Fox News Medical A-Team psychiatrist: Men are traumatized by abortion
Giving would-be fathers a lack of veto power over abortions is connected psychologically to the epidemic of absentee fathers in this country. We can’t, on the one hand, be credible in bemoaning the number of single mothers raising their children, while, on the other hand, giving men the clear message that bringing new lives to the planet is the exclusive domain, and under the exclusive control, of women….
The notion that there is no emotional injury done men by depriving them of decision-making power as to whether the children they father are aborted is naïve.
Just in my own practice of psychiatry, I have listened to dozens of men express lingering, sometimes intense, pain over abortions that proceeded either without their consent, or without them having spoken up about their desires to bring their children to term and parent them….
And I am absolutely certain that no woman needs to become pregnant who wishes not to become pregnant. Women taking full responsibility for their sexual activity and their bodies would mean that no woman would face the prospect of being compelled to bring a child to term.
~ Dr. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team. Fox News Opinion, July 22
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Gutsy of him to say because he’ll catch hell for it. I’m glad he connected abortion to the crisis of absentee fathers and pointed out the hypocrisy of a society that will sue a man for child support but allow him no say whatsoever in whether his child lives or dies.
However, he never gets to the truth, which is that killing the child in the womb is morally wrong no matter whose decision it is. There is no justifying murdering our babies.
I think it is ridiculous when people try to act like abortion doesn’t effect men. One of my friends is still grieving his aborted baby, and that happened like three years ago. However, I think it’s very bad practice to give anyone veto power over a legal procedure done on someone else. If abortion is legal, you can’t give a man the power to stop a woman from obtaining one, if it is really about body autonomy. Just another reason for abortion to become illegal all together. I disagree with one part…
“And I am absolutely certain that no woman needs to become pregnant who wishes not to become pregnant. Women taking full responsibility for their sexual activity and their bodies would mean that no woman would face the prospect of being compelled to bring a child to term.”
Because there is no such thing as birth control failure, rape, or coercion.
So, Dr. Ablow: single motherhood isn’t ideal according to you, and neither is an absentee father – yet you are not so keen on marriage?
I have heard too many stories of men unable to save the lives of their children from abortion.
Absolutely heart wrenching.
This is the same guy who claimed Maria Shriver should not divorce Arnold, and basically blamed her for his infidelity, without ever speaking to them directly (as any good doctor should before trying to give advice to a patient).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNKB7XlQr50
Whatever you think of abortion, this guy is no “A” team. To call him a “B” team would be to brag on him. He is a hack.
“Just in my own practice of psychiatry, I have listened to dozens of men express lingering, sometimes intense, pain over abortions that proceeded either without their consent’
We are living amongst the most violent, brutal, cruel group of women in the history of mankind. Never in human history have women been so violent.
Abigail, you (and the commentators on the youtube clip) totally misrepresent what the doctor said. Having come back from the brink of divorce in my own marriage, I see the validity in his argument. His recommendations require selflessness, hope and reverence for the marriage covenant–things largely lost in our culture.
Dr Ablow is full of blow! Saying that a woman has total control over whether she gets pregnant or not – he needed to add that is if she is abstinent, in her menopausal years and is never raped.
As far a marriages go – we are a throw away society … don’t like this spouse this year or two – get rid of him/her and get a new model. HOWEVER, there are issues beyond a spouse’s control, such as physical, emotional and psychological abuse that are good reasons for divorce. As far as Maria and Arnold – the doctor seems to dismiss the emotional toll that Arnold’s behavior has put upon his family. I would pray that they could continue their marriage, but there does come a time when a spouse is permitted to say “enough is enough.”
I write from a very conservative viewpoint, understanding marriage as a sacrament, TK in TX and I am glad that you and your spouse were able to work things out – not everyone is so fortunate.
If one describes marriage as a sacrament, assuming a belief in Scripture, then abuse is not a reason for divorce but for separation.
You really don’t think abuse is a reason for divorce? What about abuse of children by one spouse? I don’t understand the arguments against divorce in Christianity for these situations at all.
Jack any so-called Christian including a counselor or pastor who tells a woman to stay with an abuser whether it is spousal or child abuse is “sick”. I have friends who are ministers who say they counsel women to leave these situations asap (they even help women to get out safely). However, I knew a woman who said she was told by her minister to “submit and stay” with her sick, abusive husband who verbally and physically abused her right in front of her children and I encouraged her to get out of this so-called “church” as fast as she could.
That’s sounds like the church I was raised in. Prolifer L. They did a lot worse stuff than that too. I find the lack of compassion galling. It certainly never seemed that Biblical.
Many men want to eliminate the financial obligation fathers have to support children. Under the current system, the female alone can decide to give birth. They argue that the sole choice as to whether or not to bring a baby into the world gives her sole responsibility.
Should the legal obligation of fathers to support children be eliminated?
If it is, what are the results likely to be for our society?
The worst case is going to be that of the father that refuses to pay child support because he had no say in whether the child was allowed to be born or not. In other words, this whole my body, my choice, is eventually, if it hasn’t already, going to turn around and bite the women who do keep their babies in the rear. Just as men have no power over the decision to abort, they have no power over the decision to keep the baby. So, in a choice to keep the baby made solely by the mother, the father could argue, her body, her choice, her responsibility. Sad, but every coin has two sides and this very disturbing side is bound to find its way to the top eventually.
People don’t really think of the full implication of their selfish actions. In taking the power to save a life from the father, they have also given them power to deny support of a life that they didn’t have a say in keeping. These pro abort feminists should really think things through a little better and start taking care of the problem at it’s roots. Not ready for a baby= not ready for sex. Abstinence until marriage!
God bless,
Cristina
“The worst case is going to be that of the father that refuses to pay child support because he had no say in whether the child was allowed to be born or not.”
A father cannot refuse to pay child support. He can run and hide out but otherwise he will be paying support. Many abusive men try to coerce women to abort by telling them he will not pay them anything. Wrong.
If he will not or is not fit to help parent, he still will be required by law to help financially. We need to make sure women know this.
I am sorry to hear about your abusive childhood Jack and the “church” standing by while this was happening to you. Please understand this was NOT the majority of Christians who would endorse such acts.
On this topic of men being unable to have a say regarding whether their sexual partners have an abortion but being required to pay child support, I have explained to teens and young adults that they will ”pay to play”. I emphasize especially to young men that they may have consequences to engaging in sexual activity they never imagined or intended. There is no such thing as a “free lunch”, the physical, emotional, mental, social, financial, economic and spiritual consequences of sex are life-changing and even potentially life-ending (especially for precious, innocent, unborn babies), the potential consequences to their future marriage and their future family are huge as well. It is true that their are plenty of men who pressure women to abort but there are totally opposite situations also. I know of young men who have been devastated by child custody issues who wanted to be good fathers and were denied access to their child when the girlfriend moved on to a new relationship, men who did not want their child aborted but were told “shut up it is not your decision” and I have met a young man who picked up his newborn baby from the hospital because the girlfriend wanted nothing to do with him or their child. PP and their proponents has sold America a bunch of lies. There is no such thing as “safe sex” and there will never be such a thing, no matter how many pills, shots, IUDs, vaccines and condoms you hand out. ”Condoms don’t protect the heart”, neither are they failproof for many other potential consequences as well. Research shows that 2/3rds of teens who have had sex regret their decision to have sex.
I often wonder if it is fair for a man to pay child support if the mother unilaterally decides not to have an abortion. Is this not just a trap? The girl never graduated high school and has no plans to get a job so she gets pregnant to collect welfare and child support… When the man never wanted to be a father in the first place.
I just think that if the mother wants to not have an abortion and the father does, she should wave her rights to child support if she is going to make the decision all on her own. If she wants him to stay out of it then that means his wallet too… I have far too many friends who pay mass amounts of money to women who hate their guts for children they are never allowed to see… not to mention all the drama that come along with it… I know quite a few guys who met girls and were very up front about not wanted to be a father, the girls just shined them on with reassuring promises of birth control and an abortion if there were any accidents, only to have them be their baby-mama for the rest of their lives. I have seen these girls use their kids like poker chips and leverage against the father… It is wrong to use children that way and wrong to trap men that way. How would you like to grow up knowing that your father never wanted to be your father in the first place and your mother has been living off of your father and the state in your name…
To JackBorsch regarding his July 24 post:
Abuse is reason not only for separation of spouses but also for professional counseling. The abuser needs counseling to learn why he/she abuses and to find ways to avoid illegitimate anger and to express legitimate anger nonviolently. The spouse and children need counseling to help deal with the horribly harmful effects of the abuse. When it is safe for the abuser and spouse to see each other again, further counseling is needed to heal and restore the relationship. Then when the children are no longer in danger, the family can reunite. If the abuser refuses to go to counseling or refuses to cooperate with counseling, then the spouses remain separated during the time of refusal. God designed marriage to be a sign of His unending, faithful covenant with us. Divorce destroys this sign and thus works against our seeing God’s unending love for us. We must always strive to help the victims get out of an abusive situation, and to answer the question, no, abuse is not a reason for divorce.
Even in situations with sexual abuse of a minor, Im4Life? That isn’t really something that can be counseled away.
JackBorsch, I agree something as heinous as sexual abuse can never be counseled away. I would say the point of counseling, like forgiveness, is never designed to make something go away or to wipe any slate clean. Counseling would hopefully give a person tools to acknowledge the experience and its effects in order to overcome the damage. As Im4life said, there is a solution which is neither divorce nor continuing to live under the roof of an abuser. The answer is separation.
I personally would question the stability and mentality of anyone who chooses to separate, rather than divorce, a spouse who has sexually abused anyone to say nothing of a child.
I separated from a spouse who refused to get counseling and blamed me for his drinking and abuse. During the separation and before support was ordered, he moved in with and helped support another woman and her child, bought her an engagement ring, and started building a house with her while me and our children were going to the food pantry.
I am now happily remarried and eleven years later he is still abusive. The answer is divorce.