Happy Condom Week!
My goodness, the celebration has expanded! Not too long ago, there was only National Condom Day, celebrated in conjunction with Valentine’s Day (i.e., “VD,” get it?). Now the sexual balloon fest lasts an entire week. Reported Planned Parenthood in an email alert February 14:
Here’s the greatest condom commercial ever, in PP’s opinion, promoting casual sex with a caveat: “You gotta use a ticket if you want to ride the ride”…
This seems like a good time to remind you that Consumer Reports rated Planned Parenthood’s condoms the 2nd worst of 23 it tested in 2005. Not that there is a connection between that and the fact PP is the United States’ largest abortion provider.
[HT: Steven Brody of Dubuque Co. Right to Life]
Feb.17, 2009 4:30 pm |
Contraception, Industry watch |
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
Maybe it’s just me, but I really don’t see a problem telling people they should use a condom if you want to have sex.
Jodes, here is the problem: Notwithstanding the moral issues here, it is proven that condoms are ineffective in protecting against all STD’s. By distributing condoms to it’s customers, Planned Parenthood is encouraging young users to risk their sexual health in a manner similar to russian roulette. It is no wonder that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study on the prevalence of STD’s showed 25% of teens as having contracted STD’s.
I think PP deliberately has poor testing C’s so they can make money off the failed ones that don’t prevent pregnancy. They earn $$$$ for the abortions that happen due to failure.
Oh great. The only thing better than being married Valentines Day… being married on Vanerial Disease Day. Furthermore, National Condom Day. Fantastic.
So. I’m all for waiting for marriage, that’s great. But the fact is that most people aren’t going to wait. So if you ARE going to have sex, be it casual or within a committed relationship, wearing a condom is a MUST! For casual sex there is absolutely no exception whatsoever, I don’t care what anyone says. But if you’re in a relationship with someone who you KNOW has no STIs then another form of BC is okay, like the Pill or whatever. When my sister went on the Pill I was so relieved I nearly cried. She is such a bright girl but she is NOT mature enough to handle a baby or even a pregnancy. True, I wish she weren’t having sex at all, but knowing that she is being careful makes me SO grateful.
I remember going to PP to get condoms. Funny thing was they would give me like 20 at a time when I was 14 years old. Instead of asking me why I was having intercourse so early, or if I was on any other contraceptive, or if me or my partner had been checked for STD’s lately.
I was never educated on the risks of STD’s, emotional issues of having sex early, pregnancy risks or any other risks accociated with secual relations.
Education is key on this subject though. Condom’s are not a bad thing if people are properly educated on all risks of not using them. While waiting for marriage is ideal it is not happening in this society. So how about educating those who choose to have sex on being safe and using a condom everytime.
I couldn’t agree more, Krystal.
Hey Jill, what do you think of this video?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQoOb7glCG8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_P8QXY07d3k
Whoa, here’s a really interesting one.
Okay last one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtfINUwalLA
The sad thing, the very, very sad thing about this is that people are going to hell directly because of Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood is not your friend. They are your mortal enemies because they are enemies of God and His principles.
Know this young people, Christ is the answer. Christ is the answer. Christ is the answer.
Galatians 5: “16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”
Don’t let the enemy of your soul, satan, take all that you have. He is a liar, a thief and a destroyer.
Find a bible based church. Go to the pastor there and ask him to lead you to acceptance of Christ and baptism into the body of Christ before it is too late.
hey I just learned about Condom testing. Interesting! I wonder why they chose that air test? Not the best test afterall…… But maybe it was the easiest for them? Hmmmmm
oh my! Straight to he’ll? You know this for a fact Hisman?
Asitisnt:
Please read the verse repreated here for your bebfit: “19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
Asitisnt:
Please read the verse repeated here for your benefit: “19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
oh my gosh Hisman! That pretty much proves it!
Asitis,
Come back to Christ. He is waiting for you.
oh Jasper.
Hi gals – Pro choice forever! Keep fighting the good fight.
Go Obama go!
I bet you wouldn’t be saying that “Bill” if you were retired and needed someone in the workforce to provide your social security payments……
We have 50 Million **less** future tax payers because of abortion.
And we have a social security crisis, too.
and 50 million less people that will need social security themselves
Liz, Liz – you’re retired… now I understand why you’re probably spending so much time on this site. I think your facts are off. Regardless, you should find a hobby. Maybe one that’s pro-women. Supporting blog sites designed to take choice away from the “next generation” of women is probably not the best use of your time… especially if you’re worried about empowering the next generation of taxpayers. Help your fellow woman be all that she can be! You’ve been through it already – so you should know what we’re up against!
“Help your fellow woman be all that she can be!”
yea, you’re really helping women alright…
We have 50 Million **less** future tax payers because of abortion.
And we have a social security crisis, too.
Posted by: LizFromNebraska at February 17, 2009 9:08 PM
One more time, abortion doesn’t reduce the number of babies a woman has, but delays the age she has them. I’m not going to post the link again, but trust me, we don’t have 50 million less taxpayers. My own family as an example, we would have had two children with our without access to abortion.
Thanks Jasper – you got it. Things are changing. Women can vote now and… have the same jobs as men, too.
Hey good night girls – I’ve got to run – but wanted a final word. I’m not a “pro abortion” person – I don’t think anyone really is… But I think that a “choice” is a right that every woman has – its not my place to tell any woman that she can, or can’t, have that right on her own body.
One other point – not being American, I’ve always been amazed at how US people fight for the right of liberty and freedom and then small groups band together and aggressively fight to limit these rights in their peers? And its usually in the name of the church? (see above!)
Are you saying Pro Life isn’t pro woman? I suggest you read Carla’s story of her abortion that she has on her blog, and the pain it caused her after-wards. Her story is one of many women who have SUFFERED after abortion.
I know what abortion is and its certainly NOT pro woman.
My facts are the truth, they don’t come from sources that are contrary to LIFE.
50 Million lives who never got to show us what they could do because their lives were taken away before they could take their first breath, their first steps, say their first words. They never got to learn their ABCs, write their names or smile. They never got to ride a bike or learn to swim.
Hey Bill! Check out the last video I linked. I think that you can be pro-choice but also be against sex-selective abortions. Let me know what you think.
Clara~ What is the name of your blog?
My own family as an example, we would have had two children with or without access to abortion.
Posted by: Hal at February 17, 2009 9:21 PM
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Hal,
I respect your intellect, but you are different kind of man than I have ever met who stops having sex after two children. What if the second pregnancy was twins. Do you and your wife wait till they are born and do the scissors, paper rock thing to choose which one to eliminate?
If there were no such thing as abortion what do you do when your wife conceives for third time despite your best efforts to prevent it.
If there is no abortion, do you just wish the pregnancy away?
I guess you could do the vasectomy thing, but sometimes even that does not prevent the one persistant sperm from completing the mission, ‘nothin but net.’
Your wife could have a tubal ligation, but sometimes the occasional ova navigates the shoots and ladders and meets the ever ready sperm.
I guess you could go the whole way and submit to castration or your wife could submit to a hysterectomy. But that is kind of drastic, like a woman having her breast removed so she will not develop breast cancer.
Is reproduction exceeding your replacement rate that socially and ecologically irresponsible?
There might not be a total net gain of 50 million people if abortion on demand were not available, but it is wholly unrealistic to suggest that the net gain would not be signicant, in the 10’s of millions.
What you are suggesting defies human nature in general and the maternal instinct in particular. American soceity has been indoctrinated and inculcated with this ‘zero population growth’ crap for as long as I can remember. But the stuff loses it’s power to influence most women when they hold their own baby in their hands for the first time.
Think about it. Would you as a man ever choose to go through that whole nine month process for a second time. Women are different from men at least when it comes to childbirth.
I have participated in five live births and the woman may curse you in her travail, but when she sees that baby, everything else fades away. Speaking as a man, that defies logic.
I saw every birth as a ‘miracle’, but I would not volunteer to go through that process a second time as the woman.
Call me short sighted,call me selfish, call me a wimp. I don’t care. I am just being honest.
yor bro ken
“I guess you could do the vasectomy thing, but sometimes even that does not prevent the one persistant sperm from completing the mission, ‘nothin but net.’
Your wife could have a tubal ligation, but sometimes the occasional ova navigates the shoots and ladders and meets the ever ready sperm.”
We did both, I’ll take those odds.
Ouch!
re: National Condom day…. Bristol Palin: Teen Abstinence ‘Not Realistic at All’ from People Magazine. She also said that having the baby was her “choice”.
She also said that talking to her mother was “worse than labor”. But the American people already knew that.
Talking to her mother? How ’bout listening to her mother!!!!! That too!
I just watched the Bristol interviews. Well, they are actually more Sarah interviews. LOL. She “surprises” Greta by showing up and then she steals the shows from Bristol. Then they go outside and she gets on her soapbox about the stimulus pkg and Alaska oil and gas resources and what Obama can learn from her. Best part was at the end when Greta tries to close with a quick question to the ever-adorable Piper and before she can say a word… I’m not kidding… her Mom grabs the microphone and remembers that she had something to say about the Fairness Doctrine, while a little boy hams it up in the background.
Okay… so where was I? Oh yeh. Here’s the thing: Bristol says she wants to be an advocate of some kind discouraging young women from becoming mothers before they have completed their education and started their careers. She says it’s really hard and not “glamorous” and they acknowledge it’s even harder for those who don’t have the family support that she has. She also claims that abstinence doesn’t work because it’s not realistic – that kids her age have sex.
Well, sounds to me like Bristol might make a good advocate afterall.
Krystal,
I am assuming that Clara is Carla? :) You can click on my name in this comments box as it goes to my blog. My abortion story is in the right sidebar.
Also this is what a friend posted on his blog last week
http://ravingatheist.com/2009/02/walking-with-aubrey
Dear Bill,
What’s with the “Hey, girls” and the “Hi, girls” and the “Bye, girls.” ????!!!
I will assume that it was a little slip on your part and not in any way meant to be condescending.
Hey Carla. I thought maybe he was Bill Clinton… until he wrote he’s not American!
I thought the same thing, V!! :)
And Hillary was telling him it was past his bedtime Carla! (“Hey good night girls – I’ve got to run”)
Ha. I wanted to ask how the philandering was working out.
Hey Carla, what do you think of the Bristol Palin interview? Did you see it? Do you think Jill will post it?
Posted by: Hal at February 17, 2009 10:22 PM
“I guess you could do the vasectomy thing, but sometimes even that does not prevent the one persistant sperm from completing the mission, ‘nothin but net.’
Your wife could have a tubal ligation, but sometimes the occasional ova navigates the shoots and ladders and meets the ever ready sperm.”
We did both, I’ll take those odds.
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Why not go all the way and completely eliminate the possibility that either of you could could reproduce independent of the other and submit to castration and hysterectomy?
Your voluntary self mutilation is only different in degrees from the misguided religious fanatics who have flagelate themselves with glass barbed whips and/or nail themselves to crosses.
They assume they will receive some additional reward for their ‘sacrifice’. What have you received for yours.
But you did not address the reality of maternal instinct and womens desire to have more children despite their reasoned decision not to have more than ‘x’ number.
When my wife to be and I first met she stated she did not want to have more than two children because the world was overpopulated? (I wonder where she got that idea?) She was one of only two children. I just laughed. Not because I had any inkling of maternal instinct, but because I knew how false her statement was about the earth being overpopulated. She believed it to be ‘true. I ‘knew’ it was not. It is a lie propagated by selfish people most of whom know it to be a lie. It was a lie 27 years ago. It is a lie today.
If you or anyone else wants to limit themselves to one or even no children, then go for it. That is your choice. If that is your ‘faith’, then so be it unto you.
But it is just a little bit hypocritical when you or others like you want to proselitize our children into your religion using the public schools and tax dollars and then holler ‘foul’, and attempt to exclude any competing idea or concept that dares to desecrate ‘your’ temple.
I have four children in college. It is entertaining, even amusing to just sit and listen to them talk about their interactions in the same school where I once worked.
‘Free speech zones’ is an odd concept in an institiute supposedly dedicated to academic inquiry. The first thing that comes to mind is there have to be ‘censored zones’ as well. But only certain speech is censored. That ‘certain speech’ is only allowed in the ‘free speech’ zones. But even then it is suject to abridgement if some person is or might be’offended’.
The intellectual elites who administer the asylum are the only ones wise enough to determine what is and what is not ‘appropriate’ based on their constantly morphing concepts.
My children are faring better than me. They have learned to pick and choose their battles and just learn the material, get the best grade they can, and complete the process. (Just because they learn the material well enough pass teh course does not mean they believe it.) Their job is not to wear themselves out tilting at every self evident edifice erected in the humanists own image.
yor bro ken
“Why not go all the way and completely eliminate the possibility that either of you could could reproduce independent of the other and submit to castration and hysterectomy?”
Why would they do that Ken? One would assume hal still wants to have and enjoy sex even though he doesn’t want any more children. And surely his wife doesn’t want all the effects of a hysterectomy.
“I have participated in five live births and the woman may curse you in her travail”
Ken, LOL…
Think about it. Would you as a man ever choose to go through that whole nine month process for a second time.
Gosh, kbhvac, it sounds like you DO understand why women should have choice. :)
“But you did not address the reality of maternal instinct and womens desire to have more children despite their reasoned decision not to have more than ‘x’ number.”
That’s the reality for some women. I don’t have a problem with that. I’m not offended by couples who have 3, 4, or more children. Not what I want, but I can accept that others might.
And I agree with your earlier post that abortion has some effect on the number of children born each year. Although it’s not a one to one correlation, I would agree it’s millions, maybe 10s of millions. Just not 40 for 50 million.
Sorry Carla for the slip of the keyboard! Thank you for providing me your link, I haven’t read your story yet but I was very interested in it since others were talking about it.
As for Bristol Palin being an advocate I would assume she would be helping teen pregnancy orgs, donating time to help, talking at local or national jr high schools and schools..maybe just a little instead of saying things that the media is going to slam?? *
Bristal: Actions speak louder than Words!*
I hope Bristal can do the job that I long for. I so wanted (and still want) to help other women who are a pregnant teen or a teen about to become a father and scared out of their mind! But I just don’t have the notibility like she does. Maybe I can find a place to e-mail her and we can team up together! :)
I see that Bristol is proudly showing off her public education.
Typically, the people who think abstinence is unrealistic are the ones who have given in to having illicit sexual encounters, and those who don’t know people who have maintained their virginity until marriage (GASP! Yes, those people do exist, and disease-free, I might add).
Keep telling people they can’t control their urges and they will become the product of that philosophy.
Congrats, Bristol! You have lived up to that typical teen mentality of “I know better than my mother.” One day, like many of us, you may grow up and see that Mom wasn’t so horribly wrong about life after all.
actually when Bristol said it was hard to talk to her mother, she meant that it was hard to tell her that she was PREGNANT.
And I agree with you, Kel, there really are people that have self control before marriage. I know two of them personally; one has been married 15 years and one has been married almost 8 1/2 years.
Part of the reason that people don’t wait for marriage for sex is that society is so anti marriage.
Over the past thirty years the average age at first marriage has creeped way up into the mid 20’s.
For all of human history, average age at first marriage was 20, that means half of the people married as teens, which fits neatly with the statistics we observe that a little over 50% of people have sex for the first time before age 20.
People from all socioeconomic groups married in their teens, including many of the first ladies of the USA.
Teen marriage is normal human behavior.
Of course it is not popular now because it means men have to take responsibility for their sexual behavior.
The guys over at Gene Expression commented on the non issue of teen pregnancy.
http://www.gnxp.com/blog/2009/01/teen-birth-rates-up-but-nothing-to.php
Many note that teen pregnancy is higher in the US than in other industrialized nations but conveniently fail to mention that US birth rates are higher in every age category.
Krystal,
I so wanted (and still want) to help other women who are a pregnant teen or a teen about to become a father and scared out of their mind! But I just don’t have the notibility like she does. Maybe I can find a place to e-mail her and we can team up together! :)
Posted by: Krystal at February 18, 2009 10:41 AM
Maybe people are “scared out of their mind” because society tries to punish rather than support young people who are parents. It is like they try to make it as hard as possible for young people. I know people who spent $100K on college for their daughter but wouldn’t help when she was pregnant.
Education is not more important than family.
College aged women are under tremendous pressure to have careers even if they really want to marry and make family their career. After spending $100k for her English degree, she worked for six months as a secretary, got married, had three kids and never worked again. They could have spent the money more wisely on a house for her and her family!
For all of human history, average age at first marriage was 20, that means half of the people married as teens, which fits neatly with the statistics we observe that a little over 50% of people have sex for the first time before age 20.
People from all socioeconomic groups married in their teens, including many of the first ladies of the USA.
Teen marriage is normal human behavior.
Of course it is not popular now because it means men have to take responsibility for their sexual behavior.
Posted by: hippie at February 18, 2009 11:37 AM
A couple things hippe:
First off, the average age of 20 doesn’t necessarily mean that 50% marry in their teens. You are confusing average (mean) with median.
Secondly, teen marriage is unpopular now, because most women have and want more choices than to start a marriage and family in their teens.
As for Bristol Palin being an advocate I would assume she would be helping teen pregnancy orgs, donating time to help, talking at local or national jr high schools and schools..
Posted by: Krystal at February 18, 2009 10:41 AM
And what do you think she’d be talking about to these kids in jr high and high school Krystal. What would she be advising them to do?
Ken… LOL… because I know full well if men were responsible for childbirth the race would have died out a long, long time ago…
I usually have a brief moment when labor really kicks in that I think to myself, “Wait a minute, why did I do this again???” but then it’s gone, I get down to the business at hand and 30-40 minutes later have my reward…
And such rewards they are:
Reward #1 is going to “Cadaver Day” today at a local medical school, she is a preveterinary student at a specialty charter high school and also attends the local community college full time (two full loads of classes with a B+ average).
Reward #2 is prepping for MathCounts, a preparatory competition for when he is in high school and can compete in the International Math Olympiads.
Reward #3 just completed his MathMatters competition with high scores and despite dealing with dyslexia is a B+ student and is a gifted artist.
Reward #4 is bright, articulate, and somewhat argumentative (where does she get that from???), I see her debating someday and almost feel sorry for her opponents.
Reward #5 sings like an angel and is desperate for her next birthday so she can go to kindergarten next year.
Reward #6 is my little gymnast who has no fear of anything and scares me half to death at times. (People are always saying, “Oh, she’s so cute!” I respond…. “Don’t fall for it!”)
Can’t wait to see what Reward #7 will be like!!!
Your kids sound like Gems!
Elisabeth,
Do you have a blog??
asitis Here is what I would like to see Bristol Do:
1. Talk with jr high schoolers and high schoolers about saying no to sex, respecting/loving yourself enough not to be having sex, how life as a pregnant/parenting teen is really like, what people you can talk to/consult if you are or already are sexually active. Just to name a few points.
2. Continue her advocacy for the young parents by going to college and furthering her career. Taking parenting classes or family bonding classes. People will follow if you lead!
3. She has a long road ahead of her no matter how much money you have or how many in your fmaily help out with the baby. She should let American teens know that having a baby is not a walk in the park, it doesn’t fulfill a void in your life, it takes a LOT of time and a LOT of money to not only raise yourself but to raise another human being. Maybe by doing interviews for teen based magazines, youtube even?!
asitis, would you rather her just not do anything at all a? Teens listen to other teens, they (for the most part) won’t listen to adults since they are authority figures. I’ve talked at a lot of schools where I grew up and when I’ve gone back home I’ve seen young ladies who I’ve talked to not have kids, going to college and having more self respect that ever. Even if Bristal helped one other teen then her efforts have paid off.
“”Maybe people are “scared out of their mind” because society tries to punish rather than support young people who are parents. It is like they try to make it as hard as possible for young people. I know people who spent $100K on college for their daughter but wouldn’t help when she was pregnant.
Education is not more important than family.
College aged women are under tremendous pressure to have careers even if they really want to marry and make family their career. After spending $100k for her English degree, she worked for six months as a secretary, got married, had three kids and never worked again. They could have spent the money more wisely on a house for her and her family!
Posted by: Anonymous at February 18, 2009 11:54 AM””
I beleive people are scared out of their minds (and I was talking about teens) is because most teens I run into are very pro-life. But they know that if they were to tell an adult the first words out of that adults mouth will be a*b*o*r*t*i*o*n ASAP!
They, for the most part, don’t want to abort but the pressure of that adult they would tell would be tremendous.
In a perfect world this is how life would go:
~high school
~college
~internship/career
~dating
~marriage/buying a house, etc
~having children
~sending children through college
~retirement
While I beleive in a perfect world existing someday I know that the world at this moment in time is not perfect. And if we condem every teen who has sex before marriage, drops out of college to have kids and so on that we will be showing many generations that they are not loved based on them not being perfect. Then the cycle starts all over again of going backwords instead of forwards.
Krystal, no I don’t think she should do nothing at all. As I said I think it sounds like she might a good advocate afterall…. because she came right out and said 1)teenage motherhood is hard and it should be avoided and 2)while abstinence should be encouraged, it’s not the reality. It was too bad that at that point her mother took over as a supposed “surprise” guest and made a mash of what Bristol was trying to say.
No, I would agree with you that teens do listen to other teens. She can teach them a lot about what single teen motherhood is really like (albeit her situation is better than most) and that while it’s best to wait, if you do have sex before you’re ready for a baby make sure you are being smart about it.
asitis~ the first thing Bristal should do is cut some of the cord from her Mama. If her mom would stop butting in and making the show all about her woes then Bristal can get a few good points through without the interference of Sarah.
She’s an adult now, making adult choices and living an adult life; its time to let mom raise her own kids that are still at home so Bristal and Levi can get to raising Tripp together.
Independence is a hard thing to do but it has to be done at some point.
I think the problem Krystal is that neither Bristol nor Levi have even finished high school. And is Levi even able and willing to support Palin and the baby until Palin can also go to work and make enough money (doing what?) to cover the daycare costs?
Sarah said something in the interviews about it being up to the families and not the government to help these teenage moms raise their kids. Which might be okay, but what about those that don’t have the resources that the Palins have?
Carla, I’ve got my blog offline right now, redoing some of the “look” of it, but it will be back up some time next week, I’ll give you the URL then.
Thanks on the compliments, I think my kids are pretty great, too.
Note, I was unwed and 20 when I got pregnant with my oldest. I was scared to DEATH to tell my parents because when I was about 15 my mom told me that if I ever “got knocked up” she’d force me to have an abortion. I knew that at 20 there wasn’t much she could do about it, but still, I was very unsure of how they would react. (No, it wasn’t pretty for a while, but they did eventually come around.)
Hey Krystal, it sounds like you watched the interviews, right? I found the whole thing kind of weird. Greta made it sound like Bristol was the one who orchestrated the whole interview without her mom knowing. And then Sarah steps in with Tripp in arms just as they start getting into the meat of it and Greta makes a show of acting surprised. Sarah takes over from there and Bristol looks decidedly miffed at her mother. It was all very curious….
Sometimes it is really hard for mom to cut those apron strings or as it is known by some in the midwest, ‘breaking their plate’.
Bristol Palin is more like her mom than she knows.
The ‘administrative gift’ run amuck can really make life miserable for those with whom they live and work.
One of the most difficult things any parent can do, man or woman, is to allow their child the freedom to fail. You give them the best example you can provide, then you have stand back and let them learn to ride the bicycle without the training wheels. The inexorable crashes, with the accompanying bumps and bruises are inevitable, but the lessons learned are invaluable.
yor bro ken
So what would you do here Ken, if this was your daughter and she was single, not finshed high school and had a newborn? Tell her to get hitched to Levi and find their own place and make their own money and find their own way? What if he abandoned her? Would you take her back in? Help her out? How is she supposed to manage?
What lesson would you like her and her baby to learn?
Posted by: Elisabeth at February 18, 2009 12:22 PM
“Can’t wait to see what Reward #7 will be like!!!”
—————————————————
Elizabeth,
Thank you for your courage to be open about your love for children in general and your own children in particular.
Before you met your husband to be, did it ever enter into your contemplations that you would NOT be a mother or that you would only have ‘x’ number of children?
yor bro ken
I know for a fact that Bristal and Levi are still attending school. Here in Alaska we have a lot of online schooling due to the ruralness of here. But we also open those programs up for lost teens, single parents and for homeschooled kids who need more than what their parents can offer them. I’m sure they will finish up and Levi will more than likely go back to working on ‘the slope’ as we call it here aka Prudhoe Bay or Barrow to work on the drills or gold mines up there.
I think breaking the aproon strings is something every mother, single/married, should be doing. Your parents are there to help you but not to raise the baby. While I think it is super important for the families to step in and help those without that kind of support should feel entitled to help from others sources or the state so they can finish their business and raise a healthy child. While not all parents will choose the right way of accepting help there are those who will take the help and become self reliant people in this world. One bad apple does spoil the batch most of the time though when it comes to accepting help from tax payers money.
Sarah took over the interview and shouldn’t have. Bristal had a wonderful chance to show that world that times get tuff but you need to keep moving forward. I was able to meet Bristal, Sarah & Todd when they ended the Iron Dog snowmachine race here in Fairbanks @ Pike’s Landing. Nice people, Bristal is a very hands on mom and both grandparents seemed to want to help her as much as they could.
Posted by: asitis at February 18, 2009 4:22 PM
So what would you do here Ken, if this was your daughter and she was single, not finshed high school and had a newborn? Tell her to get hitched to Levi and find their own place and make their own money and find their own way? What if he abandoned her? Would you take her back in? Help her out? How is she supposed to manage?
What lesson would you like her and her baby to learn?
——————————————————
My idea of ideal parenthood is to adopt a child who is 18 and break their plate and tell them it is time to get out and make it on their own. (rimshot, laughter)
I am tempted to ask you to speculate on what you think I would do, before I anwer your question.
I have four daughters from 18 to 23 and one son aged 19. All are still in school, all still living at home.
I have not done any vaginal inspections, but I am as confident that none of them have been sexually active as I am the sun will appear in the east at the appointed time.
But I am also a realist, I understand the pressures, at least from the male perspective, in our society today. If one of daughters or my son succombed to that pressure and as a result a child was conceived, I would hope that I could express my love to them more tangibly than I do right now.
The true test of my love is not when my children do what is right, but when they do what is wrong.
I do NOT believe that conception in itself is a ‘reason’ to enter into a lifetime covenant with another person. It is not wise to compound one mistake with another. One decision should be independent of the other. There is a peferred sequence.
Actually in my ‘opinion’, marriage is not the result of a religious ceremony. (I am not minimizing the ceremony. It serves an important purpose.) Marriage is the two becoming one and usually the child is the physical evidence of that oneness. But the oneness is more than just a thing of the flesh. It is a oneness of purpose, a sharing of the sacred and a blending of life and lives.
I would do what I believed was beneficial for my daughter or my son, but I would not ‘enable’ them in their failure. To do so would perpetuate the failure. Life teaches us lessons and if we learn from them we will be less likely to repeat the mistake and even to make new mistakes. Wisdom begets wisdom. Encourage wisdom. Discourage folly.
(My children are not equal. What would be appropriate for one probably would not be what is best for the other.) This is their problem to solve and my wife and I are resources that they can avail themselves of if they choose.
My four oldest children are ‘adults’. They are all capable of functioning independent of me or my wife, though we have an obligation to provide them every opportunity to succeed that we are empowered to give.
The thought of being a grandfather is beyond my comprehension at this time. (I hope I live long enough to enjoy all my grandchildren.) I am still getting used to the idea of having sex with a fifty year old woman.
Does that answer your question, asitis?
yor bro ken
Side note~
Daycaare in Anchorage/Wasilla runs about $500 & up for fulltime infant care until the age of 1 year old. After one year it drops sometimes by 50%.
Bristal has a lot of jobs up here that are entry level and pay decent without a college education. With both parents working (Levi & Bristal), grandparents to help with scheduling conflicts due to work/school and a very big support network here in Alaska; I’m sure they’ll have no problem making it in life. Rough times are bound to hit but what would life be without bumps in the road. Learning curves are to be expected and welcomed, without them we would never learn.
Most jobs/careers up here are by word of mouth. Most of those are not posted in newspapers, Craigslist, etc.
And if they did need help from the state the first thing I would tell them to do would be to apply for childcare assistance. That would free up some of the cost of child care so they could afford other daily living needs. Also there is WIC for supplemental milk, egg’s, cheese, cereal and others foods which I cannot remember off the top of my head. Both of those programs don’t take as much money to run from the state as opposed to TANF grants, Medicaid, Food stamps, etc.
But I highly doubt that is both parents were working that they would qualify for state assistance. There is an income limit and I think if the media caught wind of state assistance Bristal would be slammed for it; so I think it is highly unlikly for Bristal to get on any kind of assistance with the exception of school grants/loans.
Yes, ken thank you you did answer my question, and in a very thoughtful and honest way. Your previous comment made me think you might kick them out and holler sink or swim baby! Though i should have realized that’s not you.
While Bristol does have a beautiful baby boy and the support of many, she is no doubt feeling the negative consequences of her actions (or inactions): For starters her youth is abruptly over and any career or other aspirations are on hold for now.
Oh and I laughed at your comment about sex with a 50 year old woman. I do love your sense of humor ken!
Gosh… I would be so proud to have her as my daughter!!!!NOT
Pretty sick
If you asked my wife she would tell you I am the joke!
I once heard it said doing the right thing is not difficult. The hard part is determining the right thing to do. Once you have that settled, the ‘doing of it’ is almost self fulfilling.
Is anyone surprised that a teenager would disagree with their parent?
Talk to Bristol Palin 5 years from now and then ask her to assess her mom’s advice.
I have to confess I do believe Sarah Palin, may be just a bit on the ‘controlling’ side of the spectrum.
Doesn’t mean she is a bad person or a bad executive, just means she has a little struggle letting go of the reins and allowing the horse to find it’s way. I just hope she has someone close enough and brave enough to tell her when she crosses the line. Some how I don’t see Todd saying, “Sarah, ain’t you got some knittin you could be doin’?”
yor bro ken
Gosh… I would be so proud to have her as my daughter!!!!NOT
Pretty sick
Posted by: maria at February 18, 2009 5:26 PM
Maria, what exactly do you find “sick” about it?
By the way are you pro-life?
Haha! I think it’s Todd that is the knitter in that family Ken!
Oh, I don’t think Bristol disagrees with her mom necessarily. I think she was looking miffed for just what you said – her mom took control as usual and took over what was supposed to be (well, apparently….) Bristol’s intreview.
Ken, I think your wife might Say you are a joke, but I bet it’s what charmed her in the first place.
Hey Krystal. Thank for the peak at life “up there in Alaska”!
peek
The liberal and pro-choice mindset is such that when something is revealed as unhealthy, neverthelesss that will not stop them from repeating the same lies they have heard time and again.
Happy Condom Week is a health consciousness scandal. Take the moral equation out of it, and the idea of promoting condom use as a prerequisite to “safe sex” is still a lie.
Condoms are proven to be ineffective at preventing disease and pregnancy. Yes, they prevent some, but not all. The totally irresponsible lie is that condoms guarentee “safe sex”. For health care providers to push condoms to unsuspecting clients as a sure protection against disease is professional incompetence, and hopefully will someday be recognized as criminal malfeasance.
Jerry, fact is sex with a condom is better at preventing pregnancy and STI’s than sex without.
the idea of promoting condom use as a prerequisite to “safe sex” is still a lie.
Posted by: Jerry at February 18, 2009 5:54 PM
Jerry, fyi Planned Parenthood refers to “safer sex” as opposed to “safe sex”. Here’s this off their website:
What Is Safer Sex?
Safer sex is anything we do during sex play to reduce our risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection. Even though a lot of people say “safe sex” instead of “safer sex,” there is no kind of skin-to-skin sex play with a partner that is totally risk-free. But being “safer” is something all of us can do.
OK, well since this conversation has taken a turn into the “what would you do” catagory, I’ll go ahead and throw my hat into the ring and tell you what we did/how our parents “handled” it when Oliver and I got pregnant in college.
Well, first of all there was definitely no forcing us into marriage. Oliver and I had set a date and everyone was acting like it wasn’t happening. Finally, we got it through to everyone that come December 17th we were getting married, and Oliver’s parents helped us with the wedding arrangements. My family did next to nothing but show up.
As for the living arrangements: We had planned on getting an apartment in North Carolina, and had even signed the forms to hold one for us when Oliver was supposed to move up at the end of January. Instead, because I was having tons of pregnancy complications along with all the school issues I’ve talked about previously, I moved back to Texas.
We asked my mom if we could stay with her while we looked for a place to live in the area. She told us no, and we didn’t even ask his parents. We just got a little apartment right across the street from our former highschool. Talk about swallowing some pride!
But, the apartment was very cute in a tiny first efficiancy apartment sort of way. We had a lot of hand me down furniture and no washing machine. We also ate a lot of hamburger helper.
Oliver was working in a mail room, and because we were only paying about 400/month in rent we were actually doing very well financially.
As time went on we moved into a bigger apartment, and then a house, and then finally away from “home” and back to Austin so that Oliver could finish his degree.
We’ve made plenty of mistakes (like getting a pay-day loan instead of just letting our rent be a few days late)but after 4 years of marriage and 2 kids, we have everything we could possibly want.
Now, I will say that Oliver’s parents were gracious enough to let us stay with them after our lease ended in our first house and before our move to Austin. Maybe they would have let us live with them when we first got married. I think, ultimately, it was better we got our own place and led our own lives.
Lauren I think you and Oliver did just great! Two things you did have going for you that not everyone has is you both had finished high school and you were both responsible and committed… to the baby AND each other.
Asitis, I’m glad they changed their terminology.
Thanks Asitis, strangely enough having the Pregnancy From Hell w/ our first child really bumped up our responsibility level.
Of course, neither of us were particuarlly irresponsible before, just typical college students. Of course, there could be an argument made that they “typical college student” is VERY irresponsible. :)
“Of course, there could be an argument made that they “typical college student” is VERY irresponsible. :)”
YES.
Oliver and Lauren
Are you stil in Texas?
yor bro ken
Yep. We’re in Austin now. We were in the DFW area.
I don’t think I ever had a set # of kiddos in mind, nor do I now, whatever the good Lord sends (or as hubby says, “We’re just waiting until we get an ugly one”…)
I had a larger fear that I “couldn’t” have children. My older sister had five miscarriages and no living children. In addition, I was in Poland right after Chernobyl (long story) and I was always really afraid that it had some long term effect…
When you add those two things together, it might have something to do with why I am so very grateful for my precious blessings… I consider each one a true gift.
I worked in antenatal and labor & delivery when I was going through nursing school and one of my jobs was to tend to the fetal demises. That also has colored my views (although I was already five children into it at that point!)
(Hey, just got a huge hug from #1… she’s my heart. Took her yesterday for a new haircut and highlights… she looks 20! YIKES!)
I’m the youngest of six (from my dad, only 2 with my mom) and my aunt and uncle had 11. It just doesn’t seem like a foreign concept to me. Although my dad has grouses a little (mostly out of fear. His thoughts are that if I keep having kids eventually I’ll have one with major health issues.) For the most part my parents are thrilled with the children, in fact, we just came home from their house, celebrating my dad’s 75th birthday. Happy Birthday, Daddy!!!!
Asitis: It is the height of irresponsibility on the part of condom promoters to continue supporting the use of condoms, especially in light of the fact that they do not provide reliable protection. The pro condom crowd’s willingness to ignore 25% of our teens contracting STD’s is so typical, and yet it is the behaviors implicit with recommedations to use condoms that are at the source of the rise of STDs. In case you missed it, look at the PP videos. There are no qualifying statements or inferences that condoms do not provide protection. In fact, just the opposite, the presumption is condom = protection.
And as for the casual disregard for the health of those who do contract diseases while using condoms, I am sure it makes them feel much better knowing some were more fortunate than they. Chalk it up as so much collateral damage in the culture wars.
Here here Jerry!
Asitis: It is the height of irresponsibility on the part of condom promoters to continue supporting the use of condoms, especially in light of the fact that they do not provide reliable protection. The pro condom crowd’s willingness to ignore 25% of our teens contracting STD’s is so typical…..
Posted by: Jerry at February 18, 2009 11:22 PM
Jerry, condoms do provide reliable protection, though they aren’t absolutely 100% effective. Problem is, people don’t use them, or don’t use them properly and all the time. That’s not the condom’s fault, that’s the user’s.
The “pro condom” crowd is not ignoring the issue of STI’s. Have you checked out PP’s website? On the contrary they are encouraging sexually active people to protect themselves in anumber of ways against STI’s, especially those at higher risk.
Truthseeker: Here here Jerry!
Ouch. Where?
Hey Jerry, answer me this question. Do you think STDs and pregnancy will decrease if condoms and other forms of birth control were made illegal?
Asitis: It is the height of irresponsibility on the part of condom promoters to continue supporting the use of condoms, especially in light of the fact that they do not provide reliable protection.
Posted by: Jerry at February 18, 2009 11:22 PM
-Jerry, if this were the case, I would probably have 12 kids and 14 different diseases by now. As would every other girlfriend of mine. Why not? Because we’ve consistently used condoms during sex. I’m living proof. It’s more irresponsible to assume they DON’T work.
Danielle, that’s really, really sad.
Danielle, that’s really, really sad.
Posted by: Lauren at February 19, 2009 1:07 PM
-But only for you, Lauren! I don’t get off on judging other people’s personal lives when they don’t concern me. Cheers!
Lauren, Danielle has a good point. There are some of you here to do a fair bit of judging about others’ choice to have sex outside of marriage…. And yet you yourselves did it and, ended up getting pregnant, having abortions, getting STI’s. Why are you so quick to judge others? Would you have a different mindset if you hadn’t had bad luck ( or played smarter)?
You are judging others when you ask them not to judge others.
Personally V, I would like to spare people the horrifying reality of abortion. I own up to the mistakes I have made in my life.
I don’t believe in luck. :)
Your so right on the judging others Carla!
*Oh and I’m following your blog now! You write wonderful post and I enjoy them. If you ever want a peek into life in Alaska check out my blog alaskanlapp.blogspot.com*
Danielle, Asitis, it is very sad that Danielle and her friends are sleeping with enough people to contract 14 different kinds of STD’s. I’m not judging her to be a “bad person” I just think that the behavior itself is very sad.
I think my behavior leading up to my marriage was very sad as well as was the behavior of many of my friends. Calling something what it is isn’t a personal attack.
what was sad about it lauren? In any case, Danielle calls it right then when she says her “behaviour” is only sad to you.
And Carla, I appreciate that you want to save people from your experience, but not everyone has the same troubled youth and not everyone who has sex gets pregnant and not everyone who has an abortion has deep regret for it.
I am not sure why but I find it hilarious when you say “troubled youth.” Like I should be an extra in the movie The Outsiders.
My dear V,
I volunteer at a Pregnancy Helpline. When a vulnerable, scared and lonely young woman comes in and wants THE TRUTH about what is going on inside of her pregnant body I am more than happy to tell her.
I also have MUCH to say about abortion. No big surprise there. There are thousands that regret their abortions and I am getting more and more emails everyday from women who tell me their horrifying stories of abortion. My motives for what I do are pretty clear. Well, maybe not to you. I care. I don’t regret that.
Although I enjoy our playful banter it seems like we have discussed this before??!!
:)
Krystal,
Thank you!! :)
I shall check out AK too!!
What is sad?
Perhaps the fact that having sex with dozens of different partners is neither emotionally or physically healthy. The ‘hook up’ culture demeans true relationships and the people involved.
It leads to people having sex with people they don’t want to be committed to, which leads to abortions should a determined sperm or two slip through.
lauren I meant what was”very sad” about your behaviour before marriage. Are you saying you had sex with dozens of partners???
No, I didn’t. I had a series of boyfriends, some of which I slept with. However, none of those boyfriends particuarlly cared about me, and the sex was empty and meaningless, although I attached meaning to it at the time.
Well that doesn’t sound like much fun!
Sounds really, really sad.