Planned Parenthoods in the State of  Texas have been drying up and blowing away like tumbleweeds since the legislature began shutting off the funding spigot in 2011. Since last May a lucky 13 mills have closed (12 plus 1).

So a $500,000 donation to Planned Parenthood would seem like a gift from, well, hell.

But the United States’ largest abortion provider has its standards.

That’s actually not the reason Planned Parenthood of Dallas rejected a half bmillion dollar gift from bestselling author Tucker Max, who coincidentally wrote, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, among other books I’ve never heard of but would be well suited for any Planned Parenthood library, such as Sloppy Seconds and A**holes Finish First.

No, in fact, pro-lifers can take a bow for infecting the organization with such paranoia that it decided its reputation couldn’t handle yet another hit. From Time:

It’s quite obvious that Planned Parenthood simply weighed the pros and cons. The organization wasn’t choosing between one closed clinic and a Tucker Max clinic. It was choosing between no clinics and a Tucker Max clinic.

While [brand strategist Ryan] Holiday writes that the donation would have been a case of “a win-win-win-win situation. Cut a check, keep a clinic open,” it quite obviously wasn’t that simple for the beleaguered organization. As Jill Filipovic points out at Feministe: “There are entire organizations and large numbers of politicians who have made it their mission to destroy Planned Parenthood. PP can’t afford to take unnecessary risks. Unnecessary risks can mean that the organization ceases to exist. That impedes their mission a hell of a lot more than not having an additional $500,000.”

For an organization that is constantly under attack from a right-wing base with a heavy religious following, accepted support from a man whose reputation is so incompatible with both Planned Parenthood and the GOP’s supposed values is nothing if not a political liability. Remember, this is the man who wants his name on a health clinic that provides abortions, among other services, because it would be funny. Associating themselves with Max would have all but guarantee that Planned Parenthood would face political backlash of some sort. It may be sad that an organization dedicated to providing women’s health services has to turn down a hefty donation in order to play political ball, but that’s the type of game that’s currently being played in the U.S.

PP’s hypocrisy is laughable. As Max pointed out in a rant against Planned Parenthood:

The Biggest Karmic Retribution: This whole thing went down in August. Since then, the Susan G Komen Foundation did the EXACT SAME THING TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD THAT PP DID TO ME. They threatened to pull funding because they didn’t like the perception that came with who the recipient of the money was. And of course, a TON of people got upset at the Komen Foundation–and rightfully so, its total bullshit–yet those SAME PEOPLE are now MAD AT ME because Planned Parenthood did to me what the Komen Foundation did to them. What preposterous f***ing irony.

In the wake of his rejection Max tweeted, then deleted (surely on the advice of counsel) his previously subliminal thoughts of Planned Parenthood and its clientele…