Duggars hold memorial service for tiny baby Jubilee; photos stir controversy
12/16, 2:10p: Here is the touching, insightful letter Michele Duggar recorded for baby Jubilee’s memorial service:
[vimeo]http://www.http://vimeo.com/33754101[/vimeo]
[HT: Moderator Bethany]
2/15, 1:19p: Jubilee Shalom, such a beautiful name given by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar to their tiny miscarried daughter.
Yesterday the Duggars held a private memorial service for Jubilee, who doctors discovered during a routine ultrasound on December 8 had passed away at the age of five gestational months. The service was reportedly attended “by hundreds.”
As the Duggars have upheld the sanctity of human life through bearing 19 living children, they upheld the sanctity of preborn human life by holding a service to grieve Jubilee’s death. Said Jim Bob during the service:
We won’t see this child’s life and the phases that we’ve seen for our other children, but we know we will see this child in heaven one day.
We are thankful for each child, and we are blessed to have the children we have here and the ones we will meet someday in heaven.
By “ones” Jim Bob was referring a child Michelle miscarried during her second pregnancy.
For the memorial service the Duggars showed touching photos of their baby. According to People:
The Duggars also contacted the nonprofit organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, which helps families deal with the miscarriage and loss of their babies, to take photos the family could keep and use at the memorial service. Some of those photos have been released without Jim Bob and Michelle’s consent, according to a spokesperson for the family, and were intended for private use only.
Apparently cousin Amy Duggar posted either one or two photos via Twitter that were later taken down.
Of course, it is hard to actually delete something online, and TMZ got hold of the photos and posted them. They are touching and beautiful, and I do wish on one hand the Duggars would release them, but on the other hand I’d think it abhorrent if they released photos of a deceased born child. So that’s one way to look at it, I guess.
My post including photos moderator Bethany sent me in 2007 of her miscarried baby, Blessing, remains one of the most read posts here year after year, and we have received many emails saying how much that post helped grieving mothers who had also miscarried, and even abortion-vulnerable mothers who changed their minds after seeing them.
At any rate, Jubilee’s photos have stirred controversy. Even ABC has picked up the story. TheHollyWoodGossip.com attempted to make it all macabre by saying the Duggars “took photos of the corpse,” and “We have not posted it here for obvious reasons.” What would those be? AceShowBiz.com wrote, “[O]ne of the pictures gives a look at the fetal corpse’s tiny feet on the hand of… Michelle Duggar.” Such a strange outlook.
As an aside, some people will be interested to know whether or not Michelle miscarried naturally. According to People:
Advised by her doctor to let the miscarriage occur naturally, Michelle, 45, was being cared for at home by her family.
Following the miscarriage late Sunday night [December 11], Michelle began to feel lightheaded and as a precaution was taken to the hospital, where she was kept for observation, according to a family spokesperson.
We mourn for the Duggar family and pray for healing.
[HT: Kristina; photo via People]
Jill Stanek is a nurse turned speaker, columnist and blogger, a national figure in the effort to protect both preborn and postborn innocent human life.
I just don’t see how anyone can look at such a small, innocent, beautiful creation of God… and still be heartless by calling the baby a “fetus” with the intent of not recognizing the baby for what it really, truly is… a BABY. Even that young. Even that small. Even at that age. That child is a BABY. May Jubilee rest in the arms of God and may her family have the peace they deserve in their time of grief.
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is one of the most wonderful organizations ever. If ABC, et al would research it, they’d find what a comfort it is for grieving families to remember their precious children lost so early in life. But their laziness and pro-abortion tendencies prevent them from allowing the Duggar family’s humanity to be evident. I’m saddened by comments I hear people making like “She only wanted another baby so she could keep being on TV.” It shows a complete lack of understanding of the Duggars’ outlook. Watch one show and you’ll understand that, TV or not, they’d have the family they have today. But the contraceptive mentality of our culture reigns, even for people who call themselves Christian, and so even Christians scratch their heads over why anyone would want more than 2-3 children.
I’m so glad they had a service for Jubilee Shalom. It will help them to have closure and promote healing as it does for the death of any loved one. And it is a public testimony that this baby was a BABY (not just a blob of tissue etc.) God bless the Duggar family.
The MSM..Good Lord! They can’t even refer to her as a “deceased baby” (at the VERY least). They have to refer to her as “the CORPSE”! Jubilee Shalom Duggar was/is a BABY!
The media makes me sick!
Rest In Peace, tiny Jubilee.
I lost two babies in the second trimester. I wish I had such support then. May God comfort the Duggar family and may the tiny soul of Jubilee rest at peace in the presence of Almighty God.
The pictures were actually very, very tastefully done. What a great ministry (Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep). The comments of newscasters only serve to display the fact that those who don’t understand the sanctity of life are blinded.
“They are touching and beautiful, and I do wish on one hand the Duggars would release them, but on the other hand I’d think it abhorrent if they released photos of a deceased born child. So that’s one way to look at it, I guess”
The idea of taking pictures of a loved one after they have died doesnt bother me. I’ve been doing a lot of family history in the last couple of years and I have come across some pictures of deceased children. Apparently it was not uncommon if a child died young and the family didn’t have any pictures of them to take a picture at the wake/funeral. It makes sense to me because it didn’t matter how short their life was, the family can remember them. And to future descendants they aren’t just a line on a census (or absent altogether if they lived and died inbetween), they are just as much a part of the family as siblings who lived into adulthood. I think we struggle with how to handle the death of children (born and preborn) I’ve seen too many families including my own pretend the children never existed. It makes me so sad because the parents never forget, but many times the rest of the family especially siblings never even know they have other brothers and sisters in heaven. I’m so glad the Duggars are taking the opportunity to keep Jubilee Shalom as a visible part of their family.
why would these pictures be objectionable. that is their daughter. they are beautiful.
My friend lost her daughter at 38 weeks. They had pictures taken and then had an artist do a pencil sketch of her. It’s beautiful.
Not a fetus, Duck. A BABY.
Absolutely precious. Sweet baby girl.
Erin,
I agree.
I am sorry that the photos got out against their wishes – but I hope that good can come from it. Praying for their family and friends during this hard time.
Jill said “They are touching and beautiful, and I do wish on one hand the Duggars would release them, but on the other hand I’d think it abhorrent if they released photos of a deceased born child. So that’s one way to look at it, I guess”
The Victorians took many pictures of their deceased dead. Prevalent were children since the mortality rate for children was so high. It wasn’t thought of as macabre. Its only our “modern” sensibilities that make us so easily offended at such a notion. My mom and I took photos of my grandmother and great aunt etc… in their coffins. It doesn’t seem weird to me. I don’t know. I am very comfortable around death. Which is probably why I love forensic entomology. “Corpses” and bodies and death doesn’t bother me.
I am glad to have seen the pictures of Jubilee’s tiny precious feet. She was a human being, a baby girl and I want the world to see her humanity and the humanity of other babies her age being pulled apart in “reproductive health clinics” right now as we speak.
Praying for the Duggar family. What a tragic loss.
@Susie Allen
“why would these pictures be objectionable”
Because they hurt peoples consciences.
“The idea of taking pictures of a loved one after they have died doesnt bother me.”
The practice has always been extremely common. Heck, even Tiller the Killer offered families a photo op with their murdered children.
http://boingboing.net/2011/03/25/ghost-babies.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-mortem_photography
I look forward to the special Weekend at Bernie’s-inspired episode of 19 Kids and Counting where they take Jubilee Shalom out for a day on the town. Wacky hijinks ensue!
Even if someone did find the idea of post mortem photography strange or creepy, can’t they have enough compassion on a grieving family not to be so crass and intolerant as to criticize their private behavior as they process their grief.
These folks criticizing such photos just come off as mean spirited. They sure don’t come off as classy or sensitive.
My deepest sympathys and prayers go out to the Duggars during this time of missing sweet precious Jubilee. What a beautiful name!! She is their daughter..not a corpse!Only the hate filled rejectors of Christ would stoop that low. Shame on them.
Thanks, I like you too, Courtnay.
Raise you up on eagles wings, dear little Jubilee. God bless you, precious one. My prayers & condolences to the Duggars family.
I often wish that the baby I miscarried would have been developed enough for pictures, burial, service, etc. We have nowhere to go, like a grave, to honor the short life of our baby. And though I was 14 weeks pregnant, the baby was not developed to anywhere near that point. Because I was so devastated, and unsure what to do with the remains, my husband ended up flushing the sac, which haunts me to this day. My heart aches for the Duggars. I have 4 other children that I love with every fiber of my being, but the baby I lost is never far from my thoughts. Even years later, I tear up at the memories of it. No matter what anyone thinks of the Duggar family, this must be a painful time for all of them. God bless baby Jubilee, and may she rest in peace.
U104, right you are.
joan,
Assuming for the moment that someone isn’t masquerading as you: out of what foul pit of inhuman vulgarity did you drudge that last comment (3:14 PM, 12-15-11)? You seem to have despaired of acting with even the tiniest shred of human decency, and it’s stomach-turning.
I think comments like Joan’s come from post abortive guilt. I can’t imagine any other reason to be so hateful.
It’s called “humor”, not hate. But, my apologies. I forgot what a dour bunch this site’s regulars are.
Not funny.
Humor often requires a bit of intelligence to pull off. That was not humor. That was pure immature stupidity.
joan, I’ve known for quite some time that you troll with abandon… but I’d not quite understood how single-minded and cruel you can become, in your hatred of the pro-life cause. Your latest comment/defense, in fact, was simply stupid; not only is it quite possible to mix one’s privatised ideas of “humour” with “hate” (did you seriously not know that?), but the very idea that any and every topic, no matter how emotionally raw or sensitive, should be ripe for you to stab it with a rhetorical knife whenever and however you please, is fatuous enough for me to wonder whether you’ve had any commerce with human beings before, at all. Re: your “dour” comment: you might as well accuse someone of being “too thin-skinned” for bleeding after you stab them with an ice-pick; stupid, simply stupid.
You really might try gaining at least the barest modicum of manners, before you try again to engage those who have them.
so that’s how TMZ got them….I would think they would not have wanted any pictures released for awhile….they need time to grieve in private. I really hope the service was not filmed for the tv show. That would have been tacky and not appropriate.
Did they figure out….was Jubilee a boy or a girl?
Joan.. again. Wow. You were gleeful when a toddler girl was run over in China and left dying in the road and now you’re gleeful that baby Jubilee has died and her family has the audacity to grieve her.
There is no humor in a child’s death Joan.
The darkness in your soul must be impalpable. So much hate and bitterness and just total lack of any human warmth in your posts. What makes you so angry and bitter Joan? What is it that caused you to cease feeling any empathy for fellow human beings?
joan 3:14PM
People grieve in their own way and if they find solace in a picture of Jubilee, why would you make this the basis for such crudity? I saw the funeral of a full term child who died because of physical abuse to the mother. She was carrying the child at the funeral home. I bet you could make a real knee slapper out of that one.
People like joan have to joke about dead children or they might have to actually think about the darkness in their own souls and about what it really is that they advocate.
Thanks, joan, for keeping it consistent.
Good point Kel,
I always give credit where due and joan does indeed deserve points for consistency.
Well, girls, we have a word for all that. And I used it.
I am still not a fan of the Duggars, but I am sorry she lost the baby. I am shocked and dismayed by some of the comments I’ve read on various boards. Many people are glad that she miscarried and others say things like the other children should have been miscarried/aborted. Sick.
“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”
I pray that the Lord will bless and comfort the Duggars in their time of sorrow.
May I make a suggestion Joan? Talk to Carla–don’t be afraid. She will be there for you. I would love to see you be at peace. Remember, Carla and I have been there before.
phillymiss 5:38PM
Dittos. Sorry to say.
I lost a newborn shortly after full term birth, and I truly don’t know what I would do without pictures of her pretty little face. God bless those wonderful photographers who turn their art into a little ministry.
Wow, what beautiful pictures. Such a touching reminder of little Jubilee for the Duggars to have.
Making “humor” out of an issue over which people are grieving… rather immature joan.
My mom had a miscarriage at 8 months back in 1958. I was only 3 at the time, but my folks had the presence of mind to have a photo taken of my BROTHER. He just looked like he was asleep, all bundled up in a blanket with a crucifix around his neck and a tiny cluster of rose buds pinned to his little garment’s collar. We each got a copy of it and one hung with all the other family photo’s in our house. He was definitely a part of our family and always will be. Yes, he has his own little grave with a marker in the cemetary. My parents never once referred to him as a “fetus” but rather as “our SON”. NO ONE has ever made any negative comment about the photo. His name “Paul Andrew” is engraved on the frame and on his headstone. We are all grateful my parents did that.
I’ve spent some time thinking it over, and I wish to apologize for my 3:14pm post. Callously bringing up the hideous abomination of cinema that is Weekend at Bernie’s was wrong of me to do. I can only begin to imagine the horrible memories that it conjured up for people unfortunate enough to have seen the movie. Therefore, I humbly request your forgiveness, and I pledge to never again mention Weekend at Bernie’s, or any other terrible 80’s comedies.
Apparently, a troll must return to her vomit. So be it; I tried.
Joan,
Your ignorance is truly pathetic.
joan, you are seriously warped.
But Jesus loves you, and so must we. May God bless you and draw you ever closer to Himself.
The troll is obviously seriously starved for attention and can only get it here. Ignore her and she’ll find another bridge to live under. Once everyone stops responding to her she’ll give up and hopefully get a life.
So, joan…do you have any dead siblings I can joke about?
I lost a baby at 5 months gestation due to miscarriage. We had a mortuary pick him up and had him cremated and we held a service at the church where a blessing was given and then we had him buried in the grave with his grandfather.
O Lord who watches over children in the present life and in the world to come because of their simplicity and innocence of mind, abundantly satisfying them with a place in Abraham’s bosom, bringing them to live in radiantly shining places where the spirits of the righteous dwell: receive in peace the soul of Your little servant Jubilee Shalom, for You Yourself have said, “Let the little children come to Me, for such is the Kingdom of Heaven.” Amen.
perhaps joan has never had an abortion. maybe shes just childless by choice. some people are just evil. ted bundy never had an abortion but he was evil twisted and sick. he and joan had something in common. joan is evil. God bless all families who have miscarried.
joan i know a lot of funny people. i actually love comedy if done properly. lady you aint funny!!!! so give it up and do us all a favor.
I am not sure if Joan has any dead siblings; I do know she has a dead child.
Hi ts,
My sympathy to you for your loss. Where I live, there is a special spot at one of the cemetaries for preterm babies who have died. Some women choose this option, others do not, but they are always informed of it. I think it is a wonderful service to offer.
The best way to dignify stupidity is to acknowledge it.
joan, you’re stupid. Folks, let’s not dignify that fact.
I’m not a fan of the Duggars, but I’m very sad for the death of their daughter. My mother had two miscarriages. The lack of compassion from some people has been disgusting.
joan (aka The Orc),
I’m truly sorry that you were unable to pass first grade. But, please stop advertising that fact. Just admit that you have no support for your pro-abortion position, and that you are incapable of participating in an intelligent debate. You’re only embarrassing yourself.
It is nice to see people respecting the loss of the Duggars. It is nice to see the Duggars respecting the life and loss of their child. God bless their family, Jubilee and all the little ones who have passed away.
NILMDTS offers a needed service.
Joan,
You just don’t get it, do you? It’s not just the fact that you used the movie “Weekend at Bernie’s” in reference to their loss, but the fact that you disrespected and mocked this family’s loss and grieving process and your pseudo-apology, referencing only the movie just makes a mockery of our righteous anger. Now you can offer a sincere apology, or be gone with you, you troll.
I think that was the point, Rachel. She was attempting to be sarcastically clever, when really she’s just ignorant and callous.