Stanek weekend question I: What would you tell your 15-year-old self today?
Planned Parenthood FAQ asked an interesting question on Twitter this week:
What would you go back and tell your 15- year-old self today?
Some of the responses were:
- Make mistakes to know who you are. Also, self, seriously, learn the term ‘heteronormative’ now, so you can argue it later! Boys are wrong.
- You’re not a “feminazi.” You’re bold, smart, strong.
- You’re not an “equalitist.” You’re a feminist. Be proud! (cc: my college self.) And treat your body well. It’s not the enemy.
- Forget about boys, being popular and looking good. Instead grow a healthy mind, body and spirit.
- [P]eople love you for who you are. You have more friends than you realise [sic].
What would you say to yourself?
Feb.25, 2012 8:34 am |
Weekend question |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
“An interesting question” that’s been done before.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jgUcxMezM
Pro-abortion and pro-homosexual teachers and students had no right to impose their views on you or to belittle your point of view. Be more politically active and speak louder, more often, and stronger. And be less afraid, love Christ more, read the Bible more often, study philosophy, don’t accept other people’s version of history. Read any books that you can find by the Saints. Live like you have an eternal life.
I would tell myself that family is the most important thing. All the friends I wanted to impress…they won’t be there in a few years. And stop stressing over yearbook colors. Life turns out pretty good…
This is such a great question!!!
Stop reading Cosmopolitan. You are not validated by your sexual desirability, so stop trying so hard. Hold on: it will take a while, but there is true love waiting for you. Don’t spend a second worrying about what other people think of you, especially your mom.
Mostly, I would just love to go back and see my 15 year old self and give her a big, long hug and whispher into her (my) ear: You’re beautiful. Believe that.
Stop wearing those platform flip-flops. Really. They look dumb, they give you (and everyone else) perma-blister, and when you are a senior they will make you hydroplane in the run-off from an overflowing boys’ bathroom, and you will fall and get soaked in heaven knows what. In front of everyone. Just stop.
Don’t listen to that math teacher. You are good at math. You will make it to calculus. You will even be a math tutor one day. The world will go on.
You have a pretty good handle on yourself and your responsibilities. You make good choices. You don’t need to be told that you’re strong, smart, or capable. You do need to be told to relax a little bit. It’s okay to be weak, uninformed, or incapable sometimes. If you never let yourself need help, then you will never get to experience the wonder, humility, and joy of accepting help from a friend.
You know, on further reflection, I’m pretty sure my late-20s current self should be taking advice from my 15-year old self, not vice versa! I was a pretty together teenager. :/
Oh, and stop with the Sun-in already! LOL! Do they even make that anymore?
Ask to see a psychiatrist.
Consider a foster family.
1) He was the one who started acting mean to you. That doesn’t mean you have license to talk about him behind his back.
2) You think this is a dark phase you’re going through? Be prepared. It gets worse before it gets better.
3) Focus more on your family and less on yourself.
4) You’re bright enough to let things slide in high school easily, but you ought to work hard anyway, because college is going to hit you like a ton of bricks.
5) I really wish you could have made it to March for Life like you wanted.
You need a healthy reproductive system in order to be the mother of healthy children in the future. The BCP can disrupt that. Do not let boyfriends or girlfriends destroy your committment to remain chaste until marriage. You may need to teach your guy friends that because most have no clue. Most American men are too macho to teach their sons the same principles. Tell yourself and them about STDs and their possible negative affects on future fertility. Tell them that a penis is not a weapon!!! It is not your job to entertain men or women sexually. Beware of where you socialize because you could be in danger. Socialize with a group of trusted friends. Never leave a drink of anything unattended. Do not engage in seductive behavior because it sends the wrong message. Request to meet your boyfriends family early, drop him if he does not respond. Be mindful that your friends are responsible for their behavior and you are for yours. Be strong. You were bought for a price and His name is Jesus. He lived on this earth for 33 year and He did not die from not having sex!!! No one has died from abstinance aka as chastity!!!!
Courtnay, I went to high school with an entire population of orange girls!!!
I almost forgot: get a haircut, forget about collecting comic books (you’re fifeteen!!), and don’t try jumping off that table-top dirt mound with your BMX bike – it doesn’t work out like you planned.
Actually, this could take me all day or longer to finish.
1. Movies do not reflect the real world.
2. QUIT SMOKING!
By “choice” they mean “abortion”. That means ending a pregnancy AFTER it’s begun, and yes, that involves the death of the baby.
Pay more attention to your family, they’re gonna expect you to remember what happened later. They are not out to get you.
DON’T TAKE FOR GRANTED THAT PEOPLE GOING INTO THE HOSPITAL WILL COME OUT ALIVE. Go visit your uncle IMMEDIATELY after you hear he’s gone in and thank him for scaring the crap outta that boy who felt up your thigh in HS.
Don’t listen to those lies about what you HAVE to experience in your youth in order to have “lived”. It’s crap. Do what you know is right and pray for those who “lived” and are now broken, scarred and full of regret. You are right, it’s not worth it :)
One day every spiritual experience you think you’ve had until now will be dwarfed into inconcequentiality when Jesus Himself calls you and teaches you the Truth. Yes, He’s REAL. Yes, He’s ALIVE. Right now:) So be polite, cause you’ll feel bad about everything you said when you look Him in the face later.
Can I go back in time and tell Tyler’s 15 year old self that comic books are cool and there’s nothing wrong with collecting them?
1.) Make sure you study the chapter in the book pertaining to the corresponding test on the corresponding date. I know we never study, but once you graduate, it’s gonna be a whole new ballgame, and you HAVE to make certain you’re studying the right chapter.
2.) Under no circumstances will you move to California. Ever. For any reason.
3.) Once you graduate, don’t go back home until Dad promises to get some anger management counseling. Don’t just ignore this b.s. and let it keep going. If it’s going to on its own anyway, don’t facilitate it by acting like it isn’t happening or that it isn’t a problem.
4.) You’re a good girl. We know that. I’m proud of you. Remember that. :)
“Have more confidence in yourself and your abilities”! “Just because so many people put you down still doesn’t mean THEY are right”.
I only wish I COULD go back and do it all over again. There’s no telling what I could have been today if I’d gained more self-confidence THEN. :(
You know, I was already ‘me’ at 15 and there are extremly few choices I regret. I think really the only thing would be: senior year when lawyers and elders at the church are telling you that you have a strong case and their are Christian lawfirms that would represent you…don’t turn it down just because there aRe too many ppl who jump at the chance to sue and you don’t want to be classed among them. No, it won’t help you, but it might help someone else and you’ll regret not doing it.
I would tell myself that my parents are not gods, they did not have the right to do whatever they wanted. I would tell me to call the cops and get some help.
I would also tell myself that drugs never make anything better, and to get help before the addiction got too out of control and almost killed me.
And, I would tell myself that my childhood was not indicative of my entire life, and that if I could get through this I would be happy one day.
You know, I was already ‘me’ at 15 and there are extremly few choices I regret.
I agree, Jespren! I think I was pretty cool, and wise, when I was 15. I don’t see much difference between me at 15 and me today, really. Except for those platform flip flops. ;)
Go easy on yourself, kid. You’re just at the doorstep of a big, complicated, adult universe where most of the rules you were taught will not be obeyed by very many people. Take your time and try not to rush into figuring out what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. You’ll need a good number of experiences in your twenties before that vision is even formed, let alone, crystallized.
Most of all, laugh at yourself and your mistakes, because you’re going to make a lot of them. Then be as quick to forgive yourself as you are forgiving of others.
Learn and move on.
From a 50yo-ish friend:
Comic books seem to be an unexpectedly frequent topic here.
That boy you tease in homeroom is going to be the handsomest and most successful guy at the 20 year reunion and he’s going to come back and snub you all!
That other boy you all fight over? He’s going to get sloppy and yucky and he’s not going anywhere.
So keep studying!
Alexandra wrote:
You know, on further reflection, I’m pretty sure my late-20s current self should be taking advice from my 15-year old self, not vice versa! I was a pretty together teenager. :/
:) A fondness for math must have done it. (I’m an outlier in the data from that principle, mind you.)
I think I’d tell myself: “Can you please direct me to the nearest time-machine, so that I can return and not muddle up our life (and most of history) with paradoxes galore?” :)
I can’t help but think of what my father says: “If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn’t; I know I’d just goof it up even more, and make it twice as bad!”
spend a lot of time with your dad, he won’t be around forever
your mom is right 95% of the time
you’ll meet the love of your life in late 20-ies, don’t waste your time with others
accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour sooner rather than later
true love waits
read books, study and learn to play a guitar instead of drinking vodka
Not to take a drink of that alcohol.
That you are loved by God your Father even if you don’t have the earthly, fatherly love that a young girl needs and no matter how dysfunctional your home life is.
Don’t get into the car with stoned and/or drunk drivers. Ever!
You will have lots more fun hanging out with the nerdy Catholics, Mormons, evangelicals than the “in” girls.
Gossiping stinks- don’t do it, and change the subject.
Enjoy your Mom and Dad and siblings- don’t resist family time, help plan it when you can. Pretty soon you will be away from your nuclear family, and you’ll miss them terribly. Younger brothers are more endearing than annoying in the long run.
Be stingy with your dates and kisses. You won’t want to remember lots of the guys you date. Focus on finding an interesting, kind, and faithful guy who respects women and loves kids.
Keep praying, stay close to Jesus, and do not focus on OR bury pain. Ask again for a good counselor to help with childhood sex abuse memories. Don’t let that go.
Take it from me/you! 20 years later… You are NOT fat! Enjoy your skinny self now!
“Don’t buy all those delicious hot-fudge sundaes from the school cafeteria just because they’re there. They will really grow on you — literally.” (In fact they’ll probably never leave you).
“Your mom actually says some stuff worth knowing. Such as “Why spend all that money on hair straightener? Naturally curly hair is so beautiful.'” (Fortunately I didn’t manage to take ALL the curl out permanently).
“You know all those people at school you never talk to? Well, some of them, when you are grown up and meet them later, will turn out to be pretty cool. Why not get to know them now?” (In reality, I wasn’t snobbish, just very shy).
“Just because Sister Elisabeth gave you an F in handwriting doesn’t mean you have to give up trying to write legibly for the rest of your life.” (Only F I ever got in my school career).
“And oh yeah – learn to write without overuse of parentheses.” (Ha!)
Alexandra, well, I’ve never been cool, and I was only wise enough to listen to the wisdom of my elders, but that’s still true. ;)
But even my sense of style is unchanged. In fact I still have (and wear) clothes that I got in high school. I went through my last significant personality shift at about 14, although my clothing did change in my 15th year, because I changed from jeans to skirts full time. But that wasn’t really a personality shift so much as a response to moving to a large public school where I felt uncomfortable.
But feminists DO regard their bodies as the enemy. They treat their fertility as a disease, and seek to remove “unwanted pregnancies”, which they view as a PART of their bodies. If a fetus is a part of the woman’s body, then getting rid of it means your body is indeed the enemy.
I’d say, “Man, you have a heck of a ride ahead of you, hold on!”
It’s been good – I’d change very, very little. I’ve done dumb things with people, with money, with booze…. But where does wanting to be able to “go back and change a couple things” turn into wishing our lives away?
“Stay in college and finish it.” Bill Gates is just a couple years older than me, and I was a Computer Science major, so who knows what would have happened.
Or, “don’t waste time with college, and here’s what you do….” I’m really leaning toward that one there.
Didn’t get married until I was 41 years old. Totally would not change that.
“Don’t spend 42,875 hours of your life arguing your fool head of on message boards.” Hmm… That one might work. ;)
Jespren: But even my sense of style is unchanged. In fact I still have (and wear) clothes that I got in high school.
WOW Jespren, that’s great! Kudos!
Maybe I’d tell myself, “There is NO such thing as pizza!”
— Doug (“Twice the man he used to be”) ;) :) :)
“Will you tell me what it is you want to do with your life? Because I still have no idea.”
Get on The Pill!!!! It will help your breasts to grow and regulate your periods. It won’t force you to have partnered sexual activity but will take your mind off pregnancy.
Not Getting Pregnant is a great achievement at your age but will wear out in a few years which is why you need to learn to DO as well as to NOT DO. When you’re an adult, people ask what you do, not what you don’t.
LOL @ the one who ADMITS she doesn’t want to be equal – as if women deserve MORE than men some how.
If I could go back in time and talk to my 15 year old self I’d tell her to stop trying to make her own god and follow the one she claimed to follow.
http://www.needGod.com
I especially like the response above, “Stop reading Cosmopolitan.” I’m using that one!
So, I would tell my 15-year-old self:
Stop reading Cosmopolitan, stop sneaking it into the house and hiding it under your mattress. It doesn’t do it any good, and the sex-infused articles and images in that magazine will ultimately destroy your teenage years. You don’t look cute in those red, glittery jeans and cut-off, low-cut shirt that you sneak out in. Be more outspoken: you know what’s wrong, stand for it. Spend time with your dad: your days with him are extremely limited. Stay away from that one guy you’ll meet in two years: he will ruin you. Wait for the man you’re with 7 years from now: he treats you like gold. Lastly, love yourself, respect yourself, stay away from the things you KNOW are wrong, and love God above anything else.
I could go on and on…
**Addition to my above post**
When your doctor prescribes you the birth control pill to relieve those cramps that cause you to vomit, pass out, and lose 4 days out of your month: don’t fill the prescription. If you do fill it, you’re going to take the pill for the next 5 years of your life. During your first years taking it, you’re not ‘cool’ for flaunting, thinking it makes you look like an adult. Just shut up about it. Guys (and girls) will spread rumors about you that you’re only taking it because you’re having sex with almost every guy in the school, but you’ll be too naive to realize that simply because you’re getting attention. Even though you’re taking it for your cramps, your reputation will suffer and it will eventually hit you like a brick wall. Instead, start eating more spinach, stop drinking coffee, take iron and potassium supplements, and pop some naproxen sodium and acetominaphen. It works like a charm (for the most part) and it’s much more healthy for you.
Just because she Wants you does not mean she loves you. The right girl is out there, WAIT WAIT WAIT. What you do now will hurt the one you love more than you would beleive, and more than you would ever willingly do. And Seriously, if you think having sex is fun it is nothing compaired to making love, and nothing at all to making love when hoping to make life.
P.S. I would say the army will not want you, because of your eyes so pick a collage, but the aformentioned right girl was at the Comumity collage so that could have ended badddly.
Katy, if you had been raped during that time period, being on the Pill might have prevented a pregnancy.
Am I the only one here who really likes the Pill?
And I was a virgin while taking it!
I’d say, “You’re doing ok” and detour to my almost-12-year-old self and tell him to convince your father that you didn’t have to sell off your comic book collection for nickels and dimes just because you’re moving. It would be worth a million $ today.
Hans, good one!
Read the Bible for abundant LIFE and relationship with God.
Then find a saved Christian who puts God first. (Don’t settle!)
Don’t feel pressured to want to marry so young, regardless of what others friends are doing.
Go to college right out of high school and get that degree.
$ave more money.
LL
Buy a pair of boots and DUCK!
I do not support the pill.
Not only does it do terrible things to your body (have you seen all the lawsuits going on?) but it also causes abortions.
Book only costs $1.99: http://www.amazon.com/Does-Birth-Control-Cause-Abortions/dp/0970001606
Condensed version free: http://www.epm.org/resources/2010/Feb/17/short-condensation-does-birth-control-pill-cause-a/
Right, Denise. The fact that I happened to be on the Pill at the time made being raped SOOO much better.
Seriously, do you even realize how insensitive that comment is?
Whoa…she didn’t say “make it better” she said “prevent a pregnancy.”
You are right, Amber. I overreacted, and I apologize. I guess it got to me because I recently got “Well, at least you didn’t get pregnant” when arguing abortion and rape with a pro-choicer, when 1) an “I’m sorry” would have been the appropriate response, at least in a precursor to that, and 2) I’m struggling with trying to have a baby.
In other words, I’m a bit oversensitive at the moment.
<3 sorry to hear that Kate.
I’m sorry that happened to you, Kate. I hope you are doing well and getting help.
*hugs* Thank you both.
I see that “learn to calm yourself” is definitely what I should tell my 15-year-old self. :P
Totally okay, Kate, I do the same thing often when people are discussing sexual abuse and trigger a response in me. It is certainly understandable.
I am worth the wait.
Boy oh boy. Knowing what I do now and having experienced what I have, whatever I said to a 15 year old me would probably change my life’s course to a notable extent. And that would mean that I would probably have something quite different to say to a 15 year old me. And that would mean I’d be different again now so I’d say something different again to a 15 year old me! It all gets too confusing when we play with periods of time and try to change things. We’ve all seeen the films :-)
But seriously, I would advise me not to get married when I did or to who I did. But at 15, would I listen?
“Get on The Pill!!!! It will help your breasts to grow and regulate your periods.”
Yes, and to that I would add that those nice big breasts grew because the pill stimulated the doubling of the breast lobules, which are made of immature and cancer-prone cells. The pill did this by initiating the growth that normally and naturally takes place during the first half of pregnancy.
However, the pill doesn’t give you the placental lactogen made in the second half of pregnancy, which converts 85% of the immature cells to cancer-resistant cells.
Worse still, the estrogen metabolites actually damage the DNA in those immature cells turning more, and more, and more of them pre-cancerous every month you are on the pill, with estrogen and estrogen metabolites at thousands of times their normal levels.
As the years go by my dear, you will have big breasts that are ticking time-bombs, and the longer you delay a first full-term pregnancy, the greater your chances of those lovely large breasts becoming cancerous. How much risk for women who start the pill before the age of 18?
540% increased risk for the deadliest form of breast cancer (triple negative breast cancer) by age 40, according to Dr. Jessica Dolle and Dr. Louise Brinton (head of epidemiology at the National Cancer Institute).
But yes, at 15 you definitely need large breasts filled with cells on their way to cancer.
Gotta love those little pills.
I would tell my 15 year old self that the Pope (Paul VI) was correct – the Pill accelerates and expands the debasement of women. (Humanae Vitae had just been written when I was a 15 year old Catholic girl).
See guys as people first and not as lovers. You can wait and so can they. Do more volunteer work and you’ll have less time to fantasize about boys.
Be authentic and don’t use people. Don’t let them use you.
Trust Mom and Dad – not Planned Parenthood or boyfriends who derisively say they can’t believe you are still a virgin. There are plenty of virgins and they’re nice people.
Have the discussion about consequences before having sex. It will be excruciating painful to learn he doesn’t really love you enough to stand by you and your baby when the contraception fails.
Denise,
if you wanted extra boobs, my 15 year old self would’ve gladly donated her surplus. I HATED wearing bras, and genetics were…overly generous to me at puberty. It interfered with my tree-climbing and horsing around.
Seriously. All 15 year olds should be told that having big boobs is totally overrated by their older selves.
For Gerard and X: Many years after I STOPPED taking the Pill, the breast growth remained. Then I had a breast augmentation and my breasts are can fit into a small D or large D cup. In the years since the augmentation, I have been glad of it every single day. I am 1000 times more comfortable with my chest area than I was when it was flat. Even now, I usually DON’T wear bras. I’m like abortion opponent Jayne Mansfield in that respect. Bras are linked with cancer so maybe that’s helped me avoid it.
Unlike so many women, I’ve NEVER had an abortion. The Pill would have been helpful because I wouldn’t have had “she might get a boyfriend and get pregnant” constantly hovering over my head. To avoid pregnancy, I spent almost all my free time in my room during my teen years. During summers, I virtually hibernated. This DID help as far as pregnancy.
However, when I was an adult, people weren’t impressed any longer with “at least she’s not pregnant.” The fact that I’d developed a psychiatric disorder and couldn’t hold down a job became a source of terrible frustration. You can’t say, “At least I’ve never had an abortion” and have someone had you money. I DID get on disability eventually so that was helpful.
I was a “good girl” but all that time hiding in my room and listening to the radio developed no marketable skills. It just kept the abortionist away.
Clarice: “Will you tell me what it is you want to do with your life? Because I still have no idea.”
:)
Maybe the purpose of life is to figure out the purpose of life….?
Reality: But at 15, would I listen?
Word!
All too often, 15-year-old girl isn’t looked at as a full human being. They are THE THINGS THAT CAN GET PREGNANT. Take pregnancy off the table and they will be viewed as persons.
To avoid pregnancy, I spent almost all my free time in my room during my teen years. During summers, I virtually hibernated. This DID help as far as pregnancy.
Denise, you bring this period of your life up a lot. Did anyone ever tell teenage-you that you didn’t have to hibernate in your room to avoid getting pregnant? Whoever it was that told you that you had to do NOTHING AT ALL, EVER to avoid teen pregnancy should be strongly admonished. The truth is, you can do EVERYTHING – everything except have sex – and not get pregnant. Staying busy kept me un-pregnant just like hibernating in your room kept you un-pregnant. During the school year, I was president of the French club, president of the community service club, and in every academic honor society except the science one (stupid chemistry); I played in two community orchestras, I babysit an 8-year old boy after school each day, and I worked a part-time job on the weekends. I hung out in the library with my friends, studying and sneaking Thin Mints in when we thought the librarians weren’t looking. I went to homecomings and proms, and dances at schools I didn’t even attend. I earned a full scholarship to several colleges, including textbooks and transportation on major holidays, based on my grades and my extracurriculars and my community service.
In the summers, I REALLY got busy. When I was 15 I spent six weeks in Europe, practicing my French and skiing in the Swiss Alps and getting stung by a jellyfish in a tiny camping town in Italy. I played in a summer youth orchestra that practiced every day and put on free public concerts every Friday and Saturday night. I jammed in weekly chamber music sessions – not for show, just for a few hours of fun each Wednesday night – with three retired musicians who generously accepted me as their cellist even though I was nowhere near their skill level. I worked more hours at my job to save up money for school-year expenses like prom dresses and field trip dues. I attended every one of the free NY Philharmonic park concerts I could get to. I volunteered at the library. Once I could drive, my best friend and I went on penny-pinched road trips to Massachusetts to get the cheap lawn tickets and see the Boston Pops play. I went hiking and camping and swimming. Sometimes I just drove, and drove, and drove; I had an ancient, creaky VW Cabrio, and you could drive even just 15mph with the top down and feel like you owned the whole world.
After high school, I got a full-time job and managed a staff of 105 people older than myself. I cared for my sick mother. I went to community college, to stay close to home and close to my mom, and befriended several of my professors, indulging in long debates and discussions that went well beyond office hours. I took paralegal courses and won ethics debates and had the Brooklyn DA give me his card as a result of my performance in a debate he attended. I was lucky to learn early on, ie pre-degree and pre-law school, that I DIDN’T actually want to be a lawyer.
Pretty much the only thing I DIDN’T do, in what I consider the ten years between my childhood and my adulthood (maybe 12-22), was have sex. Thus, I did not get pregnant. It is not exposure to the world that gets a young woman pregnant. It is being unable to deal with exposure to the world without compromising her core values. I don’t remember my parents EVER seeming concerned that I might get pregnant, or viewing me as a thing that could get pregnant. I was too busy to even sleep sometimes, too excited for today to even think about tomorrow. Sure, I liked boys, but I liked lots of other things, too; the world was so full of so many things worth liking that it was not necessary to ever compromise myself for any one thing, or any one person.
Anyone who told you that women are too weak to withstand living life in public was wrong. You were, and are, strong enough to be who you want to be, to do what you want to do. There are literally millions of ways to NOT be a pregnant teenager. I am so sorry that no one ever told you that, because it’s something you deserved to know.
Alexandra, I wish I could like your post more than once. I agree. DeniseNoe, You did not need to be holed up in your room all the time to keep from getting pregnant. I like Alexandra, kept rather busy and I didn’t get pregnant. I was in Native American Heritage Club, science club, spanish club, Family, Career and Community Leaders of America (FCCLA formerly FHA), choir, select choir, madrigal choir and colorguard. I spent my Fridays nights during the fall at all the football games. Once football season was over I spent my time working the concession stand at almost all the home basketball games. I constantly went on trips with FCCLA. I entered competions for FCCLA. I went to competitions with choir. We even went to NYC one year. We also did a spring musical every year. I had lots of friends whom I hung out with. I was probably at a friends’ house or with a school club function more than I was home. (It felt like it anyway) I had tons of fun. You know the one activitiy I didn’t do though? I didn’t have sex.
There is only one way of getting pregnant. That is having sex, whether that be consensual or rape. Yet, there are a million different ways to have fun without being holed up in your room. If what I am reading is correct, you holed yourself up. You could have gone out and had fun. You could have joined school clubs. You could have made proper friends who wouldn’t try to pressure you into something you didn’t want to do. You did not need to be on birth control to be able to leave your house and go do something fun or even to learn a new skill. I’m in my 20’s now and I have made it this far without BC. I have a life, I have fun with friends. I go out. I go to work. I do lots of things. I didn’t need BC to leave my house in high school. I don’t need it now. I choose to have fun in ways that don’t have the potential of leading to pregnancy.
Denise,
I am one of those gals that got huge boobs from the pill. It was terrifying and I immediately went off. I wasn’t 15, but was in my early 20’s. I wish I had been better informed about chemical b/c and hope and pray that my breasts haven’t been damaged by that experience. I hope the 5 years of breastfeeding had some benefit and outweighs the use of the pill.
Denise,
The hibernating in your room may well have been the early manifestations of your psychiatric disorder. Without knowing what that disorder is, I can hold out an example, such as Schizophrenia. It is pretty common for teens with emerging schizophrenia to be socially withdrawn and self-isolating. Missing out on the developmental stage where young people learn peer interactions in the safety of groups, they miss out on developing the requisite skill sets for navigating one-on-one intimacy in their twenties and early thirties. At that point the schizophrenia goes into full bloom for many.
In any event, fears over sex can be at once part of the problem (developing intimacy) and at the same time be confused as being the whole problem.
I’m a big proponent of encouraging young men and women to like their bodies just as they are, keeping them healthy and fit. Permitting breast enhancement in teens either through the use of the pill or surgery sends children the wrong message. Little boys want big breasts and certain looks. Real men love their wives as they are and would never find it acceptable for their wives to mutilate their bodies in the pursuit of some arbitrary standard of beauty.
For women to poison themselves with hormones, or mutilate themselves through unnecessary surgery, all to seem more acceptable to some gorilla should be a clue that he is unworthy of her. A worthy man treats his wife, and her body, with reverence. All other males need simply to be kicked to the curb.
The sum total of your worth can never be seen from the outside, Denise. It can only be seen through the eyes of love. I hope you have that in your personal life. I know you have it with many here.
God Bless.
“Okay kid, you’re gonna graduate High School, then work and save your money. Then Buy Apple Computer stock in 1980, and Microsoft in 1986.”
““Okay kid, you’re gonna graduate High School, then work and save your money. Then Buy Apple Computer stock in 1980, and Microsoft in 1986.””
Hah, I was born in 1988, I missed all the good opportunities. I suppose I could have told my 15-year-old self to buy stock in Google when I was sixteen, in 2004. :)
Alexandra,
You mean there are other things young people can do than have sex? What a novel concept! People should be told of this! :)
Jack, you’re making me feel old.
Like old enough to be your mama!
Lol, Courtnay, sorry. :P
Alexandra,
I know you and I have our differences from time to time…but…
Can my daughter be you when she grows up?
Denise:
If you were/are so very concerned with having large breasts for seemingly no other reason but being sexually attractive while simultaneously being repulsed and absolutely terrified of being in a heterosexual relationship that could cause pregnancy.
Do you realize how…not right…that sounds?
Thank you, Doctor Nadal, for articulating what I was thinking ever so much more eloquently than I would’ve been able to do it.