It’s a bittersweet time… I love being around my kids.
I’m not a particularly solitary person… I like a big, chaotic household — noise, commotion, laughter!
Sometimes I think I should have had six kids. Or I wish I’d had one [more] at 37, but I was busy. My career.
~ Katie Couric wistful over the missed opportunity of having more children when she was younger, in a Good Housekeeping interview, via US Magazine, August 19
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Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
… [A] government-funded organization just sent a representative to testify that she is not entirely sure a mother does not have an inalienable right to murder; the president whose administration funds her organization has expressed the exact same sentiments, and in fact voted on them — several times.
An honest culture, an honest media would consider this distinction:
– Todd Akin expressed an opinion supported by no one of his party, that was a part of no platform, that virtually no one alive had ever heard expressed before, whereas…– This demon in Florida is not the first to equivocate on murder; she has an ally in a high place, and belongs to a billion-dollar organization that has equivocated on “legitimate life” frequently and publicly.
One of these incidents deserves a national conversation — especially during the trial of Kermit Gosnell, a man who actually acted on the theory of “legitimate life,” and likely murdered hundreds.
But the other one got it.
~ David Steinberg, PJMedia.com, March 29
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I know quite a few middle-aged women in this predicament. Katie thankfully has children to fill her life and keep her from being utterly lonely. But some who gave their 20′s and 30′s to career, had a panic in their 40′s and tried to have a child–with or without a husband–and did not succeed. Now they’re in their 50′s and facing old age alone with their money. I understand that some women and men just never found the right person to marry. But many of them grew up thinking that marriage and family was a second-best life choice for people who didn’t have what it takes to be a success in life. It’s tragic.
Was this true of Nellie Gray? Even though she grew up in an era in which “nice girls” were expected to marry and have children, she did neither.
Well, even though it’s said that Katie didn’t have another kid, it’s refreshing to hear regret expressed about not being a mother, as opposed to the usual advice given to young women from the culture: don’t have kids and ruin your career! Your career and wants and desires are paramount! You won’t be fulfilled if you have kids!! Don’t get married and reproduce or you’ll be stuck forever.
It’s also refreshing to hear a “celebrity” talk about wanting six kids! Wow! Most people think four is too many.
Thanks, Ms. Couric for showing that family is in fact something to be desired and can be fulfilling in its own right. Sorry you didn’t have your sixth child.
I know how she feels. I had one daughter and my son is adopted. I always wanted to have another baby, but my marriage was not going well and it’s not a good idea to bring a baby into that situation. I thought that I would be happy when my children left the nest, but I remember crying half the day when my daughter left for college. I do miss having young children in my life and someday I would like to be a foster parent.
This is good for me to hear. My husband and I are in the thick of it, with four boys under 8. We have tons of noise, and dirt, and legos, and laughter. Its overwhelming, but wonderful. I call it a crazy adventure.
How insanely fun, Mary Ann!
Words like these make me feel like the walls are closing in on me.
Yeah. Tell it to me, sister friend.
But but wait….can’t she adopt? Wouldn’t you all say this is a good solution. Save all the babies from abortion!
she cannot adopt, as far as i know. she continues to be busy with career. she probabyl does not want to be like the career women who ‘adopt,’ but have a nanny or whoever do the actual parenting. she knows that.
anita baker won eight grammy’s then withdrew from the biz to have and raise two children. ten years later she got back to work. She released ‘you are my everything’ and its album and got 2 grammy nominations based on that.
it can be done. in the old days, family was heavily valued. having kids and having them ‘honor’ you was heavily valued.
now, we would rather have ’career’ to make us happy, or bring us honor, instead of kids. that is progress.
where did these values come from? that is a good question.
if we consider that these values popped up in the 1950s, and full force in the 1970s, we have only been at this for a generation or two.
we are only really recently figuring out the risks of birth defects assoc with delaying child-bearing past 40. we are really only in the last decade becoming very aware of how difficult fertility treatment can be.
seeing these ideas not pan out, the pendulum is swinging back to -gasp – something that was a liberal insult in the reagan years – ‘family values.’
man, we had great fun throwing the ‘family values’ insult at anyone we could. that was second place, right up there with calling someone ‘racist.’ loved it. that got a lot of cred in the liberal circles back in the day.
Do most men enjoy “careers”? Many men work in sewers, as garbage collectors, and janitors. Do they have “careers”?
I’ve mentioned before a close friend who is a man. He was all right with his job when it consisted of a combination of calling to confirm, taking orders over the phone and explaining the company’s service, and occasional filing. Then the company laid off everyone but him and another man. The nature of the job changed to telemarketing. He made about 300 phone calls a day to recite a spiel. He was lucky to get 2-3 “leads” out of all those calls.
He HATED his job. He called it “torture.” He actually dreaded making the calls. Often people were upset to be called and said something nasty to him. (Odd thing: we’ve got this big controversy over the reluctance of girls and women to suffer the ordeal of pregnancy but we’ve also got controversy over the inconvenience — and the word “inconvenience” is correct in this context — of solicitation calls.)
He was fired. Is he delighted to be living on unemployment insurance? No, he’s not. But neither does he pine for his “career.” He doesn’t miss the phone calls. He is not bored and at loose ends. He looks for jobs and when he isn’t doing that he does housework or yard work, reads, listens to music and visits friends. He has 2 dogs that he loves dearly and enjoys time spent with them.
“Careers” aren’t always that fulfilling or glamorous.
I have a brother who is a middle-aged childless bachelor. He doesn’t like his “career” as a cook in a rather expensive restaurant. I asked how he would feel about being a “Mr. Mom” and he answered. “For the past several years, I’ve been mashing lambs’ testicles up into sandwiches. I’d just as soon stay home and change a few poopee diapers!”
I know lots of people who have 6 children. One family has 6 children under age 9, and when they come visit my neighbors, they destroy my garden. I always cringe when I see them coming, wondering what destruction will occur this time. The mother doesn’t watch them, but lets them roam unattended or expects the older children to watch the younger children. But I am the one who ends up having to watch them, if I don’t want my plants destroyed and flowers beheaded. If you want to have 6 children, fine, but please be in a position to supervise them, and don’t just let them wreak havoc on and run ragged over others who had no part in creating your 6 children. Having your plants destroyed is no fun. Just because you want 6 children doesn’t mean other people want the responsibility of watching and disciplining your children pawned off on them, because you are too tired or busy to do an adequate job of parenting yourself.