Satire: GOP to Obama – ban abortions and we’ll fund government
Republicans in the House of Representatives have offered to start funding the federal government again if President Obama orders an immediate ban on all abortions.
In a lengthy press conference this morning, House Speaker John Boehner hailed the idea as a compromise solution to the ongoing crisis and blasted Democrats for refusing to consider the proposal.
“Last night I spoke to the White House and offered the Democrats what I thought was a very reasonable compromise to end this government shutdown,” Boehner explained. “All President Obama has to do is immediately end all abortions in this country, and we’ll consider funding the government again.”
~ Online satirical newspaper The Daily Currant, October 7

Great idea. 5000 abortions today 5000 tomorrow tick tick tick. Nothing else is working. Try this.
Since this is from a satirical website, is it not likely this was satire?
Actually it would help significantly with funding the top drivers of our debt–the old-age entitlements–and would raise our prospects for future growth. Unfortunately even long-term self-interest isn’t enough to overcome short-term convenience for our society. “I’ve got an idea, let’s create an entirely new medical system reliant on young people paying insurance premiums to pay for older and sicker individuals, and let’s increase funding to groups so they can kill more and more young people every year!”
Tsk tsk. Can’t be messing around with another party’s entire PLATFORM now can we???
:)
You folks realize that this satire is targeting Republicans, right? It’s equating the demand to get rid of the ACA with the demand to get rid of all abortions. It’s demonstrating that there is no way the Dems are going to “compromise” on the ACA, just as they wouldn’t “compromise” on banning all abortions. Why won’t they? Because the ACA is already law, it’s already been compromised on repeatedly, and it’s unrelated to the actual issue of funding the government. The same would be true of abortion: it’s already law, there are frequently state and federal compromises on the issue, and it’s unrelated to the funding of the government.
Satire exaggerates something to make the intended point more obvious. In this case, they are replacing “defund the ACA” with “ban all abortions.” They are using the more extreme suggestion to demonstrate the absurdity of the first.
I worry that you’re not realizing that anti-ACA Republicans are the target of this satire, and the administration is not.
No death benefits for Military families as of this morning.
Remind me the reason why I always say that Obama hates vets?!
Ella Rae – just like an arrogant lib to think us dumb prolifers can’t figure out what this satire thingy means – thanks for being generous enough to share your considerable intellectual gifts with us and help us understand
yeah, we get it – what you don’t get is that most of us that frequent this site would love to hear that exact thing come out of Boehner’s mouth – and you miss the fact that killing 55 million plus babies in the last 40 years has in fact contributed to many of our nation’s problems – not to mention the simple fact of the tragedy of all those deaths just for our convenience
Ella Rae,
I would venture to guess that whichever wonderful team member posted this satirical quotation about a demand to cease all abortions knew exactly why it was stated and what it was intended to mean.
The irony here is that literally, what this equates to is this: The Republicans offered a completely reasonable compromise wherein PBO immediately halts the killing of all preborn human beings and the government funding will again begin.
“Hey, if you stop killing babies right now I will stop holding your government hostage.”
Interestingly, it’s not so unreasonable or satirical when you stop and think about it, which I would assume is the entire point of posting the quotation.
What would we do if someone didn’t come along and explain the QOTD to us?
derrrrrrrrrr
LOL – I know, Carla, right?
Because we pro-lifers are so dumb, they think they have to explain it.
Quotes of the day are meant to generate discussion and will NOT always support the pro-life position. For the umpteenth time.
“For the umpteenth time.”
Wow, we’re up to umpteen already? So does anyone know what number comes after umpteen? :)
JDC,
That would be Gazillion.
Hey abortion fans, did you know that once upon a time, slavery was already law and some folks were told to just shut up and accept it?
“JDC, That would be Gazillion.”
Thanks! It’s a number they’re going to need around here, one of these days.
JDC, I think 9ek is probably right, though I’ve never really thought about it. :D
Gazillion seemed like too much, but umpteen seemed just about right.
As satire goes, this is decidedly un-funny. Lame. It is only slightly amusing to those extremists who insist that pro-lifers are fools and deserving of ridicule.
How about a story in which Obama offers the compromise to ban all abortions in exchange for clean funding bill? And then the Republicans refuse to consider it!?!?!
That would be thought-provoking and funny! What a twist that would be! Imagine! — Obama offering a compromise! That’ll never happen in real life…..
Considering the number of times I have seen liberal satire posted as conservative commentary on this site, I think it’s fair to think that at least some folks here still need to have it explained to them.
Yep, just like some of my lib friends need to be told repeatedly that the Onion is satire.
Wait, it was satire??
Oh, golly. They must’ve given me that Phi Beta Kappa key for my taste in shoes!
Satire always has plenty of truth in it:
http://editorialcartoonists.com/cartoon/display.cfm/112853/
liberals are just so hilarious but Conservatives have the upper hand always.
Things have become so strange lately, it’s becoming impossible to tell what’s true and what’s satirical. Sometimes the Onion’s stories seem more plausible than actual stories.
That’s hilarious! I’d love to see the infighting amongst the gop if Boehner actually came out with a statement like that. Prolonged and bitter. A cartoonists paradise.
another party’s entire PLATFORM – uh huh.
Remind me the reason why I always say that Obama hates vets?! – since the gop initiated all this you’ve got the boot on the wrong foot.
I think we are beyond the initiating part so I want even argue the point. Obama is very adept at finishing the job by sticking it to the vets though.
Obama is very adept at finishing the job by sticking it to the vets though. – since it is the gop which is prolonging the situation you’ve still got the boot on the wrong foot.
Don’t blame the GOP — they are just doing what voting American families sent them to do.
If we had wanted Democrats, we would have voted for Democrats.
‘If we had wanted Democrats, we would have voted for Democrats’ – what, like in the White House and the Senate?
Roll on mid-terms!
Like someone said – “They’d rather see America fail than Obama succeed”
The Democrats hold a slim majority in the Senate now, and the White House has been flipping back and forth between Republicans and Democrats. If you look at the number of seats the Democrats held in the US House compared to Republicans over the last 40 – 50 years, you would see that they once held a sizeable majority. Their historical advantage has slipped along with the number of pro-life Democrats at the federal level. Their entrenched support for abortion has led some to say “I have not left the Democratic Party; it has left me.” I’ve seen what used to be solidly rural Democratic districts turn red over the last several election cycles.
You are definitely missing both boots from your feet ”reality.” What programs do not get funded during this shutdown is totally up to the current administration.
http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/30/politics/government-shutdown-up-to-speed/index.html
In the above it is reported that the Military continues to fight and operate during a shutdown and yet Obama and his cronies chose to affect the vets by stopping these death benefits to Military families. Are there any other non-essential programs that could have been axed? You bet. So you see it is no longer the Republicans to be discussed, but now it is an issue of how dems are handling what is affected during this shutdown. Yeap – Obama hates our vets!!!