Weekend question: Why are young men more pro-life than their fathers?
Esquire released a “Survey of American Men” on September 16 with results that surprised them:
Surprisingly, 20-year-olds are more conservative in many of their social attitudes: They’re 3 times more likely than 50-year-olds to say that divorce is never an option; they’re more likely to want their wives to stay home and take care of the kids; and there are more 20-year-olds who self-identify as pro-life than pro-choice.
Here was the breakdown, which shows the pro-abort side losing on all counts. Click to enlarge:
Pro-abort Shelby Knox at Care2.com blames:
- “the backslide in political reproductive rights on the state and national level during the past two decades”
- that young men are “primary victims” of “the Bush administration[‘s]… failed abstinence-only-until-marriage programs that touted misinformation about abortion, as well as hormonal contraception and condoms” and
- that “these young men also came of age at the dawn of crisis pregnancy centers, religious establishments that pose as fake clinics near college campuses and real women’s health centers for the sole purpose of spewing lies like ‘abortion causes breast cancer'”
On Twitter Knox agreed with another’s thought that young men are pro-life because “in this generation they don’t face consequences of unintended pregnancies as much.”
So do you agree with any of the reasons Knox speculated as to why young men are more pro-life than their fathers?
Or why do you think this phenomenon is occurring?
[Photo via Care2.com]
Sep.18, 2010 9:27 am |
Weekend question |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Probably because they’re better “educated” about what abortion is (and does) than their fathers were. After all, the father generation of THIS one is the generation that BELIEVED Roe v. Wade. They BELIEVED that the SCOTUS knew what it was talking about when it approved Roe….but this generation KNOWS better.
God forbid one less child gets killed by one of those phony clinics by the college!
This isn’t a male thing. Poll after poll has shown that young people, who survived Roe and grew up with the knowledge needed to combat the “ball of cells” propoganda, are more pro-life than previous generations. This particular survey happened to be of young men, but a survey of women would probably show the same thing.
The Esquire survey also showed that fewer young men believe in God, so pointing to “religious establishments” as the cause of their pro-life stance makes no sense whatsoever. http://secularprolife.org/video?v=rbTBZOjERqk
I don’t think this woman reasons very well.
1. If “less rights” were actually a factor, wouldn’t they be more “pro-choice”? Wouldn’t they be screaming in the street for such “rights” instead of opposing them?
2. I’m sorry, I graduated 2006, in this day and age, there really is no excuse to be ignorant about the birds and the bees. Between parents, school health class, t.v., internet – even those waiting till marriage know how things work.
3. Not even going to justify those lies about CPC’s with a response.
4. This one is actually kinda valid, although I still think it would only play a small part in the scheme of things.
My belief is that these guys have lived through a legal abortion U.S., and they don’t want their kids to suffer like they did. They see or come from broken homes, they’ve seen what abortion is, does, and can do – all they want is a traditional family, like the one they never had or were fortunate enough to enjoy.
They’ve had to live with the consequence of abortion. Many of them have had a post-abortive woman in their lives, or also, a mother who gave them live despite all odd and thus value their lives. Abortion has become personal for all because all of us could have been aborted.
My son was conceived in very difficult circonstances, and I will tell him, that I believed in him before he was even born, How much of a blessing he is. (He truly is a wonderful boy, kind, smart (trilingual), peaceful and reasons well.)
Amanda K….you said exactly what I thought. They want that traditional family because they see how much their parents’ broken marriages hurt them and their friends. I hope my son grows up to be pro-life. I am pretty sure he will because I will educate him to the inhumanity of the whole act. He has already seen his ultrasound pictures so he will be able to identify readily with fetuses realizing he was one and heres the proof he was human and alive. He has seen how he went from a tiny 5 week old embryo to a 16 week fetus to a round and robust 24 week old preborn. Most young adults have ultrasound photos of themselves or siblings. Its hard to deny the truth when its sitting before your eyes. Catchy pro-choice slogans don’t explain the visual truth away.
My boyfriend had a girlfriend in college who had an abortion and he got messed up for a while. (He ended up being kicked out of school for drugs shortly after.) He wanted to stay together, but she told him the pregnancy was her chance to “re-evaluate” the relationship and realize she definitely didn’t want his kid. She gave him a list of reasons for that, including his looks. (Yes, I’m serious.) He knows I’m pro-choice, but he’s not. I think it hurt him a lot. I’m sure a lot of men have had similar experiences.
By the way, JillStanek.com friends who have followed my drama…another month, still no baby. My boyfriend and I have been “unprotected” since April and we haven’t had a viable pregnancy. I’m starting to feel depressed all the time and resent women with babies and children that I see out in public, especially if they’re just going about their business like nothing special is happening. It’s depressing. I think I’m going to go back on BC and quit trying for now. If I go to the doc and find out I can’t have any children, I’m probably going to feel suicidal.
Ashley,
I do not want you or anyone to think by what I’m saying to you in the next paragraph that I support the idea of planning to have a child outside of marriage (of course, once the child is conceived I certainly am all for anyone doing everything they can to help). In no uncertain terms do I think it is a good idea to have a child out of wedlock. You mentioned before a while ago that you thought about waiting until you were married and I think that is a very good idea- to wait until you are in a relationship where you have made the lifelong commitment to your spouse before starting a family.
Now, that being said, I do want to say a few words about your concern. I know you’ve been trying for several months now, and I do not think that is at all enough time to begin worrying, especially considering the fact that you have been pregnant at least twice before. The window of opportunity for conception is surprisingly small, and it can sometimes be just a matter of bad luck when one doesn’t get pregnant and wishes to. I know I’ve learned a great deal about how the female body works using NFP. I might actually try using NFP, Ashley. Not as a way to avoid pregnancy (again, I say abstinence) but using NFP in the sense of recording your temperature every morning, and doing all the other things that can tell you the signs of when you are fertile. This is something that many women do before ever engaging in the sexual act so that they are familiar with their cycles and can know their fertility when they are married. You may be surprised the times of the month that you discover you are fertile or even how long a month you are fertile. In that sense, NFP is also used to achieve pregnancy. Once you know the times of the month you are fertile, one can choose to either abstain if they don’t want a child now, or engage in teh sexual act if they do want a child. Again though, I strongly urge you to consider this to learn about your fertility patterns and not to achieve pregnancy at this time.
You are a beautiful person Ashley (in more ways than one!) and I know that you will be strong and get through this. When you are meant to have a baby, you will have a baby. God love you.
Ashley, I conceived my son while using birth control so a few months back when my husband and I tried to conceive I thought I would immediately get pregnant. But it didn’t happen for many months. I felt EXACTLY like you. I know how you are feeling. I did figure out when I used an otc ovulation kit that I ovulate late (day 20) and then 10 days later menstruate so my husband I were timing intercourse too early and not really timing it close to ovulation so that could be another reason why you haven’t conceived. Are you sure of when you’ve ovulated? Then my husband lost his job so I look back and think it was good that I didn’t conceive then.
If you love your boyfriend enough to want to have a child with him why not build a permanent healthy foundation for your child by getting married? Studies prove that children born to married couples are healthier emotionally and physically and do better in school.
God will bless you with a child in His good time. Which doesn’t make it any easier to wait right now–I am in the same boat as you. Longing for a baby but having to wait. Tons of my friends are having their second and third children and I want to feel those familiar pregnancy signs so bad! The fact is, as Bobby has mentioned that a million things have to go right for a baby to even be conceived. That is why each pregnancy is such a MIRACLE!
One more thing, if you do want to have a baby in the future I would suggest NOT going on any hormonal birth control as it thins the lining of the uterus and in some women permanently thins it so that they can never carry a child. So please consider some other method of bc that doesn’t attack your fertility.
These young men are learning from the mistakes of their fathers.
They also see the results of a liberal mind and are turning towards a more conservative aproach to life.
Ashley – problems in getting pregnant usually aren’t tackled until a year of trying – but Bobby’s suggestion is a good one. My husband and I have been using NFP for nearly 18 years now – and it is amazing what it can tell you about your body.
Also – if you are looking into natural ways to have your body work well (if it doesn’t) it’s good to see a person who is certified in Na-Pro Technology. This is using natural hormones and methods to regulate periods/fertility without un-natural hormones (current hormonal birth control use man-made hormones).
My friend here went thru Na-Pro technology specialized training and she is finishing up her studies for an RN. It’s amazing what they can do by watching the natural signs of a woman’s body and taking some blood samples… I know several women students here who have been given natural progesterone and their periods are now normal with no problems like before…
Good luck with everything. Children really change people (for the better, I think – I know it did me! ;) ) And God graced us with two beautiful girls!
I definitely recommend Natural Family Planning. And Na-Pro Technology when needed!
If you love your boyfriend enough to want to have a child with him why not build a permanent healthy foundation for your child by getting married?
That’s our new plan. He expressed some doubts after the second month of no luck (not about me, but about being unmarried). I got another period today, and we sort of agreed to quit this whole “trying” phase and use some form of contraception, and marry. It’s still agonizing to think it might never happen though.
Ashley–if it helps, I have a VERY close friend who had an abortion five years ago. She later got married and after about a year of marriage, she and her husband decided to try for a child. She went off birth control and nothing happened–for 14 months. She was starting to really get worried when she finally got pregnant at month 15. She’s having a wonderful healthy pregnancy and her baby is due this winter.
Sometimes women who have been on birth control (specifically “the pill”) take a while to become fertile again. I’ve heard that the longer you’ve been on birth control, the longer it can take you to get pregnant. I have a cousin who was on birth control for 6 years straight; it took her nearly 2 years off birth control to be able to get pregnant, but she did end up with 2 beautiful children. Don’t give up hope–sometimes it just takes some time. I hope you won’t be offended if I pray for you and your boyfriend. I wish both of you all the best.
Ashley,
I couldn’t agree more with all the advice other people gave you on here – about getting married first and using NFP, and giving it more time. All these are really the best things you can do in this situation. I can also suggest one thing – just relax, breathe and try to get rid of negative thoughts. The best chance of conception is when both partners are relaxed, positive and simply enjoy themselves. So getting all upset and constantly thinking that there might be something wrong could also be the reason you don’t concieve.
Just to back up my words – I’m married, using NFP (first – as a prevention, now – as a help to concieve). We don’t do anything to prevent a pregnancy for about half a year now and just try to enjoy ourselves as much as we can, because once the pregnancy comes, a lot of things will change. I have a friend who had 1 baby and 2 miscarriages and desperately wanted another child, but couldn’t concieve. Later she had some health problems which would have been very dangerous for the baby if she was pregnant at that time, so you never know what’s ahead of you and in the end everything will work out well, you’ll see.
Of course Shelby Knox had to “Blame it on Bush”! I laughed so hard when I read that. Could it really be that young men have seen what their fathers have gone through with the feminist movement? Men and women are not equal, biologically or otherwise. That’s not to say that one is deserving of more rights than the other. When it comes to abortion, women and women alone have been granted the legal right to kill these babies, while men have been stripped of their right to father these children. I think young men are at a place that they see what is wrong with this picture. Also, with modern technology we can see these unborn babies, fully formed, sucking their thumbs etc. How can anyone say these babies are not human, and not worthy of being granted their right to live?
Reading this poll just makes me wish even harder that we could erase the “rape and incest exemption” or at the very least separate it from the “life of the mother exemption”. It shows that we still have so much work to do in educating people that children conceived in rape are no less human or valuable than other children. The “life of the mother” condition rarely, if ever, exists. The fact that most people are clinging to this stance isn’t really a victory, but I suppose it’s a start.
Congrats to you Ashley. I hope you both do get married before you start a family. Marriage is so wonderful. People say “whats the big deal” but I can tell you marriage is the strongest bond. The only other bond that is as strong is the bond between parent and child. I remember when I got to the hotel on the first day of our honeymoon I told the bellhop to wait because my fiance was pulling the car around and then I realized I should say husband instead of fiance and the feeling of “WOW” and excitement that came over me was glorious. I looked at my husband in awe all the time thinking he was my partner for LIFE. Marriage is wonderful Ashley. Its so different than just dating. Its a level of commitment that feels safe and reassuring. We will be celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary this fall.
I agree with others that you shouldn’t worry. You obviously can get pregnant so just relax and take a deep breath. It will happen for you. It will. Just take good care of your body now and you will see it produce life. And my ob/gyn said every woman of child-bearing age should always take prenatal vitamins so I have ever since I delivered my son. Cause you never know when you could conceive so best to be ready. God bless you Ashley.
I totally agree with you Jocelyn. Although I know that allowing all three exceptions would save the vast majority of pre-born children and still be a great victory for human rights, I think that the poll should have had the option of just the mother’s life, because incest is simply covered up by abortion, and abortion simply adds more hurt and guilt onto a rape victim.
Jocelyn – “The “life of the mother” condition rarely, if ever, exists” - That’s true, but I have no doubt it will be used as a loophole/scape-goat.
Why are more young men pro-life?
Because young pro-life women are beautiful.
Justsnapd8:
So feminists haven’t won any victories besides legalizing abortion? What about rape laws? Bringing domestic violence to public awareness? What repercussions should there be for a husband or boyfriend who forcibly impregnates his partner as a means of control, if this woman does not want to have a child?
Also, Ashley:
Keep eating healthy food and don’t stress. It will happen soon.
Nagem:
What’s your point? Feminists are KILLING CHILDREN! Do you not understand that? Babies are dying and none of the things you listed is their fault, NOT ONE! Feminists seem to think that prolifer’s are blind to the problems you listed. HELLO! We’ve seen it, we’ve lived it, we KNOW all about it. We should be working together to find solutions to them, but we will NOT sacrifice children for that.
Ashley – my parents went through ten years, lots of fertility treatments, and a miscarriage before they had me, but I showed up in the end. :) As other people here have said, it’s after a year of really trying hard to get pregnant and being unsuccessful that you should start wondering about infertility. You’re not at that place and I wouldn’t worry about it.
While I think it’s tragic that your boyfriend’s previous girlfriend aborted his baby, I’m glad that you’re with someone who understands the magnitude of abortion and its aftermath. Some people really don’t have any grasp on it at all and can be insensitive without realizing it.
I think young people today are more pro-life because there’s a “there but for the grace of God go I” aspect that people who were born before the legalization of abortion don’t have.
Hi Ashley, I am still praying for you. I think your boyfriend has had a “LIFE-CHANGING” experience (pun-intended) due to the aborting of his baby by his previous girlfriend. I am also “glad that you are with someone who understands the magnatude of abortion and it’s aftermath” as Marauder said but I am sorry he went through that painful experience. I pray that both you and him will have your heart’s healed, will one day understand the awesome gift and sacredness of unconditional love, the covenant of marriage, the sanctity of life, the purpose of family and the blessing of children. Beautiful babies will one day probably be yours and they deserve the loving committment of married parents. No, it does not make life perfect or without problems or difficulties but marriage has many documented advantages to men, women and children for their health physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, socially and psychologically. Take care Ashley. We wish you LIFE, LOVE and the best.
Ashley, I went through about 2 years of secondary infertility afte my first son was born, including a miscarriage, but have since had two healthy children. Sometimes, for whatever reason, pregnancy just doesn’t happen as easily as it technically “should” according to the statistics.
I agree with everyone else who says that if you want to have a child with your boyrfriend, then marriage seems like a really good idea. I would say you should ask yourself if you want to have a child WITH your boyfriend specifically, or it is just that you personally really want to have a child. If the answer is the former, and your boyfriend feels the same way, I would say you two should get married as soon as possible and just allow yourself to be open to life. If it’s the latter, I would ask if part of your desire for children might stim from pain after your abortion. If that’s the case I would say that maybe you should wait just a bit on the wedding and try a period of abstinance where you could get some post-abortive counseling. After that if you feel like you want to have a child with your boyfriend (who you want to be your husband) I would say then to get married and be open to life.
Esquire Magazine? Seriously, Esquire Magazine? So you had no problems obtaining information from a soft porn site? Do you know the actual demographics or geographical locations of the responders?
4% more 20 year olds are anti-choice than 50 year olds. Most pollsters allow a 4% error rate in their data gathering which is why most political polls are conducted fortnightly on average. Even if it is 4%, that’s hardly enough to justify ‘the pro-abort side losing on all counts’. But that’s ok, lets assume the 4% error rate is a negative and therefore 19% of 20 year olds are ‘pro-life, without qualification’. This may well be because they simply don’t have the life experience that a 50 year old does. Once they have seen more of life and developed greater maturity and, possibly, wisdom they may well change their position.
I notice they are 10% more likely to cheat on their wife/girlfriend too, I’m as disappointed about that as I’m sure you are. 50 year olds are significantly happier to perform oral sex, that surprises me. 54% of 20 year olds think gays and lesbians should have the right to marry, you didn’t mention that! I’m not happy about the approval rate of the death penalty, what are your thoughts? It’s a real mixed bag of results really.
Ashley: You’ve gotten some decent advice here (I’m not too gung-ho on NFP, but the information you gain from it may well be helpful in conceiving). I think the question about marriage is a bit misplaced though. Certainly, you want to have a stable relationship, but marriage won’t cause that–you and your boyfriend will. If you’re committed to each other, the ceremony won’t change that. If you’re not, then going ahead with marriage may just add more complications.
I’m not saying don’t get married, but if you two aren’t already committed to each other, don’t expect a ring and a piece of paper to change that. I see marriage as being a formal recognition of an existing relationship. If you and your boyfriend don’t already have the kind of relationship you think a married couple should have, I would work on that before tying the knot.
Why do people on this site keep implying that my boyfriend and I aren’t committed? We are. We’re just very impatient for children. Do you know how hard it is to find a guy my age who wants a baby? Also, neither of us really like the idea of a big wedding. It sounds more anxiety-inducing than anything. I wouldn’t be opposed to just getting a marriage license and never having a wedding.
We’ve both been hurt. His ex-girlfriend really messed him up. She told him one of the reasons she was aborting is that he’s somewhat overweight (for my Facebook friends: it’s the guy in my picture) and she didn’t want kids like that. What a bitch.
So maybe we’re not coming from the healthiest place. Yesterday, we even discussed taking a break from sex altogether. I think it might bring us closer together.
I truly believe that our country is in the midst of a demographics shift. The faux-progressives aren’t having children at the same rate as those of us with traditional moral values. Essentially, I’m talking about what some folks have called “The Roe Effect,” only on a larger scale.
Faux-progressives don’t value children the same way that we do. If they do value children, then they don’t value them in large numbers. Smaller family sizes — or no children at all — are far more likely on the “Left” end of the political spectrum.
Meanwhile, the traditional folks are far more likely to embrace children. Those of us who are religious (especially Christian) realize that children are a gift from God. We are more likely to have children, and we’re more likely to have more of them.
In my example, my parents (seriously pro-abortion-choice, both of them) had two children. I have three children. That’s a 50% increase! :) More seriously, most of my friends in my small town also have three or more children. I know several folks with nine, ten, or more children.
Of course, the “catch” is that there is no guarantee that one’s children will grow up to inherit one’s values. Again, from my example, I have rejected nearly all of my parents’ values. (Makes for fun family visits!) Traditionally-minded parents don’t have any guarantees of raising traditionally-minded children. Obviously, the public schools are stacked against traditional moral values. Mass media can also be a serious threat to our children’s morality. We need to be deliberate & intentional about passing our values to our children. However, as long as we make the effort, then our chances seem to be pretty good.
Sorry, Ashley, it wasn’t my intent to imply that you aren’t, though I can see how you’d interpret it that way. So, my bad. I just don’t see marriage as being something that defines a relationship, and it frustrates me to see people giving advice as if it was.
Anyways, I do wish you the best, however you decide to proceed from here.
oh, goodness. NUMBERS! conservative, non-related adults have 208 children between them all. Liberals have 147. That’s a big kid difference.
Plus, people who approve of abortion tend to also invest less in their kids. a lot less. less financially, emotionally, socially, all of it. I make jokes about how the school expects that kids are raised by wolves, and then I get my heart broken when they tell me about kids who would be better off raised by wolves.
And, the seventies- most aborted generation ever. 1 in 3 pregnancies from 1961 to 1981 ended in abortion. 1 in 3. those are black plague, bubonic plague, disaster for the european world, taught in school, numbers. It is really hard not to look like a death’s head skull and crossbones nightmare when you espouse the sort of values that lead to Black Plague numbers of deaths.
And, goodness, we have a public, emotional culture. So when one girlfriend gets an abortion, she tells people, and writes about it, and everything. It’s not a secret. When she gets bent, mentally ill, attempts suicide, breaks up with her boyfriend, acts out in despair- that’s out in public, too. The generations before keep talking about how “secret” all their life was….they could not learn from each other, and frankly, they sound morally and emotionally imbecilic to kindergartner-ish. A lot of people can learn from one person’s public pain or public joy.
And, gosh, golly, you know the guy who does the visionary stories that end up movies? The guy who imagined Blade Runner? He wrote a story about abortion up to age 12, He pointed out that the women who were for it were, in a sense, castrating harpies. And since this generation, for better or worse, has all sorts of sexual anxieties, and performance anxieties- their love life is half in public, it seems- I would think an anxiety about castration by killing off the sperm that succeeded- is a very understandable thought.
and, there are less twenty somethings. from all I’ve read about the baby boom, they viscerally felt that there were too many people based on their life- too many kids in kindergarten, not enough fabulous stuff manufactured. at least that’s what I get from reading ann quindlen.
ari
and ash, get married. it puts the 800 pound gorilla in the room- god- protecting your marriage and sustaining your vows. it helps.
i’ve been married twelve years. I was raised by serial divorcers. It’s what I know best- h/t carry on a child custody case. But marriage? with fights and compromises and saying ” I love you’ ? It’s all new territory for me. About once a year I think ” this is it, I’m leaving.” and I stick around, we have kids…and I pray, and whatever knot needs to unravel unravels, by him, or me, or going to church, or laughing at something, or making love, or something. I think that something is God bringing the divine tool chest into play.
Some of the young probably have mother’s who had abortions and regret them. They may have had to watch her suffer for years.
Oh, btw, Ashley, we’re now wise to your little identity crisis you seem to have had on this site. We know you’ve been posing as “Reality” for some time now, on several threads, for at least the past few weeks. No clue why on earth you’d see the need to do that, but it’s quite likely you’ll be banned.
I’m sure Amanda Marcotte would welcome your writing over at RH Reality Check, since you appear to be a fan and credit her with turning you pro-choice. Couldn’t have anything to do with your own abortion, though, surely not. And now I understand why you were so quick to dehumanize unborn children at an early stage – the same stage at which you chose to end the life of yours. Your being “underwhelmed” at an unborn human the “size of a dime” now makes all the sense in the world.
Also explains the crude personal attack I had to edit on another thread. Seemed out of character for “reality,” and now I know why. Also explains the harping on and on about women being pregnant by abusive men. I understand you feel you had to abort in order to get away from your abusive boyfriend. But assuming that all women are in your situation is just plain wrong.
So it appears you’ve at last morphed into two people before our very eyes. One is Ashley/Reality, who hates “anti-choicers” who “subjugate women” and “hate sex.” And the other is the Ashley who comes crying to us “anti-choicers” for support when she miscarries or is unable to conceive. We have tried to help you, Ashley, but bottom line, you have to get help. You seriously need it.
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Kel I am so sorry to hear what you just reported. I feel you guys should do whatever you think is appropriate under these circumstances, you have bent over backwards to be kind and tolerant. I always knew “Ashley” needed help but this is really sick and pathetic. She definitely needs much help. I hope she gets it.
I hope you guys won’t ban Ashley. Its obvious she is deeply hurt and confused by the emotions her abortion have set in motion. She is the devil on the shoulder and the angel. Arguing for and against abortion. I think it mirrors the utter confusion in her own soul. I am going to pray for Ashley. I hope she will still be allowed to come here and work through this issue. But Ashley, please, just be yourself. Its okay to just admit you haven’t totally worked through the issue and you’re on both sides of the fence. We care about you.
I swear I don’t mean this as an insult, but what comes to my mind is that Ashley/Reality reminds me of Smeagol/Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Smeagol tries to redeem himself; Gollum holds Smeagol back and makes him miserable. Smeagol wants to get along with Frodo and acknowledge Frodo’s kindness towards him, but Gollum lies to Frodo and Sam and plots against them. Smeagol/Gollum has a tortured, constant inner monologue in which the two aspects of his personality argue. Let’s just hope Ashley gets Reality to leave and never come back.
Hi Sydney. Your point of view is understood, and we have tried to keep an open forum and to be helpful and supportive of her.
However, going to such lengths to post as another persona on this site (one that happens to be used by another regular poster) is unacceptable.
Ashley knows where to find us and how to email us if she’d like to talk, and I’ll state here and now that if she’d like to email me here at the site, I’d be glad to do what I can to help her. And I know Carla already extended that offer a long time ago as well.
Ashley–
My offer for correspondence is still open as well.
I tried for three years to have a living child with no luck (and was not preventing a year before that). My daughter, Hannah, was finally conceived with no interventions and no drugs and she made it to her due date exactly–the only things I took were prenatals and (later) insulin for gestational diabetes.
I did have some reproductive issues and I took some drugs when my son was very little in hopes of hoping to maintain that pregnancy, and I did.
If you say you are committed to your boyfriend, and he to you, I believe you. I guess we all just are not sure why you’re not married, then. I’m sure he’s a great guy, and it sounds like his former girlfriend was a horrible person… but I hope for his sake, and the sake of any children you may have, that you get help. Please, whatever your hormones do, don’t take it out on yourself or (if you conceive) your unborn child. I pray you would seek forgiveness from God; He will forgive you. He can chase out the demons that plague you. I don’t know if they’re just metaphorical or if there are real demons involved in your case, but Jesus is stronger. He knows everything you’ve done, and He still loves you.
He loves us, too, and we’re all sinners. And because we follow him, we want to love you too. So we’re still praying for you. God bless you.