Sexploitation symmetry: Come here to conceive, go there to incubate
From Slate, August 23:
Reproductive tourism in India is now a half-a-billion-dollar-a-year industry, with surrogacy services offered in 350 clinics across the country since it was legalized in 2002.
The primary appeal of India is that it is cheap, hardly regulated, and relatively safe. Surrogacy can cost up to $100,000 in the US, while many Indian clinics charge $22,000 or less. Very few questions are asked. Same-sex couples, single parents and even busy women who just don’t have time to give birth are welcomed by doctors. As a bonus, many Indians speak English and Indian surrogate mothers are less likely to use illegal drugs. Plus medical standards in private hospitals are very high….
The surrogates, many of whom are cooped up in “surrogacy homes” away from their families for the duration of the pregnancy, are often in dire financial straits….
In another disturbing case, an upper-class Indian woman hired a surrogate to carry her child and invited her to live in her home…. The client accused the surrogate mother of stealing and not only kicked her out of the house but coolly informed her that she didn’t want her services anymore and that she should terminate the pregnancy. Surrogates get paid only on delivery of the baby, so this kind of situation is economically devastating for a surrogate. It can also severely compromise the ethical and religious beliefs of surrogates who may not wish to undergo an abortion….
Meanwhile, from New America Media, August 31:
On a recent day in this Los Angeles suburb, Maya Jagdeesh, 35, was being wheeled out of a room at the Fertility Institutes after undergoing an $18,000 procedure to ensure she gets a boy.
Jagdeesh… had flown in from Vancouver, BC, with her husband to Dr. Jeffrey Steinberg’s clinic after seeing his online ad that characterizes his pre-implantation genetic diagnosis service as “the world’s largest and most successful 100% sex-selection program.”
Jagdeesh said that in her Indian community, most people would assume that her husband or in-laws had forced her to have the procedure. But she insisted she had sought out the clinic herself….
But not all the women who come to his fertility clinic or others in the US that offer PGD are brought there by happy reasons. Especially for those with roots in Asia, Africa, and the Middle East, sex selection is often not freely chosen. Women are frequently coerced, overtly or subtly, to guarantee the prize their husbands desire above all else – a son….
A 2008 analysis of Census data by 2 Columbia University economists found that among US children born to Indian, Chinese and Korean parents, the ratio of boys to girls was skewed. For eldest children, the ratio was similar to the general population – 1.05 boys for every girl.
But when the first baby was a girl, the odds of the 2nd being a boy rose to 1.17 to 1. And after the birth of 2 girls, the likelihood of the 3rd being a son jumped to 1.51 to 1.
This is clear “evidence of sex selection, most likely at the prenatal stage,” the authors wrote.
So strong is the hunger for a male child in some communities in India, and so intense is the pressure on women to produce a son, that female infants are frequently murdered, sometimes by the frightened mothers themselves.
The deep-rooted cultural bias against daughters has noticeably skewed the female-to-male ratio in some states in India, particularly in Punjab, Himachal Pradesh, Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh and Bihar, where an estimated 160,000 baby girls are reportedly killed every year. In 2001, males in India outnumbered females by about 35 million.
Part of the imbalance comes from abortions. Ultrasound results often lead to terminated pregnancies, which is why the Indian government banned the use of the technology to determine gender in 1994.
Even so, sex-selective abortions have resulted in 10 million “missing” female fetuses over the past 20 years, according to a 2006 report in The Lancet.
Steinberg… denied that his clinic is perpetuating a cultural preference for boys….
Still, support groups for South Asian victims of domestic violence talk of gender preference as being, in Jesudasan’s words, “part of the life cycle of violence against women.”
“I have talked to severely abused South Asian women in fertility clinics,” said Dr. Sunita Puri, a medical student at UC San Francisco who has been researching sex-selection among South Asians in and outside the US….
Oh yes, abortion opened this can of worms that led to a deepening respect for women, right? Now women are being target for annihilation at hours old!
“Greed is good” – Gordon Gecko from the film Wall Street
Markets always seek to expand.
Human beings – the ultimate product. Or maybe not – if you’re pro- human extinction.
Looks like that’s what it means to be “pro-choice”.
I can intellectually understand the reasons that people give, but I never really got the whole “must have a son at all costs” mentality. My parents both wanted a girl but would have been happy with a boy (I’m their only child), and my boyfriend doesn’t particularly care if we have a son someday or not, as long as we at least have kids. The only people I know who went out of their way to have a son (adoption) adopted a daughter first. Two of my aunts had three sons before they got their longed-for daughters, not that they loved the sons any less. In short, this whole “OMG, my life is not complete without male offspring” mentality is totally removed from my day-to-day life and experiences.
Did anyone else here read The Giver? This post reminds me of how in the dystopian society in that book, “birthmother” is an assigned job in which a chosen birthmother has three babies in three years and then has to do manual labor for the rest of her life.
The whole “busy women who just don’t have time to give birth” thing is creepy.
Humanae Vitae.
http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html
Read it. Live it. Love it.
Once you do, you realize that once we allowed ourselves to play God in terms of contraception, IVF, and abortion, we have allowed ourselves to descend headlong into the cess pool we see above.
Well I be!
Looks like the feministas are wrong again.
Females can be incubators. You go girls!
Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to personally download the DNA to the woman who is going to birth our children.
Who’s kidding who ? [pun intended]
The children were a byproduct of the sex. An unplanned and unintended by not unwelcome consequence of the canoodling with my wife.
I still havent’ gotten over specatacle of people paying more for water in a bottlen or a cup of coffe than they do for gasoline.
“$18,000 procedure to ensure she gets a boy.”
You can get similar results with litmus paper, a digital thermometer and creative contortioning.
It seems the swimmers that carry the chromosmomes for boys do better in particular environment and they are sprinters not distance swimmers.
If you wait till the ph is right and temperature is right and you use gravity and position of the landing in relation to the intersection of the falllopian tube and the uterus, then you can optimize your probabilty of a male child.
[Hold that thought and that position.]
That is just tooooooo much mangagement in the heat of passion and it really ruins the moment.
[‘moment’ is not a time specific term measured in seconds or minutes, but in intimacy and ntensity.]
The irony is not lost that it is women who are using women as incubators.
Actually ken those methods are not proven forms of achieving male or female babies. I did a report about sex selection and the research doesn’t support that. Best be happy with whatever you get it’s a miracle either way ;)
Kate’s comment…Man, we really do need a “like” button on here.
Kate,
Actually, they are ‘proven’ to be more effective than waiting for a full moon or wearing a blue mask or thinking girl or boy thoughts while ‘in the very act’, but they are probably not as determinative as the technology that costs 18K.
I am not recomending or endorsing sex selection procedures, just suggesting that there is more than one way to skin that cat.
We have four daughters and a son.
What does that tell you about how concerned we were with the gender of the child that might be the result of our becoming one flesh?
With boys you spend more on car repairs. With girls you spend more on paper products.
After having raised 5 children to adulthood, I recommend adopting a child who is 18 years old, then ‘breaking his’/her plate and telling her/him it is time to get out and make it on your own.
[Just kidding]
Yeah, we really do need a thumbs up or thumbs down button.
I remember the black and white TV days and being home sick and watching ‘Queen for a Day’. Three or four women would share their tragedy and then the studio audience would clap for their favorite and the applause meter would indicate which lady would be ‘Queen for a Day’ and have money thrown at her problem(s).
Timing can also help to “improve” your chances of having a boy or girl. I’ve got the NFP charts to prove it too.
My mother in law is one of those people that a boy matters more than a girl. I’ve been told a real woman would have a boy. Believe me when I say I’m not on her good list seeing how I have four girls and only one boy now. When she calls, she only asks about the boy. (Coincidentally, I don’t talk to her much)
This entire article is sad. I saw a show on TV about these surrogates in India and the doc delivers the baby via c-section. The doc is telling the woman “What are you crying for? Baby is healthy. You should be happy!” and the storyline right before hand was her saying how she’d grown to love the child and didn’t want to give the baby away. The women aren’t even allowed to see the baby. It’s so sad!
Jill, will you be covering these?
http://www.cwfa.org/articles/10194/CWA/life/index.htm
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/GisslerAJOG.htm
Several recent studies show that women die at higher rates after an abortion than after carrying to term… not necessarily for medical reasons; there’s some postulation that childbearing has a positive, protective effect.
Yor bro ken – love the word “incubate.” Changing my title!
I don’t understand surrogacy. Is the sperm actually from the male partner? Who supplies the eggs?
I remember during my pregnancy I just wanted a healthy child, and I got one. which is a true blessing. I’ve heard of Indian women rubbing their nipples with poison or even burying the poor girl babies alive. Girls are a liability in Indian culture, especially if they are dark-skinned (notice how fair the woman in the ad is — light skin is highly prized in India).
The whole thing is just really tragic.
From what I understand, the Shettles method (which is what Ken is describing) has a track record of about 75-80% if you’re trying to conceive a boy and about 80-85% if you’re trying to conceive a girl. Contortionism not required. Dr. Shettles in his book clearly states NOT to use his methods unless you would accept a baby of EITHER gender. Some men only produce one gender of sperm, and other factors can skew the results.
The biggest thing is timing… male sperm swim much faster but die off sooner. Female sperm are slower but much hardier and live longer. So, if you’re trying for a boy you want to stop having sex right after your period and wait until ovulation to try for that boy. If you’re trying for a girl, start having sex daily (if not more often) from the day after the period and keep going up until a day or two before likely ovulation. (High numbers of ejaculations also seems to affect the male/female ratio of the sperm ejaculated towards a higher number of female sperm).
We had a daughter first, so I’ll admit, we used Shettles to “try” for a boy with number 2. He is now an amazing wide receiver/defensive back for his high school JV football team…. but it was a LONG four months. After that experience I said, “Yeah, ya know… got the boy… from here on out not doing that!” (Sue me… I like sex!)
My parents, however, used the Shettles method for their second child to ensure a girl… oh, yeah, that would be me! My older brother says I’m dad’s favorite because its the only time in mom and dad’s marriage dad got that much nookie!
Back to the original story now: this is definitely proof that the “we can control all aspects of fertility” idea leads only to discrimination and increased murder in the womb. Very, very sad.
Jill–posted some studies I saw on twitter; not relevant to this article so you don’t have to publish them, but I wanted you to see them and they’re probably just caught in the spam filter where they’ll never see the light of day.
I read a book on the Shettles method a long time ago. I don’t know that there’s much to it, but I will say that I correctly guessed what our two youngest (younger?) children would be according to the timing of their conception. Both were conceived on the day of ovulation, and both are boys.
Phillymiss, I agree with you. I thought I was carrying a girl. I was pretty sure so I was mildly disappointed when ultrasound revealed my son was…well, a son. Not because I didn’t want a boy but I was disappointed that my motherly instinct as to his gender had been wrong. Now I laugh at that. I want more children…boys, girls, it doesn’t matter! My sister had four boys and cried when she found out her fourth was a boy! She wanted a daughter so badly! Now they are looking to adopt a girl because doctors don’t think it is healthy for her to give birth again because of a certain medical problem. But if I had only daughters would I love them any less? I don’t understand not loving your child because she is YOUR CHILD. The stories from India of tossing newborn baby girls into buckets of water are horrifying.
Girls are fun! You can go shopping for makeup and clothes with them, tease them about boys, watch silly Lifetime movies, etc. And you can dress up baby girls SO CUTE! Little boys’ clothing is boring.
I’m not trying to be sexist, I guess you could do the same things with boys, but I had lots of fun with my daughter doing “girly” things.
What Are Little Boys and Girls Made Of?
Submitted by: ScrapNhappy
Author: unknown
What Are Little Boys Made Of?
What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails,
And that are little boys made of.
What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and all things nice,
And that are little girls made of.
What are young men made of?
What are young men made of?
Sighs and leers, and crocodile tears,
And that are young men made of.
What are young women made of?
What are young women made of?
Ribbons and laces, and sweet pretty faces,
And that are young women made of.
A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. ~Irish Saying
I had to chuckle over your post Phillymiss. I am glad not to have the temptation of girl’s clothes because I would be in major debt! The little girl outfits are so cute. There is not much of a selection for boys, but I have my fun nonetheless. But I love being the mom to a little boy so much I would love another boy…and then a little girl :-)