not control, the pain and heartache of abortion is something we CAN do something about! Thank you, Carla!!
Robin,
Your first comment? Wow!! Please stay! :)
Jocelyn,
Love you, sweets!
There is no denying the reality of the effects of abortion. As a Rachel’s Vineyard facilitator the stories sound all too similar. The depression, shame, guilt, drug abuse, nightmares, suicidal thoughts and attempts, the unraveling of a life.
But there is also the shared sisters in Christ bond that comes from finding grace and forgiveness!! Thank you, Lord!
Fight on, friends!!
You’re a beautiful person Carla! I know your story has and will continue to save lives. Let the naysayers say nay. You will always tell the truth of what your abortion did to you and thats why I love you!
Cranium, energy cannot be destroyed but it can be converted. What makes us concious is a marvelous play of energy. When some people die, their concious mind will be so undisciplined that they will disperse like chaff in the wind. Others, such as religious people of many faiths including but not limited to the Abrahamic faiths, Sikhism, Buddhism/Hinduism, will have spent their lives disciplining themselves. Did you know that religious activities such as meditation and prayer actually grow part of the brain? It’s true and proven by neurologists. When such folks die, there is a good chance that they will retain their conciousness. An atheist with a good grasp on physics can believe this because it make sense to him. A religious person may attribute it to supernatural power, but in the end, they both win. You, my friend, are in danger of being chaff in the wind. If you don’t believe in an afterlife, you have that option, and it just might become your self-fulfilling prophecy. You may find exactly what you expect to find, which is oblivion. However, since some of us believe that Jesus did not lose a single lamb, your conversion may be imminent.
I love you, Sydney!
Carla, just sent 20.00 for the helpline; enjoy your run. God bless you.
Pat.
God Bless you Carla and all involved. :)
Thank you, Andy!! :)
God bless you, Doe!
I heart Carla! :) :)
(Sorry for the long delay; silly things like a job, and such, demanded some attention…)
I heart Paladin!
Hey, Minisculez, way to go! Now, not only are we not human till a stork magically brings us to a delivery room, but we’re just a “procedure”
To paraphrase The Prisoner: “I am not procedure, I am a man!”
Carla, best of luck! I, myself, only run when being chased by a bear!
THE RACE WAS AMAZING!!! :) So glad I did it for the 2nd year and thank you for all of the wishes and prayers and donations!
Some photos
http://fourby40.blogspot.com/2010/09/phillipians-413.html